D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

[Inevitability]

I get a new thread.

I insert three skeletons, one of which does exist anymore.

[Orm-Embar]

You get a red devil mask.

I insert a ghost.

[Emperordaniel]

You get Mort Fun Time.

I insert a femur.

[GuesssWho]

You get a Fomor.

I insert the whole Unseelie Court.

[Prince Zahn]

You get a bloodthirsty redcap to your FAAACE.


I insert a feykiller grenade to go off inside the machine.

[Fii]

You get a mimic.

I insert the Tarrasque.

[Inevitability]

You get a great earthquake. Also, the sun becomes black as sackcloth of hair and the moon becomes as blood.

I insert light.

[Dire Moose]

You get the rest of the electromagnetic spectrum right in your face.

I insert TPBM's pants.

[Insane Trystane]

You get a day's calorie count scribbled on the back of a receipt with a smiley face on it.

I insert a skeleton. EDIT: The one that didn't exist anymore from the first post in the thread.

[Emperordaniel]

You get a corpse missing its skeleton.

I insert a newt.

[GuesssWho]

You get a witch.

I insert a dragon.

[Inevitability]

You get a dragon egg, which hatches to reveal a rather confused gnome.

I insert an anthropomorphic fish with levels in paladin.

[Prince Zahn]

You get Cod Commando.

I insert an industrial revolution.

[Ninjaman]

You get a blender

I insert a king with lepocracy

[GuesssWho]

You get leprosy.

I insert the Ex-Leper from Life Of Brian.

[Inevitability]

You get some angry religious people.

I insert a magmin.

[Prince Zahn]

You get a galeb duhr ejected at 87 mph. Meanwhile, the machine goes up in flames.

I insert a water weird.

[Emperordaniel]

You get an unusual sea creature.

I insert Saurornithoides mongoliensis.

[Drynwyn]

You get a chicken that has had it's feathers replaced by jurassic-park-dinosaur-style shrink-wrap scales.

I insert the ~2 years since I last frequented this subforum.

[Inevitability]

You get the 13.8 billion years you didn't frequent the subforum.

I insert a black mage.

[Prince Zahn]

You get an Onion Knight.

I insert a Chocobo bird.

[Emperordaniel]

You get a Kinder egg.

I insert a thank-you note.

[Insane Trystane]

You get a pop-up Christmas card.

I insert a candelabra.

[Drynwyn]

You get a vibrating square.

I insert a blessed luckstone.

- - - Updated - - -

You get a vibrating square.

I insert a blessed luckstone.

[GuesssWho]

You get a stone with a hole in it, through which you can see Faeries.

I insert a very angry Queen of Air and Darkness, and then back away hurriedly.

[Jon0113]

You get a note saying "you have caused the downfall of the democratically elected government of candy land and the death of 2.5 million people. You monster."

I insert a note of apology and a £5 gift card.

[Prince Zahn]

You get cheap flowers that look like they came from the gas station. The gnomes is sorry too, If the card attached to the flowers is to be trusted.

I insert a box of really expensive tissues.

[Inevitability]

You get a very expensive tissue box.

I insert a non-orientable surface on which the notions of beginning and end are meaningless.

[GuesssWho]

You get a beach ball.

I insert a LOT of sand.

[Emperordaniel]

You hear an explosion, see a blinding light emitted from various openings in the machine, and get a lump of radioactive glass.

I insert an RTG.