Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!

[DigoDragon]

* I will no longer trust the absent-minded undead physician when we have a perfectly capable doctor on the team.
** Banned from discussing plans within ear shot of the doctor's ambiguously evil twin.

[JAL_1138]

*If my character has a long-lost twin, we may not have both become True Neutral just so we wouldn't end up in a "good twin vs evil twin" scenario somewhere down the line.

[Anonymouswizard]

* If another player has obviously ripped of a power ranger for his character, mine cannot obviously homage Kamen Riders, down to having the name.
** Especially if, unlike the other player, I know the source material well enough to have the change last several seconds.
*** My transformation trinket cannot be smarter than the party psycic.
**** My transformation trinket cannot be capable of flight, removing the primary disadvantage.
***** Not allowed to gain several times my normal speed in return for becoming fatigued.
****** The fact that my superhero costume is armour cannot let me resist attacks.

[DigoDragon]

*If my character has a long-lost twin, we may not have both become True Neutral just so we wouldn't end up in a "good twin vs evil twin" scenario somewhere down the line.

* My ambiguously evil twin shall not plot to have me shot in his place by a mercenary squad and I shall not plot in return to have him assassinated by my fiance's brother.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not turn a game into a 'evil twin, evil twin' plot.
** If the GM introduces two good quadruplets just to keep the balance, I am doing it wrong.
*** Cannot divide the quadruplets into Lawful Good, Lawful Evil, Chaotic Good, Chaotic Evil.
**** Especially if I'm the CE one.

[DigoDragon]

*** Cannot divide the quadruplets into Lawful Good, Lawful Evil, Chaotic Good, Chaotic Evil.
**** Especially if I'm the CE one.

***** Having one of each alignment does not constitute us being 'The Brady bunch'.

[Hawkstar]

*May not mentally substitute every other line spoken by the Witch Doctor giving us the grim exposition of our quest with "Ooh-Ee-Ooh-Ah-Ah Ting Tang Walla-Walla Bing-bang"
* That is NOT the verbal component of either the Charm Person nor Eagle's Splendor spells.

[JAL_1138]

*May not use identical siblings as a stable of backup characters just so I can keep using the same character sheet.

EDIT:

*May not mentally substitute every other line spoken by the Witch Doctor giving us the grim exposition of our quest with "Ooh-Ee-Ooh-Ah-Ah Ting Tang Walla-Walla Bing-bang"

*The doctor may not tell anyone to put the lime in the coconut to cure an ailment.

[Anonymouswizard]

*May not use identical siblings as a stable of backup characters just so I can keep using the same character sheet.

** My entirely generation of siblings have not gone through life in a long queue, so that when one of us falls the next can take his place.
*** Our descriptions should vary by more than the increasing silliness of our mustaches.

*The doctor may not tell anyone to put the lime in the coconut to cure an ailment.

* My cleric does not need a cup of tea as a material component for Cure Light Wounds.
** Chicken soup is not the material component for Cure Disease.

[DigoDragon]

*The doctor may not tell anyone to put the lime in the coconut to cure an ailment.

** I do not have a bad case of lovin' the doctor.
*** No, there is no pill to cure that.

[goto124]

* May not claim that a certain PC's fiancee has a particularly bad case of it.


*** May not wonder what designs the rings would have.
**** It won't happen till the end of the campaign!
***** You're assuming the PC's clone even survives!
****** Or that he's good at all, instead of being an evil shapeshifter.

* May not repeat a post just because it turned out to be the last post of that page.

[JAL_1138]

*** Our descriptions should vary by more than the increasing silliness of our mustaches.

****Our family is not sent holiday-cards and occasionally provided with bodyguards and VIP lodging by the Barber-Surgeon's Guild and the Guild of Mustache-Wax Manufacturers.

* My cleric does not need a cup of tea as a material component for Cure Light Wounds.
** Chicken soup is not the material component for Cure Disease.

***They do now, and yes it is.

[Rater202]

*I can not tear a rift in time and space for the sole purpose of trapping the Daleks in the Warhammer 40K universe.
**Nor to summon the Daleks to the Warhammer 40K universe.
***Nor can I do either of the above with the Zerg instead.
****I may not force a confrontation between the Zerg and the Tyranids to see who assimilates who.
*****I cannot splice DNA from assorted Zerg organisms into the Ultra Marine Geneseed to quote "Give them something Unique."
******Neither the Nids nor the Zerg want anything the Dalek's have to offer, genetically speaking.

[DigoDragon]

* May not claim that a certain PC's fiancee has a particularly bad case of it.

** My theory may not include the idea that she's hot-blooded.
*** I may not 'check it and see'.
**** Or that she has a fever of 103.
***** No, that doesn't explain how she can walk around in the snow bare-chested without issue.

***** You're assuming the PC's clone even survives!
****** Or that he's good at all, instead of being an evil shapeshifter.

******* Assuming that 'They're all evil shapeshifters' isn't a bad idea. Stabbing them all in the back of the neck to find out if the theory holds kind of is.

[goto124]

* May not add context to the bare-chested thing.

Spoiler: This is the context, don't open it if you want to keep yourself in the dark

Show

** May not state that the PC and his fiancee are both ponies.

*** May not take 5 seconds to realise 103 was in Fahrenheit, not Celsius.
**** May not combine the points above to give a slightly different explanation as to why she can take the chilly snow without wearing much.
***** May never utter the phrase 'she is hot-blooded'.

* Cannot ask if the PC would be into polyamory.

