Is crossplaying good or bad?

[TheMagician]

I recently had a very bad experience with a few male players playing female characters. They played their characters in very disturbing ways and I need your advice should i just straight up ban crossplaying all together or pose some kind of test for people that want to do it? Please share if you have had any bad experiences with crossplaying and how you handled them.

[Vitruviansquid]

It is never what is being played.

It is always who is doing the playing.

[Ninja_Prawn]

It's a tough call. Personally, I like crossplaying, but there are definitely some people who shouldn't be allowed to do it.

How can you tell what sort of person a given player is? I mean, some people hold some very toxic views about sex and gender but you wouldn't know because they never voice them.

[Jormengand]

If they're playing the character in weird ways, that's just them being immature. Two of the players in my regular games have at some point or other been playing opposite-gender characters and I have to think for a moment to remember who is and who isn't because it barely comes up. I don't think that it's necessarily a problem to do with "Crossplaying" but with the type of person in the first place.

[Rater202]

If someone is biased against or holds offensive views towards one gender, then they should not be allowed to play as that gender.

Beyond that, there's no harm and it can be fun to play as a different gender.

[Rockphed]

If people playing as the opposite sex disturbs you, don't let them do it. If it is just the people in question, ban them specifically. If it is any of it, ban it altogether. I personally find that it takes a very good roleplayer to play as the other sex without either being disturbing or weird.

[Millstone85]

I don't know, Rockphed. In my group of players, we are four men and one woman. She, another and I crossplay. That hasn't been a problem at all. And we are not good roleplayers.

[Red Fel]

It is never what is being played.

It is always who is doing the playing.

This. It shouldn't be revelation, but playing a female character and playing a male character are two acts that are remarkably similar. If the players are doing it in a strange way, it's not a problem of crossplaying; it's a problem of the players.

So let's refine the question. Is crossplaying good or bad? It's neither. It's a thing, like playing an orc or a space marine or a paladin. It's just a thing. Can crossplaying be good or bad? It depends on context.

Here's the interesting thing, though. I could describe to you my experience of a player who played an orc or a space marine or a paladin, or some other concept, and did so amazingly well. I could lay out the story, and at the end there might be a dozen people commenting "Awesome story" and "That's how an orc/space marine/paladin should be played!"

I can't think of the same for playing a gender. I mean, I know it helps form the identity of the character, but I can't grasp someone saying, "That's how a male/female character should be played" in a non-offensive way. I guess it's because, to me, there's nothing fantastical about a gender. It's like saying, "Now that's how you play an accountant." They exist. They are a thing.

So, having taken the long way 'round: No. Crossplaying is neither bad nor good. It's just a thing. It's there. If you don't like it at your table, say so. If you don't want a player doing it because he turns into a creeper, the problem is the player.

Also, tell him he's a creeper.

[OldTrees1]

When I DM, I DM on a level of abstraction where NPCs don't have genders unless a player asks(which rarely happens). One of my players has played both Male and Female PCs. There we no problems either way. The player was mature. I just needed to remember which pronoun to use with regard to this player's PC.

Your situation is different. You might benefit from banning crossplay. I would certainly suggest striking down any disturbing or disrupting crossplay.

As Vitruviansquid said

It is never what is being played.

It is always who is doing the playing.

[Honest Tiefling]

I've had plenty, unfortunately many I cannot relate due to NOT being PG-13. I've even had problems with ladies playing men, especially gay men so I guess everyone can be on the offensive train when it comes to this issue.

I am going to jump onto the 'Ban the players, not the style' thing. Firstly, people often don't want to audition for a hobby. Interesting concepts and ideas will be abandoned or you might chase off players that you'd otherwise want to keep.

Secondly, it isn't going to work. People can make normal seeming characters on paper and then it's 'oh god what are you doing with that ten foot pole and it is going WHERE!?' after the second session and then you have to have a discussion of why paladins shouldn't rape people because they SEEMED normal at first.

In my experience, male or female, those who have issues with cross-playing are going to end up doing other offensive stuff. In my experience, they ended to act really poorly in regards to those of the opposite sex. I really have to say to be careful about including anyone whose failed to portray the opposite gender with some modicum of respect, because it can quickly destroy a game and make for a creepy atmosphere.

The ONLY exception to this I can think of is that younger players are well, quite immature. However, much like auditioning, many people don't want to deal with it. Some people do it and grow out of it, but I haven't really seen that people who play offensively like that as an adult really get over it.

[Makiru]

More or less parroting what most of the above posts have said. Many of the people I play with tend to gravitate towards other genders and it tends to be fine for the most part. As has been said, a person/character's personality is rarely based on what's between their legs and on their chest, and if it is, then that will probably be a bland, one-sided character.

