What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

[JAL_1138]

613: If I Ever Leave This World Alive: A Bard's Guide to Resurrection and Planar Travel
614: The Generalist: How to Do Everything
615: The Charismatic and the Dead: Paladin Combat Training for Sorcerers and Bards

[Tiktik Ironclaw]

616. 101 Utility Spells: The Generalist's Edition
617. Wizards: You Are the Best, by Monty the Cook
618. Pole-Arms or Spiked Chains? A Treatise on Armament Fetishes
619. Kobolds, by Tucker
620. The Lust of the Sinister Drow Priestesses, by Sal Acious
621. Hobgoblin Homecooking: 42 Meals with Gouda Cheese, by Bluecloak
622. Dark Romance, a Lolth/Eilistraee fic
623. Being an Enchanter: Don't, by Pow Regammer
624. The Guide to Pest Removal: Munchkins, by Darnius Morel

[TheFamilarRaven]

625: On Teaching Sorcery: How to Teach the Control, Focus and Applications of In-Born Magics, Zera Lorecast

626: Sorcerers Study Magic Too: A Compilation of Treatises, Essays and Journals by Famous Sorcerers

627: So You Want to Be A God? - A Wizardly Guidebook. Author unknown, but the first copy was discovered in a monastery operated by treants.

[JAL_1138]

628: How to Use Lead Sheeting to Block Scrying Attempts by the Squirrels Living in Your Eyesockets and Rutabaga Flip-Flop Finagle Xylophone Oh God My Teeth are Melting You Damnable Stridulation, by Arglevar the Mad (published posthumously after his death from lead poisoning in CE 468)

[Segev]

629: Completely Innocuous Uses for Lead Sheeting In Your Completely Legitimate Place Of Business by Eve L. Innkeeper

[Lentrax]

630: Proper Packing Techniques for Your Bag of Holding, by Fastegrath the Fastidiously Neat and Organized.

[JAL_1138]

631: A Well-Crafted Wish: Arcane, Theological, and Legal Experts from Across the Planes Weigh In on Wording Wishes to Prevent Unforseen Calamities and the Monkey's Paw Effect. (About half of the only known copy of this book is illegible, due to severe charring that exhibits the characteristic Lichtenberg figures of a lightning strike).

[Twelvetrees]

632: Basket Weaving in Sahuagin Society by Und R. Water

633: Peryton Origins: Fact and Fiction by Hart Less

634: I, Warforged by Izak Uzamuv, gnomish artificer (Interesting fact: I, Robot was published by Gnome Press)

[Doorhandle]

631: A Well-Crafted Wish: Arcane, Theological, and Legal Experts from Across the Planes Weigh In on Wording Wishes to Prevent Unforseen Calamities and the Monkey's Paw Effect. (About half of the only known copy of this book is illegible, due to severe charring that exhibits the characteristic Lichtenberg figures of a lightning strike).

...What happens if I cast make whole on the book?

[JAL_1138]

...What happens if I cast make whole on the book?

Might work. However, if you were successful, and attempted to use it for a Wish, the implication of its current condition is that you might find out there was a very good reason nobody bothered to repair it.

[Beleriphon]

All from Skyrim, because that game actually had awesome books.

635. Amongst the Dead - Bernadette Bantien
...An Accounting of the Elder Scrolls - Quintus Nerevelus
...Antecedants of Dwaven Law - Anonymous
...Book of the Dragonborn - Prior Emelene Madrine
...Cats of The Land - Aldetuile
...Children of the Sky - Anonymous
...Darkest Darkness - Anonymous
...Dragon Language: Myth no More - Hela Thrice-Versed
...Dwarves - Calcelmo
...Dwarven History and Culture - Hasphat Antabolis
...Dwarven Inquiries - Thelwe Ghelein
...Effects of the Elder Scrolls - Justinius Poluhnius, Anstius Metchim
...Fall From Glory - Nithilis Lidari
...Fragment: On Artaeum - Taurce il-Anselma
...Glories and Laments - Alexandre Hetrard
...Keepers of the Razor - Anonymous
...Lycanthropic Legends of The Land - Lentulus Inventius
...Magic from the Sky - Irlav Jarol
...Master Illusion Text - Anonymous
...Notes on Dimhollow Crypt, Vol. 3 - Adalvald
...Notes on Racial Phylogeny and Biology - Council of Healers
...On Hell - Morian Zenas
...Physicalities of Warewolves - Reman Crex
...Sacred Witness - Enric Milnes
...Shalidor's Insights - Shalidor
...Souls, Black and White - Anonymous
...Sovngarde: A Reexamination - Bereditte Jastal
...The "Madmen" of the Reach - Arrianus Arius
...The Doors of the Multiverse - Seif-ij Hidja
...The Dragon Break - Fal Droon
...Reexamines the Dragonbreak in historical terms.
...The Dreamstride - Anonymous
...The Fall of Saarthal - Heseph Chirirnis
...The Nirnroot Missive - Sinderion; Sharmirin Raythorne, ed.
...The Waters of the Abyss- Anonymous
...The Wispmother - Mathias Etienne
...There be Dragons - Torhal Bjorik
...Treatise on Dwarven Cities - Anonymous
...Varieties of Daedra - Aranea Drethan
675. Watcher of Stones - Gelyph Sig

