The Depression Thread

[averagejoe]

YEah, I have decided to no longer be a lurker on this thread/ the old thread.
It's kinda hard to say.. er, type and sorry if it irks anyone but, as others I need to unload so here goes....
I have now entered junior high, with all it's changes. Into a bigger school, more class changes etc. My problems are that I have never had a talent for making freinds, and the few I had from last year treat me like an outsider and a freak. Even doing clubs and such no one there shares more then one intrest with me. I have a a sense of morals, maturity and culture which no one else has. No one beats me up, as nerds seem to be more excepted yet people frequintly insult me. I am pretty much alone all the time. The one girl I ever liked openly dumped me adding to my humiliation, so my adolesince is pretty much screwed as everyone laughs at me. I can't concentrate in class so my marks have gone down. Also,another problem is everyone will move on ahead with me and spread my reputation.
Finally I have to act "tough" to not get beat up.

Thanks, if you read this for putting up with it. If anyone has a problem I'll try too help.

I have two rather broad pieces of advice. I know that there's not just one solution to these sorts of problems, so you can take it or leave it, this is just what worked for me.

1) Don't sweat people laughing at you. They only care because you do. I'm not talking about how you should react, I'm telling you to realize it doesn't matter, and just not get humiliated. People tell me that it doesn't work like that, but I'll swear on a stack of DM's guides that it does. It's like wiggling your ears; completely impossible, but then extraordinarily easy when you figure out which muscles to pull.

2) You say, "I have a a sense of morals, maturity and culture which no one else has." Maybe this is true; I can't say. However, if I have learned one thing over the years, it's that it's really easy to prejudge people in this matter, especially if you're "smart."

If you'll indulge me, I'd like to share a story from my high school days. To cut a long story slightly less long, I'll say only that some complications forced me to transfer schools my senior year of high school, so, while it sucked big time, I also got a bit of a fresh perspective on things. I remember there was this girl, as there often is, but not like that. I was never actually attracted to her, nor did I ever consider her to be desireable. In fact, I didn't even like her much. She was popular, seemed kinda whiny, was involved in all sorts of clubs/school functions, was probably in student government (I have no idea, I've never paid any attention to it), was rich and a bit spoiled (I would overhear her before class talking about going on weekend visits to other countries), always asked really dumb questions in class, was disliked by the people I got to know as pretty cool people, and, to top it all off, wore all the right clothes and was blonde. Now, I never actually hated her, or wished her harm, but I kind of automatically rolled my eyes whenever she spoke. I've always been too polite a person (or, looked at from a certain point of view, too cowardly) to get confrontational with people, and treat everyone more or less the same way, so I'm pretty sure that she thought that I was a pretty alright guy on a personal level. Not anyone worthy of special attention or anything like that, just someone who she didn't dislike. However, to me she was just a kind of dumb person who stood for the sorts of things that I didn't.

Enough with the background and onto the interesting bits. I remember having spoken to her once, near the end of the year. I was giving something or other to some canned food drive or clothes drive or something, and she happened to be one of the people running it. Now this by itself didn't mean anything to me, because those sorts of things look good on a college application. However, she told me that she was really glad that I gave what I did, because there was some immediate concern for the people who it would be going to. It just kind of hit me right there. She wasn't just some ditzy blonde popular rich girl, she was someone who genuinely cared about other people, and tried to do her bit to help out. Then I thought that maybe she didn't ask those dumb questions because she was stupid, maybe she did so because she was honestly trying to learn and understand, to better herself. I know it reads like a bad Aesop, but that's how it happened, and I honestly never looked at her with contempt after that, and gradually began to stop looking at other people the same way.

All I'm trying to say is that maybe things would be easier if you stopped looking down at people. I know well the feeling of being better, smarter, more morally upright than everyone around me. That was me for most of my adolescence, and sometimes still is. However, if I've learned nothing else in my lifetime, I've learned that people will suprise you with their worthwhile traits if you bother to put yourself in their shoes for a moment.

Enough with these fables! I swear, I'm becoming an old man long before my time.

[DarkLightDragon]

Slaanesh: By clubs I assume you mean in-school clubs. Try finding an out-of-school activity, such as a youth group. That may help with your not-very-social problem. The people at my youth group are quite friendly and fun to be around.

Anyway, I myself am starting to improve on the social thing. I find it easier to talk to some people, but I still have problems with most people. Hell, I've even made a friend!

