The Depression Thread

[DarkLightDragon]

Hubuduh... Zubuduh... Hubu Wait, this is getting me no where, talking in gibberish like this. Oh well, I could have sworn you had either CoH or CoV. Well, let me move on to my next topic.

I have WoW. Just noticed Bor's post saying he has it too.

I *really* wish I could be more helpful right now.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Trog Update:

These meds aren't working as well as they once did.

This happened to me with my last medication that I was on. I took it. It helped. The effect started fading. They upped the dose, same thing but more bad side effects. So much so I decided to switch. Now the good effects of these are fading too. *sigh*

Has anyone had any experience like this and what did you do about it? I plan to talk to my doctor about it but I am looking for advice from those who have been through it if possible.

Trog, I don't recall anyone experiencing anything like what you're describing. Not at the rate you are, anyway. But I may have a clue as to what's going on, and I ask that you correct me if I'm off.

I take Zoloft. There reaches a point when all is well, I'm not happy, but not depressed...and then I become forgetful. I start missing doses, and before I know it, I'm off them completely and have to start taking them from scratch. I have to work my way up to the proper dosage. As I do so, I ride a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I'm up; I'm down; I'm neutral...I'm all over the danged place as my brain adjusts to the proper chemical levels. Because it takes four to six weeks to get me to the right dose, I can tell you it's just loads of fun.

I'm wondering if something similar isn't happening to you. You start the meds. Your brain does an emotional jig. And once your brain has adjusted, it says, "Nah...I don't like this one." Then you're off to try a new medication.

You also need to remember that medication alone doesn't do the trick. Think of the medications as a pair of crutches that are needed to help you get walking again. Once you're up and about, you can do those things you were incapable of doing without the meds. You may need therapy, as well.

Circumstances also play a part. Your recent adventures with Thes can't have been happy ones. I don't know what else is going on in your life, but these things will conspire against the meds. (See posts one and two of the last three I made here to see mine.) "Happy pills" don't make you obliviously happy...they usually just help to make you not be depressed all the time.

Also - and I'm completely unsure about this on your part - but alcohol and psych meds simply DO NOT mix. As far as I know, even a relaxing beer at the end of a hard day's work can mess up the works. If you drink, even casually, stop it.

That's all I got. Hope it helped.

[smellie_hippie]

It might also be pertinent to remember the following information as well.

Psychotropic medications which reduce depressive symptoms, also lower some of the euphoric/happy feelings. What you're getting is kinda like getting off the crazy wild roller-coaster with multiple loops, and settling back down into a more comfortable ride. It still has it's ups and downs, but you know the brakes work.

[DarkLightDragon]

It might also be pertinent to remember the following information as well.

Psychotropic medications which reduce depressive symptoms, also lower some of the euphoric/happy feelings. What you're getting is kinda like getting off the crazy wild roller-coaster with multiple loops, and settling back down into a more comfortable ride. It still has it's ups and downs, but you know the brakes work.

And the side effects don't take very long to kick in.

Started meds this morning. Felt a bit funny for a while, but I knew that was coming. I'm already finding it much easier to think of and keep positive thoughts.

[Ego Slayer]

Nothing much at all. Just something that caught me off guard, today.

Spoiler

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A certain family member pointed out the fact I'd failed to make eye contact when I should have. Grocery store, we "know" this one guy who works there because he's been there a long time, he'd handed me something. Appropriate response: Look at him, smile, say "thanks," blahblah... Mine: Say nothing, look at the floor, or my hand, or a random object behind him. I was gotten down on because it, apparently, came off as "rude."

Somehow "I can't even make eye contact with my friends!" does nothing in my defence.

[Rex Idiotarum]

You think that's bad? Today, I ran an order out to someone who was getting really impatient. I hand him his food, and I go to hand him his receipt, and he just ignores it, looking at his food. After standing there for about a minute, I toss the receipt at him, and walk away. He yell "@#$% YOU!" at me, and without turning my head, I reply. "Have a Nice day, SIR" in a really aggressive tone. He peeled out of there.

People shouldn't order more than two sandwiches in Drive Tru. At least, don't complain when you're six Big Macs make you wait.

[SDF]

Nothing much at all. Just something that caught me off guard, today.

Spoiler

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A certain family member pointed out the fact I'd failed to make eye contact when I should have. Grocery store, we "know" this one guy who works there because he's been there a long time, he'd handed me something. Appropriate response: Look at him, smile, say "thanks," blahblah... Mine: Say nothing, look at the floor, or my hand, or a random object behind him. I was gotten down on because it, apparently, came off as "rude."

Somehow "I can't even make eye contact with my friends!" does nothing in my defence.

