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  1. - Top - End - #691
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3765.) A Bushel of Biscuits
    3766.) Pinch Perfect
    3767.) The Diaper Diner
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  2. - Top - End - #692
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3768.) a literal wall of text
    3769.) psionic scrolls consisting of psionic tattoos that have been flayed off of people, tanned, and rolled up
    3770.) Hypercomplex Numerology
    3771.) The Tragedy of Comedy
    3772.) Neumeronicus Neuronicus
    3773.) Horton Hears Some Phat Beats
    3774.) Horton Hears A Whom
    3775.) The Book of Profit
    3776.) The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelettes
    3777.) Spears of Power
    3778.) Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins
    3779.) Fantastic Lies And How to Tell Them
    3780.) The Book of Recitations
    3781.) Of Mice and Other Mice
    3782.) The Outrigger Veda
    3783.) "The Three Caskets" or "Triple Casket"
    3784.) The Mediocre Book
    3785.) Codex Gygax
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2023-02-26 at 03:03 AM.
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  3. - Top - End - #693
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    3786.) Pelor the Pelor
    3787.) The Ordinances of the Priests of Old Thay
    3788.) Doubt in the Mind: Crafting Subtle Illusions
    3889.) Gangsters Over Greyhawk
    3890.) Temple Architecture in New Draconia
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
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  4. - Top - End - #694
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    3891.) The Joy of Failure
    3892.) A Record of Atrocities
    3893.) Practical Hamartiology
    3894.) Applied Death Studies
    3895.) Game Theoretic Underpinnings of the Aligned Planes
    3896.) Manifold Manifolds
    3897.) Practical Atrocities
    3898.) The Screw and More

    3899.) Numerology of the Selfless Herd
    3900.) The Dark Art of Tidying Up
    3901.) The Pawn
    3902.) The Pauper
    3903.) The Extended Genome
    3904.) The Origin of Miracles
    3905.) The Blind Watcher
    3906.) The Book of Virile Darkness
    3907.) Bedknobs and Boomsticks
    3908.) The Little Sahuagin
    3909.) River out of Pandemonium
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2023-03-29 at 01:48 PM.
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  5. - Top - End - #695
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    3907.) Bedknobs and Boomsticks
    I think you mean "bread knots and boomsticks".
    3910.) The art of war profiteering
    3911.) Twiddle Your Wickersham
    3912.) Puddle to the Sea
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
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  6. - Top - End - #696
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    3913.) Illumination Rumination
    3914.) Bard, the Beetle
    3915.) Pinning the Tail, How to Disguise Your Donkey
    3916.) Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes: Chakras and Yoga
    3917.) Lead, Holster, Squeeze, and Throes: A Guide to Firearms
    3918.) Bed, Colder, Fleece, and Clothes: A Guide to Sleeping Warm
    3919.) Flapjacks vs Pancakes? Jack's Struggle: Cake Addiction (an autobiography)
    3920.) Pick Your Brains: A Guide for Young Illithids
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  7. - Top - End - #697
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    3921.) Push Brooms and Breadsticks
    3922.) The Lesser Key of Revelin'
    3923.) The Ars Gauche
    3924.) The Book of Seven Thunders
    3925.) The Book of Reveling
    3926.) Works and Deeds
    3927.) The Lesser Key of Silicon
    3928.) The Key of Salmon
    3929.) The Lesser Key of Slenderman
    3930.) Sedimentary Dominion
    3931.) The Ars Gojira
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2023-07-06 at 05:28 PM.
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  8. - Top - End - #698
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    3754.) Master List of Santa's Political Opponents

    (did I already say Master List of Santa's Political Opponents before?)
    A Quick "Find" in my spreadsheet only found one instance of Santa: 3754.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    3786.) Pelor the Pelor
    3787.) The Ordinances of the Priests of Old Thay
    3788.) Doubt in the Mind: Crafting Subtle Illusions
    3889.) Gangsters Over Greyhawk
    3890.) Temple Architecture in New Draconia
    We somehow skipped a hundred titles here, making the latest entry:
    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    3831.) The Ars Gojira
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  9. - Top - End - #699
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3832.) Sticksation
    3833.) Cows Have Always Existed
    3834.) Pronouncements of a Bored Child
    3835.) Pronouncements of a Bored Child 2: What Are You Doing?
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  10. - Top - End - #700
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    Quote Originally Posted by Lvl 2 Expert View Post
    3581) Player's Handbook, Dungeons and Dragons -8th edition
    3582) Dungeon Master's Guide, Dungeons and Dragons -8th edition
    3583) Monster Manual, Dungeons and Dragons -8th edition

