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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Lavish glade and lush green field,
    Wizen'd oaks; to the blight all yield.
    Weeping trees of crimson blood,
    the Fields of Flesh turn life to mud.
    Will you tread and smile and sleep
    where devils dance and angels weep?

    Spoiler: What some of you have been told before going to the Fields of Flesh
    Show
    "There is a blight in our lands. An area in excess of forty miles across has been warped and twisted; it has been around for countless centuries. Very few people travel through the area, it is said to be cursed and fearsome things lurk in its wake.

    Arcanists who study the outskirts confirm: the fields of flesh is, in fact, growing... and they cannot stop it. It expands at a rate of several feet per month. It seems we cannot afford to ignore the cursed fields forever. It falls on you, then, to brave these corrupted plains and solve this mystery.

    We must stop the Fields of Flesh from overrunning this country."


    This evening, you find yourselves in the "Half-cooked Haunch" a modest reststop conveniently sitting on a crossroads 100 miles west from the blight. The place isn't very lively at all, there are a couple of other patrons beside yourselves silently trying to get through the night and leave this place in the morning; for most, even this reststop is too close to the Fields of Flesh.

    And so it is that the "Half-cooked Haunch" lost most of its business over the years but the owner, a rather aged human with short gray hair, still seems accomodating and cheerful. He whistles in the bar while wiping a rag over it.

    Spoiler
    Show
    You can decide here where your characters stand with each other. Place them all in a table, if you like, have them enter, what have you.

    Perhaps a day or two for general tavern banter is sufficient?
    DMing:
    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Andrezitos's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Legchopper lifts his head off the table and asks in a coarse voice: "had any of you see a dwarf besides me today"? He sees some tall people ahead. Two, three, a dozen... A bunch. He can not tell the difference between them too.
    The ale has finished. Perhaps one more turn, the last one for sure... Or not, even a dwarf should know when he or she had enough. His mentor would not like to see him in this state...

    Spoiler: law question
    Show
    how the place handles violence and related topics? Not permitted but tolerated? Just in the battlefield against infidels?
    Last edited by Andrezitos; 2016-03-22 at 05:59 PM.

  3. - Top - End - #3
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    Sirithhyando's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Balan entered the Half-Cooked Haunch and scanned the room trying to see if any of his companions were already sitting at a table. Between the taller folk, he ended up seeing the dwarf. He sneaked slowly behind him, hearing him asking a question, Balan froze a moment. Thinking to whom was this question asked. He put a gentle hand on the dwarf shoulder before speaking "I Believe you are the only one my non-grumpy little friend."
    Laughing while sitting, Balan checked the table "How many beer have you had already, it would be nice to go early tomorrow morning."

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default and sRe: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    The doors to the tavern opened with a bang. A blond elf strode in. His hair was tied back in a pony tail, and his brightly colored clothes seemed designed to catch the eye. He grinned as he looked around the tavern and headed headed over to the others. "So, would you be my sidekicks on the trip to the Fields?" He asked in a (mostly) joking manner.
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  5. - Top - End - #5
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    The bartender, upon hearing the blonde elf bash in the door starts, "Hey, hey, easy on the doors!" breaking his- not long ago, cheerful tune. He shakes his head disapprovingly, then grabs an iron to stoke the hearth on which a stew is slowly boiling. "Damned bards..." he grumbles, then starts whistling again.

    One of the patrons, a human with long black hair, picks up on the statement and turns his head to the elf, "You don't mean the Fields of Flesh, do you?" he says to Neil. "Nasty business, that. I'd steer clear of it, if I were you." he pauses to gulp half of his drink. "My cousin used to live near there, had a farmhouse in the outskirts before the blight overtook 'em. 'Said nothing grew no more, not even weeds. He thinks it's probably the mist, 'kills vegetation', he said." The man looks almost as drunk as Lad but manages to maintain some composure.
    DMing:
    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    [/COLOR]Three strong ale tankards, half of that of flavored wine and an handful of nuts to fill the guts... answers Lad to Balan as best as his loose tongue permits. He greets his partners with a wide smile, cheeks livid red from the alchoolic breakfast.

    A misty, you say? Lad remembers for a moment of the morning fog that constantly clouded his birthplace in his memory.
    Last edited by Andrezitos; 2016-03-23 at 05:46 AM.

