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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Enlong's Avatar

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    Default You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    Yo. This is my first attempt at homebrewing a monster. This is part of my possible entry for the Library Lovers contest, so a good amount of constructive criticism and suggestions would be very welcome.


    The thief snuck silently through the library. He knew what he was looking for and where he could find it. Eventually he came to the right shelf, and grabbed a copy of the spell book. The wizard who had come to him had offered a great amount of coin for this book, and anyone who knew him knew he loved money. As he made his way to the door, he almost felt that this was far too easy. There weren’t any guards on duty, no doors had been locked, and the book was just sitting out there in the open. It was as if the person who owned this library didn’t even think it was necessary to keep his possessions protected. “Ah well, not my fault if they can’t properly guard their books”. As he was about to cross to the door outside, his body froze. Unable to move, he could only hear it at first, a large fluttering noise, as if from a large flock of birds. Only as he was surrounded did he realize that these were no birds.
    These were
    books.

    Book Leigon
    Small Construct (Swarm)
    HD 13D10 (81 HP)
    Speed: Fly 60 Ft (Good) (12 squares)
    Init: +2
    AC 12; touch 12; flat-footed 10
    BAB/Grapple: +9/-
    Attack: Swarm (3D6)
    Full-Attack: Swarm (3D6)
    Space: 10 ft.; Reach: 0 ft.
    Special Attacks: Imprison; Group Imprison; Hold Monster Spell-like Ability
    Special Qualities: Damage Resistance 5/Slashing Piercing
    Saves: Fort +4 Ref +7 Will +8
    Abilities: Str 10, Dex 15, Con -, Int 13, Wis 18, Cha 13
    Skills: +10 Hide, +20 Listen, +20 Spot
    Feats: Hover, Wingover, Dodge, Improved Initiative, Quicken Spell-like Ability
    Environment: Houses, typically houses full of books.
    Organization: Single (1), Pair (2), Collection (3-4)
    Challenge Rating: 7
    Treasure:
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Advancement: 12-15 Small

    Description:
    You hear a fluttering noise and turn around. Hovering in the air is a large number of books. They are all open halfway and are flapping their covers as if they were wings. Though they are devoid of eyes and ears, it could not be plainer that they can see and hear you, as you continue to stare at them. They remain fixed on you, and begin to float toward you, and it is obvious from their motions that they are angry at you.


    A Book Legion is a group of sentient books that protect other books from theft. They can be found in the private libraries of the wizards who created them, finding a certain irony in a book thief being punished by books. They hide among the other books, and while they are not fighting, appear to be absolutely nothing more then blank hard-covered tomes. When they see that someone is trying to steal something, the books collectively leave their shelves and attempt to punish the thief.

    Combat:
    A Book Legion will try its hardest to retrieve any stolen items from its opponent before Imprisoning it. Generally, they will attempt to pinpoint the person who has the stolen goods (if there are multiple targets) and use its Hold Monster Spell-like ability to keep it from moving. It will then inhabit the space it is in and attempt to take back the stolen goods before using its Imprison ability.

    Imprison: One of the books in a Legion will open to a page with a square picture of swirling blackness. The swarm will then attempt to touch the page to some area of exposed living tissue on the target. This is a regular attack at full BAB, and can be used as a full-round action. If it succeeds, then the subject must make a Fortitude save, with a DC of 16. If the subject fails his save, then the subject appears to be pulled into the square and vanishes. The creature affected by this finds itself trapped in a demiplane that appears to be nothing but a field of utter darkness. Within this space, the creature does not age, nor does it require food or water, however, it cannot harm the Book Legion from that area, and cannot make use of any abilities that would take it out of that plane. If the Book Legion is defeated, then any creatures that were trapped by Imprison appear in the area where the Book Legion was upon defeat.

    Group Imprison: If multiple Book legions are adjacent to one that attempts to use Imprison, then the save DC for Imprison raises by 3 for each adjacent Book Legion.

