What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

[TheTeaMustFlow]

327: Ardent to Wilder, Being a Complete Treatise on the Psionic Arts, etc. - Lord Saeomon, Cerebremancer.
328: Suel Expeditionary Field Guide: Underdark - Laszlo Strasser, Suel Arcanamach.
329: Fearful Symmetry: An Account of the Last Rakshasa War - Sky Marshal Yvonne 'Catslayer' Ugarte, 4th Human Interstellar.
330: Denying the Urge to Theurge, A Case against the Combination of Arcane and Divine - Caphodel Berrendar, Master Specialist..
331: Simply Fascinating! Memoirs of a Magus, vol. II - Kalind Leschay, Ultimate Magus.
332: The 'Mage Armour' Myth: A Rebuttal - Caspian LaMont, Abjurant Champion.
333: Criminal Dossier #628: Leruun Anstrun, 'Eldritch Disciple' (Heresy, Treason, Vandalism) - Kory Stargazer, Commonwealth Star Chamber.
334: Criminal Dossier #793: Oslavan Kaligos, 'Eldritch Theurge' (Proscribed Arcana, Murder, Theft of Commonwealth Property) - Kory Stargazer, Commonwealth Star Chamber.
335: People Change: A Biography of Torgar Coalhair, the Enlightened Spirit - Arilus Gendor, former Innkeeper.
336: The Holy Scourge: Confessor Ruprecht Varsuun, and His Part in My Downfall - Count Lucius Darvold, Vampire Lord, twice deceased.
337: Music is Life, Music is Death - Lalage Amatifa, Lyric Thaumaturge
338: Criminal Dossier #912: Lukaas Duskwhisper 'Nightmare Spinner' (Proscribed Arcana, Espionage, Mass Murder) - Kory Stargazer, Commonwealth Star Chamber.
339: Nothing to Understand: On the Futility of Comprehending the Wild Soul - Archdruid Vadania, speech given to the Green Conclave prior to its schism.

[Cealocanth]

340: So You Want to be a Lich - Five Easy Steps to a More Skeletal You by Archmage Morthog the Destroyer
341: Web of Lies - A Despot's Guide to Power by King William the Terrible
342: Tides of War - Memoirs of an Old Orc By Grognar Maneater
343: Bits and Pieces - Making the Most of Your Spare Parts by Rev. Thomas the Fallen
344: The Meditations of Our Hearts - The Writings of the Lost Men of Dagon by Lord Tiberius II
345: The Problem with Pixies by Ellandria Stone
346: How I Got Back Alive - An Apocryphist's Guide to The Elemental Plane of Evil by Erdur Mellanger
347: An Idiot's Guide to Summoning Circles by Alesheva Moore
348: Those Wretched Halls - Maps and Records from the Halls of Eternal Torment by Michael Chandler

[Bohandas]

Parodies of the kind of random book names Dwarf Fortress generates:

349. I Can't Believe It's Not the Human
350. Can Idle Speculation Save The World?
351. Understanding Confusion
352. To Arrogance and Glory
353. Could It Be Uncertainty?
354. And She Sang Bawdy Tavern Songs

Actual book names generated in my current Dwarf Fortress game

355. Captivated by Worried Doom
356. True Rythm
357. Victory By The Path of the Moon
358. The World Without the Center
359. A Humble Offering To The Gutter
360. A Meditation On Eclipses
361. A World of Predator and Prey
362. Anguish and the Trampled Fury
363: Animal Diseases: Problems and Solutions
364. Animal Courtship: My Only Mistake
365. The Book of Knowledge
366. Book of the Moving World
367. Can the Sun and Moon Save the World?
368. Commentary on Trade Maps
369. Civilization Might Help
370. Concerning Predator and Prey
371. Discourse on Perception
372. Dissection: Problems and Solutions
373. Do We Understand the Path of the Moon
374. Elements of the Quadratic Equation
375. Errors in Anatomy
376. Explorations of the MountainHome
377. Exploring Animal Embryos
378. Factual Humans: A New Approach
379. For The Love of Making Maps
380. The Great Stationary Sun
381. Ignorance in the Modern Era
382. In Pursuit of the Moon's Path
383. Inquiries on Trade
384. Inquiries on the Food Chain
385. Journey to Knowledge
386. Journey to the Moon
387. Joy Explained
388. Life With Humans
389. Lonesome Freedom
390. Master of the Stars
391. Meditations on Social Animals
392. Memories and Nothing More
393. Misconceptions about the Sun and Moon
394. Mysteries of Civilization
395. Observation For Students
396. Ores in the Age of Myths
397. Principles of Rainfall
398. Rainfall and Rivers, My Life
399. Records of Lunar Phases
400. Reflections on the Body
401. Secret Observation
402. Secret Surgery
403. Social Animals: A Brief Introduction
404. Strange Animal Diets
405. Strange Stars
406. The Facts: My Only Mistake
407. Equations: The Definitive Guide
408. The Future of the Stars
409. Goblins in the Age of Myth
410. The Human: A Brief Introduction
411. Secrets of the Economy
412. The Soul: Fact or Fiction?
413. The Study of Trees
414. The Wizard's Guide to Adhesives
415. The Wizard's Guide to Anatomy
416. The World of the Warrior
417. Thoughts On The Poor
418. Traditional Metals
419. Treatise on Dwarves