  7. - Top - End - #7
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    Sirithhyando's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Looking at his elvish friend coming in, he couldn't help but smile at the bartender outburst.
    Letting the conversation go on as the drunk person giving a tale of his cousin, he wasn't smiling anymore at the mention of the mist and the field of flesh. His only excursion to the place have left his mind scarred though now the only possible action was to return. Trying to appear more confident, as much for him as for his friends, he added Bah, i've survived it once, we'll survive again. Mumbling the rest Though i'm not sure how...
    His strong build fell lower in his chair, trying to remember something of that time he passed in the fields. His amnesia wasn't natural, at least, that's what he thought.
    Last edited by Sirithhyando; 2016-03-23 at 11:46 AM.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    "Yeah, a mist coats the area. You can't see it here but my cousin swears by it." he says as he idly scratches the side of his tankard.

    The man looks to Balan after his statement, "... Survived? Buncha *hic* bull-. No one survives the fields of flesh. If you did, what did you see, eh? Hah! Answer that?" his eyes droop now and his head starts to nod.
    DMing:
    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

  9. - Top - End - #9
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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    And how your cousin lived to tell how this scary mist is?

    Whatever, I think we should look for ourselves what the smell of rooting flesh mist looks like.


    Lad asks to the bartender if there is any group departing, or that departed recentely, to the fields.
    Last edited by Andrezitos; 2016-03-23 at 08:23 PM.

  10. - Top - End - #10
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    Gastronomie's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Rowan Blane, who was sitting at the table and reading a book the size of a dictionary, looked up from its yellowing pages and listened to the conversation being thrown about above his head. He is unwavering and unruffled as he listens, and eventually returns to reading the book, flipping its pages, adjusting his left monocle and scowling.

    No one survives the fields of flesh? Rowan thinks to himself as he rummages through his raven hair and orders his second glass of water. Well think again, you foul commoner. You don't even know who's in this room.
    When the glass arrives in front of him, Rowan snaps his fingers, and casts the Prestidigitation spell upon the drink. Golden sparks flutter above the water's surface, then proceed to slowly sink into the liquid, disappearing upon contact. When Rowan takes a small sip, the water now tastes as sweet and mellow as honey. Success. And even better than yesterday! His talent was geniune. He was born to be the best, he was growing rapidly, and he knew it.

    I'll show them, Rowan mutters to himself as he stirs the glass of water (in a fashion that he means to resemble a noble drinking wine), taking another sip. I'll show them what I am. I'll show them what I'm gonna be! I'll show them what I'm up to, what I aim to accomplish and...

    Rowan sprays the water from his mouth.

    Wh...What!? Rowan coughs out desparately and wipes his mouth with his robes. Tears are forming on the edges of his eyes - the water had suddenly tasted spicy. Spicy and hot. There was no way Rowan could stand it. Rowan blinks and wipes his eyes, realizes he had sprayed the water all over his book - with a miserable yelp, he takes a handkerchief out of his robes and frantically wipes the book. Only after cleaning up the mess did he realize another casting of Prestidigitation could have done the job better, but it's too late - the stains are left on the ancient book. Rowan sighs and sits back in his chair. His face is bright red, he's trembling, and he's about to cry.

    Rowan re-opens the book; gives a cough that came out louder than he meant to. He keeps on reading the sallow pages, pretending he's absorbed in it - doing his best to look as though he's oblivious to the various glances and whispers that come from all directions. Trembling, he bites his lips and gulps back his tears, feeling as miserable as ever.

    ...I'll show them.
    Last edited by Gastronomie; 2016-03-24 at 04:21 AM.
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    ^ Fantastic avatar made by Professor Gnoll. Yaya Tokaz, from the manga "Kukul and Nagi". ^
    Spoiler: Quotes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malifice View Post
    Only on a DnD forum would discussing the methods for jamming a T-Rex into a 10x10x10 box be a thing.
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  11. - Top - End - #11
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    The man gasps as if he is about to retch on the table. He grips the edge firmly with both hands and keeps the sickness in. "My cousin ain't a liar, if that's what you mean. He up and fled the fields when the blight starts showin' its head around, like any sane man would." he places his head on the table, appearing to have gone to sleep.

