[3.5/PF] GitP Regulars as Plagues/Poisons/Diseases/Positoxins/Ravages/Afflictions

[LoyalPaladin]

I'm just going to sit here and wait. I'll get to smite all these undead soon...

[Snowbluff]

I'm just going to sit here and wait. I'll get to smite all these undead soon...

Nah, you can cycle down. We've banished most of them when we said mindless undead don't exist.

Sry guyz.

[LoyalPaladin]

Nah, you can cycle down. We've banished most of them when we said mindless undead don't exist.

Sry guyz.

Torm's Second Law: A paladin that's begun smiting, shall not waste his smite attempt.

[Snowbluff]

Torm's Second Law: A paladin that's begun smiting, shall not waste his smite attempt.

Ugh, fine. Smite me then.

The things I do for you *angry mumbling*

[LoyalPaladin]

Ugh, fine. Smite me then.

The things I do for you *angry mumbling*

Torm's 385th Law: Read the SRD

If the paladin accidentally smites a creature that is not evil, the smite has no effect, but the ability is still used up for that day.

You're Lawful Neutral, Chaotic Neutral at worst. Which brings us back to Torm's second law...

It's okay, I once held a smite in for three days.

[Red Fel]

It's okay, I once held a smite in for three days.

Well, you know, if it lasts for more than four hours...

[LoyalPaladin]

Well, you know, if it lasts for more than four hours...

I get seven of these things a day. I saw my local cleric about it once, he told me if wasn't bad for my health and to come see him again if it ever breaks 15. He also told me not to hold smites in for more than 103 hours. Not sure what happens then.

[NeoPhoenix0]

I get seven of these things a day. I saw my local cleric about it once, he told me if wasn't bad for my health and to come see him again if it ever breaks 15. He also told me not to hold smites in for more than 103 hours. Not sure what happens then.

you need a small party of paladins with a total of 108 smites. Everyone needs to name their smites. For example your first smite of the day could be named Bob. Then you will become very attached to your smites and begin to personify them.

[illyahr]

I've always considered mindless undead as survivalists. They are fueled by negative energy. Since positive energy reinforces living creatures and harms undead and negative energy does the opposite, then the two energies must function like matter and antimatter: they negate each other.

A mindless undead attacks living for the sole reason that positive energy is anathema to undead. They are only "evil" in that they do, in fact, kill people. They don't think about it, they only see a source of positive energy and to them positive energy = lethal.

[LoyalPaladin]

I've always considered mindless undead as survivalists. They are fueled by negative energy. Since positive energy reinforces living creatures and harms undead and negative energy does the opposite, then the two energies must function like matter and antimatter: they negate each other.

A mindless undead attacks living for the sole reason that positive energy is anathema to undead. They are only "evil" in that they do, in fact, kill people. They don't think about it, they only see a source of positive energy and to them positive energy = lethal.

I actually really like this argument. I'm going to use it in the future.

[illyahr]

I actually really like this argument. I'm going to use it in the future.

I had a LN halfling necromancer who used mindless undead as tools of his trade. He was a gravekeeper with max ranks in Know:Religion. Whenever his party killed creatures, he offered prayers to the primary gods of that creature's race to carry their soul into the afterlife. He actually hated when people became intelligent undead or came back to life, viewing it as unnatural and actively viewed those who had been raised or resurrected as abominations to nature. He was fine with the Druid's reincarnation spell. That moves the soul forward, not pulling it back.

I have a lot of time to think about things like this.

[khadgar567]

I had a LN halfling necromancer who used mindless undead as tools of his trade. He was a gravekeeper with max ranks in Know:Religion. Whenever his party killed creatures, he offered prayers to the primary gods of that creature's race to carry their soul into the afterlife. He actually hated when people became intelligent undead or came back to life, viewing it as unnatural and actively viewed those who had been raised or resurrected as abominations to nature. He was fine with the Druid's reincarnation spell. That moves the soul forward, not pulling it back.