    Hold Monster: As the spell. The save DC for this is Wisdom-based (19)

    There you go, what do you think? Is it any good?
    Last edited by Enlong; 2008-11-23 at 12:25 AM.
    Awesome Avatar by Shattersnap.

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    Many thanks to El Goonish Shive for the banner image.

    Give a player a fish, and he’ll probably try to sell it to an NPC fisherman.

    Teach a player to fish, and next week he’ll show up with the book, “The Complete Adventuring Fisherman”. He’ll start hunting for some monstrous leviathan to catch and enslave, and he’ll be dual-wielding two fishing poles.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Fixer's Avatar

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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    Points of Note:

    Swarms do not normally make attack rolls, so the Imprison ability gets awkward. You also do not list any sort of saving throw versus that ability. (Should be Cha based, though.)

    You should list the Spell-Like Abilities below the entry so you can give their saving throws.

    Explain the special qualities better. The way it reads it has DR 5/slashing, and some sort of other special undefined qualities.

    Where did these come from and how is it that they come to select places to inhabit if they do not reproduce normally? (as constructs, something or someone had to make them)
    The easy I do before breakfast,
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    Searching For... Goldenrod
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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    GnomePirate

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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    Good idea. Firstly could you bold the subheadings such as "combat:" just to make it eayer to read. secondly you havn't given it and initive yet.it should be +2. lastly the DR, the Slashing, Piercing, Fire, Acid should have or not a comma. appart from that it's a good build

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Enlong's Avatar

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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    Well, it is a swarm, but it still has a BAB, and I thought that was the easiest way to record a hit or miss. Which save should it be? Mabye FORT. to resist the pull? I'll fix up the other stuff in a sec.
    Awesome Avatar by Shattersnap.

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    Many thanks to El Goonish Shive for the banner image.

    Give a player a fish, and he’ll probably try to sell it to an NPC fisherman.

    Teach a player to fish, and next week he’ll show up with the book, “The Complete Adventuring Fisherman”. He’ll start hunting for some monstrous leviathan to catch and enslave, and he’ll be dual-wielding two fishing poles.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Enlong's Avatar

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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    There we go. Initiative added, stuff cleaned up, general backstory given to the monster. Now what do you think?
    Awesome Avatar by Shattersnap.

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    Many thanks to El Goonish Shive for the banner image.

    Give a player a fish, and he’ll probably try to sell it to an NPC fisherman.

    Teach a player to fish, and next week he’ll show up with the book, “The Complete Adventuring Fisherman”. He’ll start hunting for some monstrous leviathan to catch and enslave, and he’ll be dual-wielding two fishing poles.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    I think it's fantastic personally. Not really in a position to comment on the mechanics, but I love the idea of the monster, and the visual I have in my head.

    I could make suggestions, but they'd just be personal preference relating to flavor, and would serve to do little more than make an excellent monster needlessly complex.

    Nice job, good luck in the context.

    (the one question I do have, since I know there's an artifact in them thar library, is why the save DC is so low? Are there other, bigger, monsters in the library? if there are, I'd sugest finding a way to relate the DC to the opponent in some way.)
    Recent Ancient Attempts at homebrewing :

    Daoist(Prc), Kinderhorror (MitP:8-0), Gribble(MitP: 11-1), Shardfiend(MitP:8-0), Sun Tyrant(MitP:6-0), Sunworshiper(MitP: 3-0),Spidaren (MitP: 7-0), Movie Themed Feats

    Any & all advice and opinions, and votes, are welcome

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Enlong's Avatar

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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    Quote Originally Posted by Poppatomus View Post
    I think it's fantastic personally. Not really in a position to comment on the mechanics, but I love the idea of the monster, and the visual I have in my head.

    I could make suggestions, but they'd just be personal preference relating to flavor, and would serve to do little more than make an excellent monster needlessly complex.

    Nice job, good luck in the context.