    Ooh this would be fun to toss in a game lol as the overall details would be right- fire or acid hurts trolls, hydras grow more heads, etc, but the specifics are always slightly different edition to edition, like whether mimics and vargoyilles can talk or not or if warforged have souls and so on. Just useful enough to be a bonus to some knowledge type check but just useless enough to be confusing to explain failures
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  11. - Top - End - #701
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    (3836) "How to Properly Clean Your Orbs" by Harry Testimus, the Orb Collector
    (3837) "The Crack, The Jack, and The Abjuration Spell Gone Wrong" An entertainment book for wizards, by Nong Firebelly.
    (3838) "The Unfathomable Rod" by Joses Lempy.
    (3839) "The Wizard Who Only Knew Counterspells" by John Morgahurtz.

  12. - Top - End - #702
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3840. Instructions for the Netherworld (no author; quadragesimo-octavo format; held in a glass display case, inclined at an 84° angle; consists of thin sheets of gold foil spearated by sheets of parchment, with crude inscriptions in an angular alphabet on the foil);
    3841. An Illuminated Guide to Wintertime Songbirds and How to Help Them (no author; folio book bound in canvas with many illustrations, all in colour);
    3842–3849. The Mole's Cookbook; vols. 1–8 (no author; 8 thick books bound in soft leather containing recipes of dishes prepared from gnomes; vols. 3 and 8, that is, Soups and Desserts show signs of more extensive use than the rest);
    3850. The Book of the Liar, transcribed as heard by Khefit Musa, Holder of the Whip (a lengthy, at least partly fictional travelogue bound in crocodile hide);
    3851. Hortensa's Chief Elements of Rhetorics (octodecimo book with marbled covers; perused often);
    3852. Baro's Compendium on Oratory (cheap, canvas-bound edition; perused often);
    3853. The Practice of the Tongue, by Agaton Rhetor (octavo book, with the text rubricated elegantly and often; shows signs of extensive use);
    3854. The Practice of the Throat, by Agaton Rhetor (as above);
    3855. Agaton Rhetor's Collected Orations (duodecimo book with gilded covers, showing wear and tear and with marginalia from an unknown hand);
    3856. Soliloquia, by Agaton Rhetor (octavo book; a more recent edition than the Practices);
    3857. Through the Wounds, by Batasat of the Black Bridge (duodecimo notebook; a manuscript collection of poems with a strong fixation on the themes of vampirism and decay);
    3858. The Horned Beast, by Junior Elder Isaader Santakis (at least 9 specimens of various editions; none seems to ever have been opened);
    3859. The Wealth of Andventures [sic!] of One Ros the Clever (no author; duodecimo book bound in faded red leather; the middle of the pages with the entire text has been carved out to make room for an ancient lead tablet inscribed with pictograms);
    Last edited by Metastachydium; 2023-07-16 at 10:19 AM.

  13. - Top - End - #703
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    3860.) The Annals of the Cult of the Great Tree of Psyloboros (300 pages in no less than 12 hands recording the foundation and rituals of a tree cult. Extensive marginalia shows that at least 3 subsequent tree cults have used this book.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  14. - Top - End - #704
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    3861. The Bountiful Shallows by a certain "Urist" (a small but luxuriously decorated and quite thick volume on ways to capture and process merfolk, and to market their various body parts);

  15. - Top - End - #705
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    3862.) a holy book enchanted to append the fake bible verse from Pulp Fiction to the end of whatever passage is currently being read
    3863.) art folio: Gray Pictures of Durian Fruits
    3864.) The Wisdom of Slaloming
    3865.) Math With Disturbing Drawings
    3866.) Ode to a Greasy Urn
    3867.) Subpar Horror in Literature
    3868.) The Illuminated Guide to the Illuminati
    3869.) Order In The Grid

    EDIT:

