The Depression Thread

[DarkLightDragon]

Also, DLD, I recently bought City of Heroes:Good vs. Evil Edition, and if your ever on Virtue, drop me a line, maybe you could help me or something.

If I had that game...

[Narmoth]

I need advice here. My stepmother is stealing things from me and damaging my stuff, and I don't know how to deal with it.

If you can put a webcamera or something in the room, so you have proof, this would be easier. I suggest confronting her when you have solid proof.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Y'know, I honestly don't know how I do it. I think that, given a million dollars, I could dig a financial hole that is exceptionally deep.

Allow me to explain. With all of my medical issues after surgery, I found myself spending far more than I'd thought I could. For a guy who goes nowhere and does almost nothing to start with, spending money isn't easy. Especially when there's no money to start with.

Ah, but I met a saint. This saint was a philanthropic individual who would actually send me money via a PayPal account, as long as I could justify the spending. Over four or five months, this person sent me close to $2000! I mean, that's a STUNNING amount of money, and I cry every time I think of what this person has done for me. Just when I thought this person's help would get me in the green, I landed in the red by needing MORE medical supplies.

At last, I'm on the road to being almost completely healed. Still, I'm playing catch-up. I overdrew my checking account by $336 last month. But the third arrived and my direct deposit paid that off. I paid my rent with the very last of my money, including a wee bit of birthday money...and was left with nothing. No worries...I'll just overdraw again to get my needs, but keep it lower than $200. I was thinking I may even have to overdraw next month to continue getting back toward my normal spending habits...

Nope. Overdrawn by a mere $100, the bank has shut me down. I went to buy food and medications yesterday, and I was denied all purchases. I called the bank and asked why. I mean, they let me be a bad boy before, and they are ALWAYS paid by the third of ever month via direct deposit. And they make money off me with every purchase! $35 per overdraw. Did they not want extra money from me? When I told them what I was using the money for, they basically shrugged (over the phone) and said, "Sorry about that."

*sigh*

Wanna see me sink, and sink fast? Give me money issues. Meds or no meds, I feel like my life is going down the toilet at a rapid rate. I tend to panic, need more meds, etc. when I get like this. And with all the help I've received, I also feel shame.

Yeah...I'm in a bad place right now. And my apolgies if this seems like whining, but I needed to vent.

[The Great Skenardo]

You've got a good friend and a sponsor in this person, indeed. The plain fact of it is that you can't really be held to blame for your own medical needs; if you did that, you'd be acting precisely like your father tends to do (and we know that ain't right).

You've got my sympathy on your financial woes, definitely; when you can't hold down a job because of expensive medical problems, money's gonna be tight.

Good luck getting things together.

-TGS

[jazz1m]

Overdrawn by a mere $100, the bank has shut me down. I went to buy food and medications yesterday, and I was denied all purchases. I called the bank and asked why. I mean, they let me be a bad boy before, and they are ALWAYS paid by the third of ever month via direct deposit. And they make money off me with every purchase! $35 per overdraw. Did they not want extra money from me? When I told them what I was using the money for, they basically shrugged (over the phone) and said, "Sorry about that."

Don't know if this is possible or not, but have you heard of prosper.com? Basically if you have the need, real people will lend money out to you. Of course you have to return it (it's still a loan) but it'll help you pay off whatever bills you need, etc. and help get you back on your feet. I don't know how easy or hard it is to set up, but maybe you could check it out?

In terms of advice, I don't really have a lot. It's hard to keep yourself in the green when you do have a lot of medical payments and have to pay for meds, which is why the US health system sucks. I guess I can't get into a full on rant since it'll be political, but suffice it to say that the US government doesn't take care of the people that need to be taken care of. I know people who don't go to the hospital or need to decide whether to call an ambulance or not because they can't afford to...and that in itself is very sad.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Oh...my...G-d!

"What's that, Bor? You're inhured? Hey, let's add some insult!"

I have ONE luxury. I play World of Warcraft these days. $14.99 a month really doesn't make a serious dent in my non-existent finances, and I don't have cable, a cell phone, or even an energy-draining microwave. So I'm overdrawn and my bank won't let me buy food...but apparently they WILL pay for my online game?!?

As I'm staring at this unbelievable occurrance online, my father calls. Not thinking very clearly, I told him about what had come to pass. Was there an offer to help? Nope. Was there any helpful suggestions? Nope. His sage advice was, "You have to get your finances in order." That was it. Like I didn't already have this nugget of information. I'd like to see him receive $700/month, pay $450 rent, and then see how his finances do.

