Vindictive DMing

[Dorni]

I was once asked to DM for a group for a few sessions until they could find a DM who was willing to run the campaign. Most of the players were pretty good, but there were two problem players. These two were greedy. Not their characters, the players themselves were greedy. Every time the group found treasure they had a reason that they deserved "slightly" more than the others. Early in the game (level 2) they killed an enemy with a composite longbow. The rogue (problem pc 1) realized it was valuable and immediately claimed it as his share of the treasure, but he didn't have the strength to use it. Problem PC 2 argued that since he was a fighter with the strength to use it, he should get it. They spent two hours arguing back and forth over who would claim it. This wasn't the first time they had argued over loot, and I was getting sick of it.

Fortunately for me, the party returned to town. The problem rogue was a member of the theives guild but had lately double-crossed them. Him and the problem fighter went out shopping together, which conviently separted them from the rest of the party. Short story: a member of the theives guild reconized problem pc 1 and alerted the guild. After the problem PCs finished their hour long shopping ordeal, they were greeted by a volley of hand crossbow bolts and thrown weapons as they left the store, most of them fired by rogues. I fudged the damage rolls a bit so that neither died, but then the theives guild tied up the two unconcious PCs and dragged them off to their guildhouse. There they were tortured for days on end as a warning to other theives not to double-cross the guild.

The rest of the PCs decided that since they didn't hear back from the pair after they went out shopping, their characters figured the rogue and fighter had abanoned them. They went off to enjoy the rest of the session adventuring while the problem PCs were safely tucked away and tortured by the theives guild.

[Meschaelene]

In Cyberpunk 2020, there are these silly gangs called "Posergangs" -- they are so into following their media heroes that they not only not only dress like their heroes, but have radical plastic surgery to look just like them. The books describe "The Kennedy's Posergang", that all have been sculpted to look like John F, Robert or Jackie. Disturbing, but they completely lack crunch. Anyway...

I forget what he did, but it was in a Cyberpunk 2020 campaign, and the group was near the Alps. Naturally, their was a Posergang, and this one was based on the Von Trapp family. The little girl beat the snot out of the guy who was peeving me -- I had given her the equivalent of 4 ranks past master in Choi Li Fut. Oh yeah, and there was a media there filming it for a segment of "Rustic Lifestyles" (Channel 62).

[Ninja Chocobo]

Did a one shot on the Wizard's chat server to test out my homebrewed bunny. I told them to bring PCs leveled up to the suspected CR ... may they rest in peace.

Pah. They got the hook wrong. It's supposed to be:
"That's no ordinary rabbit!"

[Diggorian]

Pah. They got the hook wrong. It's supposed to be:
"That's no ordinary rabbit!"

Ha. Could've also used "What's it gonna do? Nibble my bum?".

The hook I used was from one of the players, a girl gamer that hadnt seen Holy Grail. The dwarf rogue read my flavor text and started running. The bunny moved his PC's all out run distance then jumped to head him off.

Dwarf rogue: "Why is he after me? I didnt threaten him!"
DM Me: "You're fear reeks of elderberries. Sweet ... juicy ... elderberries."
*bunny latches on with Horrific Gnawing*

[Daedo daShoegod]

This is pretty bad: The party Cleric/Rogue is part of the town theives guild and decides to seduce a member of the guild (who is in fact an evil cultist). He rolls low on his Bluff and she manages to lure him out to a cave in the wilderness (w/another low roll from him- this time w/sense motive). When he grows suspicious that this cave is not in fact filled w/treasure to be looted he panics. The drow cultist lying in wait casts darkness, and the bard grapples him (AND WINS!). He is promptly pinned and the other cultists (they were Sorcerer/rogues) manacle him to a stone altar (he put no ranks in escape artist). They were a cult of Graz'zt (demon lord of darkness and seduction) and I didn't want the player to die by sacrifice, so instead he was "initiated". The funniest thing is the player was xtremely homophobic and I got a real laugh when I told him that there were also male cultists surrounding him. He managed to escape w/the use of Bluff checks but his characters dignity (and virginity) had been stolen.

Sick and twisted, I know