The Depression Thread

[Skippy]

Thanks Skenardo, that's what I plan on doing. And it's not that she isn't of any good for me. I think that she must be the best thing that ever happened to me since I got here, but I can't be with her. That's what bothers me... It's not a hormonal thing... Heck, I left another girl who was hotter for her... i'm just kinda stupid, y'know...

BTW, you've read Snicket too, that's cool!

[LurkerinthePlaygnd]

And old people do seem to sleep less in my experience.

I don't know, Daze, my grandmother is 86 and she sleeps 9-10 hours a night.

As to the Seasonal Affective Disorder, try replacing your light bulbs with "Daylight" bulbs, and leave them on a little longer than you normally would. (I know, I know, not very energy efficient) I read somewhere that this can help in some cases.

[Lilly]

Look I'm sorry that y'all can't get to the old depression thread. If you really despriatly need something from it, I can see what I can do to get it to you, but it won't be coming back.

[DarkLightDragon]

...What happened to the old one? *hasn't checked the depression thread for ages*

Anyway, here's a little update from DLD:

Two of the people I REALLY dislike left school. There's still quite a few more here, but two less idiots are better then two more idiots.

And my ability to concentrate seems to have gone poof.

As for the actual emotional problems, I'm still having pretty frequent anger/upset/down moments. Medication is becoming a possibility. But I'm not sure what to think about that.

[Narmoth]

Yay, it's back. How great, now i can be depressed again
Anyway, it's good to to have it back.

I'm happy for you DLD. It's allways good when a idiot leaves for another place in this world*. Depending on what medication is the issue, it can be a very good thing. Get you doctor to explain how the medication works for you. If you know the name of the medication, I can also look into it for you

Take care!

__________________________________________
* for those who also think it's great when idiots leave for the next world, check out darwin awards

[smellie_hippie]

I'm very pleased that this thread is back again. I had sent a couple of PMs to a mod about restarting it, but felt that I wasn't up to the task of "starting it". Thanks to you Skenardo for taking up the yoke.

I'll be happy to be here for advice and all that stuff, as well as answer PMs if anyone has something to discuss confidentially.

Oh... and an update from me. I'm mailing off my certification for professional licensure in Marriage and Family Therapy tomorrow. I'll get my exam date scheduled, get finger-printed and hopefully get results ASAP. Still a little worried about the test... but if I don't know it now, I ain't gonna know it.

Hippie: Therapist in the Playground

[Skippy]

Good luck smellie!!! We need a therapist, so please, please study hard and get your license soon!!

[Quincunx]

The purpose of life?

In the far-distant future, nothing you do will have any impact, other than whether or not you bred. Dump fertile goo or bulge with pregnancy juices, or else renounce your claim to posterity. We'll forget what you wrote here in a week. Your friends will get families, your family will die off, your ideas and philosophies will lose relevance. Who invented the plow?

There are some current philosophies which'll soften the blow--force you to focus on goals here-and-now, diminish your desire for posterity, or revel in the lack of permanency.

[SDF]

Actually, it is more logical that every minute thing you do will have a HUGE impact on the future, and more of an impact the further into the future you go. Think of it from a 'birds and bees' perspective; if you bump into a man or even cause him to miss a traffic light the chance that the same sperm that would have been a human if you hadn't affected him still becoming a human is astronomically small. You probably do this thousands of times or more in your life time. You affect the entire genotype of the species thousands of years from now.

Shoot a man in Reno and we may evolve into birds instead of fish.

[sktarq]

Heh, no worries man. <snip>. that might help.

A the 5:08 wake up call...every damn morning. Yep familiar.
First thing. Figure out how much sleep you need. I'm lucky I need about 4-5 hours per 24 hour cycle with an 8 hour shot once every 1-2 weeks or a 2-3 hour naps every 12 hours.
Second thing: where do you work

[The Great Skenardo]

I need a hug. My lady friend (two year anniversary coming up next month) has been making noises as if she thinks that we have less and less in common. This to me sounds like a prelude for separation.

Not that I can really blame her, of course; we have a long-distance relationship and are lucky to see each other once in a year. Furthermore, she recently underwent a somewhat stark conversion, which puts her faith nominally at odds with my own.

