The Depression Thread

[Skippy]

Hey, I know it stinks, sometimes all the awful things "stack". They keep coming. I know I'm not physically there, but you can count on me too, Bor

Hope the day ends up better...

[Hoggy]

Hmmm. I have a tricky family too. But I can't really suggest how to deal with it, seeing as ignoring them isn't going too well. I wish I could give a better bit of advice, seeing as what I just said could be interpreted differently in our different ways, considering our different situations.

But I can't think of a lot else to say. I'm not too good at this advice thing. Sorry.

[Khantalas]

Ignoring them works plenty well - as long as you have the money, the contacts, and the courage to get help on your own.

Me, not having any of the three, have to not ignore them.

Ah well. This wasn't about me, was it?

*glomps Bor*

Happy birthday Rob. We know how hard it can be, even if your parents don't. Cause sometimes sane people can be so insane. Talking to people, right.

And if I sound insincere or sarcastic, it's because I suck at conveying emotions. Stupid limited text. *kicks limited text*

[Katonta]

That's it Bor, where do these parents of yours live? Its time we give them a stern talkin' to! I'll bring the chips if everyone else can supply a car that can travel over water in short amounts of time. .

As I said in the other thread, Happy Birthday, Bor! Your family doesn't deserve to be related to someone like you.

[Trog]

Trog Update:
I have made only one major new depression-related breakthrough that I feel the need to pass along...

Excessive Adult Beverages and Depression Medication Do NOT mix well.

Go out. Drink to excess. Arrive home in some taxi. Pass Out. Wake up with hangover. Take meds in morning and go to work... meds increase effect of alcohol and make you inebriated once again... only at work. I... uh... left early.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Thanks, folks. Sometimes the sentiments behind the words work wonders. I'll work on the whole 'be well" part for myself, just as long as you're all doing the same for yourselves and others.

+Rob

[Rex Idiotarum]

@#$% birthdays, besides Christmas, they are the most @#$%ing depressing time of the year.

Don't let them get you down.

[Dr._Weird]

Aww, happy birthday Bor! I hope it gets better.

[AdrianoIank]

Trog Update:
I have made only one major new depression-related breakthrough that I feel the need to pass along...

Excessive Adult Beverages and Depression Medication Do NOT mix well.

Go out. Drink to excess. Arrive home in some taxi. Pass Out. Wake up with hangover. Take meds in morning and go to work... meds increase effect of alcohol and make you inebriated once again... only at work. I... uh... left early.

I´m having sporadic medication to keep anxiety and stress at a workable level (stress have blown up through the roof, straight into Mars. Got uncomfortably close to a heart attack again ).
I made the mistake of mixing hard alcohol with it this weekend (saturday lunchtime, up to 2 PM). Got conscience back sunday, around 9:00 AM. With a hangover fit for Dionysus.
So, yes, I concur. Alcohol does not mix well with psychiatric medication.

For Bor: I cannot say much, just that you have my sympathy, and I hope your relatives will eventually understand you. I really hope. Nobody deserves something like that.

[Narmoth]

Bor, I think I really would like to meet your father and advice him to make a career in medicine. Just imagine him as a doctor:

A person lies on the ground after an axident, status: unconsious and not breathing.
Doctor "dad of bor" arrives
Looks at the patient on the ground and says, while holding his smoke in one hand and making lectionning gestures with the other:
What's wrong with you? Can't you just breathe as everybody else? It's not that hard, I do it all the time!
Looks at the patient (jepp, the unconsious and not breathing one. He has 7/10th of oxygen reserve left.
Hey, are you listenning at all? I said that you should breathe! So why aren't you doing it! It's for your own ******* good! Is this some childish show of will or something?
6/10th of oxygen reserve left.
Well, if you aren't willing to do things for yourself, I'm sertainly won't do them for you.
So you better start breathing, you ***** *******, for I'm sertainly won't be breathing for you.
Doctor "dad of bor" leaves.
The patient has 5 minutes of oxygen left before imminent death. Brain damage will start in a minute.
If you wan't to give this a happy ending, you can tell yourself that a paramedic arrived and started artificial respiartion.