[Jama7301]

676. Ceasefire and Trade Agreement between the Elves of the North and the Orc Tribes of the West

[Bohandas]

From Dungeons of Dredmor
677.) Cloud Formations and Other Occult Phenomena
678.) The Little Red Cookbook

[Bohandas]

679.) Uncle Arcane's Big Book O' Magic Spells

[Lacco]

680. How To Read Dark Omens: Practical Guide to Predicting Deaths with Illustrations by Isolde of Nimward
681. The Summoner Who Cried "Dragon"! - Cautionary Tale (Folk Tales, collected by Inawyn Auswarian)
682. Impact of Screamers on Dungeon Population: Statistical Analysis by Razin Firr, Bursar of Mage Guild
683. Beginner's Guide to Necromancy Spells - Exercise Scrolls IV-X: Animate Skeletal Finger, Mold Bone, Speaking Skull, Ghost Toothpick, Desecrate Plate, Summon Undead Rat, Wither Indoor Plant; Spirigos of Aulvin et al.
684. Compendium of Familiars by unknown wizard
685. Famous Sages of Lost Kindgoms: A Treatise by Ichtor the Mad

[Bohandas]

686. Tobin's Spirit Guide

[BootStrapTommy]

521: 1,001 Ways to Die: Concerning the Subject of Water and its Many Dangers

687. Unsafe at Any Depth: The Designed-In Dangers of Water
689. The Protocols of the Meetings of the Learned Wizards-Who-Do-It
670. 101 Alternative Uses for Mage Hand
671. Wake Up, You're in a Coma
672. I Prepare Explosives Runes Today, by Vaarsuvius
673. Stop Breaking Into My House: A Treaty on the Morality of Dungeon Delving
674. A Well-feed Xorn is a Friendly Xorn: Surviving Underground
675. Stick 'Em With the Pointy End: Swordplay for Idiots and Wizards
676. A Beginner's Guide to Not Dying: Holy ****, We Live in a World With Dragons
677. Big Ass Book o' Big Ass Monster
678. Why Elves Suck: Observations of a Dwarf
679. Can I **** It?: A Guide to Love in a Diverse World
680. Seriously, You're in a Coma
681. Why We Can't Have Nice Things: A Treay on the Human Race

Spoiler: Skyrim

Show

All from Skyrim, because that game actually had awesome books.

635. Amongst the Dead - Bernadette Bantien
...An Accounting of the Elder Scrolls - Quintus Nerevelus
...Antecedants of Dwaven Law - Anonymous
...Book of the Dragonborn - Prior Emelene Madrine
...Cats of The Land - Aldetuile
...Children of the Sky - Anonymous
...Darkest Darkness - Anonymous
...Dragon Language: Myth no More - Hela Thrice-Versed
...Dwarves - Calcelmo
...Dwarven History and Culture - Hasphat Antabolis
...Dwarven Inquiries - Thelwe Ghelein
...Effects of the Elder Scrolls - Justinius Poluhnius, Anstius Metchim
...Fall From Glory - Nithilis Lidari
...Fragment: On Artaeum - Taurce il-Anselma
...Glories and Laments - Alexandre Hetrard
...Keepers of the Razor - Anonymous
...Lycanthropic Legends of The Land - Lentulus Inventius
...Magic from the Sky - Irlav Jarol
...Master Illusion Text - Anonymous
...Notes on Dimhollow Crypt, Vol. 3 - Adalvald
...Notes on Racial Phylogeny and Biology - Council of Healers
...On Hell - Morian Zenas
...Physicalities of Warewolves - Reman Crex
...Sacred Witness - Enric Milnes
...Shalidor's Insights - Shalidor
...Souls, Black and White - Anonymous
...Sovngarde: A Reexamination - Bereditte Jastal
...The "Madmen" of the Reach - Arrianus Arius
...The Doors of the Multiverse - Seif-ij Hidja
...The Dragon Break - Fal Droon
...Reexamines the Dragonbreak in historical terms.
...The Dreamstride - Anonymous
...The Fall of Saarthal - Heseph Chirirnis
...The Nirnroot Missive - Sinderion; Sharmirin Raythorne, ed.
...The Waters of the Abyss- Anonymous
...The Wispmother - Mathias Etienne
...There be Dragons - Torhal Bjorik
...Treatise on Dwarven Cities - Anonymous
...Varieties of Daedra - Aranea Drethan
675. Watcher of Stones - Gelyph Sig

