The Depression Thread

[Ego Slayer]

Zer, just think, if you can make it though school with stupid people, then you can get into a college with fellow geeks, and cool people.

I wish I had the old DT thread; there was a good, more well-written, relevant response someone made.

Stop being so depressed everyone. Life sucks we know but that is tough $hit and there is nothing you can do about it but oh well. Just think, it could be worst.

You're not being helpful. The severity of the situation is defined by the person, not by comparisons.

[DarkLightDragon]

@Timberwolf: I would LOVE to beat the crap outta that kid. But it's pretty hard to actually bring myself to do that as it's not in my nature (I like to be nice when given the chance to do so without being picked on), and I punch like a baby. Kicking, throwing (assuming I hit, which is not likely as I have terrible accuracy) and whacking on the head with textbooks, on the other hand...

[Rex Idiotarum]

Violence solves nothing but violence, and that, in itself is a lost caused, for Violence propagates more violence. So, what you need to do is find troubled youth like you. We're more common than you think.

[LurkerinthePlaygnd]

DLD, there's only one way to deal with little kids harrassing you.

Get one of them and beat the snot out of them.

You'll get in trouble for it and have to deal with the recrimations and disappointed looks, but they'll soon be over.

Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea. It's called assault and the 'trouble' could very well follow you until you're an adult. My stepson got into a small altercation when he was 15 and the price he paid far outweighed the incident. It included a stay at a juvenile jail (you don't want to be there), 3 years of probation (had to drive to the courthouse twice a month to report in) and mandatory anger management counseling (which ain't free).

So please, think before you act.

[Ceska]

Well, done with reading, onwards to real posting...

The purpose of life?

In the far-distant future, nothing you do will have any impact, other than whether or not you bred. Dump fertile goo or bulge with pregnancy juices, or else renounce your claim to posterity. We'll forget what you wrote here in a week. Your friends will get families, your family will die off, your ideas and philosophies will lose relevance. Who invented the plow?

Wow, it's not only discriminating, it's also wrong. (Nothing personal, I don't know you well enough for that). In fact, I believed in this more or less a few years ago. But think about it, it means catholic priests have no purpose, it means homosexuals have no purpose, which is clearly wrong, seeing as most higher species have both bi- and homosexuality. So, something can't be right, can it? Well, I figured out, the purpose is to create a nurturing society for the coming generations rather than just to breed. It doesn't matter if you have a child or not, you can still have a huge effect on somebody's life if you don't.

I hate most people at my school. They are mostly immature ass wholes obsessed with acting as "Ghetto" as possible, and with their looks. I try to just hang with my friends and avoid them, but my friends hang with them at school.

Do what I do, stay and laugh about them. You'll see, if you take a bit distance towards a group it can be actually funny to look. Nothing embarrassing there as long as you don't feel responisble. Life is far funnier if you don't take it seriously but as what it is, a satire.

I have always been very open about my geekiness, which hasn't helped me either. I get made fun of about once every ten minutes at school.

That will end sooner or later. For me it was ninth grade, for others it is sometime else. But it will end. People grow up and lose that, at least for a part. Also, find a technique to live with it, for me it was being arrogant, for others it may be something else, but you'll find it sooner or later.

I am depressed considerabelly more than I am happy. However I never tell anyone because I feel guilty about unloading it onto them. This has eroded my emotional state for a while now, not to mention my mental state. I also have a feer of unloading, and talking about my sadness, because people see me as a happy go-lucky person, and I fear they wont believe me.

Talk with somebody who takes you serious, when you feel the time is ready. Before that, talking won't help. And do it somewhere else than here, a dialogue is always good, but it's also always better in person.



