What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

[khadgar567]

361: Societal Transmutation: the future impact of magic on our world by Emperor Tippy
This book lays out a vision for the world where magic takes a more substantial role, eliminating food and hunger, providing effortless inter regional trade, creating effective immortality for the masses, and so on. It also provides a guide on how a sufficiently powerful mage could create such a world. It's a wonder it hasn't happened yet...

362: Our Secret Goblin Overlords by Xela Nienelefin
The author seems to believe that a cabal of goblinoids and hobgoblins secretly suppress the world's technological and magical progression. He claims this cabal knows most goblins have little talent for either magic or tecnology, and the current state benefits them more than the intelligent races, so they try to keep the world at this status quo and make sure no one finds out about them. Unlike other conspiracy thesis', such as a king being replaced by a Rakshasa or illithids taking over a church, this one seems quite insane.

363: Extinguishing the Day Star by Count Alucard.
It appears to be a research paper on a means to destroy the sun. Alucard claims to have talked with all manner of denizens such as illithids and drow in his research, but though he lays out several possibilities from plausible to impossible all are clearly still purely theoretical

364: Arcanist Revolution by Kezlar von Yther
A long and rambling script calling for the overthrow of the current world system and the instatement of an "enlightened mageocracy" to guide the masses and lead humanoids to greatness. Quite full of logical fallacies including, but not limited to, begging the question, strawmen, and circular reasoning

365: Arcanist Devolution by Hexvorazlin, silver great wyrm
This seems to have been written as a direct rebuttal to Arcanist Revolution, as it takes each point in that back and deconstructs the flaws and real world counter-examples to each one. It also bears an incredibly cynical take on humanoids in general, seemingly viewing them as child-like at best.

366: The Chains of Lust: the Mazzler Edition by Java Tan, Yuroy Mazzler, and Krveero
An infamously poorly written, cliche, groan inducing, and all around bad fiction book about the forbidden love between a half-human half-succubus and a chain devil, featuring a blank-slate female lead that is an obvious audience self-insert and a hunky devil who is not particularly fiendish, aside from the multiple long and drawn out bondage scenes. This edition "improved" with added text compiled by the legendary bard Mazzler, who was able to convince a Gelugon devil named Krveero to offer commentary on the story with him. The book alternates between the horrible original text, Mazzler's snarky comments, and Krveero's seething, unintentionally hilarious rants about how inaccurate and disgraceful everything in the book is about the lower planes.

your number are wrong buddy.

[Lord Torath]

I hate to be the one to point out an error in such a huge undertaking to collect and organize all these entries, but I'm afraid the count is off by one (at least). #608 was duplicated verbatim and entered as #609 as well.

Huh. Well will you look at that. Okay, that's fixed now.
@Segev: JAL's talking about the list in the first two posts in the thread, not the 608 and 609 on page 4 (which are actually 631 and 632 in my consolidated list). Combined with a few other numbering errors, that puts From Atop the Dragon's Back at 0865. Next title at 0866.

[Segev]

866: Weren't There More Of You A Minute Ago? A tome etched in gold plates, which seems initially to be an index of the library, but with books misnumbered and including tomes that aren't there, and mis-titling some that aren't. Burried in it is a plate filled with frustrated scratches and a message that reads, "He's altering them here, too. How can I be sure even this record is beyond his reach?"

[2D8HP]

867. Magic Power to the People Manifesto

Appears much older than it is due to the inferrio parchment and ink used.
Looks to be a screed on giving "Wizards power" to Fighters and Rogues.

The earlier chapters have much underlining and hand written annotations in the margins of such comments as "That will never work!", "The fools", and "as if". Later pages are largely margin comment free, but are even more dog-eared, except for a large "Uh-Oh" near the end.

