Here's some ****in' D&D - Minimalist Roleplaying and ****

[Dimcair]

Do we love this? Anyone ever tried it?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6u...w?pref=2&pli=1

What is your character?

http://whothe****ismydndcharacter.com/


/edit: indeed the second link is f-ed up. Even the hyperlink wont work. No worries, the link is also in the first document, top left!
If that is too complicated, follow the advice below

[Thrudd]

Do we love this? Anyone ever tried it?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6u...w?pref=2&pli=1

What is your character?

http://whothe****ismydndcharacter.com/

This is pretty ****in respectable. Not bad.

[Slipperychicken]

Do we love this? Anyone ever tried it?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6u...w?pref=2&pli=1

What is your character?

http://whothe****ismydndcharacter.com/

The forum's censor messed up your second link. To anyone trying to reach the site, replace those four asterisks with a four-letter swear word that rhymes with "chuck".

[Jormengand]

Check this [crap] out, I'm going to be a [freaking] conscientious Halfling Druid from a moving island who doesn't believe in hygiene

That doesn't make any [freaking] sense

[johnbragg]

Check this [crap] out, I'm going to be a [freaking] conscientious Halfling Druid from a moving island who doesn't believe in hygiene

That doesn't make any [freaking] sense

The two-page RPG is pretty neat. Language aside, it looks like a good way to have beginning players start to master a system. Of course, there is a lot of language....

The character-idea generator probably has uses for oneshots and such.

[Dienekes]

A few things:

Fighters get +1 to stunts and maneuvers, sounds cool, unfortunately I have no idea what those are.

Is Movement just bonuses to Initiative and Adventuring, or is it actual movement? And holy cow, if all heroic **** is based off of that modifier, who is ever going to use plate armor? Wow, that is a huge penalty. You wear armor you're guaranteed to always go last, possibly won't be able to actually move to your opponents, and likely won't be able to use those stunts and maneuvers that the fighter's would get a small bonus to. It's basically saying if you wear armor you aren't going to actually be doing anything.

Dragonborn may be the best race. Getting an automatic free attack each round at level 1 beats just about everything the other races get, especially elves which seem to have never sleep and +2 to lore as their only selling point (woooo). The possible exception is Human, which of course is the weakest race at level 0, will slowly outpace everyone in effectiveness, then when everyone reaches max level they'll again be the weakest.

I'm going to guess that Large weapons need 2 hands to wield, but since that's not said anywhere, I'm picturing halfling rogues with 2 greatswords stabbing their opponent for double damage.

Also is there a benefit for using 2 weapons? As of now, I don't see any rules for it, so there'd be no reason to ever not use a Large weapon, unless you happen to want to use a shield.

Overall, I really like it as a simple system. Could maybe use a once over on balance issues if you're worried about it, and maybe a page to clarify a few things, and fit in what appears to be left out. But I really like what I'm seeing.

[mephnick]

I got a dwarven warlock from a famous dungeon who uses his family history to flirt with chicks.

So now I have a new NPC.

[Quertus]

I got... mean Dwarf Warlock from the petrified wood who is afraid of heights.

When he dies, my backup character is... sensitive Dragonborn Barbarian from a forgotten elven monastery who has accepted death as an inevitability.

Doubt I'll ever play him, although I am curious how this system plays out. Do monsters and treasure look like "standard" D&D; if so, which edition?

Just a few derived stats, but no stats really needed except race, class, and level. Very odd.

It's basically saying if you wear armor you aren't going to actually be doing anything.

... other than fight, and survive? I also didn't see any limits on who can wear armor, so I imagine my mean warlock will wear full plate + shield, and wield your mom a very large hammer for d10 damage.

[johnbragg]

I would hazard a guess that "No you can't use a shield AND a large weapon, *******, you need to hands to use a large weapon. Don't be a ****."

[Dienekes]

I got... mean Dwarf Warlock from the petrified wood who is afraid of heights.

When he dies, my backup character is... sensitive Dragonborn Barbarian from a forgotten elven monastery who has accepted death as an inevitability.

Doubt I'll ever play him, although I am curious how this system plays out. Do monsters and treasure look like "standard" D&D; if so, which edition?

Just a few derived stats, but no stats really needed except race, class, and level. Very odd.



... other than fight, and survive? I also didn't see any limits on who can wear armor, so I imagine my mean warlock will wear full plate + shield, and wield your mom a very large hammer for d10 damage.

Well here's the thing, going first gives a huge advantage on who gets to actually fight and survive, and your Warlock will never go first, with plate and a shield you're almost guaranteed to go last, meaning the opponent will have free reign to hit you once, or debuff you with a spell. If the move penalty effects your actual movement you might not be even able to get into range to do anything if you're a melee guy (the ones who, in most games I've played, as well as in real life, wanted the heavy armor).

Then we can see that armor is not actually all that good as the players level up. Maybe 16 is great against every physical character at level 1, but because AC doesn't scale, while every attack (even from a wizard with a stick) scales by level come level 10-ish you'll be taking all the penalties for wearing armor and getting no real benefit.