People who play females and go "Hur, boobies!" all the time will likely find another outlet for idiocy when crossplay is denied. All that has been accomplished is the limiting of an option for people who had the maturity to enjoy it. That said, if you are going to be running for a completely new group, it's safer to just tell everyone to play their gender until you get a read on how they behave in game.

So, in so many words, no, I don't think it's bad.

[goto124]

Where do you get your players from? A society?

Also, I personally think a gender restriction is... overly restrictive. If it happens rather frequently, maybe you should look for a different source of players? One that less likely to give players who're that immature?

Their behavior, their character sheets, etc could've had red flags. But sometimes not. There's always the 'kick them out' solution...

[Draconium]

While these particular players might pose a problem, I agree with the general opinion that there's nothing wrong with crossplaying inherently. If the players aren't mature enough to handle playing another gender, then don't let them. But don't restrict it from players that are mature enough.

[goto124]

People have banned the Evil alignment, because Evil easily goes into Eating-Babies Evulz (according to their experience, at least).

But... crossplaying? Really?

[TheOOB]

The only answer to the question in the topic is Mu, or simplified, the question is wrong. Playing different gendered characters is neither good nor bad, it simply is. A character can be roleplayed poorly or offensively no matter what gender the character or player is.

That said, I would strong recommend against restricting people against playing genders other than their own. Even ignoring the fact that such restrictions may make this hobby less safe or inclusive to people, the idea that you're going to prevent people from playing 50% of the potential characters they could play is just silly.

If someone is causing problems and being offensive, talk to them about it, and if that doesn't work, don't play with them.

In my personal experience I play male characters 90+% of the time, I'm male, and feel more comfortable playing male characters. That said, a few times I have had a character where I felt I could do something much more interesting as a female character than a male one, so I did so, and it worked out fairly well. Other players in my group are similar to me in such methods, but we have an understanding that if someone is doing something that makes any of us uncomfortable, we just stop and talk it out. We're all mature adults.

[Piedmon_Sama]

There's no problem with it. Although I would have a hard time roleplaying seriously as a woman----I'm a big guy, I have a deep voice---people shouldn't feel discouraged from trying it if they want.

[Kami2awa]

What does this guy do that's a problem?

[Jormengand]

I would have a hard time roleplaying seriously as a woman----I'm a big guy, I have a deep voice

I feel that that's less of a problem when the DM's roleplaying as a dragon.

[Hawkstar]

Where do you get your players from? A society?

Also, I personally think a gender restriction is... overly restrictive. If it happens rather frequently, maybe you should look for a different source of players? One that less likely to give players who're that immature?

Their behavior, their character sheets, etc could've had red flags. But sometimes not. There's always the 'kick them out' solution...

Most people who play offensively-portrayed opposite-gender characters play their own gender just fine (Even around members of the opposite gender).

I feel that that's less of a problem when the DM's roleplaying as a dragon.

Nope. Dragons talk and sound very similar to humans, but maybe with a bit of a reverb. I know it may come as a shock, but they didn't really get real dragons to voice Smaug in The Hobbit or Alduin in Skyrim.

[Jormengand]

Nope. Dragons talk and sound very similar to humans, but maybe with a bit of a reverb. I know it may come as a shock, but they didn't really get real dragons to voice Smaug in The Hobbit or Alduin in Skyrim.

And they didn't get real women to voice or even play women until very recently, but I'm still waiting to hear what your point is. Moreover, I imagine that Smaug was voiced using some kind of funky voice alteration to which the DM of your average game doesn't have access.

[Hawkstar]

And they didn't get real women to voice or even play women until very recently, but I'm still waiting to hear what your point is. Moreover, I imagine that Smaug was voiced using some kind of funky voice alteration to which the DM of your average game doesn't have access.

My point is that we are accustomed to hearing human men and women voice their respective genders. Women have been playing/portraying women far beyond living memory.

They've also had women voicing/playing women in public performance arts for centuries. Just because there was, at one point in time one culture prohibited women performing does not make it a norm we recently crawled out of from the abyss of history.

Outside of comedy, when they do have men voicing women and women voicing men, the actors change their voices in ways many gamers can't.

[Jormengand]

My point is that we are accustomed to hearing human men and women voice their respective genders.

Would it surprise you to know that a lot of boys are voiced by women?

Anyway, that's not the point. In games I've seen, DMs have played:

- An imp with a speech impediment
- A hawk familiar
- An awakened crocodile druid
- Numerous characters of both genders

You have to do that if you're the DM, or else explain why you can't talk to the imp or your goddamned familiar (even though it has a class feature feature that lets you do that) and why everyone who's a different gender from you is suddenly mute. So if it's going to break your immersion for that to happen, then that's a pretty major problem, and if it's not, then why enforce restrictions on your players that don't make sense on the DM?