[Bohandas]

868.) The Dark Lotus Sutra - A collection of the teachings of Olidammara as they pertain to music, the occult, and armed insurrection (the title is a portmanteau of Dark Lotus (a rap supergroup consistig of ICP and Twiztid) and Lotus Sutra (a holy book of the mahayana denomination of buddhism) )

869.) The Third Degree - a manual of enhanced interrogation techniques used by the Iuzite church of evil elemental fire

870.) Ter(r)astructure Engineering - A study of the planet constructing methods of creator gods. By Z.Yragerne and Dr.D.R.Murlynd

[Morphic tide]

871.) Kelt'Hazad's Necromantic Logistics, Delegations and Command Chains(contains the secrets to how, exactly, the BBEGs have proper armies of undead while PCs are stuck with only twice their CL in hit dice, if that)

872.) Gull Dan's Devil Law Guide, a non-Outsider's Guide to Infernal Legal Loopholes(Contains many of the legal loopholes to various common forms of selling one's soul, although the legal jargon involved is written in obscure Infernal terms that even most Devils don't know)

[Uncle Pine]

This thread is AMAZING!

873. Sticks and bones: Necromancy from scratch, by Dhurnak Angernvil - You found yourself naked and stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere? This is the book you want with you!

874. But your soul will never leave me: Thinaun and its uses, by El'udriel A'amis

875. On the adventures of the Great and Powerful Magical Korg, his comrades and his chickens, by Boried Pasternak

[Bohandas]

876.) Mechanisms of Technically Honorable Warfare - This kobold authored book details the construction and use of a number of devices designed to skirt the rules of honorable warfare and combat, including a number of devices designed to deliver a formal declaration of war and then immediately kill the recipient

[khadgar567]

877.) 50 shades of iomedae. Book about iomedean priestes and her nights with incubus

[LokiRagnarok]

878) The Cuisine of the Blue Tribes.
A cooking book. Several of the recipes have been edited with notes, such as "in a pinch, substitute salt with tears" and "delicious with young spider eggs". When cooked according to the edits, the food tastes surprisingly well.

879) "Kassagar Garsarra" by S. Lukyanenko. This small tome is written in blood and contains various hag rituals pertaining to medicine, such as "Easing pain in the kidneys", "Easing birthing pain without ill to the child", "Killing an unborn without ill to the mother" and "Killing an unborn along with the mother".

[JAL_1138]

876.) Mechanisms of Technically Honorable Warfare - This kobold authored book details the construction and use of a number of devices designed to skirt the rules of honorable warfare and combat, including a number of devices designed to deliver a formal declaration of war and then immediately kill the recipient

880) Mechaniſms that Technically Count as Warfare – A treatise on gnomish devices that exploded and/or ran amok, particularly those presented as gifts to foreign governments or noble houses. Includes advice to ambassadors and heads of state of non-gnomish nations as to which types of device are most likely to explode and/or run amok (including such advice as "Do notte accept as a gyfte anythinge of gnomiſh manufacture wyth a boiler, or that otherwyſe maketh uſe of combuſtible fuel or high preſsures, for theſe are nigh-certain to detonate, or rupture and ſpew forth fires or ſcalding ſteam" and "Do notte accept a gyfte of any gnomiſh contraption equipped wyth any form of blade, eſpecially if allejed to be for the purpoſe of ſhaving or trymming of beardes or haire, due to the ſtrong probabilitie of a ſlit throate, ſcalping, or decapitation. Conſider the rampage of the Bronze Barber-Surgeon of 581 Pre-Cataclyſm, in whych half the court of Solamnia was ſcalped at the demonſtration before the infernal machine was deſtroyed by the Knyghts of Solamnia").

[Lentrax]

881. The Lord of the Rings by J.M. Hunter. An autobiography of the rise of the Central Continent's largest fine jewelry wholesaler.

[Lord Raziere]

882. A Song Of Ice and Fire. A Bard's book to instruct one of how to sing an upbeat happy tale about a wolf who braves through deserts and snow to reunite a loving family of lions.
883. The Wheel of Time A very dry history book detailing various clocks throughout the ages

now for a tittle not ripped off from a great author:
884. The Sword King Phenomenon: one Wizard's investigation into why there are so many farm boys suddenly getting cool swords while being the center of a prophecy that proclaims they are a chosen one to defeat some great evil which somehow ends up making them the king of a kingdom, seeing an alarmingly common pattern in history. The book slowly becomes convinced that this happens because of a world-spanning conspiracy to keep the technology of the world stagnant and unchanging.

