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    Default [MitPII] The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Iames Osari
    Announcement: With polls disabled, votes should be posted in the threads themselves or PMed to myself and Fax. Format your votes like this so that it will be easier to pick them out from the rest of your post: MitP Vote: Yes or MitP Vote: No. Thank you.
    This is my first attempt at a homebrew monster. A series of undead creatures based around a slime like substance/infection. Anyway;

    Venomfleshed
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    A young doctor knocked on the front door of the manor. He had received word that the lord of the manor had contracted a mysterious illness and needed immediate medical attention. There was no answer.

    Remembering his oath ("Never pass up the opportunity to save a rich man's life") he decided it was too urgent to wait and let himself in. The moment he entered the door there was a bitter smell and silence.

    "Hello?", he called, "I heard my services were needed..."
    He trailed off as he spoke, feeling that not only shouldn't he be making a noise but he shouldn't even be there. Suddenly the eerie silence was broken by a gurgling sound.

    He turned to see the source of the noise, a young women in a maid's uniform was standing nearby.

    "Are you alright...miss?"

    Then suddenly the figure broke into a fast walk towards him, making a squelching noise. As she (was it still a she, was it ever?) approached he saw that the figure was a horrible pale green as if it were made of slime.

    Terrified he swung out at the monster with a nearby chair. It passed though its flesh and hit what he was sure was bone. It grabbed him and he struggled but its grip was too tight. Suddenly it released him. Then it resumed its attack, trying to club him with its fists. He grabbed whatever he could and swung at it until it fell to the ground.

    Breathing heavily he then noticed the smell again, it reminded him of almonds. Suddenly he realised that the slime on his arm was the source of the smell, maybe it was toxic? He quickly wiped it off and froze in horror.

    His skin tone had changed to the greyish green of the slime.




    Venomflesh
    Medium Undead
    HD 3d12 (22 HP)
    Speed 40 ft. (8 squares) or 5 ft. (1 square), see below
    Init: +0
    AC 12; touch 9; flat-footed 12
    (-1 dex + 3 natural)
    BAB +2 Grp +3
    Attack Slam+3 melee (1d6+1) or grab +3 touch (1d6+1) or Thrash+3 melee (1d4), see below
    Full-Attack Slam+3 melee (1d6+1) or grab +3 touch (1d6+1) or Thrash+3 melee (1d4), see below
    Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
    Special Attacks Venomflesh Rot, see below
    Special Qualities Single actions only, damage reduction 5/blunt, darkvision 60 ft., undead traits
    Saves Fort +0, Ref 1, Will +3
    Abilities Str 12, Dex 8, Con n/a Int n/a, Wis 10, Cha 1
    Skills n/a
    Feats toughness
    Environment Any
    Organization Any
    Challenge Rating 5
    Treasure None
    Alignment Always Neutral Evil
    Advancement None
    Level Adjustment n/a

    Venomfleshes are a type of poisonous zombie. Victims of the Rots they suffer from and carry have their flesh turn into the slime that gives them their name. They are formed from medium sized humanoids with endoskeletons that contract the Rot. They move with a squelching sound and they produce a bubbling noise when they recognise potential victims, the remains of lungs or gills having air forced out of them cause this. Mouths/gill slits etc will always have bubbles near them for this reason. Infected flesh smells of almonds.

    Improved Grab (Ex) One of the Venomflesh's arms will be stronger and have an enlarged hand, this is its main weapon (the other being a slam attack). On a successful hit it may grapple an opponent to hold onto them without provoking an attack of oppertunity as its round action. If it can maintain the grapple for a round the victim must make a DC 10 (plus 2 per round of grapple) fortitude check or contract the venomflesh Rot (see below). They must make a new save every two rounds they are grappled. The creature will release a successfully infected victim the following round.

    Venomflesh Rot (Ex) This unpleasant affliction is responsible for the creation of venomfleshes. Upon contracting it the victim will suffer 1d4 points of constitution damage per hour (Save DC 15, Fortitude). The Rots may be cured by restoring constitution equal to that which has been lost. A paladin's lay on hands may be used if they apply it directly to the infected area and restore hit points equal to 3 times the amount of constitution drained (it doesn't matter if the sufferer is at maximum health), this removes the Rots and the constitution returns at a rate of one point per minute. If too few hitpoints are restored the paladin risks contracting the Rot themselves (DC is equal to difference between the amount healed and the amount required). Anyone who succumbs to Venomflesh Rot rises as a Venomflesh 1d6 hours later, as long as they are medium sized humanoids with an endoskeleton. Creatures with no flesh are immune. Any creature smaller than medium who dies of Venomflesh Rot simply collapses into a pile of the slime, as does any creature with no endoskeleton (exoskeletons will simply rupture). Any creature larger than medium will rot before its flesh can be converted. Non humanoid creatures have the same stats but lack the co-ordination to move properly and thus only move 5 feet per round and lose all the "normal" Venomflesh attacks in favour of flail. Venomflesh is not a template, all previous stats, skills etc are lost.