As to the beating up etc, too many quotes which all wouldn't help all too much, I can only say, don't do it. Only the dumb resolve disputes with violence, or better said, animals only then resolve things with violence when they don't see another way. As that, I advise to approach a person and talk. I know it from my personal experience, the best thing is to get something like a speech before, or at least know exactly what do say. Like "isn't it sad that people have to harrass others to feel good? I mean, it's actually quite close to be funny, you have to make others feel worse because they are different to feel good yourself? That's not even to laugh about anymore. I pity you." And simply go. Most of the time it worked, made the other feel bad for some time, because really, most people at school are at least smart enough to feel bad about this and don't forget it, or made him get aggressive. The moment a person gets aggressive in an argument, he or she has lost. Violence only helps the other, never you. On the other hand, it doesn't matter how you say it. You may as well say it half shouting or very harsh, but important is to stay somewhat calm throughout this.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Do what I do, be bitter and condescending to everybody. Also through in Sarcasm, because Sarcasm will get you everything in the world.

[Skippy]

Unless people are really stupid and don't realise you're being sarcastic. Then it will lead you to anywhere except where you want to be...

[/sarcasm]

[Rex Idiotarum]

No, that's when it's best, when you say something that maybe right or maybe sarcastic, but with a straight face just to confuse the hell out of them.

Like that statement, Sarcastic? Maybe... No.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

*sigh* You people are going to make me come back at least once a page, aren’t you? Oddly, it looks like Ego misses me most, without actually saying it directly. Fine. Here’s input from someone trying to impose self-banishment.

@ Zeratul and others frustrated with high school: yes, it sucks. You are thrust into a kind of social cage, where the only friends available to you are those presented by the system. It opens up a little more when your university years come along; more people means more choices. Once out of school, the sky’s the limit. You can go wherever you want and select your friends from any place you visit.

What you have to realize is that you never quite escape the clique. There will be those that will accept you, and those that won’t. Join the military, and you’ll find more acceptance and understanding among other military folk. Become wealthy, and the poor will hate you for what they don’t have, while your peers will expect you to snub those who do not meet their standards. One group will always disdain another for some very silly reasons. It’s an unfortunate reality, but even I, who keep mostly to myself, find myself disliked by those who don’t know or understand me.

Hold out for as many years as is necessary. Once you’re free of the educational system, you will find your social options less restraining.

I will not give relationship advice. I’ve reached a state of loneliness where I’m almost willing to accept the affections of any female…even a pulse is optional. (Okay, totally a joke there. I still have some standards, and being alive is definitely one of them.)

Now, for those who don’t understand what depression is…I had a discussion with a psych nurse a few months back. There is a huge difference between having depression and a case of the blues. A case of the blues will come and go. Depression is a full-time gig. I am ALWAYS depressed. I have a suicidal thought once a day, even while on my meds. I have suicidal thoughts all day long when off them. I have no self-worth. My ego and pride have vacated the premises long ago. Telling someone to “snap out of it” is the most ridiculous advice I’ve ever heard. (I heard a nurse at the hospital say it once and I never spoke to her again, as I believed she had no business treating the mentally disabled.)

@Chaszmyr: Serious psychological issues require three things: medication, therapy, and you.

The meds need time to work. None works overnight, often taking up to six weeks for their full effect to be noticed. Trying it for a few weeks and then thinking they’re not working is a mistake. Give them time. Also, there are many different medications out there. You need to try a few before you find the one (or ones) that works.

Therapy is the tough one. I’m now two years waiting for find a therapist. I asked a friend very recently one question: “How long am I expected to keep fighting before I surrender?” She panicked. A therapist would have a trained response. As far as I can see, the mental health system is overwhelmed. It’s up to you to fight for what should be yours: proper care. Meds will help stabilize you long enough to maintain that fight.

You: in the previous thread, dozens of ways to relieve the stress of mental illness were suggested. Working out, reading, writing, playing games, watching television, hanging with friends, watching movies…the list of distractions goes on and on. What you need to be sure NOT to do is use these things as a complete escape. No matter what you use to relieve the stress, the problems will still be there in the end. These pressure valves are meant only to help you get by, not fix what’s broken. Try to find something you enjoy and engage in that for a while, then get back to fighting your issues. Let’s face it: you can call these things escapes all you want, but can you really escape yourself?