I'm in some kind of financial Twilight Zone.

[Namaste123]

I completely agree with the Great Skenado, and well, Bor as well... including that it's not a realistic solution.

But key question is why, and what can you do to secure your items.

It is likely that your father won't believe you. It might even be happening to him, and people who steal tend to also be very manipulative to cover for their activity and bringing suspicion on others.

For this reason you should be absolutely sure that it is your stepmother, and not someone else who is causing the problem. And know that when you try to talk to others about it, you might be trying to bring suspicion on yourself, since the person who doing it, is trying to shift blame from themselves. They will use the fact that those are stealing do try to shift blame by implicating you, since you are making accusations. They will never make as much as a direct accusation, but will try to plant the idea in other peoples head that someone else is doing the stealing.

For example, You might say out loud "Wow it looks like money is missing from my wallet." There response is "You too?! Who could it be." and they will let you supply the answer.

Also remember whoever is stealing may try to set other people up for the fall for their behavior. So again I say be very careful trying to discuss this with others. It is going to cause a lot of suspicion between you and everyone else in the house, and isn't good for anyone.

But figuring out exactly how to deal with the situation is tied to finding out why the person is doing it, is it gambling?, Drugs?, jealousy?

But that will take time. For now try to secure your items the best you can. And if anyone questions why you are securing your items, and makes some sort of stink about it, and says anything along the lines of "Ohh... if you are protecting your stuff from being stolen, you must be a thief, because only thieves think like thieves." It's messed up logic, but I have seen it before used by the thieves to direct attention from themselves, and put blame on you. But that line of reasoning is a good sign that you have found the real thief.

Well, I am ABSOLUTELY sure it's her, and I have no clue why. It's stuff she can't even sell, like the reciever for my wireless mouse, but she left the mouse. I can't get any solid proof though.

[The Great Skenardo]

Well, I am ABSOLUTELY sure it's her, and I have no clue why. It's stuff she can't even sell, like the reciever for my wireless mouse, but she left the mouse. I can't get any solid proof though.

If you have a webcam, you can set it to monitor your room, at least. Have you tried asking her where your stuff is? I'm not suggesting accusing her right out at the moment, but rather that you ask if she knows where your wireless reciever went, for example. If so, what does she say?

[Alarra]

Bor....
You play WoW? I thought you played CoH.....hmm

(granted that is not at all the point of your post, and sorry it was the part that happened to jump out at me)

I'm sorry Bor. Financial difficulties always throw me into really bad days too. And money is really hard to manage well.

I'd have to think that there's some way around medical expenses for people that can't afford them. But having never had a major medical expense that wasn't covered by insurance, I haven't looked into them. It's something you might want to do though.

*hug* It's really nice that you've got a benefactor to help you out though at times. *sighs, wishing I had any extra money of my own so that I could help you out too.*

Hmm.....speaking of money problems.....due to the complete lack of getting anything at all from my family for my birthday....maybe I can talk them into buying my plane ticket to gencon...that would sure help a lot. (sorry, random aside of thoughts in my head) And no...I guess I got something from them. A cinderella figurine (which I didn't want), and a small makeup mirror (which I gave back), and oh...a cute dress (which was on clearance, and I would have gotten even if it hadn't been my birthday)....I think they forgot about it truthfully and these are things they just happened to have picked up at an auction and would have given me anyway...in any case, not on par with what I usually expect from my parents on birthdays. [/end ramble]

[Namaste123]

If you have a webcam, you can set it to monitor your room, at least. Have you tried asking her where your stuff is? I'm not suggesting accusing her right out at the moment, but rather that you ask if she knows where your wireless reciever went, for example. If so, what does she say?

I don't have a webcam, and I have asked her, all she says is no, and leaves the room right after I ask.

[The Great Skenardo]

Is it possible for you to lock your room when you leave? And if she can't sell whatever it is that's missing, do you ever see any of those things again?

[Namaste123]

Is it possible for you to lock your room when you leave? And if she can't sell whatever it is that's missing, do you ever see any of those things again?

It is possible for me to lock my room, but then that would raise suspicion around my house, as in, "What's he hiding?", or something of that nature. I have never seen any of the stolen things ever again.

[The Great Skenardo]

It is possible for me to lock my room, but then that would raise suspicion around my house, as in, "What's he hiding?", or something of that nature. I have never seen any of the stolen things ever again.

May I ask...who else is in the house? You, your father and your stepmother?
Surely you've complained to your father that some of your stuff is missing?

[Namaste123]

May I ask...who else is in the house? You, your father and your stepmother?
Surely you've complained to your father that some of your stuff is missing?

