Help RP my Bard/Marshall!

[Drwg]

Right now, I've just started a gestalt campaign with a CG Half-elf Bard//Marshall/Outcast Champion (focused in singing).

My DM has been giving out bonus XP for "RPing." So in order to try to get some extra points out of this, I'm looking for some help finding fun songs, lyrics, limmericks, rhymes, puns, innuendo, wordplay, etc. to try to incorporate into the game.

To give a little bit of my character's background/personality:
He comes from a lesser human noble family (with a history of producing generals) that married into a family of rich elves, yet became fed up with nobility after seeing the destruction and death caused by petty squabbles between rich lords and families. He is a natural leader and diplomat but in battle he's more of a supporter for other stronger fighters.

The campaign that I play can be very campy, so anything fun or entertaining is in.

Any thoughts? Can provide more info if needed.

[Black Hand]

I'd suggest Haiku's, but the flavor would probably be more oriental.

They're easy though, just say something on the topic at hand, but the wording goes as such:

5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables

Some of them sound pretty funny when done that way if you're looking for Campy.

Some examples:

Spoiler

Show

We fight for our life!
desparate for victory. Wizard!
Fireball from anus.

try to make your mark
I will take out challengers
you need help with math

Ouch ouchy ouch ow
The foe struck critically
I got a boo boo.

Malach* saw a hole
stepped into that big 'ol hole
Malach* in a hole

*Insert party member here

Bump for great justice
We need to see more effort
or else you will die.

The rule for today.
Touch my stuff, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

[goat]

Dude. Show tunes.

OR, OR, Gilbert and Sullivan.

"I am the very model of a modern major general" indeed.

[Skjaldbakka]

I wrote a haiku
Wanna hear it?
It's 5-3-5, right?

[Drwg]

Dude. Show tunes.

OR, OR, Gilbert and Sullivan.

"I am the very model of a modern major general" indeed.

That is an awesome idea. I'll definately have to throw that in there.

[Ravyn]

Step one: Net-search up the lyrics for the Moody Blues' "I'm Just a Singer in a Rock and Roll Band."

Step two: Adapt lyrics for game--the general feel, particularly with the downplaying one's own role, sounds like it'd fit your character pretty well.

Step three: Have fun!

A lot of songs can be adapted, but that one strikes me as a really good match on the fly.... then again, a lot of what they sing has its applications. Aside from that... yeah, I'm gonna need more information.

[TO_Incognito]

I wrote a haiku
Wanna hear it?
It's 5-3-5, right?

It's funny, 'cause "Wanna hear it" isn't even 3 syllables...

[Jannex]

Campy bard songs? This one's my favorite...

Warning: PG-13

Spoiler

Show

The lovely lady sang so sweet,
upon her harp she plucked;
The dragon's lust grew great and strong,
his heart thundered and bucked.
When she was through,
he took her home,
and all night long, they...

...were...

Anatomically incompatible
His was fly-able,
Hers just sat-able,
True love died,
'cause nothing fit,
and that's the "long" and "short" of it.

They tried their best to make it work,
with effort pure and true;
They used appliances and gels,
and lathered up with goo.
T'was all for nought, though,
sad to tell,
They simply couldn't...

...they...
...were...

Anatomically incompatible
His was fly-able,
Hers just sat-able,
True love died,
'cause nothing fit,
and that's the "long" and "short" of it.

The dragon ceased his striving, but
alas, it was too late!
They buried her whilst he bemoaned
the fickleness of fate.
Dead, not for love,
but just because
they could not for...

...they...
...were...

Anatomically incompatible
His was fly-able,
Hers just sat-able,
True love died,
'cause nothing fit,
and that's the "long" and "short" of it.

The moral of this sad lament:
avoid the clench of fate;
make sure the plumbing measures up
before you copu...

...they...
...were...

Anatomically incompatible
His was fly-able,
Hers just sat-able,
True love died,
'cause nothing fit,
and that's the "long" and "short" of it!

I learned it from a friend, who got it from... somewhere. I'm not sure the actual origins.