pausing the list for a moment for an aside

420. The Dank Hemp Sutra, by Olidammara (attributed)

continuing the list

421. Uncanny Wind Patterns
422. Victory By Dissection

[Eldan]

423. Keraunomancy for Beginners, by Shesasalk Garr
424. And yet it Moves - Advanced Telekinesis, Author Unknown
425. YS ATUN VRAMA PRESH - Seven Syllables of Royalty
426. Codex of Supernatural Planar Diseases by Findelwald Tungsten
427. Deliberations on the Blood Queen of Minauros by Viscount Mammon
428. Fundamentals of Magic, by Armory 99
429. The Planetouched: from Fiend to Fomor, by Lexicat Kull
430. Magical Essences: from Amber to Zirconium, by
431. Stay 5 Miles Upwind, a Beginner's Guide to Phlogiston, by Ragnar Sunnafried
432. A Lexicon of Infernal Truenames from A...[Rest ist is burned]
433. The Stars Behind the Stars , by Kreesam Rahandra
434. Nigredo - Destruction and the Magnum Opus, by N. Flamel
435. Why not use Fire? - Creative Problemsolving, by Ashakaraxelehsvanatorus, the Crimson Claw
436. Behind and Between - the Astral Plane, by Liram Laxat
437. Magical Creatures and How to Eat them, by Xanxost
438. I knew you would find this, [Player Character] - A very specific Guide to Divination

[Cealocanth]

425. YS ATUN VRAMA PRESH - Seven Syllables of Royalty

I don't know how you're pronouncing this, but I count six syllables. Is that the point?

439: The Alchemical Soup - An Augur's Guide to Alchemical Abiogenesis by Dark Lord Therin Stonehammer

[Gildedragon]

440: Messianic Prophecies of the Great Ocean: Xozs En'wan

[Eldan]

I don't know how you're pronouncing this, but I count six syllables. Is that the point?

I am a consumate liar and the seventh syllable is not spoken with the tongue of flesh.

441: The Iron Rose: Lady Melissa Heartwright and the Unseelie Wars

[Bohandas]

From my now defunct MSPA messageboard forum adventure "Ekolid"

442. Field Guide to Common Mortal Bipeds
443. Bettor's Guide to The Blood War
444. Hot Bodies - A character examining this book will find it to be filled with detailed woodcuts of people burning to death

[Cealocanth]

445.) What Color is a White Horse - An Illusionist's Guide to Optics by Perrin Fritzcannon

[Bohandas]

446.) The Coloring Book Out Of Space



447.) The Omnomnomicon: 666 Evil Recipes

448.) Your Stupid Minds: A Guide to Manipulatiin

449.) 101 Bawdy Hymns

[JAL_1138]

450: With a Thousand Lies and a Good Disguise: the Bard's Handbook, Vol. 1
451: The Joker and the Thief: the Bard's Handbook, Vol. 2
452: Sound the Horn and Call the Cry: the Bard's Handbook, Vol. 3

[Nashira]

I made this one up for a short film I wrote/filmed a little while ago.
453: Mystical Venereal Diseases - a medical journal on diseases one might catch whilst courting the more "exotic" members from beyond the material plane. I can provide some examples of anyone is curious.

[Bohandas]

From various Mel Brooks movies:

454.) How I Did It (a treatise on the reanimation of dead tissue)

455.) The Theory and Theology of the Evil Undead

[Bohandas]

456.) Classification of Spirits (regarding ghosts and outsiders)
457.) Classification of Spirits (regarding liquor)

I made this one up for a short film I wrote/filmed a little while ago.
453: Mystical Venereal Diseases - a medical journal on diseases one might catch whilst courting the more "exotic" members from beyond the material plane. I can provide some examples of anyone is curious.

That sounds extremely interesting

445.) What Color is a White Horse - An Illusionist's Guide to Optics by Perrin Fritzcannon

Grey if we believe the misleading jargon

[Madbox]

I made this one up for a short film I wrote/filmed a little while ago.
453: Mystical Venereal Diseases - a medical journal on diseases one might catch whilst courting the more "exotic" members from beyond the material plane. I can provide some examples of anyone is curious.

