What is the dumbest/most incompetent party that you could put together?

[Templarkommando]

Here are the rules, think of as many dumb fictional characters as you care to, and assign them roles in your D&D party. If you like, attach something that character might say when performing their role. Like so:

Frontline Fighter: Johnny Bravo "You think you can take me? Look at these pecs! Hoo! Hah! Hoo! (Flexing muscles) ARRRGGHHHH (As he flies away from getting beaten by whatever he's fighting).

Rogue: Jacque Clousaeu "No, you see, she couldn't have committed the crime. Women are always pure and innocent, especially the beautiful ones. Madam, you are free to go."

Cleric: Black Adder

Spoiler

Show

Edmund(Black Adder): Someone like you go to Hell? Never. Never!!
Graveney: But I have committed many sins.
Edmund: Haven't we all, haven't we all...
Graveney: I murdered my father...
Edmund: [glances at Richard IV] Well, I know how you feel.
Graveney: ...and I have committed adultery...
Edmund: Well, who hasn't?
Graveney: ...more than a thousand times...
Edmund: Well, it is 1487!
Graveney: ...with my mother.
Edmund: WHAT?
King: Good Lord...
Graveney: You see, I will go to Hell.
Edmund: Well, well, let's take Hell: You know, Hell isn't as bad as it's cracked up to be.

Arcane Caster(Conjurer): Monty Python's Self Defense Instructor: "If anyone attacks you with a raspberry, simply pull the lever and the 16 ton weight falls on his head. I learned that in Malaya."

"NOW, THE FIRST THING TO DO WHEN YOU"RE BEING STALKED BY AN ANGRY MOB WITH RASPBERRIES IS TO RELEASE THE TIGERS!!!"

Party Face: Joey Tribiani "How you doin?"

[Milodiah]

Party Rogue: Here'n'Now, Discworld series.

Spoiler

Show

“Worst thief in the world.”
“He doesn’t look that good.”
“No, I mean the worst, as in ‘not good at it.’”
“Remember when he was going to go all the way up to Dunmanifestin to steal the Secret of Fire from the gods? And I said ‘but we’ve got it, Here’n’now, we’ve had it for thousands of years. And he said, ‘that’s right, so it has antique value.’”

Paladin: Don Quixote.
"Now look, your grace," said Sancho, "what you see over there aren't giants, but windmills, and what seems to be arms are just their sails, that go around in the wind and turn the millstone."
"Obviously," replied Don Quixote, "you don't know much about adventures.”

Wizard: Gargamel, of the Smurfs.

Bard: Nathan Explosion, Metalocalypse.

[mig el pig]

Rogue: Oliver Hardy
"That's another fine mess you've gotten me into."



Fighter: Joffrey Baratheon
"I'm telling mother!"



Face: Vinny Gambini
"I fit in better than you. At least I'm wearing cowboy boots."



Cleric: Dr. Nick
"Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want. "

[It Sat Rap]

Rouge: Frodo, the leader who allways needs to be safed by his allies. He has a sword that glows in the dark so orcs can find him easier. Oh, he also never lands a hit with that sword! What do you expect, this guy has no training in everything that is important for an adventure. His greatest achievement was to trust a creature that blatantly tried to kill him. He also gave in to the dark side at the critical moment at the end of the story.

[I"]This ring is too heavy, can someone carry me, please?"[/I]

Wizard: Ronald Weasley, he has everything to be your best friend. He is a lousy wizard, he is whiny, bitchy, hypocritical, juvenile and unreliable. While other heroes maybe get some powerfull magic items from the GM, this guy needs a device that teleports him back to the party after he abandoned them when they needed him the most. His best skill is playing chess, so he will be very usefull if the GM conveniently sets up a game of chess as a puzzle. In all other circumstances, you better ask someone else for help.

"Hahaha, look, floating brains! I don't have something like that!"

Ranger: Deadeye Duncan, he is the 5th best duellist on his homeplanet. He has the super quick draw feat, so he can draw his weapon so fast that it will flung out of his hand. His greatest achievement was a tie in a duell between him and an one-legged monkey with a rusty knife. He is also not capable of learning by any means, trying again and again, fail after fail, to the bitter end.

"I can't do anything, but I'm very good at that!"

Bard: Sean Bean. Oopsy, he's dead!

"Ouch!"

[TristenC]

Any normal party plus:

Leeeeeeeeeerooooooooooooooyyyyy Jeeeeeeeeeeeenkinsssssssss!

[Kami2awa]

Anyone else think the party in the OP is amazing? I particularly like Blackadder the cleric, especially if he has the Trickery domain. And an arcane caster who can summon tigers, 16 ton weights and giant crushing feet from the sky is far more interesting that just another wizard.

[Shadowsend]

Bard: Roman Bellic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxMLVlspD1Y

[Beleriphon]

Bard: Roman Bellic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxMLVlspD1Y

But he always appears with Nico who is clearly a fighter. Trust me when I say that Nico offsets any negatives that Roman has.