    3870.) Spores Illustrated
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2023-08-19 at 02:58 PM.
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  16. - Top - End - #706
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3871. The Annal of the Long Road, by Gerborg the Posthumous (octavo book bound in black leather, documenting instances of succesful predation by an unspecified creature);
    3872. The Annal of the Cartwheel, by Gerborg the Poshumous (same format; documents disappearences along a four mile stretch of a highway over a year);
    3873. Pale Histories, by Gerborg the Psothumous ("the Posthumous" struck through with red ink, with two notes from the same hand scribbled underneath: "the Lesser, not the same" and "try as she might"; impossibly thick octodecimo book with brown and yellow marbled covers, presenting the last days of several hundred commoners in detail);
    3874. The Time of the Orc, by Letterman Melanpus (comparative treatise on various forms of Orc battle magic, with a political manifesto for an epilogue; part of the latter has been torn out);
    3875. The Great Seals, by Bloutos the Sea-Man (folio book bound in thick, brown-gray leather; contains a practical anatomy of dire pinnipeds; on the fifth page, there is a handwritten note in broad, irate cursive reading "got to be kidding me"; the book is tucked behind a whole row of other books);
    3876. The Great Seals, by Bleatta of the Helm (folio book with sturdy hardwood tables for covers; contains high arcane sigils reproduced on magically inert vellum, with notes and descriptions);

  17. - Top - End - #707
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    3877.) a numerological research paper attempting to determine/disambiguate whether a certain mystical property of numbers is keyed to their digit sum, their digital root, or their ones place in base 9
    3878.) a paper attempting to explain alignment in terms of polar coordinates rather than the traditional cartesian-style law-chaos and good-evil axiis
    3879.) a text positing a heirarchy of the outer gods in which Yog-Sothoth is the most primal, presiding over space and time and the fundamental fields, azathoth is below him ruling over matter and field excitations, shub-niggurath is below azathoth and rules over life and biological evolution, and Nyarlathotep ruling over thought and memetic evolution. Each of them arising out of the one before them. Additionally, Azathoth IS the music made by his servitors and Yog-Sothoth is the instrument, and if the servitors were ever to stop playing all matter and energy in the universe would disappear.
    3880.) A treatise proposing that deities, overdeities, and arch-exemplars have the same total power level, but spread across different areas; Overgods have absolute control over relatively small areas, and exemplar lords have limited influence over wide swathes of the multiverse. Ordinary deities are somewhere in-between.
    3881.) a document arguing that the malevolent supernatural entities Loi-Goi, Lloigor, and Eligor are all simply different garbled names for the same entity
    3882.) Uncle Satan's Big Book of Death Spells
    3883.) The Two Rites of Reversing
    3884.) The Music of the Strings
    3885.) Reflections On Optics
    3886.) The White Winged Dove
    3887.) The One-Winged Dove
    3888.) The Devil With 1000 Masks
    3889.) A Hateful Sky
    3890.) Quaint And Curious Forgotten Lore Vol 1-7
    3891.) The Maven
    3892.) The Books of Drowning
    3893.) The Little Engine That Could Summon Spirits and Move Things With Its Mind
    3894.) The Little Engine That Could See Dead People
    3895.) The Little Engine That Could Have Been A Contender
    3896.) The Bopit Necronomicon
    3897.) Where Sanity Ends
    3898.) A Brief History of the Sages
    3899.) Harmonious Principles/Principles of Harmony
    3900.) The Book of the Submanifold
    3901.) On Profane Disease
    3902.) The Very Hungry Cannibal
    3903.) Death, The Afterlife, and Everything
    3904.) Sammy the Gerbil and his Muffin Adventure*

    EDIT:
    3905.) a response to #3879 with the heirarchy switched around

    *(cf the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode with the angel and the juggalos)
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2023-10-25 at 05:33 PM.
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  18. - Top - End - #708
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3906.) The Care and Maintenance of Turbo-Encabulators.
    3906.) Johnny Biscuit is a Big Idiot and I Hate Him Forever
    Quote Originally Posted by Wardog View Post
    Rockphed said it well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Starfall
    When your pants are full of crickets, you don't need mnemonics.
    Dragontar by Serpentine.

    Now offering unsolicited advice.

