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  1. - Top - End - #661
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroGear View Post
    DM: You immediately spot the area's boss sitting on a throne in front of you.
    Beast Boss: "Ah, I've been expecting you. Though, I had figured you'd be here sooner. It matters not though, as my lovely pets shall enjoy making a meal out of you lot! Isn't that right mr. Fluffles?"
    Serrah: Uh, who's mr. Fluffles?
    DM: The white rabbit that's sitting on his lap.
    Davis: *Screams in terror and leaps into Linsey's arms*
    *beat*
    Prof. Mason: "Oh, I had forgotten about Davis's overwhelming fear of rabbits."
    Joey: "The big buff bodyguard that flexed his way out of trouble is scared of tiny fluffy rabbits?"
    Spoiler: Rabbits can be quite dangerous...
    Show


    Sheogorth: "Don't knock or anything. No, just lightly molest my door and walk in, why don't you?"

  2. - Top - End - #662
    Orc in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    I'm back with more quotes from the most recent session. We're playing CoS, and our party cleric's player tends to jump straight to Hitler comparisons.

    Fiona Watcher: ...And I have dealt with the zombie menace...
    Cleric's Player: Just like Hitler!!!
    DM: Hitler fought zombies?
    Warlock's Player: Actually, that was Mussolini.

    Later in the speech:

    Fiona Watcher: ...I feel that it would be best if we ally ourselves with Strahd...
    Cleric's Player: Just like... STALIN!! You thought I would say Hitler, didn't you?
    Warlock's Player: Which vampire did Stalin ally with, exactly?
    Cleric's Player: Hitler?? No, wait...

  3. - Top - End - #663
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Spoiler: Responses
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroGear View Post
    Serrah: Isn't she also wearing power gloves?
    Oww.... >.<;


    Quote Originally Posted by weckar View Post
    "Wandering through the city you see in the distance the same stone giant man; except now he's made of ice, has two extra arms, two fewer legs and is probably much bigger. Frankly, I don't think your characters would realize it's the same guy so forget I said that."
    Okay, guess the GM had a moment. :3



    Viridia: “Lesbian Magic Babies quest perk plz.”

    Moonshadow: “I thought that the diamonds were group fund and the coins were split among everyone? If not, then can I delete my last post?”
    Viridia: “I dunno, I'm not your mom.”

    Moon: “So my post doesn't really make sense and has been deleted!”
    Doc: “Deleted!”

    Stellar: “Sorry I got kinda held up. Strawberry got her leg caught in some guttering. You would not believe the trouble I had getting her unstuck.”
    Doc: “I suppose amputation was out of the question? No, that's probably my shtick.”

    Stellar: “So the wizard is eccentric. Stellar quietly files her under 'weird, but useful'.”

    GM: “A necromancer holed up in a government facility who's really just interested in everyone's accent just doesn't sound right.”
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  4. - Top - End - #664
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Spoiler: Responses
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    Quote Originally Posted by Squiddish View Post
    Warlock's Player: Which vampire did Stalin ally with, exactly?
    Churchill?
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Viridia: “Lesbian Magic Babies quest perk plz.”
    What.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Stellar: “So the wizard is eccentric. Stellar quietly files her under 'weird, but useful'.”
    I think pretty much every PC could be reasonably filed under this.


    DM: "So over here we have The Mario Brothers (except dragons who were dropped on their heads as newborns), and over there we got Larry, Moe and Curly with ADHD.

  5. - Top - End - #665
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Post Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Hello, everyone. I've got quite a bit for you today:
    Spoiler: Well, we've got quite a lengthy bit of quotes today, don't we?
    Show

    DM: This time? You're dead.
    The (Demon-bomb thing.) explodes, tossing you off the cliff.
    Me: I use my bedroll as a cushion for the impact, slowing my -hp rate for the search party to find me.
    DM: Fine, roll for discov-
    Me: Actually, my warg mount went with them, and is probably able to smell the explosives, and is likely to have heard the explosion.
    DM:...Fine. Not dead. Fine.
    Our GM really didn't like my "Intelligent do-gooder" tidbit.
    DM: Alright, (Ranger) just tricked the Adamantite golem into falling into the courtyard.
    Well,(Paladin, I-e me), where are you, exactly? (In far too smug a tone.)
    Me:...In the courtyard.
    DM: Alright, I suppose that's that, pick up a new character sheet, noble sacrifice and all-
    Me:Which part of him landed on me? If it were his arm, I would certainly have more of a
    chance than if it were his torso, I imagine.