[DigoDragon]

*I can not tear a rift in time and space for the sole purpose of trapping the Daleks in the Warhammer 40K universe.

** Nor can I tear a rift in order to smuggle my daughter outside the dimension to escape a prophesy.
*** If it turns out the prophesy can be thwarted by inter-dimensional travel, then it was probably not a very good prophesy to begin with.
**** If the prophesy gets fulfilled by bureaucratic paperwork instead of the PC heroes, then they probably were not very good PCs to begin with.

***** May never utter the phrase 'she is hot-blooded'.

****** Even if true.

* Cannot ask if the PC would be into polyamory.

Hilariously, that was actually asked of the PC in character.

[Draconium]

*If we are trapped in a labyrinth and we come across a fiend blocking the path, it's all right if we decide to attack him.
**It's not all right if I proceed to eat him alive.
***Even if I rolled a natural 20 on a special attack involving natural weapons, including a bite attack.
****If I have absolutely terrified the halfling (another PC) to the point where he hides behind the other characters when I'm around, I'm doing something horribly wrong.
*****Or horribly right.
******I thought this character was a human?

[goto124]

** May not tell Digo 'I searched the forums but found nothing, any idea about when and where the related posts are, or at least let us know how the conversation went?'
** May not guess that the character asking the question is a PC who wears a tie and whose name starts with V.

* May not ask how people can be found attractive in a text-based PbP.

[Anonymouswizard]

**** If the prophesy gets fulfilled by bureaucratic paperwork instead of the PC heroes, then they probably were not very good PCs to begin with.

***** Unless the entire party are cleric(al worker)s.
****** I cannot play a prophecy clerk.

[DigoDragon]

* May not tell Digo 'I searched the forums but found nothing, any idea about when and where the related posts are, or at least let us know how the conversation went?'

** Banned from locating the specific conversation thread because Goto124 asked. And is a cool being in my book.

* May not ask how people can be found attractive in a text-based PbP.

** No longer allowed to suggest that it helps to have an artist in the group. :3

[JAL_1138]

***** Unless the entire party are cleric(al worker)s.
****** I cannot play a prophecy clerk.

*******Clerics of deities in the Celestial Bureaucracy do not hand out forms (to be filed in triplicate at the temple clerk's office, approved, certified, and returned) before providing healing or buffs.
********Approval does not take 6-8 weeks.

[Anonymouswizard]

*******Clerics of deities in the Celestial Bureaucracy do not hand out forms (to be filed in triplicate at the temple clerk's office, approved, certified, and returned) before providing healing or buffs.
********Approval does not take 6-8 weeks.

********* Clerics of the state do not have all their spells delayed by 3-5 working days.
********** This does not increase to up to 5 years for high priests.

[DigoDragon]

* No longer allowed to let the bard's mother bribe the city police.
** Visiting hours at the prison should not be 'Until the Benjamins run out'.
*** The following conversation topics are banned when visiting prisoners: murdering city mayors, murdering dragons, murdering mayoral dragons, dimensional travel, and the bitterness of a cup of coffee.

[Hawkstar]

*I can not tear a rift in time and space for the sole purpose of trapping the Daleks in the Warhammer 40K universe.
**Nor to summon the Daleks to the Warhammer 40K universe.
***Nor can I do either of the above with the Zerg instead.
****I may not force a confrontation between the Zerg and the Tyranids to see who assimilates who.
*****I cannot splice DNA from assorted Zerg organisms into the Ultra Marine Geneseed to quote "Give them something Unique."
******Neither the Nids nor the Zerg want anything the Dalek's have to offer, genetically speaking.

*Must call the highly-explosive, self-destructive Zerg strain derived from Terran stock "Infested Terrans", not "Terrarisks".

[JAL_1138]

*My hermit-background character is vetoed if, when asked what his discovery is, I hand the DM a copy of Also Sprach Zarathustra.

[DigoDragon]

*My hermit-background character is vetoed if, when asked what his discovery is, I hand the DM a copy of Also Sprach Zarathustra.

** Under no circumstances should this come with a mix tape.

[JAL_1138]

** Under no circumstances should this come with a mix tape.

(Reference to Strauss and/or the 2001 soundtrack which made memorable (and oft-parodied) use thereof, or pop-culture reference I don't recognize?)

***Nor should I play Strauss' composition of the same name whilst proffering the aforementioned Nietzschean tome.

[goto124]

** Banned from locating the specific conversation thread because Goto124 asked. And is a cool being in my book.

*** Cannot offer super-greasy muffins as thanks for the link

** No longer allowed to suggest that it helps to have an artist in the group. :3

* May not make edits out of Digo's art.
** May not mention that I considered adding in another two PCs.
*** Must curb my obsession with editing other people's art.

[DigoDragon]

(Reference to Strauss and/or the 2001 soundtrack which made memorable (and oft-parodied) use thereof, or pop-culture reference I don't recognize?)

Nah, just thought that the idea of having the song on a mix tape was amusing.
(I'm from the 80s)

*** Cannot offer super-greasy muffins as thanks for the link

* May not make edits out of Digo's art.
** May not mention that I considered adding in another two PCs.
*** Must curb my obsession with editing other people's art.

Mmm, muffins. :q

Also, I'll admit that I lol'd at the edits.

[Anonymouswizard]

* When the party cleric prays for guidance they should not hear 'I'm sorry, but all our angels are currently busy, please hold...our god is greater, our god is stronger...your prayer is important to us...'
** Even if the celestial beauracracy has been established.
*** Spells are not cast by filling out celestial paperwork.