Eye contact is very interesting, you can innately know moods and emotions by pupil size. It is neat how different cultures interpret it. Your family member probably looks down on a lack of eye contact as "shift-eyed" as it is often seen as a sign of honesty(which is funny because a psychopath with no empathy will often look you in the eye and be as dishonest as they feel) It is also a sign of aggression and assertiveness. And without being too presumptuous or judgmental I can say I don't think you are a very aggressive person, so it is a normal reaction for you to not want to cause conflict by staring someone in the eye. In Islamic and far eastern cultures eye contact is often avoided out of various forms of respect. And even in the west prolonged eye contact, as I'm sure most people know, can come off as a bit creepy or awkward. I often find myself staring too much at someones eyes and usually cause them to avert eye contact from me. When I meet someone new it is one of the first things I notice because I find it indicative of someones personality, and am therefore able to communicate better with them. So when a family member tells you to make eye contact they are telling you to behave in a way that is characteristic of traits they find desirable. Where as, I'm sure everyone here can attest, we like you for you.

[DarkLightDragon]

One of my cousins works at a fast-food place, and she tells stories of similar things that go on. She seems to like telling them, and I remember one incident in particular that she seemed to find funny when she was talking about it.

I hope that doesn't happen to you too much, Rex. *hugs*

[Rex Idiotarum]

I love the adrenalin rush from it. The screeching tires, the anger, such display of Emotion. Too bad the guy's going to die of a heart attack, what with that much anger and McDonald's food.

[Cyrano]

I have a problem with eye contact. The only time I can do it is when I'm trying to make someone look away in a contest of wills. Luckily, however, I have the air of an absent-minded head-in-the-clouds guy who will just stare into space, thinking about....
Luckily, people don't know what I'm thinking about. So far, no one has called me untrustworthy, which is shocking, because I'm actually quite a good lyer. I don't know why, it just comes to me. Freaky, really.

PS, Rex, I'm sure you brighten up their days! Actually, having one of them employees SWEAR at me once in a while would be nice...goddamn, they seem so fake polite. Just say "@#$@ you, order already" please. So, THANK YOU.

[Rex Idiotarum]

I like to look just right of a person, it shows I really don't care what they say, I'm not really paying attention. Just speak already. Yeah. I'm a horrible people person. They shouldn't keep me up front. It also doesn't help that I just like to screw with people.

[DarkLightDragon]

Had sleeping problems the last few nights. Suckyness. I'm pretty sure its got something to do with my nose. Lots of mucus in my nose. I use tissues often and... ew. I also end up snorting it sometimes (I try not to, but sometimes I can't help it ) so sometimes my nose hurts 'cause I'm trying to get rid of the mucus by doing that. It feels like its always there though.

Anyway, as I've said, this has been keeping me awake at night. There is stuff I can take for this, but as I've just started meds I'm not going to be taking other stuff for a while.

[Jibar]

Something incredibly silly has got me depressed today, and it's not one of my usuals.
But, I have like many finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
And that's why.
It struck me upon finishing just how much this silly book series meant to me. I've often mentioned how overhyped it all was, and how stupid some peoples' reactions have been but... well, Potter has been one of the few... two passions I've really had.
And it's over. And I've sort of run out of things to do, period. Nothing really seems to matter now, like some little but of purpose has faded away.
It's rather silly. Really. But I can now fully appreciate just what effect a lack of Potter will have on me.

[Sir_Norbert]

Really now..... my reaction to finishing Deathly Hallows was exactly the opposite -- elation and deep satisfaction. (Um, I should start off by saying, this post will NOT contain spoilers.) I'd been really stressed and nervous beforehand because I accidentally saw one of those stupid fake spoilers and I was really really hoping it would turn out to be fake. Not only did that happen, but the book enveloped me in so much mystery and intrigue that for most of it I wasn't really thinking about who would or wouldn't die in the end, I wanted to see how the mystery would be resolved. Then as the climax approached, something happened that made it certain the fake spoiler wouldn't happen, so in the end it did me no harm at all -- apart from a few sleepless nights leading up to release day -- but I think that only made it all the more pleasurable when the book did arrive.

[Rex Idiotarum]

O! God, you people... So much stress, could I possibly say, "It's just a children's storybook?"

I would, but angry fans will wave their wands at me. As far as the book goes, I'm hoping to get it.

[Sir_Norbert]

Say anything you want. I could in principle say "The moon is made of green cheese", but just saying it doesn't make it true.

[Rex Idiotarum]

No, a proper equivalent would be, "We did land on the moon."

So sects will get really angry at that.

[Jibar]

O! God, you people... So much stress, could I possibly say, "It's just a children's storybook?"

