What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

[LordCdrMilitant]

916 - Papers and Paychecks - Player's Handbook
917 - Papers and Paychecks - Supervisor's Guide
918 - Papers and Paychecks - Coworker Compendium 1
919 - Papers and Paychecks - Coworker Compendium 2
920 - Papers and Paychecks - Coworker Compendium 3

[Jay R]

921. Instructions for the Creation of Golden Snitches, Bludgers, and Quaffles.

[JAL_1138]

922: Violins and Bows: A Bard's Primer on Archery. A treatise on archery co-written by several members of the College of Valor. Includes lessons on useful spells, tactics, rapid-reloading techniques for crossbows, close-quarters combat, targeting weak points in opponents' defenses, and long-range accuracy. And at least one horrible pun.

[LordCdrMilitant]

923 - Army Book [Owner's Race/Faction]

On the above, when players in my DH games inspect bookshelves, they inevitably can find a copy of the owner's codex on a failed roll. The Deathwatch have Codex: Deathwatch amidst their ship's library, and the Ordo Malleus Inquisitor Lord has a copy of Codex: Daemonhunters and Codex: Grey Knights [and inevitably her collection of the associated miniatures somewhere]. It's good for a laugh once or twice, as long as nobody thinks about it too much.

[Jay R]

924. A spellbook -- of Cantrips.

[Segev]

925. A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Celestial numeral 1 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It contains 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, wreathed in warnings both cryptic and overt.
926. A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Draconic numeral 2 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It contains 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, with helpful margin-notes from a friendly Outsider.
927. A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Fiendish numeral 3 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It contains 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, but the book is empty past that entry, which is only half-way through it.

[khadgar567]

925. A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Celestial numeral 1 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It contains 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, wreathed in warnings both cryptic and overt.
926. A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Draconic numeral 2 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It contains 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, with helpful margin-notes from a friendly Outsider.
927. A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Fiendish numeral 3 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It contains 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, but the book is empty past that entry, which is only half-way through it.

macguffin alert.

[noob]

The surprise is that each of them belongs to a different mag guffin collection and that getting those three books do nothing.

[JAL_1138]

928: Hollow Victory, by Baron Ignatius Ironhand. The autobiographical, existential lament of a once-zealous conquerer who ultimately found no fulfillment or meaning in his military triumphs or in lordship, and came to regret the senseless bloodshed. The Baron left the original manuscript for this book behind when he suddenly abdicated his throne and vanished from the pages of history, presumably dying in obscurity. The book purportedly holds clues to the location of the enchanted mace the Baron once wielded. Rumors of treasure aside, the book does contain useful firsthand accounts of both employing and countering wizards, clerics, and alchemists in large-unit tactics and logistical capacities.

[LokiRagnarok]

macguffin alert.

It's a Gravity Falls reference.

[Lord Torath]

Ah. So my youngest daughter would definitely get it.

Segev, that last volume is kind of oddly worded. How about this instead:
0927: A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Fiendish numeral 3 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It claims to contain 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, but the book ends halfway through the description, leaving the last half of the book blank (only contains 1/6th of the ritual).

[Segev]

Ah. So my youngest daughter would definitely get it.

Segev, that last volume is kind of oddly worded. How about this instead:
0927: A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Fiendish numeral 3 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It claims to contain 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, but the book ends halfway through the description, leaving the last half of the book blank (only contains 1/6th of the ritual).

If you like, but the way I was framing it, it had the full 1/3 of the ritual. Between the three books, the ritual (if they're for the same ritual, after all) is doable. And after that third book's part-of-a-ritual is written, the book was apparently never written in again.

[Lord Torath]

Okay. I misunderstood, then. I'll fix it. How about this:
927: A journal written in cipher and hidden inks with the Fiendish numeral 3 on the cover, inscribed in the palm of a six-fingered hand. It contains 1/3 of a ritual for an unknown purpose, but after detailing the ritual, the journal ends, leaving half the book blank.

[Segev]

That works!

[Lentrax]

929: I Seem to Be Having Tremdous Difficulty With My Lifestyle: Twenty-Eight Times a Poorly Translated Turn of Phrase Has Started Yet Another War

[Segev]

930: Literally Die Laughing: A Lichdom Procedure Involving Ritual Comedy

[JAL_1138]

929: I Seem to Be Having Tremdous Difficulty With My Lifestyle: Twenty-Eight Times a Poorly Translated Turn of Phrase Has Started Yet Another War

931: Terrible Miscalculations of Scale—how mighty armies have fallen due to failure to research the relative size of local life-forms before invading

[MrNobody]

931: Terrible Miscalculations of Scale—how mighty armies have fallen due to failure to research the relative size of local life-forms before invading

932: We must build.... what?!?!? Mundane and magical fortifications against Colossal besiegers

[LordCdrMilitant]

From other peoples' Dwarf Fortress games [I tend to have FUN before my dorfs write any books]:

933 - A Beginner's Guide to Breathing
934 - Mastering Breathing
935 - Breathing, My Only Mistake

936 - Errors in Combustion

937 - Annihilation for Everyone!

938 - Quihu Murderyell: A Brief History: A 18 page essay concerning the human necromancer Quihu Murderyell, authored by Quihu Murderyell
939 - Better Book: A 45 page guide authored by Quihu Murderyell, concerning the essay Quihu Murderyell: A Brief History.

940 - Can the Hills Save the World?

941 - Books: Fact or Fiction?

942 - Sleep, Abridged, for the Beginning Practitioner

943 - An Offering to Pulleys
944 - A Wizard's Guide to Pulleys
945 - The Lever and Other Travesties

[Segev]

946 - Overcoming That Dreadful Oxygen Addiction by the Elemental Heir

[Bohandas]

947.) Anatomical Similarities of the Beholder and Potato

[Lord Torath]

948. Beholder War Anatomy: An Examination of the Minuscule Anatomical Differences Distinguishing the Five Beholder Clans (and how it could save your life!)

[Lentrax]

949. Like, he's right behind you! The Importance of Comedy Relief In Any Adventuring Party.

[Rizban]

950. Fifty Hues of Gray: The Importance of Color Choice for Races with Darkvision

[LokiRagnarok]

951: (unnamed tablet)
This is not a book per se, but rather a stone tablet containing the same inscription in three different languages. The inscription seems to be a recipe for a cake, containing, among other things, measurement units you have never heard of. One of the "translations" has instructions clearly scaled for creatures of a different size category (eg tablespoons instead of gallons, etc).

952: The Lost Evangelium
This books retells a widely known religious text from a different perspective and appears to date at the same time as the earliest known source, if not predate it outright. While it reveals nothing new, content-wise, it would surely be of great interest to a scholar.

[khadgar567]

953. Shifters cook book : guide to tastier fights

[Bohandas]

954.) The Vampire's Guide to Seduction
955.) Fey, Dragons, and Transformational Curses

[khadgar567]

954.) The Vampire's Guide to Seduction

I like to read this one.

[Bohandas]

956.) The Gospel According to Minsc
957.) The Gospel According to Jan Jansen
958.) The Acts of the Bhaalspawn
959.) The Revelation of Jon Irenicus

[Lord Torath]

0960: Displacer Beast and Cockatrice: The Benefits and Drawbacks of Monstrous Guard Animals

Just 41 more to go to reach 1001!