    (the one question I do have, since I know there's an artifact in them thar library, is why the save DC is so low? Are there other, bigger, monsters in the library? if there are, I'd sugest finding a way to relate the DC to the opponent in some way.)
    Oh. Very good question. Let's see... well... how about I make it based on the Cleric spell instead? That'd make it Wisdom-based (the better score for this thing) and sixth-level, making it a much better DC.

    Unfortunately, I hadn't thought of any other monsters. I was planning on some fiendish puzzles and traps instead. Plus there's the fact that there's more then just one of these babies in the library (a lot more).
    Awesome Avatar by Shattersnap.

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    Many thanks to El Goonish Shive for the banner image.

    Give a player a fish, and he’ll probably try to sell it to an NPC fisherman.

    Teach a player to fish, and next week he’ll show up with the book, “The Complete Adventuring Fisherman”. He’ll start hunting for some monstrous leviathan to catch and enslave, and he’ll be dual-wielding two fishing poles.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    That actually might be another way to raise the DC. If there are a bunch, you could have it raise based on the number within a certain range as well.
    Recent Ancient Attempts at homebrewing :

    Daoist(Prc), Kinderhorror (MitP:8-0), Gribble(MitP: 11-1), Shardfiend(MitP:8-0), Sun Tyrant(MitP:6-0), Sunworshiper(MitP: 3-0),Spidaren (MitP: 7-0), Movie Themed Feats

    Any & all advice and opinions, and votes, are welcome

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Enlong's Avatar

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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    Okay, I fixed it. How does it look?
    Awesome Avatar by Shattersnap.

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    Many thanks to El Goonish Shive for the banner image.

    Give a player a fish, and he’ll probably try to sell it to an NPC fisherman.

    Teach a player to fish, and next week he’ll show up with the book, “The Complete Adventuring Fisherman”. He’ll start hunting for some monstrous leviathan to catch and enslave, and he’ll be dual-wielding two fishing poles.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Matthew's Avatar

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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    I'm a bit confused. Is this a Small Swarm or is the Swarm made up of Small Constructs? I'm not clear on how Swarms exactly work, but I think your Hide Skill calculation may be off.

    Skill Points = [16 x (2 + 1)] = 48 Skill Points or three Skills with 16 Ranks. Seems to me like Hide should be 16(18), what am I missing?
    It is a joyful thing indeed to hold intimate converse with a man after one’s own heart, chatting without reserve about things of interest or the fleeting topics of the world; but such, alas, are few and far between.

    – Yoshida Kenko (1283-1350), Tsurezure-Gusa (1340)

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Kyace's Avatar

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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew View Post
    I'm a bit confused. Is this a Small Swarm or is the Swarm made up of Small Constructs? I'm not clear on how Swarms exactly work, but I think your Hide Skill calculation may be off.
    Swarms are a large group of creatures so small they have to enter a square to threaten. Typically, to prevent having to keep track of hundreds of tiny or smaller creatures, the swarm as a whole is considered to take up four 5-foot squares, roughly the same size collectively as a large creature but the four squares can be in any shape. Normally swarms are made up of creatures whose size is listed as smaller than "small", since as noted above, swarms can't make attack rolls, they deal damage to any creature whose space they end their turn in. The swarm subtype is merely the reflection of modeling a large number of creatures as a single psudo-creature, they lose some of weakness normal creatures have (such as critical hits and flanking).

    Enlong, you may wish to reconsider making the books "small" as 3 feet tall is quite large for a book. Making them a swarm, tiny books won't have to threaten other squares to be dangerous. Unless the books have hive mind ability, you may wish to remove the ranks of hide and instead give them a bonus to blend in with normal books in a library or something like the gargoyle's freeze ability.
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  12. - Top - End - #12
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: You think library fines are bad? (Monster)

    For the record, fire and acid are not valid types for bypassing DR. DR is only effective agienst physical damage, not energy, magical, divine, ect. Giving the create resistance to electricity and cold would make sense however (as objects they shouldn't have resistance to sonic, the last energy type.)
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