But I'm not so good physically at the moment. I'm extremely tired, coughing and snorting nonstop, throat is very dry and sore and I just feel like crap. I stayed home from school today, and may tomorrow if I'm still not feeling well.

I just hope I pass year 11. I don't know if my marks have improved enough and I haven't completed all of a program I need to complete by the end of the year, although I am trying to find ways to do so. But if I don't make it, I'll probably go study multimedia stuff. That's what I'd rather be doing anyway. Next week is my last week of this school year. Thank goodness.

[Skippy]

Hi guys.

I'm a bit depressed since yesterday, you know?

Did anyone here see Monday's chapter of Heroes?

Well, this is why I'm a bit depressed: For a moment, I despised Hiro Nakamura. I hated him. I understood Kensei's actions. I would have done the same.

I got depressed because I found out I haven't entirely forgotten what happened to me almost a year ago. I should have been over it a long time ago, and yet it still hurts when I remember.

Not asking for advice or anything, I just wanted to rant a bit.

[Serpentine]

DLD, don't sweat it, at least not too much. The worst thing you can do is burn yourself out. If you have that back-up of multimedia studies you really don't need to worry about it, and if you do want to get into uni, if you do happen to not get the score needed for the degree you want there are plenty of backdoor ways in (if you're in NSW, you'll have that cheap-arse "Principle's Rec" to rely on straight away). If you do fail, there is absolutely no reason to think it's the end of the world, and I very much doubt that's likely to be a probability.

[Inhuman Bot]

Yes, thanks for the advice. My being alone has kind of given me a somewhat overinflated opinion of my self so there is that. The Cultured etc. part comes from I can appreceiate real art and music, behave and talk without saying stuff such as: BULL**T A** BIT* etc.
@micate this is pobly is nott good advice but do things you might be able do is, for example go to social events that are public or sign up for groups. If you are overparinoid, that might be something like stress or lack of sleep unless you have always been like that. I will try to get better advice when I can.

(sorry for ncorrect spelling, my keyboards still not working)

[Micate]

I try to do what I can, and yea, I've been paranoid most of my life (although its never been nearly this bad before, started getting bad some time in the last year or so, although it was probably escalating slowly prior, I just tend not to notice things like that). Mostly, I'm content living in my bubble, I don't mind being a hermit. I just needed to rant, hunger tends to make me cranky.

Thanks Slaan, though, for trying.

[Lykan]

Image Heavy Spoiler:

Spoiler

Show

Some of you know that I have issues with almost constant bleeding. Fewer in that number are aware that almost 95% of the time, such bleeding is caused by me digging into my skin to rid myself of myriad bumps, bruises, bug bites, or when just reopening my own scabs for almost no reason. I realize that I mostly do this when under stress (and given that it’s the school year, it’s basically constant), though I have no way of stopping it.

I feel like I HAVE to do it... When I do, I feel better... It feels right when it’s done.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I really, really want to stop. It’s driving me crazy that my face hurts on a constant basis, that my hands are always bloody, and that this seems to be a cause of major concern in my parents.

Before you ask, yes, I am seeing a shrink. He’s a quack. He finds that it’s curative to have me stare at a bouncing light for some 25 odd minutes while I contemplate something violent to that would let me get out of the guy’s office early.

Oh, I’d like to bring up the fact that I’m been digging out a new hole while writing this message... Guess I’m stressed even when I’m talking with friends.

I apologize for my horrible attempts at self photography.

[Serpentine]

Lykan, I think it's time to get a new psychologist. It could just be a particularly ingrained habit, though, like... ionno, picking your nose or clicking a pen, though perhaps with something like a bit of obsessive compulsion? I'd suggest that it might be worth trying to replace it with something else, say tearing paper, or clicking a pen. You don't want to get infections and/or scars.
Also, that reminds me, do you have all those word drawing thingies somewhere?

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Image Heavy Spoiler:

Spoiler

Show

Some of you know that I have issues with almost constant bleeding. Fewer in that number are aware that almost 95% of the time, such bleeding is caused by me digging into my skin to rid myself of myriad bumps, bruises, bug bites, or when just reopening my own scabs for almost no reason. I realize that I mostly do this when under stress (and given that it’s the school year, it’s basically constant), though I have no way of stopping it.

