A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #361
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoPhoenix0 View Post
    hey, now THAT is racist. Beholders and Mind Flayers aren't insane. They just have different default thinking patterns and physiological needs.
    So they're genocidal M. C. Escher paintings?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Hall View Post
    There's a reason why we bap your nose, not crucify you, for thread necromancy.

  2. - Top - End - #362
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Hey, illithids are actually pretty sane by human standards. They just have a dietary need to eat people.

    Beholders are crazy. Even by beholder standards 99.9% of beholders are crazy (beholder definition of insanity is being a beholder different than their nation's stock). Also beholders are pretty similar to ants.
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  3. - Top - End - #363
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by atemu1234 View Post
    Due to some... experiments of mine, I ping for all alignments. Hey, getting all the variant paladins to try and kill me is worth a lot of XP! (I may have killed Loyal's entire order, though... he got a new one!)
    I hope you know it cost me a boatload of money to resurrect them all. I also plead with the great and powerful deity Diem to not grant you the XP. He agreed with me.
    If purple is evil, bold gray is lawful good.

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  4. - Top - End - #364
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    kids these days ( takes another sip from Merope beer )life is much better when you are in unknown dimension with nephilim/ houri in your bed

  5. - Top - End - #365
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    "In a world of villains and heroes, the truly powerful sit back and watch the fireworks"

    -some dude
    I've been thinking about this. This is just wrong. Anyone with enough world experience and the wisdom to actually learn from it just knows better than to meddle. Unwise powerful people make themselves into targets with a big bulls-eye for all the less powerful people. The reason why the world of villains and heroes exists is a lack of ability to learn specific kinds of wisdom in the majority of people. If there where more of that type of wisdom the villains wouldn't be able to get powerful because the heroes needed to destroy them wouldn't be powerful. It's all just a vicious circle/hydra/whatever overly used metaphor for the nature of evil you want to use which leads to some very powerful people to feel obliged to do something sometimes, mainly when it involves stuff they did to get where they are.

    Oh and since we have been talking about alignments for a while now i think it best to remind people that i really don't lay claim to being CE at all, people can be so judgmental at times.
    Last edited by NeoPhoenix0; 2015-06-30 at 04:28 AM.

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  6. - Top - End - #366
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Spoiler: Hey, I found some other pics of Whatsername
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  7. - Top - End - #367
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by Zaydos View Post
    Also beholders are pretty similar to ants.
    You have ruined ant colonies for me.

  8. - Top - End - #368
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeoPhoenix0 View Post
    --Snippity--
    I see it as that the powerful ones foolish enough to meddle and make targets of themselves aren't the most powerful ones, simply because the experience and cunning to sit back and avoid the conflict lend more power than pure strength and a set of morals.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    I always thought understanding Scottish required a fort save vs. Alcohol poisoning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Twelve.five
    Hipsterdin- Smiting Heathens before it was cool.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla
    See, this wouldn't happen if you were a Zweihander Sentinel Warder with Silver Crane. You'd have a 60 ft. fly speed with good maneuverability, DR and glowing pants as early as level 8.

    Pink is Neutral Evil, because reasons.


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  9. - Top - End - #369
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    I see it as that the powerful ones foolish enough to meddle and make targets of themselves aren't the most powerful ones, simply because the experience and cunning to sit back and avoid the conflict lend more power than pure strength and a set of morals.
    that's the fell spirit IZ I knew you make good evil example in this forum

  10. - Top - End - #370
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    Quote Originally Posted by khadgar567 View Post
    that's the fell spirit IZ I knew you make good evil example in this forum
    Except I'm true neutral.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    I always thought understanding Scottish required a fort save vs. Alcohol poisoning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Twelve.five
    Hipsterdin- Smiting Heathens before it was cool.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla
    See, this wouldn't happen if you were a Zweihander Sentinel Warder with Silver Crane. You'd have a 60 ft. fly speed with good maneuverability, DR and glowing pants as early as level 8.

    Pink is Neutral Evil, because reasons.


    Exalted Monk Avatar by ThePrez1776

  11. - Top - End - #371
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    Except I'm true neutral.
    Y'know except for the times when you go all pink text because people start talking about chopping up your bodyparts for sacrifice.

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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Beholders are insane because their rational, planning minds are literally segregated from their direct sensory inputs by their emotional, ego-protecting minds, to the point that the facts about the world upon which their rational minds base their logical, well-thought-out plans are edited by their emotional minds to protect those egos.