I have a lot of time to think about things like this.

well he is a use full guy it may help in the situation as he pulls a prayer for npc race out of wild blue for their slain comrades

[Draconium]

I had a LN halfling necromancer who used mindless undead as tools of his trade. He was a gravekeeper with max ranks in Know:Religion. Whenever his party killed creatures, he offered prayers to the primary gods of that creature's race to carry their soul into the afterlife. He actually hated when people became intelligent undead or came back to life, viewing it as unnatural and actively viewed those who had been raised or resurrected as abominations to nature. He was fine with the Druid's reincarnation spell. That moves the soul forward, not pulling it back.

I have a lot of time to think about things like this.

This is a brilliant idea. I would totally play a necromancer like that - if I liked playing minionmancers at all. But I don't. Though I may still create a necromancer with a similar attitude who focuses on fear effects and other sorts of debuffs.

[Snowbluff]

Torm's 385th Law: Read the SRD


You're Lawful Neutral, Chaotic Neutral at worst. Which brings us back to Torm's second law...

It's okay, I once held a smite in for three days.

Neutral? Sure, let's go with that.

I've always considered mindless undead as survivalists. They are fueled by negative energy. Since positive energy reinforces living creatures and harms undead and negative energy does the opposite, then the two energies must function like matter and antimatter: they negate each other.

A mindless undead attacks living for the sole reason that positive energy is anathema to undead. They are only "evil" in that they do, in fact, kill people. They don't think about it, they only see a source of positive energy and to them positive energy = lethal.

That's the case for intelligent/"natural" undead, but I couldn't find any precedent for acting without orders. *shrugs*

[IZ42]

Neutral? Sure, let's go with that.

Warning: TVTropes.

[NeoPhoenix0]

Torm's 385th Law: Read the SRD


You're Lawful Neutral, Chaotic Neutral at worst. Which brings us back to Torm's second law...

It's okay, I once held a smite in for three days.

I got it. There is a bomb down the hall that will collapse a dam killing thousands. The only thing in your way are some LN guards just doing their job. You are holding your smite. Quick what do you do.

[IZ42]

I got it. There is a bomb down the hall that will collapse a dam killing thousands. The only thing in your way are some LN guards just doing their job. You are holding your smite. Quick what do you do.

Ermmmm... I got this: you send the monk in to distract them by being lawful and stuff (hopefully allowing him to eat their souls afterwards for his hard work) and you walk by like you own the place. Or send the rogue so they can actually defuse the bomb, which is the smart thing to do. But you're a paladin, so we don't expect you to pick the smartest option.

[Snowbluff]

I got it. There is a bomb down the hall that will collapse a dam killing thousands. The only thing in your way are some LN guards just doing their job. You are holding your smite. Quick what do you do.

Oh, simple. Collect the spines. Form them into a jump rope. They won't be using them anyway, right?

Spines spines spines. They once were yours, but now they are mine.

Ermmmm... I got this: you send the monk in to distract them by being lawful and stuff (hopefully allowing him to eat their souls afterwards for his hard work) and you walk by like you own the place. Or send the rogue so they can actually defuse the bomb, which is the smart thing to do. But you're a paladin, so we don't expect you to pick the smartest option.

Speaking of paladins...

Oh LP, would you be a dear and collect a list for me?

[unseenmage]

I got it. There is a bomb down the hall that will collapse a dam killing thousands. The only thing in your way are some LN guards just doing their job. You are holding your smite. Quick what do you do.

Simplest answer is obviously to overcomplicate things. Particularly by animating the bomb and commanding it not to explode. Later you mass produce lesser versions of the animated bomb and have them explode at your leisure. Except that having them explode would be a waste of resources so they get to instead be on perpetual standby.

A thought occurs.
Why is it that when dragons do it it's called Hoarding and everyone fights for the chance to see such a glorious sight but when artificers do it its called hoarding and there's a tv show about how gross it is?

[LoyalPaladin]

I got it. There is a bomb down the hall that will collapse a dam killing thousands. The only thing in your way are some LN guards just doing their job. You are holding your smite. Quick what do you do.

Probably send in one of my good friends that is a monk to distract the-

But you're a paladin, so we don't expect you to pick the smartest option.