I would, but angry fans will wave their wands at me. As far as the book goes, I'm hoping to get it.

I know it's just a children's book. I've always said that. And when I started reading them, I was a child.
But they've just affected so much of my life without me realising, I don't know what I'll do now.

[PhoeKun]

I know it's just a children's book. I've always said that. And when I started reading them, I was a child.
But they've just affected so much of my life without me realising, I don't know what I'll do now.

Read something else? Watch the movies? Read the books again? Run a mouse over your hands? Plot to take over the world? Bake a cake?

The possibilities are endless, Jib. J.K. Rowling just wants you to think your life has revolved around her...

[Xykon_Fan]

On the whole eye-contact thing...

First off, I have the same problem. I don't particularly prefer prolonged eye contact with people unless, like D'anna, I'm in a staring contest (which I've won against pretty much everyone but this one girl...she was taken...I checked ).

Second, it's actually a symptom of a lot of the social disorders, etc. I'm not saying you guys have that problem. It's just kind of a useless fact. Autism, aspergers (can also swing the other way to not knowing when to stop looking at someone's eyes), etc. can have lack of eye-contact as a symptom. As long as you can make eye-contact if you wanted to, I think you're okay.

Third, SDF, is it a bad thing if I can look at someone, and completely without empathy, look them in the eye and be as dishonest as I can possibly be and get away with it? Apparently I'm a psychopath...

[ForzaFiori]

Something incredibly silly has got me depressed today, and it's not one of my usuals.
But, I have like many finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
And that's why.
It struck me upon finishing just how much this silly book series meant to me. I've often mentioned how overhyped it all was, and how stupid some peoples' reactions have been but... well, Potter has been one of the few... two passions I've really had.
And it's over. And I've sort of run out of things to do, period. Nothing really seems to matter now, like some little but of purpose has faded away.
It's rather silly. Really. But I can now fully appreciate just what effect a lack of Potter will have on me.

i get that same problem every time something that i've been waiting for ends. when i finished Deathly Hollows, after every christmas, after every birthday, its wierd. and this small depressed fealing will stay there until i find something new to wait for or something amazing happens in my life. (currently hoping for option #2). But i've found that if u just find something else to do, the fealing gets smaller.
try taking up baking/cooking, not only is it fun, but it will impress the opposite sex.

[Castaras]

Nothing much at all. Just something that caught me off guard, today.

Spoiler

Show

A certain family member pointed out the fact I'd failed to make eye contact when I should have. Grocery store, we "know" this one guy who works there because he's been there a long time, he'd handed me something. Appropriate response: Look at him, smile, say "thanks," blahblah... Mine: Say nothing, look at the floor, or my hand, or a random object behind him. I was gotten down on because it, apparently, came off as "rude."

Somehow "I can't even make eye contact with my friends!" does nothing in my defence.

Hey, don't worry about it Ego.

I can't make eye contact with my friends. I can do staring contests, I can stare at people rather than make eye contact, but I can't do eye contact, except with my family, and even then I sometimes find it difficult.

It really doesn't matter. Just ignore them and carry on with life. If they can't understand you, so what? Many other people will understand and respect you for it. Don't let it put you down.

[sktarq]

About eye contact in general. Generally it's a good thing to be able to do. If you find it difficult enough that you have to think about it/focus on it etc you may want to work on it. In part because this will mess up relationtions with many people. And not just because they think you are impolite but because they are relying on you looking at their faces by which they are comunicating all sorts of stuff. One of my friends detested eye contact to a degree that was unreal. If someone tried to maintain eye contact for more than a second or two she would hit them. Personally I found it rather cute and endearing (she couldn't hit very hard and I have both high pain tolerance and absorbant hair) and over time we got her to relax about it. It really isn't very hard once you go for it....the trying is generally the hard part.
Also a goodly percentage of others (but by no means all) will take it as a lack of confidence (even if it is not) and think of it as a green light to walk all over you socially-or not listen to your imput on a project-or not give you a raise-or an equal say in a relationship-etc etc. AKA There are serious pros to learning to boost the amount of eye contact you are willing to make.

[Rex Idiotarum]

But then people think you care about them or what they have to say. If not looking at someone, could I look through them?

Hm... I guess the best way to describe my life right now is "Only Half Full," not "Half Empty" or "Half Full." I feel as though everything is fine, but what is good? I'm in a stagnant pond, working at an okay job, living at an okay home, eating okay things, and hanging with okay people. Where are the greats? It's that point in life where I'm waiting for something to happen, a new challenge, a new journey, something... better or worse. It's that hope, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I get hit by a car. Not killed, but certainly crippled for a month or so. I want a new job, a new home, new things to eat, and new friends to hang around with. I want adventure, stories to tell people besides what I mopped up at work. I need to get out of here, I'm afraid my brain has already left.