You forgot the two best:
The Lusty Argonian Maid, by Crassius Curio
The Acturian Heresy, by the Underking Ysmir Kingmaker

[JAL_1138]

687. Unsafe at Any Depth: The Designed-In Dangers of Water
[...]
671. Wake Up, You're in a Coma
[...]
679. Can I **** It?: A Guide to Love in a Diverse World
680. Seriously, You're in a Coma

I love these. My Planescape bard could've_{wake up} used a _{this isn't}copy of #679...there were some_{isn't real} awkward scenarios. And 687 is _{please you have to}both completely_{wake up please wake}true in D&D and _{up wake up not real}a good reference to the 60's book. Why are there just_{please god none of this}blank spaces for _{is real wake up}671 and 680 though?

[Lord Torath]

687. Unsafe at Any Depth: The Designed-In Dangers of Water
689. The Protocols of the Meetings of the Learned Wizards-Who-Do-It
670. 101 Alternative Uses for Mage Hand
671. Wake Up, You're in a Coma
672. I Prepare Explosives Runes Today, by Vaarsuvius
673. Stop Breaking Into My House: A Treaty on the Morality of Dungeon Delving
674. A Well-feed Xorn is a Friendly Xorn: Surviving Underground
675. Stick 'Em With the Pointy End: Swordplay for Idiots and Wizards
676. A Beginner's Guide to Not Dying: Holy ****, We Live in a World With Dragons
677. Big Ass Book o' Big Ass Monster
678. Why Elves Suck: Observations of a Dwarf
679. Can I **** It?: A Guide to Love in a Diverse World
680. Seriously, You're in a Coma
681. Why We Can't Have Nice Things: A Treay on the Human Race
You forgot the two best:
The Lusty Argonian Maid, by Crassius Curio
The Acturian Heresy, by the Underking Ysmir Kingmaker

Interesting numbering scheme....

[JAL_1138]

Interesting numbering scheme....

The correct number for the next book should be 702, not 682.

[khadgar567]

702. dumb, dumber, dumbest guide book to understanding wizards Khadgar the wise

[Corwin Icewolf]

703. Eye of newt, and other things idiots think wizards need for spells. by The angry ox of ouzonia.
704. Yeah, no: a study on creatures with spell resistance, by Byran oomstick.

705. If only we had a sack of potatoes: a guide to unconventional spell components, by Ed Edwards.

706. You're a sorcerer, Harry: explaining the differences and similarities between in born and learned magic, by J.K. Joking

And for the evil wizard who is still a loving parent:

708. One sloaad two sloaad, red sloaad blue sloaad. By Professor Chaos.

[Bohandas]

709.) The Art of the Faustian Compact
710.) It Takes A Village to Raise the Dead, and Other Lessons

[JAL_1138]

711: The Big Gulp: Essays on the Purple Worm and Decanters of Endless Water
712: Doctor Merkwürdigliebe, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the "Locate City" Bomb, by S. Q'brikk

[Lentrax]

686. Tobin's Spirit Guide

713. Spate's Catalog

[Bohandas]

714.) The Homest Book of Truth
715.) The Book of Neuronicus

[JAL_1138]

716: How to win friends and influence people (through mind-controlling magic), by Tybalt Q. Stormsong, Bard; & Xangrazzvol the Witness, Warlock.

[Segev]

717: Making Friends - a Guide to Basic Golemcraft and Necromancy by Lichen & Thrope

[Jama7301]

718. Elf on the Shelf - 53 Tips for Keeping Yourself Safe From Harm by Merribimble Hopsamble

[Lentrax]

719. Elf on the Shelf, Common Uses for Uncommon Ingredients. By Ingrid Radiant.