The thing is, I can't really read what she means. She seems unwilling to discuss at any length our theological differences, and I can't determine if her talk about a growing rift is just because she sees the difference in faith as an insurmountable gap. I don't think it is; I'm happy enough letting her believe what she will, but I expect the same courtesy in return. I don't think the nominal difference between what we believe necessarily constitutes a real obstacle to a healthy and lasting relationship.

And the worst part is, I don't know if she does either.

I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but I can't help being apprehensive, anxious and depressed.

(Also had some dilemma as to whether to post this here, in the anxiety thread, or in the relationship woes and advice)

Note: I'm mostly looking for sympathy, I guess, but if you have advice that isn't faith-related, I'll take that too. If it is faith-related, then I'd gladly accept in PM any advice or thoughts you might be willing to share.

*Hugs go here*

[Katonta]

I need a hug. snipity snip snip, snip SNIP!

Note: I'm mostly looking for sympathy, I guess, but if you have advice that isn't faith-related, I'll take that too. If it is faith-related, then I'd gladly accept in PM any advice or thoughts you might be willing to share.

*Hugs go here*

Hello again! Sadly, I wasn't in the old thread for to long before it went down, so I'm not very well known. First off, *Hug to TGS* hope that helps. Long-distance relationships are always tough, but as they say, "Love can cross any jump*." Good luck, I'm rooting for you!

The purpose of life?

In the far-distant future, nothing you do will have any impact, other than whether or not you bred. Dump fertile goo or bulge with pregnancy juices, or else renounce your claim to posterity. We'll forget what you wrote here in a week. Your friends will get families, your family will die off, your ideas and philosophies will lose relevance. Who invented the plow?

You know, Quincunx? Your partially right. Part of our lives are based on whether we have bred or not. Its programmed into our genes! But that isn't the only thing our lives are based on. You say that nothing you do will ever have any effect on anyone? I say your wrong, the simple act of holding a door open for someone can change their day. You say that everyone's names are doomed to be lost in history? I say, that may be true but that shouldn't keep us down. Has anyone forgotten Mr. Nobel? the inventor of dynamite? No, because his name will live on forever as one of the most prestiges(sp?) prizes you can receive, the Nobel Peace Prize. What about the Wright Brothers? I'm sure you know what they invented. They certainly weren't written off as nothings and forgotten in a week. You think to yourself, "How are these good examples? Their famous, they invented something life-changing!" I say their perfect examples, before they were known, before they changed the world, they were ordinary people just like you and me. The only difference? They decided to make something of themselves, they decided to not be written off as no ones who didn't make a difference and so can you. You can change the world, you can make a difference, you can be the one who stands out everywhere, even in history books.

Whew, that was a long one. Now that I am done, you can go about your lives, in comfort (or hardness) and you may write this off as a rambling of an old youngin and forget all about this. Heck, most of you probably will. But if I can reach to one person, touch him, change him maybe, and have him keep this post in their heart for the rest of their life, remembering it (no matter how vague) when they need help, then I have made a difference. Because, really people, this may be a depression thread, but that doesn't mean you can wallow in yours

Question to the Mods: what was the reason the old thread was taken down? Just want to know so that we can stay away from it. Thanks.
*I don't know if they actually say that

[Yiel]

The Great Skenardo, sometimes what one person in a relationship is willing to overlook for love... the other will be unable to let go.

If the uncertainty and stress of not being able to communicate with your lady is tearing you to bits... maybe you should broach the issue. Just tell her what you've been feeling, and how you stand. (Also a good time to tell her if you love her too).

*sends hugs*

[Zeb The Troll]

Question to the Mods: what was the reason the old thread was taken down? Just want to know so that we can stay away from it. Thanks.

For the record, not talking about the demise of the other thread is the best way to stay away from the topic that caused its demise. It's nothing that needs to be rehashed and has been summed up already in this thread.

[J_Muller]

For the record, not talking about the demise of the other thread is the best way to stay away from the topic that caused it's demise. It's nothing that needs to be rehashed and has been summed up already in this thread.

Hmmph.

It's times like these where I wish I knew more about computers...

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

*sneaks in wearing clever plastic combination eyeglasses and nose disguise*

Ummm...Bor says that he's not actually gone, but has gone into more of a lurker mode. He's watching over his flock, and will likely handle things when, and ONLY when, he can do so without becoming an emotional wreck.

As for the old thread, Bor sincerely recommends leaving it alone. Pursuing it, he says, would be like pulling the scab off a wound that's healing nicely on its own.