If they have that, then they might have...
458: Play Being, Entertainment for Sapients, with every monthly issue for the past 500 years

[Bohandas]

459.) History of Notable Cursed Gems and Jewelry

EDIT:
460.) Index of Band Books by the cult of Heward
461.) Construction of Urban Housing Using Non-Standard Building Materials by Zagyg Yragerne
462.) Paranormal Urban Development by Zagyg Yragerne
463.) Stone etched copy of epic spell Zagyg's Towering Inferno

Evocation (Fire)
Spellcraft DC: 81

Components: V, S, M, F, focus, xp
Casting Time: 11 minutes
Range: 300 Feet
Area: four 60 foot wide by 200 foot high walls and twenty 60 foot by 60 foot floors
Durion: Permanent
Saving Throw: Yes
Spell Resistence: Yes
To Develop: Seed energy (200x200 wall of flame) (DC 19) factors: increase area to 3x (+8), unusual shape (ad hoc +3), permanemt (x5) increase cating time by 10 minutes (-20), Decrease damage die 1 step (-5), component: wand of wall of fire (ad hoc -8, based on the wand's xp cost to create), focus: ring of fire elemental command (ad hoc -16, based on xp cost divided by 5), burn 2000 xp (-20)

Conjusres a 60 foot wide, 200 foot high, 20 story building made of fire. One side of each wall and floor, selected by the caster, sends forth waves of energy, dealing 2d3 points of fire damage to creatures within 10 feet and 1d3 points of fire damage to those past 10 feet but within 20 feet. The wall deals this damage when it appears and in each round that a creature enters or remains in the area. In addition, the wall deals 2d4+20 points of fire damage to any creature passing through it. Even if the spell fails it still creates four regular Walls of Fire along the tower's base which appear 6 minutes into casting and persist for 1 round per caster level afterward

Focus: A Ring 0f Fire Element Command. All of its spells must be ready to use when the castib starts and all are discharged by the time the spellcasting ends (so one would need to wait a day after casting the spell before one could use the ring again for wall of Fire, and a week before one could use it for Flame Strike)

Material component: A fully charged wand of Wall of Fire, which is completely depleted by the spell.

XP Cost: 2000 xp

[Gildedragon]

464.) Z'zagats Guide to The Planes
465.) Myghellin's Divinatory Almanac

[Bohandas]

466.) Interpretation of Dreams
467.) Magic Runes Made E Z

[Lentrax]

468-487. A Brief History of the Fourth Wizard War. (Abridged)

[Bohandas]

488.) Madhouse Powerhouse: Harnessing the Power of the Outer Planes Through Delusion

[Segev]

489) Final Words (a collection of copies of the last pages of journals written by adventurers who died while on quests)

490) Serpent Sorting (a book on various kinds of snakes. Protected by sepia's snake sigil and contains both that spell and summon monster VII with an emphasis on how to use it to call snakes)

[Bohandas]

491.) The End Was The Beginning: The Retrocausal Descent of Illithids From Githyanki Stock

[Bohandas]

492.) Journal of High Energy Metaphysics
493.) The Onyx Tablet of Boccob
494.) The Starving Peasant Diet

[The Bandicoot]

495.) Capriciously Callous Cantrips
496.)Effaciously Effervescent Evocations
497.)Divinely Deterrent Divinations

[Segev]

498.) On The Summoning And Binding of the Demon Abcdefghijklmnopqurstuvwxys.

[Eldan]

495: Migmar's Micronomicon: A guide to appropriately sized spells for the Tiny
Contains 40 spells for faeries and other very small spellcasters who will rarely ever need to set something on fire that's 20 feet in diameter.

496: The Shadow War: Eladrin, Succubi, Rakshasa and Others, by Zerpeflex Krin
On the impact of powerful shapeshifters with political agendas on mortal civilizations. Draws the surprising conclusion that a lot of their impact was actually positive.

[The Bandicoot]

501.)Over Half-way There: A Guide to Intermediate Teleportation

[One Step Two]

502: Treatises on Time Travel Volume 3: By Vardus the Mad, published 1235 DR
503: Treatises on Time Travel Volume 2: By Vardus the Mad, published 1242 DR
504: Treatises on Time Travel Volume 1: By Vardus the Mad, published 1247 DR

[Bohandas]

505.) Multiversal Principles
---
506.) The Divine Docudrama
507.) Liberation Through Swearing During the Intermediate State
508.) The Book of Coming Forth Around Eleven-ish

[Feralgeist]

In a game I'm currently in i made up the title of

509.) Interdimensional stonemasonry: 86 ways to cook for a Xorn.