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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Welcome, ogne agnd all to the gnignth episode of this illustrious thread series ogn exactly how best to make your DM cry. As usual, we are always willigng to legnd a kignd ear to your frustratiogns ogn thigngs that have beegn baggnned, vetoed or just plaign killed off at your table. Previous threads are listed below:

    1: [Any] Things I may no longer do while playing.
    2: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
    3: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
    4: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
    5: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law
    6: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VI: This Isn't A Checklist We Swear!
    7: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
    8: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?

    Gnote: if you're goigng to use gnumbers, please keep the gnumberigng ign order. This meagns:
    1) dogn't add sub-rules to previous gnumbers--people will thignk that gnumber is the curregnt ogne
    2) look to make sure that the last post isgn't a sub-rule to a previous gnumber

    Asterisks are highly recommegnded, though.

    * May gnot ask if I should've chagnged the titles of the listed threads as well.
    ** Gno, gnot evegn thegn
    Last edited by goto124; 2015-09-09 at 10:02 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    * May gnot play a Tinker Gnome Artificer.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *The Undead Wizard does not cast his Forced Polymorph spell by speaking "Orcus Porcus!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    The Joker is supposed to be a nightmarish figure, the culmination of all things despicable and horrible about mankind. Of course he's a hipster.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Troll in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *May not play a Rock Gnome Bard with an electric guitar run off a generator powered by a Wand of Lightning Bolt.
    **May not reply "What? They're called Rock Gnomes!" when this build is questioned.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    *The Undead Wizard does not cast his Forced Polymorph spell by speaking "Orcus Porcus!"
    ** May not complain when DM punishes that pun by teleporting the party to a certain undead demon lord's boudoir.
    Last edited by FlumphPaladin; 2015-09-09 at 10:47 AM.
    "So can I dual-wield quarterstaves?" - My very first RPG session

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * May gnot play a Tinker Gnome Artificer.
    Sounds kind of redundant to me.


    *A bag of marbles is really no substitute for demonic competence.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  7. - Top - End - #7
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Bard1cKnowledge's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *May play a Hill Dwarf Monk and make him a luchador
    **may not invent the secret language of Luchadorese, which is just posturing and various gestures
    ***May not run up to put the BBEG in a full nelson as to repeatedly headbutt him as an unarmed strike
    ****Definately CAN NOT rip off any helms/hats/hoods/masks from my vanquished foes as a sign of triumph/to huniliate and shame them in the way of the luchador
    Gizmo Stien, Vigilante Scientist
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    Watch as I suffer

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Troll in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *My gnome may not clear the dungeon by taking advantage of the fact that chlorine gas is heavier-than-air and mixing a large batch of acid and bleach near the entrance.

    *My gnomish cleric may not use the Create Water spell to spread the fire from the flask of oil I just threw.

    *My gnome illusionist may not tie 100ft of thin wire to an arrow and use Shocking Grasp to invent either the taser or the detonator.

    *My gnome may not tie 100ft of rope tied to a large stone block to a ballista bolt in order to harpoon a flying enemy and keep them in bow range.
    **My gnome may not build a ballista.

    *There is no gnomish god of explosions.

    *Green slime is not the result of gnomish attempts to design waste-disposal systems.

    *My gnome illusionist may not take advantage of brown mold's incredible propensity for rapid growth when exposed to heat in order to create a piston engine or launcher that runs off the Fire Bolt and Ray of Frost cantrips.

    *My gnome illusionist must actually cast an illusion spell once in a while.

    *Any plan involving magma and a team of gnomish engineers is vetoed.
    **Especially if I got the idea from Dwarf Fortress.
    Last edited by JAL_1138; 2015-09-09 at 12:05 PM.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *Should not be surprised when the elven bard uses her spear as part of her Perform (dance) routine
    **No, that is not how you use Fascinate
    See my Extended Signature for my list of silly shenanigans.

    Anyone is welcome to use or critique my 3.5 Fighter homebrew: The Vanguard.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *May not inhale new thread smell.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here

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    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
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    Are.