    Flail (Ex) When a non humanoid Venomflesh is adjacent to a living creature it will thrash around madly. If it hits there is a 10% chance per point of damage that the target will have a chunk of Venomflesh slime smeared on them. If this happens the Venomflesh takes damage equal to 1/4 of its maximum hp.

    Venomflesh Slime (Su) A Venomflesh is basically just a skeleton covered in this slime instead of flesh. If slime is applied to the flesh of a living thing it must make a saving throw as if it was being grappled by a Venomflesh until the slime is removed. Slime which is exposed to water (including moisture in the air) will decay within an hour if it is separated from a "living" Venomflesh, but it can be stored indefinitely in an airtight container. Many mages will pay huge sums for Venomflesh slime but vendors should tread carefully as it has many sinister uses. Once decayed it becomes a normal chunk of rotting meat (from the creature that was infected).

    Combat

    Venomfleshes may only take a single action per round.
    Upon sensing a living creature (whether or not it can be infected) a Venomflesh will take the quickest route towards it and attempt to infect it with a grapple attack, releasing it if it succeeds. If there are no uninfected living creatures within its range of sight it will attack its infected victims with its grab and slam attacks until they are dead. If it grapples a creature which is immune to Venomflesh Rot it will grapple it until the creature breaks free or the Venomflesh is destroyed.

    Venomfleshes are the same size and shape as the humanoids they form from. They cannot speak any languages.


    Venomlich
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    "Good evening" said a voice from nowhere, "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Count Veneficus, Lord of the Manor"

    A skeletal figure stepped into the light cast from the torches.

    "I heard you were unwell..." said the doctor, unable to stand by now.

    "Oh, it was just an experiment of mine" Came the reply "But thank you for your concern, I'll be sure to put you to good use"


    A venomlich is a template which can be placed over an existing liche. To become a venomlich all a standard liche must do is place their phylactery in a pit or container of Venomflesh slime large enough to hold their body and they will regenerate as one next time they are killed (this only works if the phylactery is place in the pit by the lich themself). If a venom liche's phylactery is removed from the slime then it is immediately slain and must regenerate as normal. In addition to the normal liche abilities a venomliche gains the following. Venomliches have a green tinge to their bones and trace amounts of slime about their person.

    Venompit This pit takes the form of a pit dug into the ground (like a grave) or a stone walled container (like a sarcophagus). It must have enough space to fit the lich's body when it regenerates, as well as its phylactery. It must be filled with the Venomflesh slime of 3 medium sized creatures (*3 for every size category above medium, /3 for every size category below) and rare oils to prevent the slime decaying (costing 1000gp for every square foot of surface area) must be allowed to float on the pit's surface. When the pit is dug the oils are added, then fresh venomflesh may be added at leisure until the pit is filled. The phylactery is then dropped in and allowed to sink to the bottom. Finally the lich must step into the pit and cast Desecrate. The lich's body is immediately destroyed if the phylactery is removed

    Command Venomfleshed (Su) A venom lich may command any venomflesh within 60ft as a free action. They must be able to speak to issue commands.

    Infect With Venom (Ex) A lich who hits a living creature with an unarmed strike forces them to make a fortitude save of DC 20 or contract Venomflesh Rot.

    Weakening Aura (Su) Anyone infected with Venomflesh Rot who is within 60ft of a venomlich takes a -2 penalty to saves against the affliction and loses an extra point of constitution per hour.

    Antivenom (Ex) Should they wish, a venomlich may cure someone of Venomflesh Rot. This action grants them temporary hitpoints equal to the constitution damage. The victim does not have their constitution restored.


