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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Orc in the Playground
     
    LoopyZebra's Avatar

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    Default LoopyZebra Comics

    http://loopyzebra.smackjeeves.com/

    With two comics, and an unoriginal title, I now feel secure enough to post this here. It's not fantasy-themed, mind you, but I think it's funny. If it gets even half of Half-Wit's (Quarter-Wit?) popularity, I'll be happy.

    So, please PEACH away.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bosssmiley View Post
    First off LoopyZebra, you win an Internets for:

    The Most Lulz-ish Thread Title Ever Posted
    (By Someone Other than VT)
    In Soviet Russia, PS3 still sucks.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Orc in the Playground
     
    LoopyZebra's Avatar

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    Default Re: LoopyZebra Comics

    No comments here? Not even to say it sucks? :-/

    C'mon people. I can take (and would like) some criticism.

    ((Daedrous left a set of comments on the comic, but I'd like more than one set of commentary if possible. Please?))
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    Quote Originally Posted by bosssmiley View Post
    First off LoopyZebra, you win an Internets for:

    The Most Lulz-ish Thread Title Ever Posted
    (By Someone Other than VT)
    In Soviet Russia, PS3 still sucks.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    ElfLad's Avatar

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    Default Re: LoopyZebra Comics

    Funny, but the art needs a bit of work. In the first comic, the mouths are open and in the same position in all panels and The expressions are mostly the same from panel to panel. Never forget that an already funny comic can greatly benefit from changing visuals. For example, in the first comic, we could have seen Stanford's eyes in a "dramatic close up with a tense expression showing that he means business before zooming out to see that he's in some sort of gymnasium or classroom.

    Second comic, people's eyes are rarely open during a sneeze. It's a small thing, but a closed-eyes grimace in the second panel offers a more unique visual and fits more with the "Achoo!" than the puppy-dog eyes he has. And third panel, the eyebrows could be thicker, and if you tilted the head back, it would make him look angrier.

    It seems like I'm ripping into the art, but that's because the jokes are already very funny. And the art isn't bad, it's just too repetitive. Strive for variety. Go the extra mile to make the expressions more expressive.

    And it's a bit late, but I learned the hard way that plugging a comic early is bad news. You don't give the readers enough time to see whether something is funny or whether its something they like, and often they won't be impressed by what they see and won't come back later. It's a good comic you have, but there's barely any of it.
    a secret to everybody.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Orc in the Playground
     
    LoopyZebra's Avatar

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    Default Re: LoopyZebra Comics

    Thank you for the input. I agree; I'll spend more time with the facial expressions.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bosssmiley View Post
    First off LoopyZebra, you win an Internets for:

    The Most Lulz-ish Thread Title Ever Posted
    (By Someone Other than VT)
    In Soviet Russia, PS3 still sucks.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Orc in the Playground
     
    LoopyZebra's Avatar

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    Default Re: LoopyZebra Comics

    Update. Like I said there, the text is a bit hard to read, but I probably won't have time to fix it until later this week. Got that whole "scholarship and college" thing to apply for.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bosssmiley View Post
    First off LoopyZebra, you win an Internets for:

    The Most Lulz-ish Thread Title Ever Posted
    (By Someone Other than VT)
    In Soviet Russia, PS3 still sucks.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Captain van der Decken's Avatar

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    Default Re: LoopyZebra Comics

    Its funny, very nice.
    I WILL round this Cape, even if I have to keep sailing until doomsday!
    Engaged in A Spat with Jibar.
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    Decken by Ceika
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    Devil Lord-to-be and proud member of the Baatezu Lovers club!

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