Leadership Issue

[TempusCCK]

No, not the feat, but rather, group dyanamic.

We've usually had a four person party, including me, my two best friends, and my girlfriend, playing under various DM's, whatever we could find. A time came when I felt discontent with the available DM's and any good one was unaccessable, so I decided to take the mantle upon myself and design a campaign for my group to run through.

It's been going swimmingly so far, but I've run into an issue with leadership. Before I would be the party face, I would take charge of situations, make the decisions and plot the plans for everyone, it was a good deal, they're admittedly not as good at that sort of thing as me, which is alright.

But now I've shifted to the DM, and can no longer provide that kind of guidance IC. I've found that I have to baby them, leading them on by the nose everywhere they go. I'm alright with this, but I worry that they might not be enjoying the game as much because of it.

Our last session I decided to give them a little bit more freedom, and it turned out less enjoyable for my girlfriend, who's a 3 Cleric of Pelor, when she said all the down time and decision making was getting on her nerves. I told her that if she needed decisiveness, she should try and step up and take the place that I left vacant.

My question to you is, in your experiences, is it alright to be lead on like I'm doing with my players, or should I try and find a way to make them more involved wioth the process? And if I should, what in your experiences works best, I have some ideas of my own, but a little support is always helpful.

[Indon]

Well, it seems you've a choice; either keep railroading them and they won't complain, or start giving them leeway and teaching them to do it themselves.

I recommend that if you do decide to tweak your groups' dynamic towards autonomy, that you do so slowly (Edit: Like, start with stuff that won't slow down your campaign very much). And, if you ever become a player again, don't be surprised if someone else wants to step up instead of you.

[Tellah]

Your players are all but begging you to come up with a storyline that involves very little decision-making. If they want a storyline that guides them along from one adventure to another, why not give it to them?

[Shrew]

Trying asking your players after each game a few questions. Questions along the lines of what did you like? dislike? How can we keep the flow of the game going? Is this too combat oriented? Do you want more combat? Is this game too much thinking/ problem solving? Questions like this can aid your group lead you in a less frustrating direction.

[Dausuul]

No, not the feat, but rather, group dyanamic.

We've usually had a four person party, including me, my two best friends, and my girlfriend, playing under various DM's, whatever we could find. A time came when I felt discontent with the available DM's and any good one was unaccessable, so I decided to take the mantle upon myself and design a campaign for my group to run through.

It's been going swimmingly so far, but I've run into an issue with leadership. Before I would be the party face, I would take charge of situations, make the decisions and plot the plans for everyone, it was a good deal, they're admittedly not as good at that sort of thing as me, which is alright.

But now I've shifted to the DM, and can no longer provide that kind of guidance IC. I've found that I have to baby them, leading them on by the nose everywhere they go. I'm alright with this, but I worry that they might not be enjoying the game as much because of it.

Our last session I decided to give them a little bit more freedom, and it turned out less enjoyable for my girlfriend, who's a 3 Cleric of Pelor, when she said all the down time and decision making was getting on her nerves. I told her that if she needed decisiveness, she should try and step up and take the place that I left vacant.

My question to you is, in your experiences, is it alright to be lead on like I'm doing with my players, or should I try and find a way to make them more involved wioth the process? And if I should, what in your experiences works best, I have some ideas of my own, but a little support is always helpful.

If they're having fun and you're having fun with what you've been doing, by all means keep doing it. The only "wrong" way to play D&D is a way that results in the players and/or DM not enjoying the game. No need to fix what ain't broke.

[Telonius]

Trying asking your players after each game a few questions. Questions along the lines of what did you like? dislike? How can we keep the flow of the game going? Is this too combat oriented? Do you want more combat? Is this game too much thinking/ problem solving? Questions like this can aid your group lead you in a less frustrating direction.

I'll second this. If you want to know, ask. Make sure you frame it in a way that you're getting the point across, that you want it to be as fun for everybody as possible. Ask for suggestions, and act on them. I'd suggest that you talk to people individually, though, not as a group. "Groupthink" can be a real problem otherwise; sometimes people are more reluctant to voice concerns in the context of a group if they think everybody else is doing fine.

[Matthew]

Yeah, I would tend to agree and Tellah is also right. Give it time and they will eventually come into their own. The dynamic has shifted and they need to adjust.

[RandomNPC]

i know how loss of a party leader OOC hits everyone. it doesn't matter what he plays, we have ourself a party leader. when he doesn't show up things kind of drag on untill someone fakes a cough and says something along the lines of "hey lets go this way"

it may be tempting, but a party leader DMnpc is not the way to go. i had a group of 5th level PCs with no healing ability, so i made a cleric to follow them around. now we just do one shot games on occasion with those characters, and the games always dull that day.

i guess i'll be a parrot and repeat what everyone else said, talk to them and see whats going on.

[Starsinger]

If your players need direction, but noone wants to become the leader themselves, have them consider joining some sort of guild, wherein you can have an NPC give them orders, like a Charlie or somethin.

[the_tick_rules]

yeah PC's leading PC's can be troublesome. in my military campaign the guy we somewhat arbitarily made squad sergant got kinda mad cause we never really listened to him that much.

[TempusCCK]

Eh, I have talked to them since posting this, and the result I get was pretty much "Keep railroading, keep up the NPC's that tell us what to do, and keep moving us places" blah blah blah.

So it kind of felt weird for me, because I know as a player I don't like that sort of thing, but I guess they're cool with that. So, whatever.

[Telonius]

Well, good to hear that they're okay with it. As long as you're having fun too, just roll with it.