Me, my father, my stepmother, and my 2 sisters. I have mentioned it, and he doesn't believe me.

[Alarra]

Why don't you just tell people...."I'm not hiding anything, just making sure that no more of my stuff walks off" and lock the door.

I mean, frankly, I'd rather have people think my behavior is slightly suspicious than have to worry about all my stuff being taken.

[jazz1m]

Oh...my...G-d!

"What's that, Bor? You're inhured? Hey, let's add some insult!"

I hope that wasn't directed to me, but to your dad and your bank letting you play WoW...if it was me, sorry!

And yeah, that is weird about the bank...maybe since it's on a recurring cycle the charge was able to go through for some reason...

[Namaste123]

Why don't you just tell people...."I'm not hiding anything, just making sure that no more of my stuff walks off" and lock the door.

I mean, frankly, I'd rather have people think my behavior is slightly suspicious than have to worry about all my stuff being taken.

Yeah, that's my view on it as well, however, my dad would decide to figure out who it is, leading to the conclusion that it's my stepmother. As much as it pains me to say this, my dad needs my stepmother, for help with parenting and money management, and just plain watching the children. So if he breaks up with her, my life is royally screwed until I move out.

[The Great Skenardo]

Yeah, that's my view on it as well, however, my dad would decide to figure out who it is, leading to the conclusion that it's my stepmother. As much as it pains me to say this, my dad needs my stepmother, for help with parenting and money management, and just plain watching the children. So if he breaks up with her, my life is royally screwed until I move out.

Hm. Then maybe endure a little suspicion and lock your room?

[Namaste123]

Hm. Then maybe endure a little suspicion and lock your room?

Yeah. Thanks for the advice.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Bor....
You play WoW? I thought you played CoH.....hmm

(granted that is not at all the point of your post, and sorry it was the part that happened to jump out at me)

*snip*

Actually, Alarra, I did play CoH. But it's one or the other, never both. Both cost about $15/month, and I'll only spend that much to play a game...certainly not $30. (My global, for those who play CoH and are interested, is "Adjective Noun".) Alas, I'm not playing that game right now. My game for the time being is WoW.

Mayhap I'll alternate games from month to month in the future. Y'know...live on the edge...push the envelope...take risks no mortal man would contemplate...

Yeah...My life is truly an adventure.

[Trog]

Trog Update:

These meds aren't working as well as they once did.

This happened to me with my last medication that I was on. I took it. It helped. The effect started fading. They upped the dose, same thing but more bad side effects. So much so I decided to switch. Now the good effects of these are fading too. *sigh*

Has anyone had any experience like this and what did you do about it? I plan to talk to my doctor about it but I am looking for advice from those who have been through it if possible.

[Alarra]

Well, over time the body does develop a tolerance to any substance, thus requiring higher dosages to get the same effect. This is true with many medications, among other things. There's probably no way to combat that aside from upping dosages and/or changing brands.

[EmeraldRose]

@ Trog...this has happened with my migraine meds. I've been through three different cycles of meds since I started being treated for migraine, and I see the neurologist next week (a new doc) and the first thing I will tell her after a lengthy history explanation will be that I believe my meds have lost their effectiveness....again!

It's either time for new meds, or time for a new type of treatment. I've become accustomed to this as part of my condition.

With long-term meds of any type, for any condition, I think this is a part of life. Talk to your doctor and try not to give up hope.

*hugs*

[PhoeKun]

Trog Update:

These meds aren't working as well as they once did.

This happened to me with my last medication that I was on. I took it. It helped. The effect started fading. They upped the dose, same thing but more bad side effects. So much so I decided to switch. Now the good effects of these are fading too. *sigh*

Has anyone had any experience like this and what did you do about it? I plan to talk to my doctor about it but I am looking for advice from those who have been through it if possible.

You will find, I'm afraid, that this will be a recurring trend. The good news is that it does tend to work in a loop of sorts, and a return to an older medication at some point will produce renewed results. However, it is also possible that your body will simply develop a resistance to drugs in general, to the point where most anything will have difficulty affecting you, at least in the doses doctors seem comfortable prescribing.

The most important thing you can do is keep communicating with your doctor. Keep him posted on your condition, tell him how the medications are working, and above all, make sure he's writing everything down. It won't help you come to grips with the constant need for medication (although if it helps, I can vicariously sympathize with your situation through my mother), but it will prevent the situation from deteriorating into something much worse: you being labeled as "drug seeking".