Okay…I’m done for the moment. Stop “making” me come back.

[J_Muller]

Bor, you know we all miss you. You'll be back, and often.


I suppose it's time for me to do some unloading of my own...

High School. Does not. Suck. Seriously, get over it. Compared to starving orphans in Africa, you're living in the lap of luxury. Your life could be so much worse than it is now. I mean, sure, it's not perfect. But nothing ever is. It's not going to be the best time of your life, but damn if it couldn't be ten times worse. Everyone makes adolescence out to be so horrible and depressing, but it's not.*

*this is what works best for me. I realize that not everyone can be helped in the same way. I'm sorry if I cause anyone even more grief.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Bor, you know we all miss you. You'll be back, and often.


I suppose it's time for me to do some unloading of my own...

High School. Does not. Suck. Seriously, get over it. Compared to starving orphans in Africa, you're living in the lap of luxury. Your life could be so much worse than it is now. I mean, sure, it's not perfect. But nothing ever is. It's not going to be the best time of your life, but damn if it couldn't be ten times worse. Everyone makes adolescence out to be so horrible and depressing, but it's not.

You know what sucks, is when you have a pain, and somebody tells you that it could be worse. Well, yes it could, these guys know it, but they still feel bad all the same, and all you are doing is spreading salt into the wound. Next time you have a thought like this, voice it, just don't type it. Now they feel bad about feeling bad, and then feel bad about that. It's a spiral of depression.

"Ah! I've been stabbed! I'm bleeding!"
-"Tbth, it's not that bad, you could've had your leg cut off."
"There's blood flowing from my chest, aren't you going to help me?!?"
-"No, because you still have both of your legs."
"But this could get worse! I could get infected or bleed to death."
-"Then you'll do so with both legs, so, I think you're still better off then some people."
* First Person Passes Out *

[zeratul]

Bor, you know we all miss you. You'll be back, and often.


I suppose it's time for me to do some unloading of my own...

High School. Does not. Suck. Seriously, get over it. Compared to starving orphans in Africa, you're living in the lap of luxury. Your life could be so much worse than it is now. I mean, sure, it's not perfect. But nothing ever is. It's not going to be the best time of your life, but damn if it couldn't be ten times worse. Everyone makes adolescence out to be so horrible and depressing, but it's not.

Oh my god people need to shut.the.hell.up. about the whole "At least your not an African orphan thing." Whos say some people don't percieve it as worse? Also we all know it's worse their, but seriously these stupid rants people do are incredibally annoying. It is depressing, and horrible, and it does suck, maybe not for you , but for lots of people it is. Why do you think the teen suicide rate is so high.

If your coming to ridducule the depressed people dont come to the thread full of 'em.

[Hoggy]

The africa/indonesia/wherever thing irks me as well.

Of course they're worse off. I know that. Thing is, I also know I'm about a million miles away from being a saint, I'm only human and I'm self-centered. Oh, my bad. I'll try fix me asap.

[ocato]

I think the thing that is being missed here is that this isn't walking down the street screaming "Waaah, I have problems, everyone pay attention to me!" This is a thread that is specifically made for people to vent about problems or depression. Coming here and telling people to buck up and can it is sort of missing the point. I mean, if we were at the VFW sitting around national heroes with missing limbs and breathing machines, and these guys were like "this girl doesn't like me, I'm super duper sad" then maybe I can see you getting a little miffed at a lack of outside awareness. But that isn't really the case. Yes, no matter who you are or what is going on, someone has it worse. But that does not mean that you cannot be upset about something in your life, or that it isn't sometimes a relief to vent to a caring, sympathetic ear or two. Sometimes having people go 'Yeah, that's rough, but she doesn't sound like she's worth the trouble' or something can make you feel better. So, let people vent. They aren't hurting you. No one has a gun to your head making you read it.