I feel like I HAVE to do it... When I do, I feel better... It feels right when it’s done.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I really, really want to stop. It’s driving me crazy that my face hurts on a constant basis, that my hands are always bloody, and that this seems to be a cause of major concern in my parents.

Before you ask, yes, I am seeing a shrink. He’s a quack. He finds that it’s curative to have me stare at a bouncing light for some 25 odd minutes while I contemplate something violent to that would let me get out of the guy’s office early.

Oh, I’d like to bring up the fact that I’m been digging out a new hole while writing this message... Guess I’m stressed even when I’m talking with friends.

I apologize for my horrible attempts at self photography.

Fear not, our friendly neighborhood lycanthope! Bor, your friendly neighborhood barbarian monk is here to help you with the unfriendly neighborhood head-shrinker. Here, then, are the very words you can use on this moron you're seeing. You can choose to print it up and read it to him, memorize it and recite it, or simply print it and hand it to him on your next visit.

Are we all ready? Then let's get to it, shall we?

Dear Dr. Git,

The time has come for one of several actions to take place. Before I get to those actions, I believe it's important to review the reasons I've come to you.

I came for help. This obsessive compulsion I have for picking at my various wounds is completely uncontrolled. I am a bleeding, scarred mess. If I am repulsed by my weeping sores, I can only imagine how the rest of the world reacts. My emotional state is causing my to crumble, and my regular visits to you are doing absolutely nothing to resolve the matter. Watching a bouncing light in an effort to teach me a relaxtion technique actually has managed to add to my stress. You, my dear Dr. Git, are not doing your job.

Yes, I realize I am responsible to a degree for my own actions. However, I need real help in learning how to not literally tear myself apart. I don't know how to do that on my own. Thus, we come to the various actions that must take place.

1. You can stop playing the "money syphon game." By this, I mean that almost half of my sessions are spent with me staring at a light, while you are overpaid for my doing so. It's not working. We both know it's not working. And the fact that you know this is merely a display of your greed. You keep me as a patient to get paid, not to help me. You have four more sessions to start making a genuine effort to help me, and then I will seek out someone who can.

2. If you truly believe that you are incapable of helping me, refer me to someone who can. The doctor who doesn't know other doctors is no doctor at all. A man of intelligence knows when he is overwhelmed and makes a referral. I honestly don't care if you send me off to your arch-nemesis in the field of psych-care; the methods you disagree with may well be exactly what I need. Whomever you send me to, your thought should be, "If I can't help, maybe this other doctor can."

3. Finally, you can do nothing. Surrender to the fact that you are inept and unable to assist me in my problem, and set me free to find my own help. I'm in dire need of aid, and I will fight on my own to get it if necessary. Option number two at least offers a chance for some self-esteem, in which you still manage to take appropriate action in helping me. This action - number three - is proof that you are the quack I think you are.

There. The words are out. And I know some part of you wants to engage in psychoanalysis of what's been said. I'll tell you now that if you attempt to do so, and I am aware of it, I will take that precious clock you watch - you know...the one you keep an eye on so you can tell me when the sessions are over - and beat you about the head and neck with it. (Okay...not a real threat. But you're a psychologist, so you should have a true understanding of the phrase, "It's the thought that counts.")

The ball is in your court, Dr. Git. What's it going to be?

Sincerely,
Your Desperate Patient

[Ego Slayer]

Lykan, I'm glad you decided you post here. *Whispers to everyone else* I've been trying to tell him that it definitely seems he needs a new psychologist, so... knock some sense into him, for me, please! ^_~

*Hugs Lykan*

[Micate]

I second Bor's note. And do tell us how he responds, that looks like it might be interesting. I wanna know what color the doctor's face turns when he sees/hears that.

[sktarq]

I wanna know what color the doctor's face turns when he sees/hears that.

I'm betting purple with hint of green.