To be clear, Bor is not officially back. He says he can be reached by e-mail, not PM, and will not be logging on to GitP regularly enough to handle whatever crisis arises. Still, he feels a sense of duty to that which he started many moons ago. So if you need him, e-mail him.

[Skippy]

Hey Skenardo, I feel it's my duty to return the favor you did to me with your advice, with another advise...

First of all, I know how difficult it is to have a long-distance relationship and keep it working, because my ex and I went like that for about a year and a half, so I understand exactly how it can be hard for you to try and keep the fire lit, but let me tell you something... Here in Mexico we have a saying that goes "Amor de lejos es de pen... sarse" which means something along the way of "A far away love is a fool's love" (OK, that's not what it says there, but I wanted to keep it family-oriented... Even in Spanish...). Trust me, sometimes the best thing to do is to let go. It can be really hard and really frustrating to have the ones you love far from you... And specially if both of you have big differences to solve... It's not even healthy for any of you to keep it like that...

My ex and I, we haven't spoken too much from february to the date, because it's hurting us both to do so, and even more if we can't speak more than via messenger...

If you love her, let her go
If she comes back, she's yours
If she doesn't, she never was...

I know it's sad, but sometimes it's better to keep distances in order to solve problems and then you'll be able to speak freely once again and perhaps in a future you'll come back together.

Well, that's what I think, at least. Hope you find it useful

[zeratul]

Well I feel like unloading so here I go......

I hate most people at my school. They are mostly immature ass wholes obsessed with acting as "Ghetto" as possible, and with their looks. I try to just hang with my friends and avoid them, but my friends hang with them at school. I have always been very open about my geekiness, which hasn't helped me either. I get made fun of about once every ten minutes at school. I am depressed considerabelly more than I am happy. However I never tell anyone because I feel guilty about unloading it onto them. This has eroded my emotional state for a while now, not to mention my mental state. I also have a feer of unloading, and talking about my sadness, because people see me as a happy go-lucky person, and I fear they wont believe me.

That's all from me for now.

[LurkerinthePlaygnd]

*sneaks in wearing clever plastic combination eyeglasses and nose disguise*

Funny....I always thought that was his real nose.

If you love her, let her go
If she comes back, she's yours

If she doesn't, hunt her down and...oh, wait, this is supposed to be helpful advice. Sorry.

I have always been very open about my geekiness, which hasn't helped me either.

I had a friend back in school that got made fun of on a regular basis. He was as nerdy as they come. Well, let me just say, he retired at the age of 35 (cashed in his Microsoft stock options) married a beautiful, smart woman and now spends his time flying around the country in his aeroplane.

Just try to stick it out; endure the slings and arrows, as it were, and ten years from now you'll probably be doing just fine, these school years just a fading memory.

Most of the people I remember as the nerds from school are now in positions in life that would be envied by their tormentors.

[DarkLightDragon]

Well I feel like unloading so here I go......

I hate most people at my school. They are mostly immature ass wholes obsessed with acting as "Ghetto" as possible, and with their looks. I try to just hang with my friends and avoid them, but my friends hang with them at school. I have always been very open about my geekiness, which hasn't helped me either. I get made fun of about once every ten minutes at school. I am depressed considerabelly more than I am happy. However I never tell anyone because I feel guilty about unloading it onto them. This has eroded my emotional state for a while now, not to mention my mental state. I also have a feer of unloading, and talking about my sadness, because people see me as a happy go-lucky person, and I fear they wont believe me.

That's all from me for now.

That's a lot like my situation. It can be embarrassing to unload (For example, I have someone from TWO YEAR GROUPS BELOW ME harassing me...) but you really should do so. It's not really that bad to tell other people what's going on and ask for help.

I also like to think about things that other people here have said, the ones about nerds being hugely successful. I hope I can be successful like them.

[Ego Slayer]

Zer -
First off, anything ghetto bothers me a lot, so *hug of sympathy.*
That's why we're here! You can unload on us without feeling guilty.

I have always been very open about my geekiness, which hasn't helped me either. I get made fun of about once every ten minutes at school.

You know you totally saw this link coming. Don't deny it.

[DarkLightDragon]

You know you totally saw this link coming. Don't deny it.

Ship isn't the only one who wants her self esteem!

