Baby GM's Game Session/Campaign (Is The Plot Too Rail Roady?)

[GMProtagonist]

Hello, I'm beginning Pathfinder for the first time and as the writer and general story teller of my friends, I was nominated to be the GM. I've spent nearly a week polishing and writing NPCs and constructing a story that my players can get invested in while having the freedom to do as they please, but I fear it's too linear or even too cookie cutter.

The basic story line is that the party is convinced by an innkeeper to take on her quest. Her wife was an adventurer but while she was visiting the tomb of a noble man, the vault apparently caved in and crushed her to death. The adventurer's daughter has been traumatized by this event and the innkeeper thinks that if she could recover some of the wife's belongings, it could help her step daughter grieve properly. She also has her suspicions about the circumstances of the accident and asks the party to investigate.

However, when the party gets to the dungeon, they find there is a secret entrance behind the cave in and that the tomb inside is completely in tact. It turns out the that noble had faked his death and is now plotting a revenge fueled campaign against those who have wronged him, starting with the adventurer, who had left him, took their daughter with her, and married the innkeeper instead.

That's the basic premise and if anyone could tell me how this could be improved any advice would be welcome!

[Airk]

Hello, I'm beginning Pathfinder for the first time and as the writer and general story teller of my friends, I was nominated to be the GM. I've spent nearly a week polishing and writing NPCs and constructing a story that my players can get invested in while having the freedom to do as they please, but I fear it's too linear or even too cookie cutter.

Well, let's see...

The basic story line is that the party is convinced by an innkeeper to take on her quest.

Why are they taking on this quest? You need to address this either by A) Starting the game with the quest already accepted (No "You meet in a tavern" BS) or B) by providing a compelling reason for these characters to take on this quest.

However, when the party gets to the dungeon, they find there is a secret entrance behind the cave in and that the tomb inside is completely in tact. It turns out the that noble had faked his death and is now plotting a revenge fueled campaign against those who have wronged him, starting with the adventurer, who had left him, took their daughter with her, and married the innkeeper instead.

How are the PCs going to find out all that from an empty vault? At this point, I'm more worried about this game stalling entirely than about it turning into a railroad. Are you prepared to keep the PCs entertained if they don't have any good ideas about what to do next here?

Otherwise, if this is all you have planned, that's fine. At this point, there are a LOT of options open to the PCs. You need to be careful that they don't pick "Well, we don't really care, we'll tell the innkeeper what's going on and head off to find a new job." - which ties back finding some way to motivate them. Maybe this innkeeper is a friend or family member? Or... why do the PCs care? Innkeeps aren't know for their vast cash reserves to pay wandering murderhobos...

[GMProtagonist]

Oh thank gods I found someone willing to tell it to me straight. Now that I think about it, I need a valid reasons for the characters to take the quest, otherwise I risk just flat out saying to the players "look, this is your plot hook. Take it or else we don't have anything to do tonight."

Do you have any ideas on how to fix these issues? I'm not sure if making the innkeeper a relative of a PC would work, it might come off as forced and the player might not like it.

EDIT: Oh! Perhaps the reward is free roam and board at the inn!

[Honest Tiefling]

Oh thank gods I found someone willing to tell it to me straight. Now that I think about it, I need a valid reasons for the characters to take the quest, otherwise I risk just flat out saying to the players "look, this is your plot hook. Take it or else we don't have anything to do tonight."!

You are playing and DMing a game for the first time. I think you should phrase it differently, but if they cannot accept this, you've got an uphill battle ahead of you. Instead, perhaps say:

"Hey guys, I'm really new to this whole DMing thing. I'd really appreciate if for the first game, I describe a scenario and we work together to get your characters invested in it. I know it may not be ideal for everyone, but I need some help getting used to DMing."

And then work everyone in. Make them relatives of the noble or innkeeper, or have them owe the character money. Maybe their order is tasked with preserving that tomb. I wouldn't MAKE a player take a plot hook (such as being related), but I think you should offer plenty of choices. Consider bending the story in minor ways to accommodate them, such as having PCs even be the relative of the noble.

[Airk]

Honest Tiefling has some good ideas (Free room and board, unless it's literally forever, and even then probably not) isn't a very compelling prize, since in D&D room and board for four people is like 0.05% of a character's starting cash or something. What motives a character depends heavily on the character though. Are these folks operating in a vacuum? (They probably are, since it's your first time playing.) Ask the players what motivates their characters.

[GMProtagonist]

Thank you both! This really helped with dealing with some of the more troubling questions I had about my game, hopefully all goes well and the revised version of the plot will be playable at the very least.

[Knaight]

The thing about first session plots is that you can ask for characters that will fit them. So, during character generation specify that you need characters who will be willing to explore a noble's tomb for an inn keeper, and run it from there.

[Demidos]

Knaight basically said it, but to put it slightly more explicitly, ask them to work the reason they're taking the job into their backstories. That makes everyone happy.