[The Great Skenardo]

I'm not a moderator, but I would like to point out, as others above have said, that there are some times that a broader perspective is quite helpful when you're feeling sad. As Bor has mentioned before, though, sometimes there's a sadness that simply cannot be helped by being told to "get over it." I think many people take offense at being told that because it's almost akin to accusing them of being henously self-centered or telling them that their own sadness isn't legitimate. Sorrow doesn't come with an off switch; especially that triggered by a tendency of the brain. To tell someone to "just get over it" even if their problem is minor in the big picture, rings of contempt.
I like to think that people come to this thread because they either have something on their minds that they want said, or they're looking for advice or sympathy. On the other side, you might come to this thread looking to give advice or support. I know I appreciated all the various people who have given me advice and sympathy in the past, even if I know that my issues aren't a patch on some of the stories I've heard on this thread.
Shall I feel guilty for being troubled about such a minor thing as a relationship? No.

Now that said, I have a definite sympathy for some of the troubles people have posted about high school problems; throughout elementary school, I wasn't exactly a pariah, but I was pretty unpopular. (With the benefit of hindsight, I see I wasn't exactly personable: something of a know-it-all and a smartass.) Short of drastically changing who you are, it may be difficult to change quickly the opinions of your peers, assuming you would even wish to do so.
I suppose my advice is to resist the temptation to withdraw into yourself and take solace in cynicism and sarcasm; you might have gained the verbal firepower to revenge yourself on your tormentors, but you lose the ability to gain friends. If having a conversation with you is to toss back a shot of vinegar, it won't be much of a suprise if no one makes the effort.
The ideal thing is to find people whom you like. Peers among peers, as it were.

[J_Muller]

I'm not ridiculing anyone. And I'm not complaining either. I'm just pointing out that it's not as bad as people say it is.

All I'm saying here is that you should think more about how good your life is, and less about the comparatively few parts of your life that are bad. Because, frankly, why let those few parts get to you?

[heretic]

While you're right, Muller, this was the wrong place to post as much.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Really? This (

Bor, you know we all miss you. You'll be back, and often.


I suppose it's time for me to do some unloading of my own...

High School. Does not. Suck. Seriously, get over it. Compared to starving orphans in Africa, you're living in the lap of luxury. Your life could be so much worse than it is now. I mean, sure, it's not perfect. But nothing ever is. It's not going to be the best time of your life, but damn if it couldn't be ten times worse. Everyone makes adolescence out to be so horrible and depressing, but it's not.

) says that you lack the Empathy involved in this thread. You think that this hasn't occured to most people? Because it does, and because of it, they feel they cannot speak or get help about it. It's a problem that needs to be solved, and and complaining about complaints never help. Sure it could get worse. We all know that, what we want to do here is find ways to make it better, for it's a fool who plays it cool by making the whole world a little bit colder.

Now, no more of "It could be worse," and start with the "Here's what you can do to make it better."

[J_Muller]

Really? This (
) says that you lack the Empathy involved in this thread. You think that this hasn't occured to most people? Because it does, and because of it, they feel they cannot speak or get help about it. It's a problem that needs to be solved, and and complaining about complaints never help. Sure it could get worse. We all know that, what we want to do here is find ways to make it better, for it's a fool who plays it cool by making the whole world a little bit colder.

Now, no more of "It could be worse," and start with the "Here's what you can do to make it better."

Who says I lack empathy? I've got tons of empathy. What I'm trying to say is that you'll be happier if you focus on the good in your life instead of the bad.

[Vonriel]

Who says I lack empathy? I've got tons of empathy. What I'm trying to say is that you'll be happier if you focus on the good in your life instead of the bad.

If you have tons of empathy, start showing it. You are walking into a room full of people who are seeking ways to become "happier" and telling them the secret is just being happy! I mean, it's so simple, they should've realized it, right? And then they start getting down on themselves for not quite realizing that it was that simple, and then they feel even worse when they realize that it isn't that simple, but they wish it could be. And then they start to feel worse because they stopped trying to find ways to become happier, and started in on this chain. But then they start to feel worse because it's so simple, they should've realized it..

