Centaurs don't make no sense

[Maglubiyet]

This thread got me thinking...

What exactly is in the human torso part of a centaur? Heart, lungs, digestive system? Or are those in the horse part? It seems to have two spines and rib cages -- does it have two of everything else inside? Also...two belly buttons?

Metabolically, how could that small mouth and nose provide enough food and oxygen to that massive body? How do those little human teeth withstand the massive amounts of grinding necessary to feed it?

So many questions!

[Keltest]

Magic.

Alternatively they actually have a gaping maw in their human torso that they consume large quantities of meat with, which goes into the digestive system in their horse body. They just eat, like, porridge or something in front of outsiders so they don't squick them out.

[Eisenheim]

C. S. Lewis indicates in The Horse and his Boy that they have 2 stomachs, and must thus eat two of each meal. Take that for what you will, as it is essentially a fairytale reality, rather than whatever the fantasy equivalent of hard sci-fi is.

I don't thin the original greek myths that gave us centaurs concerned themselves overmuch with the biology of the thing.

[Keltest]

C. S. Lewis indicates in The Horse and his Boy that they have 2 stomachs, and must thus eat two of each meal. Take that for what you will, as it is essentially a fairytale reality, rather than whatever the fantasy equivalent of hard sci-fi is.

I don't thin the original greek myths that gave us centaurs concerned themselves overmuch with the biology of the thing.

Sure they did. They were wine-powered.

[Mr Beer]

John Varley's Giaia trilogy has centaurs in a sci-fi setting. Not sure about the answers to all of these questions but the 'human' half was oversized, built on an heroic scale. I think they ate a lot as well and had excellent dentition. Varley went into extensive detail about their physiology and society, but roughly 80% of the detail concerned their vigorous sex-lives and exactly why human-centaur sex was a thing. Or maybe that's just the 80% that I remember.

[Mr. Mask]

Is mouth size an issue? Flamingoes subsist off cyanobacteria and algae, and their beaks and filtering system isn't that large. If centaurs eat very large meals every day or so, or spend all their time foraging like many animals have to, they'll probably be OK (though they might have horse teeth).

For nostrils, they might need to breath through their mouths a lot, or just have very large nostrils. Though, if they have four lungs.... they probably have very strong breath (from drinking, too).

[Maglubiyet]

Is mouth size an issue? Flamingoes subsist off cyanobacteria and algae, and their beaks and filtering system isn't that large.

A flamingo isn't a very good example -- they are thin, lightweight animals, maybe 5-7kg, and their bills are huge compared to their body.

Horse-sized centaurs would be in the neighborhood of 400+kg...with a mouth smaller than a flamingo's.

John Varley's Giaia trilogy has centaurs in a sci-fi setting. Not sure about the answers to all of these questions but the 'human' half was oversized, built on an heroic scale. I think they ate a lot as well and had excellent dentition. Varley went into extensive detail about their physiology and society, but roughly 80% of the detail concerned their vigorous sex-lives and exactly why human-centaur sex was a thing. Or maybe that's just the 80% that I remember.

lol, I'll have to look for this one.

[MrStabby]

Ratio of mouth size to mass shouldnt be an issue. Compare elephants or even whales. They may need particularly high energy foods though to maintain body mass - but that explains the wine and feasting.

[Anonymouswizard]

First off, the title makes no sense. Or doesn't make any sense.

What exactly is in the human torso part of a centaur? Heart, lungs, digestive system? Or are those in the horse part? It seems to have two spines and rib cages -- does it have two of everything else inside? Also...two belly buttons?

Shrug. Search me.

Metabolically, how could that small mouth and nose provide enough food and oxygen to that massive body? How do those little human teeth withstand the massive amounts of grinding necessary to feed it?

So many questions!

If you unzip the front of the horse the human half can step out.

[Mr. Mask]

Beer: Do they have dual genitalia in this setting?