    That's right: they literally believe things that are not true, and base their plans on them.

    There are a very few sane beholders whose emotional minds are willing to share undiluted reality as their senses report it with the rational mind. These are rather terrifyingly effective individuals.

  13. - Top - End - #373
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    Quote Originally Posted by Segev View Post
    Beholders are insane because their rational, planning minds are literally segregated from their direct sensory inputs by their emotional, ego-protecting minds, to the point that the facts about the world upon which their rational minds base their logical, well-thought-out plans are edited by their emotional minds to protect those egos.

    That's right: they literally believe things that are not true, and base their plans on them.

    There are a very few sane beholders whose emotional minds are willing to share undiluted reality as their senses report it with the rational mind. These are rather terrifyingly effective individuals.
    segev can you share the truename( link) of one of then so my scholar minions summon him for chat

  14. - Top - End - #374
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    Quote Originally Posted by khadgar567 View Post
    segev can you share the truename( link) of one of then so my scholar minions summon him for chat
    Beholders were never released for the SRD; you have to look them up in the 3e monster manual. The details on their minds are found in Lords of Madness, another 3.5 supplement. Sorry I can't be more helpful; I don't have a free online resource for this one. (Heck, I only have LoM in hardcopy.)

  15. - Top - End - #375
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    Y'know except for the times when you go all pink text because people start talking about chopping up your bodyparts for sacrifice.
    Shhhhh... Don't remind them of the sacrifice stuff, it's been like a week and a half since they last tried.
    Last edited by IZ42; 2015-06-30 at 09:20 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    I always thought understanding Scottish required a fort save vs. Alcohol poisoning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Twelve.five
    Hipsterdin- Smiting Heathens before it was cool.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla
    See, this wouldn't happen if you were a Zweihander Sentinel Warder with Silver Crane. You'd have a 60 ft. fly speed with good maneuverability, DR and glowing pants as early as level 8.

    Pink is Neutral Evil, because reasons.


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  16. - Top - End - #376
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by Zaydos View Post
    Also beholders are pretty similar to ants.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ashtagon View Post
    You have ruined ant colonies for me.
    Hahahaha. Me too...

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoPhoenix0 View Post
    Anyone with enough world experience and the wisdom to actually learn from it just knows better than to meddle.
    I have a relatively high Wisdom score and I would meddle 10/10 times if something was going wrong. Wisdom isn't knowing how dangerous a situation is. It's knowing that you could single-handedly make a difference, possibly at the expense of your life, and that is a risk you are willing to take.

    Also, my dear pupil Neo is not CE. Clearly CN fits better. We're working on shifting that to CG.

    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    I see it as that the powerful ones foolish enough to meddle and make targets of themselves aren't the most powerful ones, simply because the experience and cunning to sit back and avoid the conflict lend more power than pure strength and a set of morals.
    I'd echo what I said before. You've got to set an example for others. The most powerful person in the world steps out onto the battlefield and is hopelessly outmatched. But, he is setting an example for the army cowering behind his walls. He might fall, but in the end he was stronger than them all.

    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    Except I'm true neutral.
    Wait wha-

    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    Y'know except for the times when you go all pink text because people start talking about chopping up your bodyparts for sacrifice.
    Yeah seriously!
    If purple is evil, bold gray is lawful good.

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  17. - Top - End - #377
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoyalPaladin View Post
    Wait wha-


    Yeah seriously!
    You wouldn't be the nicest person if a psychopath was constantly trying to lop off important bits.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    I always thought understanding Scottish required a fort save vs. Alcohol poisoning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Twelve.five
    Hipsterdin- Smiting Heathens before it was cool.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla
    See, this wouldn't happen if you were a Zweihander Sentinel Warder with Silver Crane. You'd have a 60 ft. fly speed with good maneuverability, DR and glowing pants as early as level 8.

    Pink is Neutral Evil, because reasons.


    Exalted Monk Avatar by ThePrez1776

  18. - Top - End - #378
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    You wouldn't be the nicest person if a psychopath was constantly trying to lop off important bits.
    That's high-functioning sociop- wait, I haven't tried to cut you up. Lately.
    My headache medicine has a little "Ex" inscribed on the pill. It's not a brand name; it's an indicator that it works inside an Anti-Magic Field.