    The barkeep heads to your table and shakes his head as he sees the passed-out drunk, he places another mug in front of Rowan whom he had witnessed spill his drink. "Another group?" he says, addressing Lad's question as he casually fishes a few coins from the sleeping drunkard. "I better start having people pay up front, like you did." he mumbles. He seemed to have forgotten the question but then returns his mind to it. "No, there wasn't any that came here that I know of. There were in the past, never seen any of them since, they probably wizened up and abandoned it." he eyes you intently. "But you, you lot look determined," he says, as he pockets the coins from earlier "and capable." he adds. "Anyway, it's gettin' late, of course you can stay up as long as you want, and as bargained earlier, your rooms are upstairs but I'll be heading to bed so if you want any more drinks, say so now."

    Spoiler: ooc
    Show
    any more questions? Next big DM post will now have you departing, barring any questions.
    DMing:
    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Sirithhyando's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Waiting for the barkeep to part ways with them, Balan added to Lad Well, the mist at the very least is true, we need to be prepared to go in there. He lowered his tone to be sure only those on his table heard Only salted meat doesn't seem to be affected by it. I do not remember about water though.
    Balan looked, smiling at Rowan earlier prowess then looked at Lad mumbling to his ears I think some fun is in order, might be the last for a while
    Balan slowly took a little bit of fleece from his pouch and from under the table made the necesary movement with his hand. Making a finger appearing in the "honeyed" water his other companion cherished.

  13. - Top - End - #13
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    Andrezitos's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Lad nods to the barkeeper and departs for his bed. Before leaving he aknowledges the group lack of clues about the flesh spreadjng mist and reason to go there in the first place.

    Well folks, time to sleep. Tomorrow will be a big day... I dont know bout you but this boring village feels much more danger than some ill manered field.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Neil scoffed at the barkeep's reaction. "Bard? I don't go singing into a fight. People sing about me going into battle!" He pulled up a chair, and sat down with a thump. "And if nobody's survived the Fields of Flesh, that sounds like a good reason to go to me. I'll-I mean, we'll all be famous."
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  15. - Top - End - #15
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    Sirithhyando's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Balan listened to Neil as he came sitting with the group Well said, well said.
    Balan yawned Yup, time for the night, i'll see you in the morning.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    The tavernkeeper gives a vague nod of acknowledgement as you set out in the morning, will he even remember your faces? "If you ever come back, I'll probably still be here." So many pass by, so few actually come back. You see him arranging chairs as you step out the door, humming a lewd human classic.


    You spend a day on the road, marching at a reasonable pace. You take a break once in a while, resting your weary feet and enjoying the rich landscape yet untouched by the blight. The night is cold but otherwise uneventful, you can hear your surroundings so alive this far from civilization.

    Dawn breaks again, and another day of march is upon you. This time, as you get nearer to the blight, there is a distinct lack of wildlife, and the silence is only disturbed by your harsh footsteps. The landscape is- was, pleasant fields and valleys where you can see crops grew once upon a time. The grass to the side of this well-trodden path is withered, blackened and dying. There are no trees here, just the mournful grass for miles and miles.

    Then, in the afternoon of the second day of travel, you see it: a sickly light pinkish mist blanketing the dead ochre landscape. It reminds you of airated blood escaping from a man's throat as he futilely tries to breathe. As you walk, you are suddenly aware of its presence and it is all around you now. For an hour you continue to walk when something foul hits your noses. Looking for the source, you find the food you normally bring, black bread, dried fruits, nuts, cheese, all have gone rotten and bad though the salted meats seem to be untouched.

    Spoiler: ooc
    Show
    Of the 10 days of normal rations, you lose 7 days worth. If you successfully hunted for any meat earlier, those aren't touched as well


    You can't see very far, there is around 300 feet of visibility, as the haze obscures your vision. Despite this, you see two large objects looming in the distance:

    One appears to be an old abandoned farmhouse, its fencing- as well as its front door, is missing. Broken planks form gaping holes on its facade but the interior is shadowy.

    The second is a barn of similar disrepair, barely standing on its frame. Its front doors hanging ajar ever so slightly and you could have sworn it moved, despite the fact that you felt no wind blowing.
    Last edited by daze413; 2016-03-25 at 09:46 AM.
    DMing:
    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

  17. - Top - End - #17
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    Sirithhyando's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    When they got close to the abandoned farmhouse, Balan gesture made his owl companion appear. Ngwawa, fly and keep us posted on what you see.
    Spoiler: Ngwawa stealth and perception
    Show

    perception
    (1d20+3)[19]
    stealth
    (1d20+3)[13]


    Balan looked to his companions Let's wait a moment to see what Ngwawa see. We probably shouldn't stay too long in the field this first time. Let's see how our other provisions will fare in this place.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    The owl tilts its head at the request. Nevertheless, it soars overhead, the mist obscures his vision the higher he goes but he tries. There is no place to hide in the air, he keeps circling but there are no trees in the barren landscape.