[DarkLightDragon]

Well... I recently found out that I might have ADD. I'm really not sure what to think about that.

[Xykon_Fan]

Eh, I think I'm ADD. My parents might disagree, but I think I have a fairly mild case. Just try to make sure you stay focused on something. I know that it helps to enjoy whatever your doing at that time. I have a fun mix of OCD and ADD which makes for real interesting decisions...

It's honestly not that bad. Just make sure that you have a lot of things to keep yourself occupied and productive with. For instance, I usually have about 5 books going at any one time. When I lose focus on one, I pick up another.

Oh, and stay away from stuff like caffeine, cough syrup, etc. If you do have ADD, then those things will typically reverse their effects on you. Cough syrup will make you chipper, and caffeine will dull you a bit. Not always, but sometimes.

@V: Oh, I thought it applied to coffee as well. In that case, drink away! If you need an energy drink, but don't have anything important, try taking some cough syrup and see what it does. I've heard that it makes ADD's bounce off the walls.

[SweetLikeLemons]

DarkLightDragon, I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 17, and it actually turned out to be a really good thing. Many of the problems I'd been having were suddenly explained, and while just getting diagnosed didn't make them go away, it did give me a new perspective on them, and some new ways to deal with them.

Here are a couple of books that are worth checking out:

Driven to Distraction and

Delivered from Distraction

The second one especially has been really helpful to me, and it is the one I lend to people who ask me about ADD. It has tons of information on ADD in adults instead of in children, and ways to cope with it at school, work, in relationships, etc. Another plus? The guy who wrote it actually has ADD, so he has a really positive way of looking at it.

Oh, and the coffee thing? Caffiene is a stimulant, just as many ADD and ADHD medications are. I never found that it "dulled" me or made me sleepy, I found that it helped me focus. I drank it almost constantly in high school for that reason, and found out later that I had been essentially self-medicating without even realizing it.

Anyway, I'm not a psychologist or anything, but I have dealt with ADD for years now, so if you have any questions about it, feel free to PM me, and I may be able to help. And remember, ADD has some positive sides to it, and it is being recognised more and more as an adult disorder, not just what you call the kid who can't stop climbing the walls.

[Narmoth]

The problem with coffe is that caffeine release dopamine in the brain. So you can get addicted to it as you can get addicted to drugs.
If you overdo it, that is. A cup or 2 don't hurt, but 20 cups will.

[Trog]

Trog, I don't recall anyone experiencing anything like what you're describing. Not at the rate you are, anyway. But I may have a clue as to what's going on, and I ask that you correct me if I'm off.

*snippity*

That's all I got. Hope it helped.

That could very well be, Bor. Though I can say that I have only missed two individual days since starting medication. I have been in therapy since before going on meds. Though I am beginning to question his methods or lack thereof. And I do my part in the chemical/behavior modification process. And as to the alcohol thing I do not drink, even casually, very often at all. I have found out in the past year there are many recovered alcoholics in my birth family which has done nothing but steel my resolve in staying sober since I may be genetically predisposed to alcoholism. Thankfully I have never fallen to that addiction. Just had a bad night here and there throughout my life.

And Hippie that's interesting. I have actually noticed that. It may have also played a bit of a part in recent Thes-related difficulties. When the happy feelings fade a bit you wonder what it's from. I can say for certain that the meds DO take the edge off both depression and happiness. Considering how depressed I can become it is a small price to pay. Let's just say that recently there have been some VERY bad times for me. But now things are looking very up. I have a Thes and a kitty and a fish at the house and *manly gasp of shock* cooking utensils?!? And anyways I have rarely been as happy as I have been in the past few days. Here's to that lasting a long, long time. <3

[ForzaFiori]

i'm gonna both briefly revive this topic, and rant. yay for multitasking!

anyone ever started working for something, and then a whole bunch of stuff goes wrong? thats how i feal. At the end of last school year, i signed up for my schools Cross-Country team, and was planning on training over the summer. However,2 weeks into the summer, i pinched a nerve in my back, no running for a week. 2 weeks after that, i went to a summer camp, where my time for running was greatly reduced. then, monday, i twisted my knee, and i cant run currently. Practice starts next monday, and i can't run now, and when i get back to running, i'll be at way lower than my usual endurance, which wasn't the best to begin with. the sporatic running over the summer has done almost nothing to help, instead of the huge boost to endurance i should have gained! Its so frustrating knowing that i'm gonna have to tell my coach i cant even run the 3 miles we run in a meet right now. GAH! i guess i just gotta hope i can go injury free until our first meet.