In case you haven't noticed, saying what you are is just starting a cycle of depression. It's not helping anyone, and is in fact counterproductive. Please, keep comments constructive, not destructive.

[Ego Slayer]

What I'm trying to say is that you'll be happier if you focus on the good in your life instead of the bad.

If you can cure yourself by thinking this, than good for you... Hate to break it to you, but it doesn't really work like that. I, for one, can be so depressed the best things I have can go nothing to help me. No, that's not being ungrateful...

EDIT: Also, comparing ones self to those worse off can be even more depressing...

"Ah! I've been stabbed! I'm bleeding!"
-"Tbth, it's not that bad, you could've had your leg cut off."
"There's blood flowing from my chest, aren't you going to help me?!?"
-"No, because you still have both of your legs."
"But this could get worse! I could get infected or bleed to death."
-"Then you'll do so with both legs, so, I think you're still better off then some people."
* First Person Passes Out *

You make a very good point with this.

[J_Muller]

You are walking into a room full of people who are seeking ways to become "happier" and telling them the secret is just being happy!

You're exactly right. That's precisely what I'm doing. Because you know what? I have no ideas otherwise. If I had anything better to offer, I'd be offering it. This is all I have at this point.

Now, you ask: Why speak up at all then? So I ask you: Why not?

[Rex Idiotarum]

You're exactly right. That's precisely what I'm doing. Because you know what? I have no ideas otherwise. If I had anything better to offer, I'd be offering it. This is all I have at this point.

Now, you ask: Why speak up at all then? So I ask you: Why not?

Because it's insensitive and will get you yelled at for the next page.

[J_Muller]

Because it's insensitive and will get you yelled at for the next page.

The day I let potential negative reaction influence whether or not I take part in a discussion is the day they lower me into my grave.

[Vonriel]

Now, you ask: Why speak up at all then? So I ask you: Why not?

Why not? You really have to ask? You honestly think it is better to walk into a room and make depressed people even more depressed than to sit back and let others try and help them?

[zeratul]

The day I let potential negative reaction influence whether or not I take part in a discussion is the day they lower me into my grave.

We appreciate the fact that you want to make people feel better, but if you know you can't, and that it will neggatively affect people you shouldn't do it.

You shouldn't stop because people will yell at you, you should stop because it could neggatively affect people.

[J_Muller]

Why not? You really have to ask? You honestly think it is better to walk into a room and make depressed people even more depressed than to sit back and let others try and help them?

Where the hell did you get the idea that was my intention? If I can't offer what works best for me, then I think the rest of you need to re-examine what you're doing here.

[Vonriel]

Where the hell did you get the idea that was my intention? If I can't offer what works best for me, then I think the rest of you need to re-examine what you're doing here.

I got that idea from the fact that you said what you did without stating that that's what works best for you, without saying that you realize that not everyone can be helped in the same way, without even bothering to mention that you're sorry if you cause anyone even more grief. So sorry if I misunderstood the intentions behind the speech.

I think the problem is that the advice was given without thought to how it would be received, which is the worst kind of advice to give. That particular advice that may help you also happens to be the hardest for someone who is actually depressed to find useful. It will almost always make them feel worse than better, because they start to dwell on why they cannot just be happy.

[J_Muller]

I got that idea from the fact that you said what you did without stating that that's what works best for you, without saying that you realize that not everyone can be helped in the same way, without even bothering to mention that you're sorry if you cause anyone even more grief. So sorry if I misunderstood the intentions behind the speech.

It's the Depression Thread. Those things are an assumed prefix here, if I'm not mistaken. In any event, they should be--hell, I'll just go edit them into my post if you really need to see them in writing.

[Rex Idiotarum]

Okay, let's stop this before another DT gets locked. J, just, if you don't know how to help, just don't help. You don't give someone who's choking an Aspirin.