There's also no real reason for the Warlock to use the hammer, since he gets a free ranged attack that deals only an average of 1 less damage. There's almost no reason for the Warlock to ever get into melee range really, only 1 spell is melee (shocking grasp), they have the lowest hit points in the game.

Also, if I'm reading this right, Wizards are just Warlocks without the awesome free ranged attack, but they have the benefit of not having to be evil. Again, kind of a weird balance point, there.

[Eloel]

Halflings. Poor little halflings, gets no bonus :(

Also, if I'm reading this right, Wizards are just Warlocks without the awesome free ranged attack, but they have the benefit of not having to be evil. Again, kind of a weird balance point, there.

Warlocks are half-caster.

[Dienekes]

Halflings. Poor little halflings, gets no bonus :(

They technically do get the +2 to Subterfuge, which they share with Gnomes and Tieflings.

So really, they're just a worse version of Tieflings and Gnomes, considering Tieflings get to cast darkness 1/day, and can see in the dark, and Gnomes can talk to animals or something.

Warlocks are half-caster.

Thanks, not sure how I missed that. So I guess, instead, Bards are just Warlocks that can't use that super cool free attack, and the only benefit they get in return is they can sing.

[0evil_overlord0]

This character generator is pretty great. My finest:

Spoiler: Characters

Show

FLIRTATIOUS HALF-ORC WIZARD FROM THE LIZARD INFESTED MARSHLANDS WHO WAS PETRIFIED FOR OVER TWO HUNDRED YEARS
METHODICAL ELF RANGER FROM THE INNER CITY SLUMS WHO IS UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND OLD PEOPLE (THEY SMELL LIKE DEATH)
HYPERCRITICAL HALF-ELF CLERIC FROM THE WILD WOOD WHO IS AFRAID OF SHARP EDGES
MEAN DRAGONBORN FIGHTER FROM A ENCHANTED FOREST LOGGING COMPANY WHO IS DOWNRIGHT RACIST TOWARDS LIVING SKELETONS
And a 2x combo:
OUTGOING DWARF WIZARD FROM A SMALL FAMILY FARM WHO REALISED THE IMPORTANCE OF LITERACY FAR TOO LATE IN LIFE
OUTGOING DWARF WIZARD FROM A SMALL FARM IN THE GRASSLANDS WHO IS AFRAID THE REST OF THE PARTY WILL KILL THEM IF THEY TRY TO LEAVE

[BootStrapTommy]

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

[Dienekes]

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

I have a fake steel whip that's been folded 1000 times.

So... I have a metal stick?

[BootStrapTommy]

I have a fake steel whip that's been folded 1000 times.

So... I have a metal stick?

I got a flaming slingshot made of steel that has been folded 1000 times.

[goto124]

I got:

Pickaxe that boils water,

Bow with an attitude,

Knock-off chain with sparkles, not sure what this one would be made of,

Shuriken with a piece missing... how does a shuriken have a missing piece?

[Eloel]

IRRITABLE DRAGONBORN RANGER FROM A CAMP OF ARMY FOLLOWERS WHO PARTIES HARD, WAY TOO HARD.

with

A ****ING BATON THAT GROWS


Welcome to BoEF, I'll be your guide.

[Pluto!]

Easily surpasses Sea Dracula as the best RPG on the ****ing market. Two thumbs and two middle fingers straight up.

[goto124]

Welcome to BoEF, I'll be your guide.

I would recommend the NBoUCK. Though, BoEF may be funnier...

[Dimcair]

I got a dwarven warlock from a famous dungeon who uses his family history to flirt with chicks.

So now I have a new NPC.

#DorianGrey

Also:

You think your character is cool? My character is a ducking

determined Human Ranger from the quality control for potion brewing association who has gotten away with murder

[goto124]

Did you mean, a duckling?

[Dimcair]

No, I simply exchanged a F with a D.

As in "ducking auto-correct"

[goto124]

A

determined Duckling Ranger from the quality control for potion brewing association who has gotten away with murder

would be even better though!

[Admiral Squish]

I got "CRITICAL HALFLING RANGER FROM THE MEAN UNCOBBLED STREETS OF THE CITY WHO WAS PETRIFIED FOR OVER TWO HUNDRED YEARS".
Sounds awesome, I'm in.

EDIT: Also, he has a "SWISS ARMY ARROW THAT COMES BACK WHEN YOU THROW IT", which is just that much cooler.

[goto124]

Don't forget Convert Case, to change from CAPS LOCK to Sentence case.

Quite a few good stuff:

Passive-aggressive tiefling wizard from a enchanted forest logging company who finds it impossible to speak to girls
Tsundere wizard. Also, is that a (enchanted forest) logging company, or a enchanted (forest logging) company?

Paranoid human paladin from a floating city who has been exiled twice under different names
Quite normal for a rogue, not a paladin!

Proud half-orc barbarian from the quality control for potion brewing association who doesn't have a reflection
How does a half-orc barbarian help with quality control, be the guinea pig of prototype potions? And does she have the half-vampire template too?