[wadledo]

Well, I feel bad taking the spotlight away from Lykan, I should probably talk about this at some point.
After trick-or-treating with some old friends on Halloween, I went home, stayed up late, went to sleep, and then slept through my alarm till about 11ish. My parents had called the school to tell them I wouldn't be there, and I woke up, started down the stairs, got less than halfway down, and fell feet first the rest of the way, smashing my leg in the process. Not a big thing in all, but I have been having a crappy week.
On Sunday I finally acknowledged that my 76-year-old grandmother is in the hospital with a broken hip, and has to stay there for the next 5 weeks.
On Monday I am told I will be in a group project with a girl who has hated me since kindergarden, along with a very intelligent, but exceedingly cold and defensive girl who also doesn’t like me, apparently.
On Tuesday a favorite hat of mine is taken by a friend's friend who returns it after another friend of a friend of a friend says, "You're going to have to burn that glove to get his germs off."
On Wednesday I don't dress up in my costume, a giant lobster that I've worn for the past 3 years, also using it as a mascot for a local restaurant for a summer, and a number of people told me that they like the lobster better than me. I also realized how much I need somebody to say, "He's feeling sad" and mean it, and how much I miss the friends that moved on last year.
So I’m out with friends (different than those who graduated) and the entire time I keep thinking I really hate these people and the only reason I’m here is because of a girl who I don’t particularly like.
And I end up at the bottom of a flight of stairs, holding my leg and trying not to cry at life’s little joke that is me. 15 minutes later the pain goes down enough that I walk to the kitchen, make some tea and a sandwich, and bite into ham and moldy bread.
I wasn’t sure which was worse, ‘cause I’m a sort of vegetarian.
Now I feel tired to the bone, I feel the need to spend the next 48 hours outdoors (and there's going be 50+ mile per hour winds where I live), and I just accidentally ate some hamburger.
This week is not going well for me.

[Volug]

THEY STOLE YOUR HAT?!?!?! THOSE EVIL MONSTERS!!!!
*Picks up axe and hunts hat-stealers down* (Joking! )

I love my hat! My pimpin' red hat makes me who I am

THough enough of that. Some people don't have their weeks, usually doing everything with a smile or just making people feel strange because your smiling all the time makes the difference.
I take things with a good attitude unless it is REALLY serious. Some things you sadly have to grin... and bear it... Everything will work out in the end and I hope your week gets better! Be happy and have a hug! *HUG!*

..... Where's my hat?

[Lykan]

Alright... I'll go see if I can change my shrink... I'll let you guys know how well that goes in a few...

Bor, the letter may be unrequired, though I still found it quite funny. I may try reading it anyway, though. Just for you people. =P

*hugs Ego back* ^_^

[Lilly]

All of my friends are getting married, or moving more towards domesticity. All of them. There are 4 other girls and one guy that I'm real close friends with. One of the girls is getting married to the guy, one is getting married in about 2 weeks to another fairly good friend (and they just bought a house!), one is having a baby (due any day now), and one just got engaged (I just got off of a very giddy phone call). I feel like I'm very behind in life, or at least relationship wise.

I have a long distance sweetie, and he's great, but the 1300 miles I just moved is just added maybe 15% to the distance.

All my friends are moving forward in their lives, and I just moved back in with my parents. I'd gotten over most of this a couple of months ago, but then two more engagements happened, and when I go see them all in two weeks, they'll be trying to set me up with everyone, up to and including the best man in the wedding.

Do I want to catch up? Part of me does. This is the part controlled by hormones, and keeps having dreams about babies (and swamps, and shopping centers). But the rest of me wants to go to pharmacy school. And have an adventure.

I just need to feel okay about not being more domestic. Why hasn't the movie "River Tam Beats Up Everyone" been made? That seems like the movie I need to watch. Also the side effects of birth control pills mimic early pregnancy, mood swings are joy on a stick.

[SurlySeraph]

Well, I feel bad taking the spotlight away from Lykan, I should probably talk about this at some point.
After trick-or-treating with some old friends on Halloween, I went home, stayed up late, went to sleep, and then slept through my alarm till about 11ish. My parents had called the school to tell them I wouldn't be there, and I woke up, started down the stairs, got less than halfway down, and fell feet first the rest of the way, smashing my leg in the process. Not a big thing in all, but I have been having a crappy week.

That sucks. Sorry. That's simultaneously very ironic and very terrible.

On Monday I am told I will be in a group project with a girl who has hated me since kindergarden, along with a very intelligent, but exceedingly cold and defensive girl who also doesn’t like me, apparently.

I've been there. Many times. Just act very impersonal, don't make jokes, and avoid looking at them, and they'll be happy.

On Tuesday a favorite hat of mine is taken by a friend's friend who returns it after another friend of a friend of a friend says, "You're going to have to burn that glove to get his germs off."

Quite a bastard. Sorry about that.