  11. - Top - End - #11
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    Lord Raziere's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    * May not through a miscommunication think that our new ally is secretly a villain
    ** Even if the theory why sounds totally plausible.
    *** May not go around trying to make people distrust said new ally.
    **** May not continue thinking the ally is a villain even after original reason why I thought they were villains was disproven on the reasoning that they were playing "the long game."
    ***** Even if they continued to be jerks who kept trying to distort my characters motives.

    * may not greet the second god of the sky we meet as "Storm Dad"
    My Fan Fiction:
    To Catch A Mew
    A Kalos based pokemon fan fic. Now up to Chapter 25! I'm also on discord as "raziere".



  12. - Top - End - #12
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *I should never let my players use bards or wizards or anything with spells or skill points.

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    * May not create a document detailing my tribe's customs and the reasons for them.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Troll in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *When DMing 5e, may not use the 2e version of various slimes and molds, such as Green Slime (instead of damage, turns a creature into more green slime in 1d4 rounds, no save, no resurrection), or Olive Slime (body-and-brain-hijacking parasite, save to notice it attaching to you or eventually turn into a zombie-like creature).

    *May not buy numerous earthen or stone jars and a large number of cattle, use the cattle to feed the puddle of green slime, gather the green slime into the containers, and fire said containers out of trebuchets.
    **May not have access to trebuchets.
    ***May not use Animate Objects on the containers since I can't have trebuchets.
    ****May absolutely not have enemies use this tactic if I'm DMing.
    Last edited by JAL_1138; 2015-09-09 at 12:54 PM.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *May not buy numerous earthen or stone jars and a large number of cattle, use the cattle to feed the puddle of green slime, gather the green slime into the containers, and fire said containers out of trebuchets.
    **May not cause the green slime apocalypse 'because zombies are overdone'.
    Yes, I am slightly egomaniac. Why didn't you ask?

    Free haiku !
    Alas, poor Cookie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fyraltari
    Also this isnít D&D, flaming the troll doesnít help either.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cazero View Post
    **May not cause the green slime apocalypse 'because zombies are overdone'.
    ***If anyone complains with the above, I may not respond by making a wight-pocalypse.
    ****Or ghoul-pocalypse.
    *****Or morhg-pocalypse.
    ******Or lich-pocalypse.
    *******Dracolich-pocalypse is right out.
    Dark Red, the Voice of the Dragon

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    Quote Originally Posted by Quiver View Post
    How much terrain does the forty foot long, flying, fire breathing lizard which may or may not have magic consider its domain?

    As much as it god damn wants.
    Avatar by thoroughlyS

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Orc in the Playground
     
    JohnTheSavage's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    * May not through a miscommunication think that our new ally is secretly a villain
    ** Even if the theory why sounds totally plausible.
    *** May not go around trying to make people distrust said new ally.
    ****May not be the one who started the "they are secretly villains" theory in the party
    *****May not encourage going around and making people distrust said allies
    ******Even if the reasoning was perfectly sound
    *******Come on, who trusts a snake spirit?
    ********Let alone two snake spirits.
    Just "John" is fine.

    Credit to Edwin for the awesome orc avatar.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by Draconium View Post
    ***If anyone complains with the above, I may not respond by making a wight-pocalypse.
    ****Or ghoul-pocalypse.
    *****Or morhg-pocalypse.
    ******Or lich-pocalypse.
    *******Dracolich-pocalypse is right out.
    ******** You do not have to beat a DC 20 perception check to notice that the ninja apocalypse has happened.

    * 'Number of players who have become adepts since starting this campaign' is not the unit of GM ability.
    ** Especially if that is players and not PCs.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    ******** You do not have to beat a DC 20 perception check to notice that the ninja apocalypse has happened.
    *********Of course not, there's no way the DC would be so low.

    *May not make the plot of the game be "Ninjas vs Pirates."
    **Especially if the players are neither ninjas or pirates.
    Dark Red, the Voice of the Dragon

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    Quote Originally Posted by Quiver View Post
    How much terrain does the forty foot long, flying, fire breathing lizard which may or may not have magic consider its domain?

    As much as it god damn wants.
    Avatar by thoroughlyS

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    * No longer allowed to start shipping characters by the first session.
    ** Or the second.