Emotional dwarf druid from a recently erupted volcano village who likes to settle arguments with headbutting contests
Headbutts. That is all.


The weapons:
Gnomish hatchet of Elf-slaying
Arrow of skeleton-slaying
Critical war axe of personal destruction
Slow spear
Masterwork rock that sings
Shovel that comes back when you throw it
Sling that vibrates
Broken battle axe of decapitation
Broken club made of paper
Tooth made of meat
Thermonuclear shuriken
Slicing warhammer of life
Vorpal crossbow of illusion
Scimitar of troll-slaying
Cutlass made of yarn

[Velaryon]

*cracks knuckles*

Alright, let's roll up an adventuring party, shall we?

For the party leader:

Broad-minded half-orc fighter from a plague ridden city who is convinced they're always being left out.

Who wields a...

Greataxe made of tin.

I'm sure that's going to work well for him.


For the second in command, we have:

Emotional half-elf barbarian from a cursed village who was petrified for over two hundred years.

And they're packing a...

Crippling knife with a forbidden name.

Sounds like he (or she?) will be really fun at parties.


The party's mage will be:

Easy-going halfling warlock from a sunken city who has no other family but the party.

Who for some reason also wields a...

Warhammer of strength.

I'm sure there's a way to have that make sense, but I'm not seeing it.


The party healer is a:

Anxious dragonborn cleric from the lizard infested marshlands who always romanticised adventure

And for her fighting needs, she's got a...

Piercing knife of owlbear-slaying.

Which no doubt doubles as a scalpel. Hopefully she washes it first.


And the fifth wheel / comic relief character shall be:

Surly human sorcerer from the iceberg sea who ran afoul of the goblin mob.

Who will valiantly pursue the party goals using her...

Chain that always points north.

Which I'm sure will be useful... somehow.



Yeah, I would totally play in this game.

[Beleriphon]

A peaceful Dragonborn Warlock from the iceberg sea who carries the skull of their best friend

[SaintRidley]

Well, let's see what I get. Thinking a five-person party, and might take some of these ideas for a 5e game sometime.

GRUFF HALF-ORC WIZARD FROM AN UNDERGROUND CITY WHO HAS ACCEPTED DEATH AS AN INEVITABILITY

Okay. Would be gruff too.

FEARLESS TIEFLING CLERIC FROM A TOWN OF OUTLAWS WHO ALWAYS GIVES THE GOOD NEWS FIRST

"Have you heard about our lord and savior Sithrak? He hates us all!"

GRAVE HALF-ELF ROGUE FROM A TOURIST TOWN IN THE MOUNTAINS WHO TAKES GREAT DELIGHT IN IDENTIFYING NEW BEETLE SPECIES

Now that's a character quirk.

GENEROUS TIEFLING DRUID FROM A COMPLEX BUREAUCRATIC SOCIETY WHO CAN'T SILENCE THE VOICES

The voices all sound like bureaucrats, and they're highly efficient about talking one at a time. Only problem is there's never a time when one isn't talking.

SNOBBY GNOME RANGER FROM A POORLY RUN ORPHANAGE WHO ONLY HAS TWO MORE YEARS BEFORE A DEMON COMES BACK TO CLAIM THEIR SOUL

What went on at that orphanage?

[Red Fel]

Alrighty. Since we're forming up parties, I'll take a shot at the classic five-man band. Roles are gender neutral, despite the name, but I'm slotting them in as I get them, irrespective of whether it fits.

• The Leader: An unbalanced Dwarf Monk from the shifting desert who is haunted by the ghosts of those they kill. So, basically a comical shounen hero with a dark past. And he wields a maul that traps souls. That's... Entirely fitting, actually. Also, dark.
• The Lancer: A hypercritical Dragonborn Bard from a cliff-side village who always keeps their promises. Hypercritical and honorable, perfect Lancer material. And he wields the Tooth of Destiny. Fitting, for a Dragon-dude with his mouth open half the time.
• The Smart Guy: A plucky Dragonborn Barbarian from the vast wastes who already made and lost a fortune. I'd expect him to be the Big Guy, but I'm up for brainy bruiser types. And he wields a broken sabre with an unknown enchantment. Fitting that the only weapon he could afford after losing everything was a mysterious broken sabre.
• The Big Guy: A sassy Half-Elf Cleric from the City of Ten Thousand Flags who seeks to end a family feud. Apparently through being big. And he wields a spiked baton made of crystal. Sassy! Are you sure I didn't swap Smart Guy and Big Guy?
• The Chick: A sweet Dragonborn Bard from a fallen kingdom who loved, lost and never loved again. Classic material for the (non-gender-specific) character intended to represent the emotional core of the team. I'm getting a lot of Dragonborn and Bard, though. And she wields a double knife. That image kind of works, frankly.

As an aside, I like this system. It's clean and minimalist, and the attitude is refreshing. I can't speak to how balanced it is, but it seems simple and fun enough.