A flamingo isn't a very good example -- they are thin, lightweight animals, maybe 5-7kg, and their bills are huge compared to their body.

Horse-sized centaurs would be in the neighborhood of 400+kg...with a mouth smaller than a flamingo's.

Again, they're eating algae and cyanobacteria. Their beak's sifting surface area is the only relevant value for their "mouth" in this context, and that isn't so large as you seem to give credit for.

[JAL_1138]

The same way dragons fly and giant bugs exist in such settings?

Or perhaps their physiology is radically different at a cellular level allowing them to derive far more nutrients and store much more water from the same intake than a human or horse; plus their lungs are extremely efficient.

[Maglubiyet]

The same way dragons fly and giant bugs exist in such settings?

I refuse to go this route! Dragons get pages and pages of explanatory text trying to justify how something so obviously biologically impossible could exist. Centaurs, on the other hand, always seem to get a pass -- they're "normal enough" that they try to slip them past us.

Yeah, sure, a horse guy...no problem. No! I'm putting my foot down on this one. I've seen x-rays* and anatomy diagrams of illithids, griffins, and even beholders (BEHOLDERS!) It's time for the centaur-fancier crowd to put up or shut up.

That Gaia series that Mr. Beer mentioned is one of the few exceptions I've heard of where someone actually tries to explain centaur biology.

EDIT: * that would be really cool if someone has an x-ray of a centaur. It would expose them as the impossible beasts that they are. Those tricky Ancient Greeks can't pull one over on me!

[JAL_1138]

I refuse to go this route! Dragons get pages and pages of explanatory text trying to justify how something so obviously biologically impossible could exist. Centaurs, on the other hand, always seem to get a pass -- they're "normal enough" that they try to slip them past us.

Yeah, sure, a horse guy...no problem. No! I'm putting my foot down on this one. I've seen x-rays* and anatomy diagrams of illithids, griffins, and even beholders (BEHOLDERS!) It's time for the centaur-fancier crowd to put up or shut up.

That Gaia series that Mr. Beer mentioned is one of the few exceptions I've heard of where someone actually tries to explain centaur biology.

EDIT: * that would be really cool if someone has an x-ray of a centaur. It would expose them as the impossible beasts that they are. Those tricky Ancient Greeks can't pull one over on me!

The University of Tennessee has this art/anatomy exhibit: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1i-9CawiKW...of%2BVolos.jpg

And the International Wildlife Museum in Tucson has this art/anatomy exhibit: http://i.usatoday.net/tech/_photos/2...L5-x-large.jpg

[Mr Beer]

lol, I'll have to look for this one.

Actually a really cool series, it only occurs to me today how it might mesh nicely with the squickier regions of equine fandom lurking on the internet.

Beer: Do they have dual genitalia in this setting?

Dual genitalia? LOL, no, that would be craaazzyyy!

They have three sets, of course.

There's the giant horsecock, in the usual equine location, but it's actually human in shape and horsey in size.

There's the posterior vagina, also in the usual horse location, exact visual description not clarified.

Then the human genitals, they are in the normal human location, tucked away under tufts of brightly coloured bodyhair. These can be male or female, they are normal human size, or possibly slightly larger because the human body is oversize, as mentioned before. These also determine whether the centaur is 'male' or 'female'.

The centaurs have posterior sex (horsecock in posterior vagina) all the time, this is a casual and friendly act and doesn't matter whether the participants are male or female IIRC. They all have both required sets of equipment as it were.

They have sex with their human genitals only as an act of love, this is a big deal.

Anyway, it's all a lot more intuitive than this preposterous 'dual genitalia' concept you floated, I'm sure you'll agree.

[Mewtarthio]

See, each centaur is actually linked with a separate creature, the taurcen. Taurcen are all hidden away in a magical world filled with wheat, and they have the legs of a human with the head of a horse (alas, they have neither arms nor torso). Persistent magical portals connect the centaur's halves to the corresponding bits of their respective taurcen's anatomy; thus, when the taurcen eats, the food ends up in the centaur's horse belly.