  19. - Top - End - #709
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3908.) A Practical Guide to Mundane Electricity by Nikita Tesla
    3909.) No More Groundhog Days: Time Loop Avoidance For Time Wizards by Phil Connors, Haruhi Suzumiya et al.
    3910.) Wizard Comics #1
    mew

  20. - Top - End - #710
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3911. The Manual of the Watch-Maker, by A. C. Lubek (small book bound in black canvas with detailed instructions for assembling mechanical timepieces);
    3912. The Manual of the Giant, by Ah-Hassal, Fifth Logothete of the Court (folio book bound in black leather with gilded corners and an intricate symbol in red pressed into the front; a paraenetical treatise for theocrats-in-training);
    3913. The Book of the Serpent (empty octavo book with a resetting Sepia Snake Sigil on each page);
    3914–3945. The Comprehensive Archontology of All Realms and Provinces, fasc. 1, 4–19, 27–29, 41–52 (quarto format; bound in faded yellow-brown paper barely thicker or better in quality than the cheap matter used for the pages);
    Last edited by Metastachydium; 2023-12-04 at 12:04 PM. Reason: It's official, so it's official!

  21. - Top - End - #711
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3946.) Lobsters And Their Kin*
    3947.) The Declaration of Chemical Dependence
    3948.) Two Super Mario Brothers From Verona
    3949.) Mobsters and Their Kind
    3950.) Defective Comics
    3951.) The Shellfish Gene
    3952.) The Queen In Red
    3953.) Space and the Devil
    3954.) What the Walrus Said to The Oyster
    3955.) playbill from "Best Little Shop of Horrors in Texas"

    *(from a Future Worm episode)
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2023-12-03 at 10:45 AM.
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  22. - Top - End - #712
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    Quote Originally Posted by Metastachydium View Post
    3914–3945. The Comprehensive Archontology of All Realms and Provinces, fasc. 1, 4–19, 27–29, 41–52 (quarto format; bound in faded yellow-brown paper barely thicker or better in quality than the cheap matter used for the pages);
    I'm going to count this as a single entry with multiple volumes.

    That means our most current entry is:
    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    3924: playbill from "Best Little Shop of Horrors in Texas"
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  23. - Top - End - #713
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3956) Guess What Spell I Prepared on the Book This Morning - a book depicting how to cast 'fun' spells like Explosive Runes, Glyph of Warding and Nharly's Wicked Word. Only works on the book, unfortunately.

  24. - Top - End - #714
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Torath View Post
    I'm going to count this as a single entry with multiple volumes.
    You know what, that's fair. Can't blame me for trying though!

    Quote Originally Posted by Killerkat View Post
    39563925) Guess What Spell I Prepared on the Book This Morning - a book depicting how to cast 'fun' spells like Explosive Runes, Glyph of Warding and Nharly's Wicked Word. Only works on the book, unfortunately.
    Is it near the Book of the Serpent by any chance?

  25. - Top - End - #715
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3926.) a document written in alchemical jargon which correctly describes how to build an atomic bomb
    3927.) The Peppered Psalter/Piperaceae Psalter
    3928.) The Duke Ellington Bible
    3929.) Index of Dead Gods
    3930.) On the Sending Out for Noodles
    3931.) The Pasiphae Scriptures
    3932.) Tsaroid Psalms
    3933.) Thyroid Salves
    3934.) Tauroid Psalms
    3935.) The Canape Scriptures
    3936.) The Scion Out of Space
    3937.) Formal Dinner
    3938.) Worlds in Collusion
    3939.) The Scroll of the Gorilla
    3940.) The States of Matter Address
    3941.) Singers in the Hands of an Angry God
    3942.) Cheetos On the Fingers of a Hangry God
    3943.) The Alcoholicon
    3944.) a skull marked up with compass and straightedge geometric constructions demonstrating the principles of elliptic geometry
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2024-01-08 at 12:34 AM.
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  26. - Top - End - #716
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3945. Sections and Workings, by Chief's Healer Kruug Broadjaw (illustrated folio with a detailed account of vivisections performed on various humanoids, mostly Eleves; bound in soft, pale leather);
    3946. Maladaptations, by Chief's Healer Kruug Broadjaw (octavo book between smooth, black leather covers ridiculing the various ways in which Drow don't make sense as a subterranean race);
    3947. The Encyclopaedia of Laruus (folio work organized alphabetically; in four volumes);
    3948. The Encyclopaedia of Pridain (eighteen thick quarto volumes bound in blue canvas with gilded corners);

  27. - Top - End - #717
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    Default Re: What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

    3949.) The Book of Unemployment
    3950.) The Nutritionomicon
    3951.) The Hellbound Hand
    3952.) The Stolen Stele
    3953.) The Little Engine That Should Not Be
    3954.) Le Gros Albert
    3955.) The Book of Perfect Light
    3956.) The Book of Spectres
    3957.) The Ill-Dressed Knight
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