<.<
>.>

[Castaras]

@ Zer - We all have our depressing moments at school. I personally prefer the normal lessons over the "treats" we get. Simply because it keeps me away from the others in my year who bully or tease those who look and feel a bit different. Kinda sad.

Seriously, just get your way through the years, and then you'll be away from the chavs and bastards who like to hurt people for fun. From what I've heard, when you get to Uni/College it'll only get better. So there's something to look forward.

And good for you for talking about it. Talking helps. Loads. Even if its to empty space. Or even to just a parent or sibling.

Don't worry about it, anyway. I have a group of year 8s harrassing me currently, 'cos I'm a geek, and quite open about it.

Actually, I've gained alot of confidence in those sort of ways. Before I wouldn't have thought of doing anything like that.

Anyway, yeah, we all have our problems at school. I get teased loads. Always have been.

Recently some little [self scrubbed] got me involved in her little [self scrubbed] scheme to get another kid into deep trouble and a fight. Back fired against her, but I still am annoyed. I still don't get these people. Why the **** do these people spend so long doing these things? Don't they have anything better to do? Like check their hair gel is still in? Or their make up hasn't run?

Actually, what I've noticed is that all the teasing and bullying is coming from people who I've never seen before, or never spoken to before. People I've spoken to I get no teasing from. Makes kind of sense. You see a geeky person, look, with very few people with her. Lets take out our stress on her. Be fun!

...

Wait, no it doesn't. *sigh* Been on both spectrums of the bullying aspect, and I *still* can't understand them.

Stupid inability to be able to understand people.

Two close friends have fallen out, bad, and I can't do anything. The most I can do is talk. I can't put a hand on their shoulder, a reassuring hug, or anything. Hate it. Hate it hate it HATE IT!



...whew, that feels better already.

[PlatinumJester]

Stop being so depressed everyone. Life sucks we know but that is tough cookies and there is nothing you can do about it but oh well. Just think, it could be worst. You could be trapped at the bottom of a well ad we all know that wells cause cancer and evil children who crawl out of video tapes.

Also if people bully you for being a geek than thats just to bad. I have ginger hair and am over weigh and have people taking the piss out of me constantly. However just remember you are better than them because you are smarter and have more money so just be cool and let it slide.

[Castaras]

Stop being so depressed everyone. Life sucks we know but that is tough **** and there is nothing you can do about it but oh well. Just think, it could be worst. You could be trapped at the bottom of a well ad we all know that wells cause cancer and evil children who crawl out of video tapes.

Which is why I'm not being depressed. I'm just letting out my feelings so that I can feel happy.

My diary thingy I keep I always try and end with something positive. Because I like being happy.

[Ceska]

I will not go into detail now, I spoke a lot in RB while the thread was down and I really needed to, I don't feel really depressed now, still not good, but not really bad either. Anyway, maybe when I have the time to write and read the previous posts. I just want to comment on this one now.

Stop being so depressed everyone. Life sucks we know but that is tough $hit and there is nothing you can do about it but oh well. Just think, it could be worst. You could be trapped at the bottom of a well ad we all know that wells cause cancer and evil children who crawl out of video tapes.

You're not helping at all. Seriously, I, for example, know that, it makes me only more depressed. It's depressing to think how you have a rather good life while others, sometimes better, die for no reason. And you can't change anything. Also, at least, I feel sometimes restricted in my feelings by this attitude. Neither the treating a depressive person as Emo who has lost his/her boy/girlfriend, nor the "it could be worse" attitude, which seems like "your life is oh so well, you have no right to be depressed about it". I decide what I think as depressive and I decide if I have the right to be depressed or not. Nobody else.

It wasn't meant personal at all, I simply had to say that a time.

Also if people bully you for being a geek than thats just to bad. I have ginger hair and am over weigh and have people taking the piss out of me constantly. However just remember you are better than them because you are smarter and have more money so just be cool and let it slide.

Smarter? In most cases, depending on what you value of course.
More money? Definatly not. And I'll probably never have because of our system and the fact that some will just take over their father's company.

An arrogant attitude helps only to parts. You will see, it also hampers you with others, because they will see you as the arrogant *** you present yourself. Of course, a bit arrogancy is needed and healthy, everbody has that (even those bullies do), but it's too easy to overdo it.

As to bullying. I've lived with that for seven years now. It gets less over time, when you grow into a class and take a position. Also, people do get older and grow up to be fairly intelligent beings with which you can talk normally. My tip is to get a thick skin and just wait.

