Classes (and Sub-classes) as food.

[JumboWheat01]

It got touched upon a bit in the Stay Classy, 5e! thread, and some tasty interesting points were made.

So far, we have (from the same thread:)

Barbarian - Steak (seasonings can change the flavor)
Cleric - Salad (good for you, can do whatever you want to it and still call it a salad)
Ranger - Soup Stock (good start, but needs flavoring)
Wizard - Pizza (Can do so much to it and still call it a pizza, which makes it awesome)

There are still more classes out there, so what do you think they are as food? And if a certain sub-class is something completely different from the rest, say so! UA's and splats allowed, personal homebrew is out the window. I run an orderly kitchen here.

[Submortimer]

Fighter: Hamburger (Not too many components, pretty hard to mess up, almost always tasty)

Sorcerer: Calzone (Like a pizza, wrapped into a tighter package, and has some different sauces you can dip it in)

Warlock: Potato Chips (lots of different flavors, Still mostly does only one thing really well, goes well with several other foods)

Rogue: Buffalo Wings (satifying, Hits hard, makes for an excellent dip)

Druid: Shephard's Pie (filling, mixes several tasty elements together, easy to make)

Monk: Sushi (Really good if you get the right stuff, pretty awful if you get the WRONG stuff)

Paladin: Beer (several different flavors, the right ones hit really hard, even the bad ones are still pretty good)

[MrFahrenheit]

It got touched upon a bit in the Stay Classy, 5e! thread, and some tasty interesting points were made.

So far, we have (from the same thread:)

Barbarian - Steak (seasonings can change the flavor)
Cleric - Salad (good for you, can do whatever you want to it and still call it a salad)
Ranger - Soup Stock (good start, but needs flavoring)
Wizard - Pizza (Can do so much to it and still call it a pizza, which makes it awesome)

There are still more classes out there, so what do you think they are as food? And if a certain sub-class is something completely different from the rest, say so! UA's and splats allowed, personal homebrew is out the window. I run an orderly kitchen here.

I'm pretty sure clerics were the original steak, rogues were soup (undefined), and Rangers were hotdogs...

[Arkhios]

Paladin: Beer (several different flavors, the right ones hit really hard, even the bad ones are still pretty good)

Haha! Couldn't agree more! ...no wonder I love Paladins, nothing beats a good finely brewed beer!

[Tarvil]

Wizard - Pizza (Even ****ty one is still quite good)

[Easy_Lee]

Monks are a bit like kale, but could also be compared to foreign sweets. Wizards are more of a wine clearly, or possibly potatoes. Fighters are pretty clearly the salt and pepper. Or maybe rogues are salt and pepper, one could argue. And I don't think anyone will disagree that rangers are a bit like brussel sprouts.

What am I doing with my life?

[hymer]

I think druids are rather like cheese. It works on its own, tasty and good nutrition, but go particularly well with other stuff; hot, cold, spicy, sweet, bland, rich, there's a cheese for just about anything. And cheese comes in a dazzling range of possibilities, from the most subtle and luxurious to vulgar and spray-on. Anyone can use it, and their food will be better for it, but using it well (and especially making it well) is an art and a science.

[Socratov]

I think Bards are like minced meat: you can make patties from 'em, make a shepherd's Pie, you can even make chili.

Paladins always give me an intense feeling. Haven't played them myself, but in the party they always have an intense pressure, so I'd compare them to Vindaloo. Where the divine pally is butter chicken, and the Vengeance paladin is downright vindaloo.

Warlocks are like stir fry: short, spicy, sometimes sweet, but always digested quickly and whipped up in mere minutes.

Barbarian, any way you see it is a wholly roasted animal on a spit. No doubt about it.

I see fighters as sashimi: focused on technique, lots of bits and bobs, but ultimately crafted through technique. Also, they are either very much your style, or not at all.

Ranger is like most sea fish: Fine on its own, but whatever you add to it, it's not so easy to improve the dish or you risk destroying a careful balance. That said, some people have decided that rotting it might be best by adding an animal companion.

Rogues are tapas. Don't ask me why, but they come in a lot of variations and options, and one is not really better then the other. Though at the end of the day it's just that: a collection of bites.

Monks I think are like sushi: simple: quick bites, but unless you have a lot of it, not a meal.

Wizards are like potatoes. boiled, roasted, fried, deep fried, mashed, baked, starched, worked into gnocchi, you name it. So very useful and able to combine with pretty much just about anything. They are also filling and nourishing

Sorcerers are like pizza: they will all be pizza's, and some choice of ingredients (spells) are gonna make a better pizza, but ultimately it will be a pizza.

Druids are whatever you get when the DM gets back with foraging roots and hunting game. It can be anything from something exquisite (low level moon druid with bear form), to something like a bowl of berries (moon druid without the better forms and no new forms until he shows them to you and after you made 4 nature checks in addition to praying to the full moon 5 times).

If wizards are potatoes, Clerics are pasta, Very diverse, extremely useful, but not all combinations work and sometimes you need that extra bit of other class to finish the meal.

Incidentally, Feats are like a nice accompanying wine. They, ironically, make everything classier and more interesting.

[GlenSmash!]

Fighter: Hamburger (Not too many components, pretty hard to mess up, almost always tasty)

Sorcerer: Calzone (Like a pizza, wrapped into a tighter package, and has some different sauces you can dip it in)

Warlock: Potato Chips (lots of different flavors, Still mostly does only one thing really well, goes well with several other foods)

Rogue: Buffalo Wings (satifying, Hits hard, makes for an excellent dip)

Druid: Shephard's Pie (filling, mixes several tasty elements together, easy to make)

Monk: Sushi (Really good if you get the right stuff, pretty awful if you get the WRONG stuff)

Paladin: Beer (several different flavors, the right ones hit really hard, even the bad ones are still pretty good)

Nailed it. Couldn't say it better myself.

[JumboWheat01]

Doing a bit of thinking on it myself, I've come to the conclusion that bards are like chicken. Everything tastes like chicken, and bards can do a little bit of everything. Plus you can cook 'em up just a bit differently and get a different flavor, but it's still always chicken.

[JakOfAllTirades]

I think of Warlocks in terms of Italian food:

Fey Pact: Angel Hair pasta in wine sauce.

Fiend Pact: Fettuccine noodles in a spicy red sauce.

Great Old Ones: Rotini pasta in white sauce.

And add a meat for the Pact Boon:

Tome Pact: Chicken (goes with everything)

Blade Pact: Beef (goes best with Fiend pact)

Chain Pact: Seafood (cuz Great Old Ones love them some Calamari, am I right?)

And of course there's the 2-level Warlock dip, which is basically Mac & Cheese from the kiddie menu.

[Blue Lantern]

Sorcerers are like Carbonara, try all you want there are only a couple of ways to make them good.

[Rhaegar14]

I love everything about this thread.

[Black Socks]

Bards are bread. Goes with absolutely everything, and can do a lot of different things when you add the right stuff to it.

Wizards are pizza: Lots of ways to customize it, but it's still a pizza.

Fighters are sandwiches.... been around forever, incredibly diverse, but all the same in some ways.

Barbarians are THE FLESH OF YOUR FOES, ROASTED OVER THE BURNING WRECKAGE OF THEIR VILLAGE!!!!

[Osrogue]

Fighters are sandwiches. They require little preptime, and can contain many different ingredients and flavors, and is really hard to mess up. No matter how fancy or simple, its all held together by the pieces of bread that are the base class.

I definitely agree that clerics are salads. They can be filling enough to be a meal by themselves, and there are so many different types of salads, but usually do better as a side than as a meal.