Well, this was a little long, but I think everyone get's the point and a laugh.

[Eldpollard]

I am not a person who generally feels depressed, quite often I don't feel happy either though. At the moment however I have been feeling depressed.

A friend of mine died on Sunday, the details of his death I won't go into but it has hit us all rather hard. This death has caused me to really evaluate life, he died at 19 and has really shown me how fragile life is and has caused me to evaluate mine. It has seemed lacking.

It feels as though I'm not really living my life, instead I'm merely existing, going day to day the same repetitive task, there's nothing that makes me feel alive. I need to do something with my life so that it's more than just banality. We don't know how long we have to live so I feel I should make the most of it, at the moment I am not. If I were to die what would I have to show for me existence?

This coupled with the grief of the death has not left me in the best of sorts. My thoughts are with his family.

[Thes Hunter]

Not sure about the hospital part...I think I'll consider it, when this here takes longer.
Oh, and no, the pain is not related. I kind of know it, I have it every time. It's psychosomatic or something, the mental pain seems to manifest itself physically. Eating doesn't help. Not eating, up to the point where the hunger gets painful, does help. Odd but true.

Have you considered that this not eating helping the pain go away might actually have a physical origin, and not a pychosomatic one?

Like that you might have a problem with the muscles in your intestine not moving food, or a paracite, or some other issue not related to depression?

I would certainly ask your primary care doctor about it, and see if they want to refer you to a GI specialist.

One birthday turned to crap, coming right up!

I knew the call would be coming. I knew my father would call to wish me a "happy birthday." In the process, I knew he'd manage to make some kind of comment that would make me feel like garbage. What I didn't know was that it would turn into a tearful plea for him to come to grips with the fact that I. AM. SICK!

He really poured it on this time, reminding me that I'm alive 40 years and have nothing to show for it. No girlfriend, wife, children, job, money, etc. He chose TODAY to remind me that a college degree in absolutely nothing. And when I try to explain that these things are not easy for me, he wants to know what's so damned hard. To quote him, "You just go out and do it."

That set me off.

"When are you and the rest of the family going to understand that I'm mentally ill? I'm afraid to go out and meet people! I'm not just afraid of getting hurt again; I'm TERRIFIED! A day when I go out to get food at the market is a day of bravery for me. But my entire family seems to think I'm faking all of this.

If only we had the power to walk a mile in each other shoes. All War and suffering would end.

I am sorry Bor, that your family does not give you the support you require.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

It should be noted that, despite my father's efforts to make yet another birthday a crappy event, certain parties have evendevoured to make it otherwise. The two of note: Lord Herman and Narmoth.

LH has given me a kind of coupon for one free avatar of my choice, which, as we know, is highly prized here on GitP.

Narmoth did something very much unexpected. He e-mails me an MP3 file of some blues music he recorded just for little old me. And suddenly, my life is like a credit card commercial.

Computer bought when you had money: $1800.
Internet service per month: $21.99.
Hours spent surfing the net for humans with brains: Endless.
Finding friends who care that much, despite living thousands of miles away: Priceless.
For some things in the world, there's Mastercard. For everything else, there's Giant in the Park.

[Alarra]

Aww, that's sweet. And makes me smile
I love the people here. Hmm...*notices that she seems to be saying that a lot lately, not that it makes it any less true or anything...*

[Serpentine]

Well, Bor, at least you can find comfort in the fact that you live in the state with the coolest name in the WORLD.
I can understand that it'd be frustrating for your dad if he doesn't quite get what you're going through. Still, it doesn't exactly sound like he's trying to get it, and having a go at you on your birthday seems pretty damn harsh
>hugses! Also a comforting pat on the shoulder<

Alarra: Don't worry, the awww-gas will wear off eventually, and everything will be back to its sarcastic normal

[The Great Skenardo]

Alarra: Don't worry, the awww-gas will wear off eventually, and everything will be back to its sarcastic normal

However, it won't be for about two months.