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  19. - Top - End - #379
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    You wouldn't be the nicest person if a psychopath was constantly trying to lop off important bits.
    hey all girls I send are professionally trained in art of seduction and mindrape .I don't send assassins directly to potential ally. it makes bad pr resume. only true idiots send assassins to peace treaties were any one with decent int and wisdom waits until the swords are drawn

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    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    You wouldn't be the nicest person if a psychopath was constantly trying to lop off important bits.
    That is probably a fair statement. Snow is oddly docile with me. It could just be my Magic Circle Against Evil keeping that 10 foot distance though...

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel View Post
    That's high-functioning sociop- wait, I haven't tried to cut you up. Lately.
    I don't even need to detect evil to know you're considering chopping of a limb or two of IZ's.

    Quote Originally Posted by khadgar567 View Post
    hey all girls I send are professionally trained in art of seduction and mindrape .
    So many possibilities to rewrite this one... I'll just stick with a well rooted reply. Snow isn't skilled with Seduction or Mindrape. Snow is skilled with chainsaws and pointy objects. I'm specific about Snowbluff because that would be the main cause of Iz's TN leaning evil alignment.
    If purple is evil, bold gray is lawful good.

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  21. - Top - End - #381
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    I used to be Exalted Neutral Good, I blame Snow and the public education system.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    I always thought understanding Scottish required a fort save vs. Alcohol poisoning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Twelve.five
    Hipsterdin- Smiting Heathens before it was cool.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla
    See, this wouldn't happen if you were a Zweihander Sentinel Warder with Silver Crane. You'd have a 60 ft. fly speed with good maneuverability, DR and glowing pants as early as level 8.

    Pink is Neutral Evil, because reasons.


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  22. - Top - End - #382
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    I used to be Exalted Neutral Good, I blame Snow and the public education system.
    I feel you. Years ago I was actually Neutral Evil. I've been around the Alignment Scale. I went NE>TN>CG>TN>LN>LE>LN>LG. Ever since I've joined GitP though, I keep retreating further and further into the LG corner...
    If purple is evil, bold gray is lawful good.

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  23. - Top - End - #383
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashtagon View Post
    You have ruined ant colonies for me.
    Beholders are ruled by a queen who can give birth to them (though all lesser beholders can spawn asexually), live in hive, have a rigidly and physically defined caste system, and the small, white, helpless ones are abducted by another hive when one beholder hive conquers the other (they're just used to power ships instead of as laborers).

    Quote Originally Posted by IZ42 View Post
    You wouldn't be the nicest person if a psychopath was constantly trying to lop off important bits.
    I take offense to this. I am a many millennia old dragon-lich, back when I was alive humans were all for sacrificing animals too, and the difference between my Intelligence and your 20th level wizards is greater than the difference between your average and an animal. So perfectly rational, just a different culture. Also not human and therefore not humanocentric in my morality. Seriously most "insane monsters" are insane and monsters because they treat humans how humans treat everything else. Also I'm not really going to sacrifice you, just needed to distract you while I turned you into an extra redundant auxiliary human-form phylactery, because you gosh darn humans keep killin' off all my hobgoblins. Did you know you can make human-form phylacteries true breeding?
    Peanut Half-Dragon Necromancer by Kurien.

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  24. - Top - End - #384
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Wow. We have confused his compass. He still thinks he's heading for lg. Good job guys.
    I follow a general rule: better to ask and be told no than not to ask at all.

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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    Quote Originally Posted by Keledrath View Post
    Wow. We have confused his compass. He still thinks he's heading for lg. Good job guys.
    GitP is one of those weird zones where all the alignments are reversed and if you're not "NG" you are sentenced to death by Snowbluff.
    If purple is evil, bold gray is lawful good.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LoyalPaladin View Post
    GitP is one of those weird zones where all the alignments are reversed and if you're not "NG" you are sentenced to death by Snowbluff.
    Is that why my apartment is always full of dead assassins when I come home and I have to reset all my traps?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elricaltovilla View Post
    Is that why my apartment is always full of dead assassins when I come home and I have to reset all my traps?
    That would probably explain it.
    If purple is evil, bold gray is lawful good.

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  28. - Top - End - #388
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zaydos View Post
    Illyahr's Cloak of the Strolling Bard
    Price: 20,000 GP
    Body Slot: Shoulders
    Caster Level: 8th.
    Aura: Moderate; DC 19 Transmutation and Enchantment.
    Activation: -.
    Weight: 1 lb.