    All seems clear in the immediate vicinity, the farm house and barn being the only structures in this lonely land. In the distance, however, as Ngwawa circles and makes a careful approach, he sees a twisted figure jutting from the ground, unmoving. With his keen eyes, he makes out the shape and it could only have been one thing: A Tree, without leaves, stands at the middle of the plain, near the path that continues to the east.

    Beside the shape and silhoutte, he can make out no further details, and he dared not go any closer for he fears being revealed.
    Last edited by daze413; 2016-03-25 at 06:55 PM.
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    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

  19. - Top - End - #19
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    Gastronomie's Avatar

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Rowan bites his lips. He looks around at the desolate landscape, pulling his clothing over his mouth and nose. He feels like he's going to throw up at any moment.

    And he was scared.

    Rowan was scared. He was frightened to his bones. He was shivering like a mouse, his knees were jelly, he wanted to run back and never return. But there was no such option. He had to move on. He had to prove himself worthy, he had to prove his talents to everyone...

    "-I-aiiii...." Rowan manages to mumble, crouching down on the spot. "I'll try to... detect if... this mist has any... magic, or... um... uhhh.... welll, um... magic."

    Rowan casts the "Detect Magic" spell as a ritual.
    Spoiler: OOC
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    Are we already stepping in the fields, or are we still watching it from just outside?
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    ^ Fantastic avatar made by Professor Gnoll. Yaya Tokaz, from the manga "Kukul and Nagi". ^
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malifice View Post
    Only on a DnD forum would discussing the methods for jamming a T-Rex into a 10x10x10 box be a thing.
    Extended Signature: Homebrew Stuff
    Unlimited Blade Works: The Guide to the Ultimate Paladin/Sorcerer Multiclass

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Closing his eyes and clearing his mind, Rowan detects a very faint necromantic magic around him. It is weak and faint, for such a spell to cover such a large area. You gather that the mist, mostly targets foreign food items, if left exposed for too long, the item will rot prematurely.

    Spoiler: ooc
    Show
    Yes, you are still at the outskirts but not in the blight proper- yet.
    Last edited by daze413; 2016-03-25 at 09:39 PM.
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    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Hmmm... this place seems not to be disturbed. Well, this ragged building will not be explored by itself. Let's go guys. I go first. Keep your eyes on me. Saying that, Lad strides ahead towards the old farm, axe and shield in hand.

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    As Nwgaga came back to him, Balan thanked him Good job my friend, i'll dismissed you for now. Dont want to expose you too long to this place.
    Balan started walking behind Lad. There seem to be nothing close beside a dead tree close to the road going east. Though i would still take care, anything can be dangerous in this place.

    Spoiler: Action
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    Dismiss temporarily my Owl
    Last edited by Sirithhyando; 2016-03-26 at 09:49 AM.

  23. - Top - End - #23
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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    As the mist started to envelop them, Neil laughed. "A little fog? Is that what people are afraid of?" Seeing what the fog had done to their food and realizing that they hadn't even reached the fields proper made him a little nervous, but he covered it up and played with his cards as Rowan checked for magic.

    In response to Lad Neil grinned, and pulled out his rapier. "Onwards it is."
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    Griffon

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Stepping inside the abandoned farmhouse, the molded rotted floor creaks and groans as if to complain of the weight it had, for so long now, forgotten how to bear. What you immediately notice is that most of the wood has been stripped away: floor boards, walls, even the ceiling and furniture are missing entire planks, leaving gaping holes where the elements could sneak in. What pieces of wood are left is too molded to be of any use.

    The interior is messy and rundown, bits and pieces of furniture are scattered throughout the living room, chairs missing their legs, tables without boards all lying around, unwanted.

    A rat scurries off to your side, too fast as it runs toward what you make out to be the kitchen, dusty cookware hangs from the wall.

    To your left, a room is missing its door, its hinges are still intact but the wooden door is nowhere to be seen. Bathed in sunlight cascading down from the missing ceiling, it appears to be a bedroom.

    Spoiler: ooc
    Show
    What would you like to do?
    Last edited by daze413; 2016-03-26 at 07:53 PM.
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    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    "...The mist is necromantic," Rowan said out bodly - well, more like, he tried to say it out boldly, but came out as more of a sobbing squeal. "...I...I'm not being 'afraid'... I'm being... cautious. Something is wrong with here..."