Someone isn't getting any souls.

Spines spines spines. They once were yours, but now they are mine.

Hahaha. I mean... let's not do that.

Speaking of paladins...

Oh LP, would you be a dear and collect a list for me?

Only if you'll be a dear and look over this for me.

[LoyalPaladin]

Previous - Sweep #1 - Next

Submissions
Hoarding Disease (Draconium)
Yandere-itis (Snowbluff)
Divine Affliction (LoyalPaladin)
Phoenix Fever (NeoPhoenix0)
Flower Venom (Snowbluff)
Artist Bane (Marlowe)
Torm's Malady (LoyalPaladin)
Draconium Fever (Draconium)
The Clap (Bards, Illyahr?)
Fel Blight (Red Fel)
Twisttongue (Jormengand)
Curse Mind (Jormengand)
Shadepox (Xuldarinar)
Rubbleskin (unseenmage)

[Amphetryon]

I am not yet a pox on anyone's houses. Fiddlesticks.

[LoyalPaladin]

I just spent the last 40ish minutes cleaning up my extended signature. Holy Torm... at least now there is a semi-complete way to view all the old GitP Regulars as X threads.

[yellowrocket]

Fiddle sticks disease

A common affliction effecting elderly adventures. It causes cramping of the hands and prevents the ability to pick up anything more substantial than a handful of sticks.

10-14 day incubation period
1 str damage per 2 days of infection non fatal
Transmitted through contact with infected
Can be treated through restoration, but only remove disease will cure

Originated in haunted forest

[LoyalPaladin]

Fiddle sticks disease

The best of responses. Hahaha.

[Draconium]

A thought occurs.
Why is it that when dragons do it it's called Hoarding and everyone fights for the chance to see such a glorious sight but when artificers do it its called hoarding and there's a tv show about how gross it is?

Because dragons are supposed to hoard things. It's an integral part of our nature, like breathing, sleeping, and eating. That, and usually dragon hoards are quite nice to look at, unlike other types of hoards.

[LoyalPaladin]

Snowbluff, your inbox is full.

Because dragons are supposed to hoard things. It's an integral part of our nature, like breathing, sleeping, and eating. That, and usually dragon hoards are quite nice to look at, unlike other types of hoards.

I agree with the second part, but you could argue that hoarding is part of a hoarder's nature as well and that there should be a TV show about excessive dragon hoarding. Did Smaug really need that much gold?

[Draconium]

I agree with the second part, but you could argue that hoarding is part of a hoarder's nature as well and that there should be a TV show about excessive dragon hoarding. Did Smaug really need that much gold?

Well, you see very nearly every dragon hoarding, but not nearly every human. Hoarding is a part of dragon nature as a whole, but not a part of human (or elf, construct, outsider, etc...) nature. Under most circumstances.

And Smaug got all that gold from the dwarves, the only other race I can think of (right now) that has a similar nature. Now, did he need it all? Probably not. Did the dwarves? Of course not, that's how you get dragons.

[LoyalPaladin]

Well, you see very nearly every dragon hoarding, but not nearly every human. Hoarding is a part of dragon nature as a whole, but not a part of human (or elf, construct, outsider, etc...) nature. Under most circumstances.

And Smaug got all that gold from the dwarves, the only other race I can think of (right now) that has a similar nature. Now, did he need it all? Probably not. Did the dwarves? Of course not, that's how you get dragons.

This conversation is causing my Dragonlance PTSD to flare up again. I hung up my +5 Large Dragonmetal valorous dragon bane lance almost two years ago, but I'm having a hard time not grabbing it right now.

[Draconium]

This conversation is causing my Dragonlance PTSD to flare up again. I hung up my +5 Large Dragonmetal valorous dragon bane lance almost two years ago, but I'm having a hard time not grabbing it right now.

Well, then, my apologies. I'll try not to induce a PTSD-smiting-rage in you from now on.

Although, now that I think about it, a TV show about dragon hoarders could be entertaining. At the very least, you'd never run out of dragons to film, as long as any remain in that plane.