On Wednesday I don't dress up in my costume, a giant lobster that I've worn for the past 3 years, also using it as a mascot for a local restaurant for a summer, and a number of people told me that they like the lobster better than me. I also realized how much I need somebody to say, "He's feeling sad" and mean it, and how much I miss the friends that moved on last year.

I know how that gets. Sorry, no help I can give you; people are just bastards like that sometimes. Can you still talk to your friends online? That usually helps.

So I’m out with friends (different than those who graduated) and the entire time I keep thinking I really hate these people and the only reason I’m here is because of a girl who I don’t particularly like.
And I end up at the bottom of a flight of stairs, holding my leg and trying not to cry at life’s little joke that is me. 15 minutes later the pain goes down enough that I walk to the kitchen, make some tea and a sandwich, and bite into ham and moldy bread.

Sorry. Really, really sorry. Wish I could help with that.

I wasn’t sure which was worse, ‘cause I’m a sort of vegetarian.
Now I feel tired to the bone, I feel the need to spend the next 48 hours outdoors (and there's going be 50+ mile per hour winds where I live), and I just accidentally ate some hamburger.
This week is not going well for me.

If it was an accident, you don't need to feel bad about it. It's not your fault. Just go eat something you actually want to eat and be done with it. As for the wind... stay inside. You don't want to risk going out in the wind when your leg's hurt like that. Just look out the window, it's better than doing nothing.

[wadledo]

Thanks Surly

All of my friends are getting married, or moving more towards domesticity. All of them. There are 4 other girls and one guy that I'm real close friends with. One of the girls is getting married to the guy, one is getting married in about 2 weeks to another fairly good friend (and they just bought a house!), one is having a baby (due any day now), and one just got engaged (I just got off of a very giddy phone call). I feel like I'm very behind in life, or at least relationship wise.

I have a long distance sweetie, and he's great, but the 1300 miles I just moved is just added maybe 15% to the distance.

All my friends are moving forward in their lives, and I just moved back in with my parents. I'd gotten over most of this a couple of months ago, but then two more engagements happened, and when I go see them all in two weeks, they'll be trying to set me up with everyone, up to and including the best man in the wedding.

Do I want to catch up? Part of me does. This is the part controlled by hormones, and keeps having dreams about babies (and swamps, and shopping centers). But the rest of me wants to go to pharmacy school. And have an adventure.

Come down to the cape this weekend!
I'm going to be flying kites in Noel!
If any of you see a person in an orange windbreaker go flying past your window, you'll know where I've been.
And bring chicken!

[Sisqui]

Before you ask, yes, I am seeing a shrink. He’s a quack. He finds that it’s curative to have me stare at a bouncing light for some 25 odd minutes while I contemplate something violent to that would let me get out of the guy’s office early.

I'm going to quote one of my previous posts:

Spoiler

Show

I don't know if this applies to your reasons for being uneasy or not but one thing I have noticed is that people will put their doctors in the dominant role in their relationship. They seem to assume that the doctor is in control and then they take this pill and change that habit etc... based on what the doctors say. But a doctor is a private contractor. YOU have hired HIM. He is the employee. Seeing the relationship that way can be very empowering in that you get to be much less shy about asserting yourself. After all, you are the one footing the bill. If you don't like the quality of the work or his personality- FIRE HIM!

You have to take the initiative- you have to take charge of your health. It is YOUR responsibility. The doctor is an advisor, YOU are the decider. And if you don't get assertive, if you just sit there and do whatever the doctor tells you (or worse, if you feel like telling your doctor what is wrong is just whining and wasting his time) YOU WON'T GET BETTER! And it won't be the doctor's fault. YOU have to get a doctor you are comfortable with. YOU have to get a doctor who will listen to your complaints. YOU have to get a doctor who doesn't make you feel as if you are a petitioner begging for his attention within the confines of his own private sanctum. Whether it is your depression or some other aspect of your health, you can't just tell your MD "Well, whatever you decide" as if HE is the one with the most interest in the outcome of the decision. And most of all, you have to accept that you have the RIGHT to demand these things. If your doctor doesn't measure up- like I said, fire him. You don't need a second rate employee deciding your health issues for you. But, that comes with a caveat: if you take back the decision making power that is rightfully your own- YOU are the one ultimately responsible. You aren't going to hurt the doctor any by keeping your medical complaints to yourself. YOU are the one who will suffer for it. You wouldn't want an electrician rewiring your house unless he knew all the pertinent facts. You shouldn't want your doctor medicating you with less than full disclosure on your part either. That is YOUR responsibility.