[Hyena]

That's a very strange question to ask, honestly. Your average role player regularly plays people of different race, different species, diffrenet culture, different religion, diferent moral values, but when the topic comes to playing a different gender, some otherwise reasonable people suddenly begin to ask, if this is an okay thing. The answer to this question is... Well, yes. And it would be very weird, if it wasn't okay. We're role players. Playing people unlike us is pretty much what we do.

There is, of course, That Guy, who wants to play a woman to fulfill his weird fantasies, but that's not a problem of crossplaying specifically - That Guy should be banned from roleplaying in general.

- An awakened crocodile druid

Okay, I just have to know. Did he wildshape into a human?

[Jormengand]

Okay, I just have to know. Did he wildshape into a human?

Oh no: Caiman-sensei taught others about the ways of the crocodiles. No humans could ever be a match for him.

[Hawkstar]

There is, of course, That Guy, who wants to play a woman to fulfill his weird fantasies, but that's not a problem of crossplaying specifically - That Guy should be banned from roleplaying in general.

If you ban everyone who wants to play characters to fulfill wierd fantasies, all you have left are munchkins and rules lawyers. Some people just happen to have different fantasies they want fulfilled, some not appropriate for a typical D&D table. (Though... I think the fantasies you're calling 'weird' may actually be the normal ones when you consider society/people as a whole)

[Knaight]

The situation as described sounds like you're considering banning crossplaying for everyone, because a couple of people apparently can't be trusted with it. I've seen players who shouldn't crossplay (though it's been exceedingly rare, and I honestly should have seen it coming after the words "lesbian nymphomaniac" were in the character description, but I figures that because some people could play a character like that in an entirely reasonable way this person could too), I've also seen plenty of very well played characters who were a different gender than the players. You could probably just ban it from the players in question with no problem.

[PrincessCupcake]

My thoughts on cross-playing have been said more eloquently by others, so I will skip straight to the advice. The people who use their character to act creepy will do so regardless of the character's gender. The unsettling behavior will only stop if you go "Look. I'm not comfortable with the way you guys are behaving. Stop it or find a new DM."

[Comet]

Do we even have to call it crossplaying like it's some kind of Big Exciting Thing? Why not just say 'playing as the opposite gender' or 'playing a woman' or 'playing a man'.

Nitpicking, sure, but we don't call playing a dwarf interraciality or whatever. Most tabletop games don't get intense enough about gender to justify this label, I feel.

[Red Fel]

Do we even have to call it crossplaying like it's some kind of Big Exciting Thing? Why not just say 'playing as the opposite gender' or 'playing a woman' or 'playing a man'.

Nitpicking, sure, but we don't call playing a dwarf interraciality or whatever. Most tabletop games don't get intense enough about gender to justify this label, I feel.

We call it that because it's shorthand. Shorthand is not inherently bad. There are some instances (e.g. netspeak abbreviations) where needless shorthand may cause me to sink into a frothing, chair-throwing rage that can only be sated by painting the walls a soothing shade of red through liberal application of the offender's blood, but generally shorthand is fine.

By way of example, "crossdressing" means "dressing as the opposite sex." It's the shorthand way to say that bundle of words; fewer words and fewer syllables. "Crossplaying" means "playing as the opposite sex;" same thing. It's not "intense," it's shorthand.

[Comet]

We call it that because it's shorthand. Shorthand is not inherently bad. There are some instances (e.g. netspeak abbreviations) where needless shorthand may cause me to sink into a frothing, chair-throwing rage that can only be sated by painting the walls a soothing shade of red through liberal application of the offender's blood, but generally shorthand is fine.

By way of example, "crossdressing" means "dressing as the opposite sex." It's the shorthand way to say that bundle of words; fewer words and fewer syllables. "Crossplaying" means "playing as the opposite sex;" same thing. It's not "intense," it's shorthand.

Yeah, that makes sense. I just personally feel like developing a shorthand for gender play isn't necessary in most tabletop roleplaying. If I sit down at a table and say I'm 'playing as a woman', nobody bats an eye and we probably forget about the character's gender after a couple of hours if we're playing Dungeons & Dragons or other fantasy fighting stuff. If I sit down and say I'm 'crossplaying' then suddenly this is a thing that has an established name to it and as such I might feel that I must do things that justify using that name. And most players then turn to sex because they can't think of anything else that separates men from women in any meaningful fashion.

I'm splitting hairs, I know. I guess what we can all agree to here is that gender doesn't have to be a big deal and if your players don't have anything interesting to say about men or women then just focus on killing orcs or plotting against evil wizards.