    This red cloak is embroidered with cloth of gold creating the intricate appearance of a court musician. If the wearer is performing a bardic music performance they gain a +2 dodge bonus to AC and any creature which attacks them and misses is made to feel that it looked particularly ridiculous and suffers a -2 penalty to attack rolls and AC until they successfully strike the bard, force the bard to flee, or 10 minutes have passed; this is a mind-affecting compulsion.

    Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, creator must be able to perform the Fascinate and Inspire Competence bardic music performances, Cat's Grace, Hideous Laughter, caster level 8 plus.
    Cost to Create: 10,000 GP, and 800 XP.
    Excellent stall and evade item.

    Now, if only I could get my hands on a shutdown item or...

    Quote Originally Posted by Zaydos View Post
    Illyahr's Lute of Calming Eloquence
    Price: 11,000 GP
    Body Slot: - (Held)
    Caster Level: 3rd.
    Aura: Weak; DC 16 Enchantment.
    Activation: Full-round.
    Weight: 2 lb.

    Made of gold and silver with strings of nymph's hair this lapharp is fit for a king. When its strings are strummed it provokes a calming influence over creatures, lulling them into realizations that they and the bard are not so different after all. Playing the lapharp as a full round action allows the wielder to use Perform (String Instrument) in place of a Diplomacy to attempt a rushed diplomacy and suffer no penalty to the check when doing so. The effect of this is only temporary lasting a mere 5 minutes after which point the creature(s) return to their initial attitude unless the wielder's further actions (such as a normal diplomacy check or abusing their sudden friendship) would change it. No creature may be affected by this harp more than once per day.

    Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Items, Fascinate (bardic music) ability, creator must have 6 ranks in Perform (String Instrument), Charm Person.
    Cost to Create: 6,000 GP and 480 XP I have absolutely no idea how to price this thing.
    HAHAHAHAHA!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoyalPaladin View Post
    I have a relatively high Wisdom score and I would meddle 10/10 times if something was going wrong. Wisdom isn't knowing how dangerous a situation is. It's knowing that you could single-handedly make a difference, possibly at the expense of your life, and that is a risk you are willing to take.
    A wisdom score isn;t the sum of all wisdom up o that point. You're still missing the right kind of wisdom. What if I told you by putting your life on the line you are making things worse for your side?

    Also, my dear pupil Neo is not CE. Clearly CN fits better. We're working on shifting that to CG.
    I need to light you on fire don't I.

    Quote Originally Posted by Segev View Post
    Beholders are insane because their rational, planning minds are literally segregated from their direct sensory inputs by their emotional, ego-protecting minds, to the point that the facts about the world upon which their rational minds base their logical, well-thought-out plans are edited by their emotional minds to protect those egos.

    That's right: they literally believe things that are not true, and base their plans on them.

    There are a very few sane beholders whose emotional minds are willing to share undiluted reality as their senses report it with the rational mind. These are rather terrifyingly effective individuals.
    Different physiology, different minds, different standards. You can't measure everything by the same standard. That is the most unfair thing in the world. Having different standards for different people and things is fair. The trouble is knowing when those standards should be different and when they shouldn't.

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  30. - Top - End - #390
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    Default Re: GiP Regulars as Wondrous Items

    I couldn't resist writing something up

    V's Restless Handkerchief
    Price : 300,000
    Body Slot : None
    Caster Level : 13
    Aura : I dunno magical
    Weight : 0.15 pounds
    A simple handkerchief woven of fine mithral, ivory, and silk. The handkerchief always has the initial of the person currently carrying it embroider on it's corner but when shown in a mirror it shows a V
    Well kept on the individual they are immune to sleep, paralysis, fear effects, cannot be grappled, and take half damage from negative energy.
    Those who have the handkerchief find they also only need 4 hours or rest to prepare spells. The handkerchief leaves those who carry it with a certain restless look though they never suffer the effects of exhaustion


    It's all a reference to the fact I never sleep and other things
    Either way to cheap or way to expensive
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    Rogue vs. Dog. (The new Cat vs. Commoner, only not amusing!)
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    You are making the assumption of rational planning. After 37 years of dungeon crawling, I still have zero evidence that the average dungeon was designed by the sane.
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