    * Not allowed to make a group of characters that are all lovechildren of my OC ships.
    ** Not even if it's AU.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    Also, as a rule of thumb, if you find yourself defending your inalienable right to make someone else feel like garbage, you're on the wrong side of the argument.
    Currently playing as Atalanta/Artemis in Arcran's Pocket Monsters Online! (OOC|IC)

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Orc in the Playground
     
    JohnTheSavage's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by GrayGriffin View Post
    * No longer allowed to start shipping characters by the first session.
    **May not begin shipping characters during session zero.
    Last edited by JohnTheSavage; 2015-09-09 at 03:09 PM.
    Just "John" is fine.

    Credit to Edwin for the awesome orc avatar.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by GrayGriffin View Post
    * No longer allowed to start shipping characters by the first session.
    ** Or the second.
    Third times the charm?


    Quote Originally Posted by GrayGriffin View Post
    * Not allowed to make a group of characters that are all lovechildren of my OC ships.
    One of the campaigns I'm in actually discussed doing this.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  23. - Top - End - #23
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    One of the campaigns I'm in actually discussed doing this.
    *May not build a campaign where all PC's are the children of a very prolific bard.
    **Said bard cannot be named Dgimi Hen'drx
    ***Said bard's eternal rival cannot be another bard named Crit Kobaign
    ****Cannot have the group discover that the bard was an incubus to explain why they are all different races
    *****Cannot thereafter have the group be contacted by the bard's divine demon/dragon daughter to have them hunt down all his other children
    ******Even if all of this is the Players's idea after hearing about a previous character that the DM played as
    *******Anti-railroading is now defined as "the players forcing the dm to change the plot to suit their new OOC world view"
    Last edited by illyahr; 2015-09-09 at 03:27 PM.
    See my Extended Signature for my list of silly shenanigans.

    Anyone is welcome to use or critique my 3.5 Fighter homebrew: The Vanguard.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *May not open a hot dog stand in the kingdom's capital
    **May not use 2e mustard jelly as a condiment

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by NRSASD View Post
    *May not open a hot dog stand in the kingdom's capital
    **May not use 2e mustard jelly as a condiment
    ***Can't open a chip shop, either.
    ****Batter-fried black pudding is right out.
    Last edited by FlumphPaladin; 2015-09-09 at 03:42 PM.
    "So can I dual-wield quarterstaves?" - My very first RPG session

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    Quote Originally Posted by GPuzzle View Post
    *The Undead Wizard does not cast his Forced Polymorph spell by speaking "Orcus Porcus!"
    ** This is also not how commoners get the Pig Bond flaw.
    Spoiler: Extended Signature
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    Quote Originally Posted by Draconium View Post
    All things considered, the guy whose character attacked a gazebo may have actually had a point...
    Quote Originally Posted by Anlashok View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sideswipe View Post
    ban the problem spells and the problem classes. not the whole book.
    So.. Keep the bard?
    Quote Originally Posted by Story View Post
    The only thing worse than a Beholder with an anti-magic cone is a Beholder without the anti-magic cone.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Baaa, I can think! Baaa, I can't see in the dark!

  27. - Top - End - #27
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    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *I am not to traumatize a member of a peaceful race just by describing the inherent abilities of my own race.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here

    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    * If the players ask me to run an X-Files campaign, I am no longer allowed to wait until the night before to cram together a campaign.
    ** I'm banned from taking a shortcut and using Monster of the Week for my X-Files research materials.
    *** There's only one 'X'. No shipping.
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2015-09-09 at 06:15 PM. Reason: Spelling Abducted by Aliens.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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    Avatar by me - Doc Wagon

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *No longer allowed to make Unexpected Cena jokes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dienekes View Post
    The Joker is supposed to be a nightmarish figure, the culmination of all things despicable and horrible about mankind. Of course he's a hipster.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Bard1cKnowledge's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

    *My Luchador/Monk may not have a dramatic back story
    **The backstory can't have the antagonist be a literal dire bear in a mask
    ***No it can't also be a big hairy guy of a certain persuasion either. Stop asking
    ****No backstories. Period.
    Gizmo Stien, Vigilante Scientist
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    Nuzlocke Twitter feed @Poke_Trainer_J
    Watch as I suffer

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