(Cookie for the unfortunate soul who gets the pun.)

[Starla]

Today I got to start seeing my therapist. I hope my husband makes an appointment with his soon. He is nervous about therapy because he has never done it before. I was trying to explain how it should work and I realized the best way to explain it today.

A good therapist will help you:

Think about the things you think about in order to improve your thinking.

Really she let me ramble on a lot, but she asked my questions that directed my focus not on my thoughts, but what my thoughts were about and how I was feeling. The thing is that my husband sees me crying and doesn't know why and when I try to tell him it doesn't work. He thinks I am sad. The truth is I am frustrated. When I thought about all the things that I think about when I cry, it is feelings of frustration not sadness that overcome me. Anyway, I told her I just needed someone to talk to let my frustration out, but I don't want to hurt my relationship with my husband or someone else who knows him to judge him from my feelings.

I do have hope that things will work out for us. I hope he will do his part to make it happen. It is frustrating to wait though.

[Quincunx]

Pen and paper, Starla. Keyboard and screen. Spoken words are choked off when the breath is diverted into tears; the written words wait. The paper will send you into tears again. Don't burn it, don't delete, don't let those words get choked off in ways you could control.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I'm leaving behind the great class i'm in.
there are a few options :
1 I will go to another school,but still go to next class(from 1 to 2),which sucks becouse I am in a really great class,that is great for myself and I wont get to see them anymore,the girl I like is in that class to.
2 I will do class over again,I will be in a diffrent class,I will see my 'old' classmates steadily,though not as much then. But There will be an age gap with some of my 'new class' around 3 a 4 years.

And a few other ones,but they are very,very small....

just needed to get this out......

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

I'm leaving behind the great class i'm in.
there are a few options :
1 I will go to another school,but still go to next class(from 1 to 2),which sucks becouse I am in a really great class,that is great for myself and I wont get to see them anymore,the girl I like is in that class to.
2 I will do class over again,I will be in a diffrent class,I will see my 'old' classmates steadily,though not as much then. But There will be an age gap with some of my 'new class' around 3 a 4 years.

And a few other ones,but they are very,very small....

just needed to get this out......

DK, I understand where you are and what you're feeling to my own extent. You see, there's a part of my high school years that I have, essentially, blocked out. But I spent 9th and 10th grade in a special education school because of all my hospitalizations for diabetes. There was simply no way for me to keep up, so someone had the goofy idea that a slower learning pace might be better for me.

Alas, the teaching rate was very, very, VERY slow. The teachers would spend a week giving a lesson that I'd picked up on day one. My new educational issue beacme taking naps in class. The staff didn't like that.

I was sent back to the public school system here in the States, but the education rate at the other school left me behind my peers. Thus, I repeated the 10th grade.

It was awkward at first. I'd see friends my age that were a year ahead of me in terms of schooling, and I managed to feel shame. The funny thing was, NO ONE brought it up. I was the only one bringing on the negative feelings about what had gone on. Instead, they brought up all of the petty concerns that affect teenagers; the very concerns that mean nothing the moment you graduate and everyone goes their separate ways.

No matter what choice you make, you will deal with the pettiness. If you go with your first option, you will technically start with a clean slate in every regard. Number two offers the chance to stay in touch with your friends easier, and if they are TRUE friends, they won't care about your class repetition. Personally, I'd go with choice two, as I wouldn't have to go through the social fuss of making new friends.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I'm going to a new school now.
On the bright side,ehm difficult to explain....Well I'l explain it this way :

I'm going from gymnasium 1 to Havo 2(class 2), The first classes were divided into : havo/vwo and havo/vmbo,so my class will be made of two different ehm sections,so not everybody will know eachother.......

My (old) classmates made me a map with that they'l miss me and stuff,that was really nice of them

[I'm da Rogue!]

I want my exams to end. NOW.