    Venomflesh Golem
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    The doctor sat in a cold cell, his flesh restored to its original colour. This was not reassuring. In front of him, separated from him by the bars, was a corpse, or more precisely several stitched together. Veneficus turned from his work to the whimpering man and said

    "If its any compensation you're going to be part of something great. One sixth to be exact"


    Venomflesh Golem
    Huge Construct
    30d10 + 30 HD 195
    Speed 40 ft. (8 squares)
    Init: -2
    27 (-2 size, -2 Dex, +21 natural) touch 6; flat-footed 27
    BAB +23; Grp +43
    Attack Slam +31 (4d8+13)
    Full-Attack 2 slams +42 melee (4d8+13)
    Space 15 ft.; Reach 15 ft.
    Special Attacks Fleshball
    Special Qualities Construct traits, damage reduction 5/adamantine, darkvision 60 ft., immunity to magic, low-light vision
    Saves Fort +13, Ref +12, Will +13
    Abilities Str 30, Dex 7, Con , Int , Wis 11, Cha 1
    Skills n/a
    Feats n/a
    Environment Any
    Organization Solitary, Gang (1-2 + 4-6 Venomflesh), 1 + 1 Venomlich
    Challenge Rating 12
    Treasure None
    Alignment Always Neutral
    Advancement 28-35 HD (Huge); 36-40 HD (Colossal)
    Level Adjustment n/a

    A venomflesh golem is a huge construct made by exposing a flesh golem to the slime. It has its arms coated in metal and fills the area its in with a bitter smell.

    Fleshball(Ex) The Golem removes a chunk of its own flesh and throws it at any square within 30 feet. Any creatures within 15 feet must make a reflex save of DC 25 or be coated with slime. It takes a full round action for every 5 points they failed their save by to remove all the slime. Using this attack reduces its HD by 1d4 each time.

    Venom Beacon(Su) Any Venomfleshes which sense the golem will follow it unless instructed to do otherwise by a Venomlich.

    Construction

    To create a Fleshvenom Golem you must have Access to a Venom Pit large enough to hold a huge creature and a flesh Golem. The creator also needs 1000 GP worth of high quality iron smelted into two large tubes. A special adhesive (costing 200gp) is used to attach the tubes to the flesh golem's arms. The golem is then ordered to enter the Venom Pit and left to incubate for a week (in this time a lich may not use the pool to regenerate until the golem has been finished). After a week all the flesh golem's origianal spells must be cast upon it again to finish it (animate dead, bulls strength, geas/quest, limited wish).

    CL 12th; Craft Construct, (animate dead, bulls strength, geas/quest, limited wish) x 2, caster must be at least 8th level; Price 20,000 gp; Cost 11,700 gp + 1560 XP.
    Last edited by BisectedBrioche; 2007-06-22 at 06:24 PM.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed [MitP]

    *shudders* Someone really has to end the trend of creating all there gruesome creatures for MitP. I mean, it's summer, people! People shouldn't have all these dark ideas lurking in their heads

    That being said, I really like the atmosphere of the thing. Starting the description with a story was a great and creepy way of introducing the monster.

    As for where there is room for improvement, you should probably add types (Su), (Ex) etc. after the different special abilities. Also, I would probably include the "None Medium Humanoid Victims" text in the "Venomflesh Disease" description. Also, should there really be no save for this horrible disease? I mean, it can of course be high, but should it really be infinite? I also believe that flail, as it stands, is quite useless. You should at least up the percentage a bit.

    But there as minor things, and all in all I think it is a unique and terrifying creature. So I'm voting yes for MitP

    (When MitP is done, I really have to make an adventure where the PCs encounter all the horrors from MitP in a sigle town. It'll be like Ravenholm on Crack )

    [Edit] Oh, you should probably also include "Single actions only" in the combat description as well, as this is pretty essential to understanding how the creature works in a fight.
    Last edited by Ceres; 2007-06-25 at 03:51 PM. Reason: heh, yet
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed [MitP]

    I've made the changes. Now that I think of it, maybe I'll expand on the idea with a Golem made of it or something.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed [MitP]

    ^^ You can never have too many golems. Never.
    Last edited by Ceres; 2007-06-18 at 10:43 AM.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed [MitP]

    A few thoughts, mechanical stuff, and presentation points:

    I would split the Venomflesh into two creatures: one for humanoid and one for non-humanoid. This would simplify the stat block considerably, and allow you to further differentiate the two.

    The average hp should be 22 (always round down, and you forgot Toughness).

    Flat-footed AC should be 12.

    The attack bonuses should all be +3 (+2 BAB, +1 Str).

    The Venomflesh Disease is different enough from the normal disease rules that you might consider not calling it a disease. A more generic "affliction" would probably do better, though you could find more options in a thesaurus.

    I don't like the high save for Venomflesh. I realize you can't use the standard formulae (which would give it a DC of 6), but DC 30 just seems out of the park for a CR 5 critter. And why does the venomlich's disease work differently than a venomflesh's?