Then again, I know perfectly well how much the "just wait" annoys me everytime I hear it when it comes to my depression. Maybe "use arrogancy but be aware you really aren't better than them if you look at it as a whole". That, or use it as a fuel. How many geeks have gone rich and married the hot babe because they were bullied and wanted to proof themselves?
Okay, there's definatly a lot of failures in there too. I know that. Doesn't change anything on the potential of a person.

[Chaszmyr]

Please take this with a grain of salt, because I am not a fan of most therapists.

I would suggest having a discussion with your therapist about his or her psychological paradigm. I am not denying repressed memories as a concept or as something that may occur, but I think that some therapists are prone to a sort of Freudian approach that involves a lot of things that I do not see based on science. Sigmond Freud wasn't much of a scientist in regards to many of this theories, and the fact that many modern psychologists follow his beliefs is a riddle to me. I am not meaning to attack you or your therapist, but I do worry when I hear things about diagnosing repressed sexual abuse that may've not ever occured. The human mind is very open to suggestive memory adaptation, and it would not be the first time that a therapist has 'created' a memory of sexual abuse or altered a memory to appear more abusive than it was by taking advantage of the amount of trust a patient often has in their therapist. I doubt that any doctor would do this intentionally, but sometimes it is done in an attempt to 'help' you. Depressed or unbalanced patients are often quick to assume the patterns their therapist appears to be seeking. Parents or guardians are (rarely) imprisoned because of these circumstances from time to time, and it is sad.

Good luck with your problem though, I do hope that you find the help you need.

I tried a therapist; they were a freudian whose specialty was in analysing the home situation, so of course the first subject (after "How can you pay?") was about my mother. I have had issues with her and her upbringing but that is not why I have depression - a misguided hippie mother is not a good explanation for violent mood swings, poor sleep, self-harm or headaches. I have yet to find a medical professional who will talk to me sensibly about dealing with what I believe is a chemical imbalance without palming me off with antidepressants or appointments the psychiatrist won't keep.

That was particularly aggravating, that - after that first appointment I got two more, which I only got details for days after I was due to be there. I then got rude phone calls about not keeping appointments and explained the situation to them. Gone kinda quiet since.

At the moment my own woes do have a cause; a hiatus hernia that has given me grief for two years. After a lot of yelling at a crooked specialist for striking me off the waiting list for no reason at all, I'm finally getting a check up next month, followed hopefully by surgery.

After that, well I'll still be depressed and I can't blame it on my health. I've been this bad since I was a kid. Medication has been a feature of life a few times but it doesn't help. I fight it largely with working and drawing - but there's only so much even a work ethic can do. I'm getting very close to the stage that I might just not get out of bed one morning, not for work or food or anything.

Well I won't bore you with my scars any further. Thanks for reading.

[Hoggy]

As a psychology student: Freud sucks.

Anyways, moving on, I'm in a bad mood and might leave home soon. Whoopdedoo.

PlatinumJester, lack of understanding is no reason to mock something.

[Timberwolf]

That's a lot like my situation. It can be embarrassing to unload (For example, I have someone from TWO YEAR GROUPS BELOW ME harassing me...) but you really should do so. It's not really that bad to tell other people what's going on and ask for help.

I also like to think about things that other people here have said, the ones about nerds being hugely successful. I hope I can be successful like them.

DLD, there's only one way to deal with little kids harrassing you.

Get one of them and beat the snot out of them.

You'll get in trouble for it and have to deal with the recrimations and disappointed looks, but they'll soon be over. Detention'll last, what ? An hour. Worth it to solve it. It's one of the things I regret not doing when I was at school (although fortunately I only had to deal with the people in my age group.)

Zeratul, nothing is forever. People'll grow up. Just stay yourself and it'll be fine. This obseession with being "ghetto" won't last, I really, really hope so anyway. I don't know how old you are, but you can't have long left in school. Go to university, have a blast and then come back to your old neighbourhood driving a soft top mercedes with the hood down and extremely loud classical music blaring out of the speakers.

[Skippy]

driving a soft top mercedes with the hood down and extremely loud classical music blaring out of the speakers.

The classical part, I loved it!!! Something like the old Ludwig Van will show them who's the boss!!

Cheer up Zer!! Just don't listen to them, they will grow tired of bothering you and find someone else to bother... At least that was my case