Good luck to you though.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Alright... I'll go see if I can change my shrink... I'll let you guys know how well that goes in a few...

Bor, the letter may be unrequired, though I still found it quite funny. I may try reading it anyway, though. Just for you people. =P

*hugs Ego back* ^_^

But you just GOTTA let him hear/see those words, if only to get a reaction by calling him "Dr. Git!"

@ Wadledo: Look, if you want to be me that badly, just say so and I'll give you my current life. The falling down, the social outcast thing...Been there, done that, got the tee shirt, joined the club, AND got the jacket! We're now considering a complete uniform.

In all seriousness, it's called life. It happens while you're making other plans. Just hang on to hope, get through those rough years of "growing up," and you'll discover that the market for friends is much larger than the confines of a school.

[Skippy]

All of my friends are getting married, or moving more towards domesticity. All of them. There are 4 other girls and one guy that I'm real close friends with. One of the girls is getting married to the guy, one is getting married in about 2 weeks to another fairly good friend (and they just bought a house!), one is having a baby (due any day now), and one just got engaged (I just got off of a very giddy phone call). I feel like I'm very behind in life, or at least relationship wise.

I have a long distance sweetie, and he's great, but the 1300 miles I just moved is just added maybe 15% to the distance.

All my friends are moving forward in their lives, and I just moved back in with my parents. I'd gotten over most of this a couple of months ago, but then two more engagements happened, and when I go see them all in two weeks, they'll be trying to set me up with everyone, up to and including the best man in the wedding.

Do I want to catch up? Part of me does. This is the part controlled by hormones, and keeps having dreams about babies (and swamps, and shopping centers). But the rest of me wants to go to pharmacy school. And have an adventure.

I just need to feel okay about not being more domestic. Why hasn't the movie "River Tam Beats Up Everyone" been made? That seems like the movie I need to watch. Also the side effects of birth control pills mimic early pregnancy, mood swings are joy on a stick.

Yes, it sucks when there's love all around and one is the lonely, weird one. I hate it when it happens. I just recommend to don't rush things. I know it sounds stupid, redundant and doesn't help at all, but it's the only thing that I know does not end in pain for someone.

And I'd also love to watch River Tam Beats Up Everything. It ought to be done. We should found the "Playground Productions" and get it done, you know...

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Okay...This time, I'm not here to rant. I'm not here to inspire. I'm here...to thank you folks.

On 10/28, on this very thread, I made mention of The Suicide Note: Memoirs of an Insulin Dependent Diabetic. I also mentioned that it was in dire need of updating/editing. Well, the next day, I opened up the file and started working on it. Thus far, it has grown from 90 pages to 115; an approximate word count growth of 7400. (Grand total 35,350 words.) It needs more. It's getting more.

And it would seem that the kick in the pants I needed to get back to work on it was you people.

Sisqui in particular. I may disagree with "snap out of it" when it comes to mental health. It's hard to alter your way of thinking when the chemicals in your brain are doing goofy things to the way you think. When it comes to poor diabetes care, I believe "snap out of it" should be taken to the next level..."Snap out of it or I will beat you senseless."

Yesterday, I went to the bank to get my rent. (Silly management won't let me use my debit card.) While there, I stuck up a conversation with the security guard that wandered the outside of the bank, watching people come and go, looking for suspicious characters. While he continued to perform his duties, we got into a conversation about common sense, which is usually anything but common.

It should be noted here that he is a Vietnam War veteran, was in the marines for 10 years, and worked for the Department of Defense for another 10 years. This level of experience means that he is no fool.

We spoke of things not permitted on these forums, specifically religion and politics. Sorry...can't tell you what we covered there. But as we went on with our chat of common sense, I started using diabetes education as an example of where the problem can start. There's no common sense in the education! "If you don't take care of yourself, you could lose your legs." Period. That's usually where the education stops. No one goes into the step-by-step process of HOW a diabetic goes from healthy to limbs being amputated. The Suicide Note does, even though I haven't had parts cut off just yet.

My security guard friend was fascinated to suddenly learn more about the process. What's more, he said that if I ever got it published, he would be very interested in buying a copy. That kind of recognition, prior to even having a reason to be recognized, felt good.

He did one other thing that actually put some spring into my limping gait. (Broken big toe, remember?) He thanked me. He spends his entire shift watching the doors of a bank, with usually nothing else to do but think. He was ultimately glad to have someone come along and engage him in stimulating conversation.