Aside from that, I think ER has the right idea. Don't despair, o Troglodyte! Remember the other parts of your life. Those are pretty good, right?

[SMEE]

I'm... feeling down right now.

There was a major aircrash in Sao Paulo, Brazil.
At least 200 people might have died, and for what I know, there might be two friends of my brother among the victims, and a few people I know as well.

What worries me the most is that no official list was released, so we're currently unaware of the situation of our friends.
Hopefully, they'll be alive and well.

[SDF]

I'm... feeling down right now.

There was a major aircrash in Sao Paulo, Brazil.
At least 200 people might have died, and for what I know, there might be two friends of my brother among the victims, and a few people I know as well.

What worries me the most is that no official list was released, so we're currently unaware of the situation of our friends.
Hopefully, they'll be alive and well.

Yeah, that crash is terrible. My dad used to fly in and out of that airport all the time when he was working in Brazil. I can only hope your friends are okay, but I feel horrible for anyone that was on that plane.

[Yiel]

Trog, are all these meds you have tried within the same chemical branch? (SSRIs etc). Sometimes, switching to another branch of meds can actually prolong their effectiveness. (The transition period is not so fun though ). One of my close friends was having this issue, but has now been on the same one (same dose too) for almost a year and has not found any issues with it. Her time jumping from med to med was quite messy though, and I spent many nights in those few years keeping watch over her.

Hopefully the addition of the natural therapy called "Thes-hugs" will help just that little bit more no matter what you decide.



/hugs for SMEE. I hope your friends are safe.

[Trog]

Trog, are all these meds you have tried within the same chemical branch? (SSRIs etc). Sometimes, switching to another branch of meds can actually prolong their effectiveness. (The transition period is not so fun though ). One of my close friends was having this issue, but has now been on the same one (same dose too) for almost a year and has not found any issues with it. Her time jumping from med to med was quite messy though, and I spent many nights in those few years keeping watch over her.

Hopefully the addition of the natural therapy called "Thes-hugs" will help just that little bit more no matter what you decide.

Yes they are all from the same branch (SSRIs) And the transition wasn't that bad from one to the other. Not like starting to take SSRIs. And yeah I don't think I would much enjoy coming down off of these completely and then waiting for the new batch to kick in. Though that may be a step I need to take in the future.

Hearing that this is a cycle in other meds is good to know. So I suppose I can clycle between different drugs if I need to. As long as they keep working, I'm fine with it. Er... without the side effects.

TMI on Side Effect Ahead. Read at your own risk.

Spoiler

Show

Okay my specific issue with the first batch of meds I went on was that it... er... made me... er... last too long in the sack. My doc (who looks like Jimmy Kimmel I swear) was suprised that this caused a "problem." But... well see it wasn't a problem before so... er... *kicks rock with toe* yeah... anyways Citalopram is also used for erectile dysfunction. Which I didn't have... and then had the... er... opposite problem. Aaaaaaaaanyways. Yeah. Citalopram baaaaad. Unless you have E.D. in which case I can attest that that stuff works.

And I'm trying not to despair. Though some days are very very tough.

Thes-hugs are indeed a miracle cure for most things. <3

[Katonta]

If I had that game...

Hubuduh... Zubuduh... Hubu Wait, this is getting me no where, talking in gibberish like this. Oh well, I could have sworn you had either CoH or CoV. Well, let me move on to my next topic.

I'm... feeling down right now.
There was a major aircrash in Sao Paulo, Brazil.
At least 200 people might have died, and for what I know, there might be two friends of my brother among the victims, and a few people I know as well.

What worries me the most is that no official list was released, so we're currently unaware of the situation of our friends.
Hopefully, they'll be alive and well.

Wow... and to think, the only thing big that's happened around here was a huge Brush(Wild?)fire that had my Dad called in at 9:00 PM even though it was about 1 hour to 1 and a half hours away. He'll be on call for 72 hours Straight! The good news is, that's 72 hours of straight overtime at about 45$/hour on top of the 20 hours he's already got. I hope your friends and your Brother's friends get out safely.

Rats, I was hoping to end this on a funny mark, but I got nothing.

Edit: Aha! I defy the lack of a Multiquote button! I am teh Ub3r L337!

[Alleine]

Its nighttime... thats kinda bad for me. I stay awake longer each night for no reason I can think of, and nighttime has adverse affects on me. It ignores my meds a lot of the time.

*curses inability to help other people on the boards*
All of you have worse stuff going on than some minor depression issues, I'm hoping it can all be fixed soon. Wish I could do more.

For what its worth, *hugs all around*

This board rocks my world.