As a side note, this does mean that teleport interdiction magic can be deadly to centaurs (they've got some redundant systems that can keep them from immediately dropping dead, but they can't last much longer than a few hours). That said, it's probably a bad idea to exploit this, unless you think your favorite cloak would look better drenched in poison blood.

[Mr. Mask]

Beer: I was prepared to say this, but now more than my expectations could possibly prepare me for:

Spoiler

Show

2spooky4me!

Mewtario: Clever.

[Brother Oni]

Ratio of mouth size to mass shouldnt be an issue. Compare elephants or even whales. They may need particularly high energy foods though to maintain body mass - but that explains the wine and feasting.

I believe some greek myths had the centaurs as carnivorous, so a high protein diet should be sufficiently energy dense enough.

Aside from the 'nice' centaurs like Chiron (which has subsequently filtered through to make friendly centaur the rule rather than the exception), generally centaurs were regarded as wild and dangerous - they weren't adverse to eating humans or doing board inappropriate things to human females, especially when drunk.

[Murk]

I was going to write an explanation about how the horse-part doesn't really have any organs, but are just an extension of the spine and mostly muscles; how they're just a huge bodypart that exists to make room for an extra set of legs; two giant buttocks, so to say.

But then I read the tales about three genitalia and portals to reverse centaurs. That is so much better.

[Sindeloke]

I... can't top Varley, but I always sort of made them make sense by picturing a caterpillar with its front folded up. Presumably they're just a typical long creature, but with a random right angle while at rest. I'd put their lungs all the way down the "human" part and their stomach in the "horse" bit.

I just wonder about their hygiene. I remember an entire SNL skit about how they wipe themselves once (the answer is cloth on sticks), but how do they comb their tails out, or wash under their foreskin?

[Kalmageddon]

I... can't top Varley, but I always sort of made them make sense by picturing a caterpillar with its front folded up.

And now the question is: what do centaurs become after pupation?

[TheCountAlucard]

Aside from the 'nice' centaurs like Charon…

That's Chiron you're thinking of. Charon is the totes-not-a-centaur guy who ferries the dead across the River Styx.

[Brother Oni]

That's Chiron you're thinking of. Charon is the totes-not-a-centaur guy who ferries the dead across the River Styx.

Ooops, fixed now. Still, I was close enough that you knew who I meant.

[Braininthejar2]

I'd assume the horse part contains most organs (being bigger) while the human half contains mostly muscle.

I can't really get over the nostrils though (there was the time I considered giving centaurs blowholes on their back)

[Mr. Mask]

Well, they could potentially breathe through their mouth simultaneously with their nostrils. Of course, not all nostrils are created equally.

[Braininthejar2]

Well, they could potentially breathe through their mouth simultaneously with their nostrils. Of course, not all nostrils are created equally.

Now try combining your picture with this

[GungHo]

Y'all are weird.

[Anonymouswizard]

Now try combining your picture with this

Are we adding the trio of privates as well?

Oh, and Mr Beer, you've got me wondering on which set/sets of equipment are fertile on a centaur, is that explained?

[Maglubiyet]

Oh, and Mr Beer, you've got me wondering on which set/sets of equipment are fertile on a centaur...

And which set of mammaries are used for their infants.

[LibraryOgre]

In "Fire Time" by Poul Anderson, the main alien species is a centauroid leonine race. While they eat with their mouths, their "manes" are a symbiotic species of plants which provide them with additional nourishment.

[Hawkstar]

Are we adding the trio of privates as well?

Oh, and Mr Beer, you've got me wondering on which set/sets of equipment are fertile on a centaur, is that explained?

I think the answer is "all of them, though possibly sequentially"

However... I have now found a race that's even more... erm... something than Chakats. And WAY too much TMI. Not appreciated! NOT APPRECIATED!