    I'm generally in favor of reusing existing rules whenever possible; as such, I would replace Grab with Improved Grab and make the disease on injury.
    Last edited by adanedhel9; 2007-06-18 at 01:28 PM.

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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed [MitP]

    Quote Originally Posted by adanedhel9 View Post
    A few thoughts, mechanical stuff, and presentation points:

    I would split the Venomflesh into two creatures: one for humanoid and one for non-humanoid. This would simplify the stat block considerably, and allow you to further differentiate the two.

    The average hp should be 22 (always round down, and you forgot Toughness).

    Flat-footed AC should be 12.

    The attack bonuses should all be +3 (+2 BAB, +1 Str).

    The Venomflesh Disease is different enough from the normal disease rules that you might consider not calling it a disease. A more generic "affliction" would probably do better, though you could find more options in a thesaurus.

    I don't like the high save for Venomflesh. I realize you can't use the standard formulae (which would give it a DC of 6), but DC 30 just seems out of the park for a CR 5 critter. And why does the venomlich's disease work differently than a venomflesh's?

    I'm generally in favor of reusing existing rules whenever possible; as such, I would replace Grab with Improved Grab and make the disease on injury.
    I've made the changes. The high DC for the venomlich is for contracting the disease. Its higher because its making a controlled attempt to infect someone while the Venomflesh is just exposing itself to its victim to pass the disease on.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed [MitPII]

    I've added an image to the Venomflesh description. Its basically just a face with loads of blurring and green tint, but its better than nothing.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed [MitPII]

    Wow, very very cool. And disturbing, definitely disturbing. I like the story with it. Mitp vote: yes^3. Kind of reminds me of my dread beasts I entered.

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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed [MitPII]

    ANy other comments/votes?
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    does it affect animals?

    can we have a bird flying around and dropping slime on people's heads?

    Mitp vote: yes

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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    Quote Originally Posted by SydneyLosstarot View Post
    does it affect animals?

    can we have a bird flying around and dropping slime on people's heads?

    Mitp vote: yes
    Only if its a medium sized humanoid animal.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    A shameless BUMP.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    Looks okay to me, though you haven't implemented adanedhel9's changes in the attack lines correctly.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew View Post
    Looks okay to me, though you haven't implemented adanedhel9's changes in the attack lines correctly.
    In what way?
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    BAB should be +2.
    The attack bonuses listed on the attack and full attack lines should be +3. There's no reason to break that down to (+2 BAB, +1 Str) in the stat block.

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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    Quote Originally Posted by adanedhel9 View Post
    BAB should be +2.
    The attack bonuses listed on the attack and full attack lines should be +3. There's no reason to break that down to (+2 BAB, +1 Str) in the stat block.
    Have I got it right now?
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    Yep, that looks right now.

    MitP: Yes
    Last edited by Matthew; 2007-06-22 at 11:25 PM.
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    cool Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    In the first entry, it should be Non-humanoid, not None Humanoid. Otherwise, looks great. Mitp: yes Oh, and please go look at my monster, I really need comments/votes for it.
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    Default Re: The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story [MitPII]

    Thanks for the votes.
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    Default Re: [MitPII] The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story

    For convinience sake;

    Yes: 5 No: 0
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    Default Re: [MitPII] The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story

    MitP Vote: Yes
    Recent Ancient Attempts at homebrewing :

    Daoist(Prc), Kinderhorror (MitP:8-0), Gribble(MitP: 11-1), Shardfiend(MitP:8-0), Sun Tyrant(MitP:6-0), Sunworshiper(MitP: 3-0),Spidaren (MitP: 7-0), Movie Themed Feats

    Any & all advice and opinions, and votes, are welcome

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    Default Re: [MitPII] The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story

    Yes: 6 No: 0
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    Default Re: [MitPII] The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story (1 vote to

    MitP vote: Yes
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    Default Re: [MitPII] The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story

    Thanks everyone.
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    Default Re: [MitPII] The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story

    Good extremely creepy monster. That's how zombies should work! Being contagious. Mitp: Yes

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    Default Re: [MitPII] The Venomfleshed, complete with their own introductory story

    FWIW MitP Vote: Yes
    [Public Service Announcement]P.E.A.C.H stands for Please Examine And Critique Honestly[/Public Service Announcement]
    Extended Signature
    My Homebrew is meant to be used, but, if you do, PLEASE tell me how it goes.

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