    DM:..Fine. Roll to see if it's his arm, or hand, or even toe! But Nothing but a nat 20 passes, though. .
    Me: {Proceeds to roll nat 20}
    DM: For the LOVE OF-
    I'd rather not finish that. The D.M. was of the "Kill every character" mindset.
    DM: You've been hit by a colossal gnomish locomotive.
    Me: I roll to remain at 1hp. I can still heal myself,
    and wouldn't it be an instinctive reaction to pain at this point?
    DM: ...Fine. 1hp. One round, and you're dead, however. Now-
    Me: I attempt to throw my shield onto the tracks in front of me,
    effectively acting as a colossal penny, potentially derailing the locomotive.
    DM: You've been hit, I say it again, by a Locomotive. With a 70-feet-per-round movement rate, I might add.
    Ranger: Why does it have a movement rate?
    DM:...I'm very thorough.

    Me: Isn't there any appeal?
    Druid:I don't care who lives or dies, I just want to see a literal trainwreck! take THAT, civilization!
    Theif: I'm rooting for him on this one. When would we next get a chance to loot a freaking train?
    Besides, this guy threw a gnome! And it worked!
    Warlock(OoC): I think my char would be a touch upset at losing the moral compass, here. Just a thought.
    Dm: Alright, alright! The train roll's off of the side of the bridge, into the gorge, just like you asked.
    With the paladin up front.

    {DM pulls me aside.}
    Me:(Ooc) So what happens now, then.
    DM:Look, You've helped (Everyone else) have fun, alright?
    For that,I'll cut you a deal. Your character is about to die. But there are still...options.
    Me: Options? What sort of options, exactly? And how? What would cause it, whatever it is?
    DM: Well, there were a LOT of cultists on that train. So...
    {And that's how I became a Graveknight good-guy.}
    Well, he wasn't the best D.M, but he tried.I left, but it's still the same char.
    A bit long, but I haven't got much to draw on.
    Thanks for reading this, and I hope you have a better day!
    Last edited by IntelectPaladin; 2016-10-03 at 01:08 AM.

  6. - Top - End - #666
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Viridia: “Lesbian Magic Babies quest perk plz.”
    Considering how friendship is literally magic, one would think love creating new ponies out of (almost) nothing is something that everypony can do, no quest perk required.
    Last edited by goto124; 2016-10-03 at 01:50 AM.

  7. - Top - End - #667
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    From yesterday's session:

    GM: Well, you all leave and go to the library district in search for the next Hierophant.
    Prince Valerion: Wait, we are leaving Gaster without supervision? Well, I guess nobody can steal our zeppelin if we no longer have one...

    GM: The bug creature fires what seems like an orb of acid towards you.
    First Mate Dunkel: I dodge.
    Prince Valerion: I dodge.
    Pilot Cain: I dodge.
    Captain Jack: I cut it in half with my katana!
    GM: For a second there, I was surprised that everyone was doing the sensible thing.

    Prince Valerion: I am sorry, but I must leave. If you need me later, come and seek me, but for now I must go.
    Captain Jack: No one leaves the crew. If you want to leave you'll have to fight. And I will not have mercy on you.
    Three rounds later.
    Captain Jack: I surrender!

    Spoiler: Heretical context on the duel
    Show
    Valerion was made thinking that someone else would take the mantle of tech guy, but nobody did, so the GM and I decided it would be best to retire him and make another character after the end of the current story arc. Jack didn't like it, and after 3 rounds of trying to kill me using everythin he got, he knew that on the 4th round I would kill him.

    Lesson learnt: Never duel a man that becomes unkillable on the 3rd round of combat if you can't kill him before that.

  8. - Top - End - #668
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Spoiler: Responses!
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrazyPenguin View Post
    What.
    It's Viridia's shtick. I don't question it anymore.


    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Considering how friendship is literally magic, one would think love creating new ponies out of (almost) nothing is something that everypony can do, no quest perk required.
    Probably, but why skip out on the fun parts of that quest?


    Quote Originally Posted by IntelectPaladin View Post
    DM:..Fine. Roll to see if it's his arm, or hand, or even toe! But Nothing but a nat 20 passes, though. .
    Me: {Proceeds to roll nat 20}
    The DM really set himself up, and the die totally obliged. XD


    Quote Originally Posted by Khaiel View Post
    Captain Jack: I cut it in half with my katana!
    But... acid...?