    Only after saying out loud that "something is wrong with here" did he realize that it was a fairly obvious statement, and that it could have made him look rather stupid. Rowan's face turned bright red.

    Since Rowan is very frightened and timid at the moment, he may want to re-use Detect Magic, this time upon the abandoned farmhouse, abusing the fact that it's a ritual.

    Apart from that, a Perception check to tell if anything is wrong, apart from what was already mentioned. Any signs of people recently in the house. Or obvious signs of otherworldly creatures and such...
    Spoiler: Rolls+OOC
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    Well, Rowan has a Wisdom of 8 (I picture Rowan as one of those guys who can study hard but can't always put their knowledge to good use). And he doesn't have the Perception skill, because I supposed it didn't fit his character. Now for the roll:
    (1d20-1)[0]

    ...Okay then, he must be REALLY scared.
    Last edited by Gastronomie; 2016-03-27 at 01:17 AM.
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    ^ Fantastic avatar made by Professor Gnoll. Yaya Tokaz, from the manga "Kukul and Nagi". ^
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malifice View Post
    Only on a DnD forum would discussing the methods for jamming a T-Rex into a 10x10x10 box be a thing.
    Extended Signature: Homebrew Stuff
    Unlimited Blade Works: The Guide to the Ultimate Paladin/Sorcerer Multiclass

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Troll in the Playground
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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Neil supressed the urge to roll his eyes. "Fine. You can stay here, I'll go see what's up.
    With a mix of excitement and worry, Neil moved into the bedroom to look around.

    Spoiler: OOC
    Show
    Neil actually doesn't have a very good Wisdom either but that manifests here as not recognizing potential danger. Also he does have Proficiency in Perception, because Elf.

    (d20+2)[19]
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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Balan stayed in the doorway as to be able to see his companions who were inside and Rowan outside. Rowan, the mist doesn't let us see very well, stay close to us and fear not. You are not alone, we'll get through everything this land send at us, do not despair.

    Spoiler: Rolls
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    Not sure what roll(s) to do here, Balan is trying to find a correlation between the striped wood and necromancy. What could want the wood that remained intact from the mist.
    arcana
    (1d20+4)[5]
    perception
    (1d20+3)[5]
    edit : if they were the good rolls to do, pretty sure there's nothing to be found with those rolls
    Last edited by Sirithhyando; 2016-03-27 at 05:55 PM.

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    Griffon

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Balan lingers in the doorway, keeping an eye on both the inside goings on and the outside perimeter. The mist obscures most of the land beyond 300 feet, and squinting doesn't help. But, there seems to be nothing afoot nearby, just the decrepit barn.

    As Neil steps into the bedroom, it is clear that this, too, had been stripped of wood. Dressers, drawers, even the bed is overturned and hacked to pieces. Neil's thorough search rewards him with a plain brass amulet, hidden behind the drawer, perhaps once a family heirloom forgotten in the rush to leave the blight and its horrors. Neil also turns out some usable wood, 4 planks on the floor are loose and free of mold yet.

    There seems to be nothing else of note in the room, the kitchen is yet untouched and outside, is the barn.

    Spoiler: ooc
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirithhyando View Post
    Spoiler: Rolls
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    Not sure what roll(s) to do here, Balan is trying to find a correlation between the striped wood and necromancy. What could want the wood that remained intact from the mist.
    arcana
    [roll0]
    perception
    [roll1]
    edit : if they were the good rolls to do, pretty sure there's nothing to be found with those rolls
    Even with natural 20s, there's no way your characters know the correlation, the players must figure it out themselves
    Last edited by daze413; 2016-03-27 at 07:15 PM.
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    Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh [5e] - IC - OOC - MAP

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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    Rowan opens his eyes. He couldn't detect any signs of magic in the farmhouse, save for the original necromantic mist. Rowan tells this to everyone, then adds-

    "...I think we should go to the barn now."

    He just wants to get out of here. Fast.
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    Default Re: [5e] Shadoweagle's Fields of Flesh - IC

    "Huh." Neil said, seeing the wood stripped room. The mist didn't seem to like trees any more than it like their food. Neil was about to leave when he saw the amulet. He scooped it up and headed towards Rowan. "Hey, you think you could check this for magic? I'd like to know if it'll melt my face off before I put it on."
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