So, thank you GitPers...for helping me kick my depression symptoms a bit and actually be productive.

[banjo1985]

Wow that's great news Bor

I'm glad we forum goers have contributed at least a little to your good feelings!

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Wow that's great news Bor

I'm glad we forum goers have contributed at least a little to your good feelings!

Each smile I get...Each "thank you" I receive...That's one free endorphin boost that helps me battle my symptoms. I can never thank some of you folks enough.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Each smile I get...Each "thank you" I receive...That's one free endorphin boost that helps me battle my symptoms. I can never thank some of you folks enough.

Heh. It's the wrong way around Bor.

SOme of us can never thank you enough. How many forumites have you volutarily aided in this thread or privately? I don't know but there's a lot of us. You're a kind of emergency room doctor and specialist surgeon all in one who will react rapidly to solve emergency crises or aid us over time and help our esteem, emotions and pretty much everything become happier and healthier.
What's more surprising is that you do it without pay! All you expect in return is nothing. What you receive is heartfelt thanks or indeed, nothing.
And to those thanks and compliments you often act as if they were nothing or that your ego is currently on holiday and unable to accept them. You deserve these compliments so enjoy them.
You're a future best seller and better than a shrink or a proffessional person.

In mickey of your sig: Be well Bor

[Skippy]

Indeed. Bor, you are one of the most incredible people I've ever... Well, not exactly met, but I think you get the picture. You have been inspiration to lots of people, and you have given strength to people who needed it. I am one of them. I'm very glad that one of your projects is coming to fruition, and I really hope your book is good enough to get translated and sold in Mexico, so I can get one.

Thank you, Bor. You are magnificent.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Heh. It's the wrong way around Bor.

SOme of us can never thank you enough. How many forumites have you volutarily aided in this thread or privately? I don't know but there's a lot of us. You're a kind of emergency room doctor and specialist surgeon all in one who will react rapidly to solve emergency crises or aid us over time and help our esteem, emotions and pretty much everything become happier and healthier.
What's more surprising is that you do it without pay! All you expect in return is nothing. What you receive is heartfelt thanks or indeed, nothing.
And to those thanks and compliments you often act as if they were nothing or that your ego is currently on holiday and unable to accept them. You deserve these compliments so enjoy them.
You're a future best seller and better than a shrink or a proffessional person.

In mickey of your sig: Be well Bor

Indeed. Bor, you are one of the most incredible people I've ever... Well, not exactly met, but I think you get the picture. You have been inspiration to lots of people, and you have given strength to people who needed it. I am one of them. I'm very glad that one of your projects is coming to fruition, and I really hope your book is good enough to get translated and sold in Mexico, so I can get one.

Thank you, Bor. You are magnificent.

Gah! You people and your compliments! Thanks for the extra work. Now I, with my broken toe, have to go out and find my ego, which is now bloated and roaming free...somewhere, and have to stop it from trying to eat Arizona! What's more, people are going to want to have me bronzed again. Or frozen in carbonite. Neither sounds like a pain-free experience.

Now, in all seriousness, I appreciate the words, sentiments, etc. But please don't forget all the others who come here and do their best to lend their aid to those in need. This is a group effort. Various perspectives rise from our debates on how best to combat an issue that appears on this thread, as well as numerous other threads that pop up. We are a true community, with our various strange characters, and we tend to work together. (Not sure who plays the role of town idiot, but he/she helps from time to time as well. )

I am not a savior. I am not a saint. I am a man, who fights a daily battle, and shares his experiences, good and bad, with the wondrous community I've found. And it's TOGETHER that we help one another.

Now...all of you running off to find materials to build a temple unto me...STOP! Just go forth and be well.

(By the way...my PayPal account is...oh...never mind.)

[Ego Slayer]

(By the way...my PayPal account is...oh...never mind.)

Bor, if I had any money...

[Raiser Blade]

(By the way...my PayPal account is

Joy and jubilations!! Finally someone who wouold be willing to take all this extra money my long dead billionaire uncle gave to me.

...oh...never mind.)

..Oh well i guess i will end up giving Bill Gates that loan afterall.

[zeratul]

Bor is hardcore. Now publish that book, because I need something to read before I reread Lord Of The Rings. So chop chop! And to finish.......

BOR FOR PREZ IN 2007!

( )