[sktarq]

I'm going to a new school now.
On the bright side,ehm difficult to explain....Well I'l explain it this way :

I'm going from gymnasium 1 to Havo 2(class 2), The first classes were divided into : havo/vwo and havo/vmbo,so my class will be made of two different ehm sections,so not everybody will know eachother.......:

Okay I'll bite. What is Havo 2, vwo, and ehm mean?

[Namaste123]

I need advice here. My stepmother is stealing things from me and damaging my stuff, and I don't know how to deal with it.

[The Great Skenardo]

I need advice here. My stepmother is stealing things from me and damaging my stuff, and I don't know how to deal with it.

I assume you're absolutely certain it's her...

A few quick questions to shape our advice;
how much can you rely on your father/ other guardian to believe you if you told him/her?
Any idea why she's stealing from you? (i.e. she hates your guts/has gambling problem/whatever)
Are you living at home, or away at University?
How well did you and she get along prior to this, and how long has it been going on?
What kind of things stolen/broken? just money? personal effects?

This sounds like a real problem, but also one that has to be handled carefully.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

I need advice here. My stepmother is stealing things from me and damaging my stuff, and I don't know how to deal with it.

My solution involves a sturdy chair, 50' of nylon rope, a gallon of gasoline...

Oh, wait...We're here to help address and relieve mental health issues...Not help them along. Never mind, then.

[Thes Hunter]

I need advice here. My stepmother is stealing things from me and damaging my stuff, and I don't know how to deal with it.

I completely agree with the Great Skenado, and well, Bor as well... including that it's not a realistic solution.

But key question is why, and what can you do to secure your items.

It is likely that your father won't believe you. It might even be happening to him, and people who steal tend to also be very manipulative to cover for their activity and bringing suspicion on others.

For this reason you should be absolutely sure that it is your stepmother, and not someone else who is causing the problem. And know that when you try to talk to others about it, you might be trying to bring suspicion on yourself, since the person who doing it, is trying to shift blame from themselves. They will use the fact that those are stealing do try to shift blame by implicating you, since you are making accusations. They will never make as much as a direct accusation, but will try to plant the idea in other peoples head that someone else is doing the stealing.

For example, You might say out loud "Wow it looks like money is missing from my wallet." There response is "You too?! Who could it be." and they will let you supply the answer.

Also remember whoever is stealing may try to set other people up for the fall for their behavior. So again I say be very careful trying to discuss this with others. It is going to cause a lot of suspicion between you and everyone else in the house, and isn't good for anyone.

But figuring out exactly how to deal with the situation is tied to finding out why the person is doing it, is it gambling?, Drugs?, jealousy?

But that will take time. For now try to secure your items the best you can. And if anyone questions why you are securing your items, and makes some sort of stink about it, and says anything along the lines of "Ohh... if you are protecting your stuff from being stolen, you must be a thief, because only thieves think like thieves." It's messed up logic, but I have seen it before used by the thieves to direct attention from themselves, and put blame on you. But that line of reasoning is a good sign that you have found the real thief.

[Dea_al_Mon]

I think a direct confrontation (with witnesses, of course) would be the best bet, once you are sure beyond doubt that it was her. If you were to be wrong, it would be...embarrassing. But if you play the cards right, during the confrontation you can get her backed into a verbal corner where the "explanations/excuses" start to unravel and trip on each other. After that, the fun begins!

[DarkLightDragon]

@Namaste123: I don't have anything to add, but the other posts contain good advice.

Anyway, I start meds soon... bit nervous about it...

[Katonta]

Anyway, I start meds soon... bit nervous about it...

You have a reason to be nervous, as meds can be a pretty scary thing when you go on them for the first time. All you need to do is trust the pharmacist that hir will do hir best to make sure that you get the meds you need, same thing for your doctor and psychiatrist, if you have one.

Also, DLD, I recently bought City of Heroes:Good vs. Evil Edition, and if your ever on Virtue, drop me a line, maybe you could help me or something.