[Lentrax]

885. ReBalance Written by an unknown author, the book speaks of several divine decrees referred to as "Errata." Worse yet, this clearly delusional man speaks of huge cataclysmic events in history he calls, "Edition Changes." The Gods, he surmised, have been playing dice with the Mutiverse for ages, treating their lives as one "Terrible game after another."

[khadgar567]

886. tome of xXx: velvet tome withquality magical lock stored in warded glass case rigged with disinrate runes no one knows what it contains ( tome is basicly book of erotic fantasy nyphology and complete temptress in singe book)

[Lord Torath]

Now updated through 886.

[~Corvus~]

886. tome of xXx: velvet tome withquality magical lock stored in warded glass case rigged with disinrate runes no one knows what it contains ( tome is basicly book of erotic fantasy nyphology and complete temptress in singe book)

It should totally be Fire..cause VinDiesel...

[Beleriphon]

It should totally be Fire..cause VinDiesel...

You know that was my first thought as well. That was a such a stupid movie.

[Bohandas]

887.) Malleus Sacerdotum

[The Second]

888: How To Drain Your Flagon, by Borst Irongut
889: The illustrated guide to magical diseases, Vol 5, Grueling Goiters - Malignant Mastication.
890: The Manticore, The Hedgemage, And The Armoire, by Penny Farthing
891: One Orc Two Orc Red Orc Blue Orc, an Orcish primer by Dr. Zoosh
892: Following The Yellow Brick Road; A Travelogue, by Dorothy Gale
893: Colossal Cockroaches, Cheap Guardians or Mutant Menace?
894: Hastur Hastur Hastur! Summoning Old Gods For Fun And Profit
895: How Cthulhu Stole The Solstice, by Roald Oats
896: Folding At Home; Tesseracts Made Easy
897: You're A Wizard Larry! What to expect from your first year at mage academy
898: Enchanters Illustrated - Swimsuit Edition
899: Cockatrice Soup For The Souless; Inspirational Passages For the Necromacer in All Of Us
900: WYSIWYG, A Beginner's Guide To Polymorph And Other Transmutation

[JAL_1138]

901: The Gospel of St. Fred of the Cardigan--the biography and collected poems, songs, sermons, speeches, parables, and other teachings of a legendary figure venerated as the patron saint of children by most of the major Good-aligned religions in the multiverse.

[Bohandas]

902.) Catalogue of Inconsequential Stars

[Bohandas]

903.) Long Winded Speeches for Every Occasi9n

904.) Limitations of Memorization and Recall in Creatures of Elemental Water

[Lord Torath]

Great! I've got the second post now updated to Title 904. Only 96 more to reach 1000!

(Oh, and Bohandas, I assume that's supposed to be "Occasion", and not "Occasi9n"?)

[Lentrax]

905. Wishing For More Wishes and Other Logical Fallacies by Jenny Ovda Bottle.

[Segev]

906. Memoirs of a Newborn Aboleth

[Bohandas]

(Oh, and Bohandas, I assume that's supposed to be "Occasion", and not "Occasi9n"?)

Yes, that's a typo

[Bohandas]

(Oh, and Bohandas, I assume that's supposed to be "Occasion", and not "Occasi9n"?)

Yes, that's a typo

[Bohandas]

907.) Enema Elish [sic]

908.) The Vampire's Guide to Wines

909.) Cooking With the Weird Sisters

910.) untitled journal of a bullywug's experiences working double shifts at an icecream parlor for a month (see if you can guess the obscure, humorously misinterpreted shakespeare reference)

[Beleriphon]

911. A Brief History of Thyme - a cookbook and ritual book with commentary featuring the titular spice
912. A Brief History of Rime - a book about magical ice, and its effects
913. A Brief History of Rhyme - a history of bardic magic
914. A Brief History of Slime - a book about summoning and controlling oozes
915. A Brief History of Grime - a book about magical cleaning techniques