    Strata: (looks at Stellar’s cutie mark) “Okay, I'm going to guess that you are a… time-displaced grad student?”
    Doc: “Action Scientist.”
    Viridia: “Blue Bombshell.”

    Viridia: “Yes, Viridia borrows slang from 40s, you gonna flip your wig?”
    GM: “It's better than her saying 'totally radical' or something along those lines, so I have no objections.”
    Viridia: “Dude, I just swiped this copy of Bloodstrife and it's dope, dawg! Booyah!”
    GM: “Eww.”

    Strata: “Speaking of culture, do you know what a garburator is? I'm asking for a friend who taught linguistics… who's probably dead.”
    Choro: “It sounds like a machine for making garbage to me. A garbage generator. Garburator.”
    Stellar: “As a player, I have no idea what that word is. Does Stellar? INT check?”
    Doc: “You're allowed to use Google.”
    Viridia: “Please. Ask Jeeves is where it's at.”
    Doc: “It's just ‘Ask.com’ now, isn't it? I think the butler got laid off.”
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2016-10-03 at 07:14 AM.
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  9. - Top - End - #669
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    The party always has its moments.

    DM: After quietly spiderclimbing halfway up the tower, you see a window.
    Overly Endowed Halfling Warlock: I look inside.
    Super Stealth Elf Assassin: What do you see?
    OEHW: Let's see, there's a bed, a desk with a bunch of papers and books-
    Book Obsessed Dwarf Paladin: Which books?
    DM: So are you guys actually having this conversation?

    ...

    DM: Several heads peer over the side of the tower, looking down.
    OEHW: I press up against the side of the tower and hope they don't see me. *rolls stealth: 8*
    DM: Well, you do tend to stick out a bit... *rolls perception: 4* ...but apparently your boobs fit perfectly into the window space.

    ...

    SSEA: So these harpies, how do they look, on a scale of 1 to 10?
    DM: About a -2.
    SSEA: *contemplates* ...nah.


    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Doc: “Action Scientist.”
    Truly no greater calling. Except maybe Academically(Accidentally?) Credentialed Theropod.
    Why yes, Warlock is my solution for everything.

    Quote Originally Posted by obryn View Post
    Active Abilities are great because you - the player - are demonstrating your Dwarvenness or Elfishness. You're not passively a dwarf, you're actively dwarfing your way through obstacles.

  10. - Top - End - #670
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    DM: "I said 'moan seductively,' not 'have a ****ing seizure.'"

    Sheogorath: *violently and repeatedly slaps DM on the shoulder*
    Harukai: "Dude, he's vaping you."
    DM: "I feel... violated."
    Harukai: "Good. You should."

    DM: "Quick, put the mayonnaise away! [Sheogorath]'s coming.
    Harukai: "Wha-"
    DM: "He's not allowed to be near mayonnaise! Now quit j***ing on your sandwhich and put the mayonnaise away!"

  11. - Top - End - #671
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    But... acid...?
    It is as stupid as it sounds. Jack is kinda special...

  12. - Top - End - #672
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by IntelectPaladin View Post
    DM: You've been hit, I say it again, by a Locomotive. With a 70-feet-per-round movement rate, I might add.
    Ranger: Why does it have a movement rate?
    DM:...I'm very thorough.
    ...Not really that thorough, if he thinks getting hit at 8 miles per hour is an instant kill, even if it's by a train.

    Also? Why is there a train only moving at 8 miles per hour?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    But... acid...?
    Honestly, some D&D builds have been able to parry lightning with their swords. I'm not even surprised here.
    Last edited by Fable Wright; 2016-10-03 at 02:26 PM.
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  13. - Top - End - #673
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fable Wright View Post
    ...Not really that thorough, if he thinks getting hit at 8 miles per hour is an instant kill, even if it's by a train.
    Hilarious answer using GURPS:
    Assuming a 5,000 ton train, at 8 mph it would deal approximately 129d6 damage.


    Quote Originally Posted by Fable Wright View Post
    Also? Why is there a train only moving at 8 miles per hour?
    There are train speed limits that slow at certain railroad crossings here.

    That or they like to annoy motorists.


    Quote Originally Posted by Joe the Rat View Post
    Truly no greater calling. Except maybe Academically(Accidentally?) Credentialed Theropod.
    BEHOLD! An ordinary roleplayer!
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  14. - Top - End - #674
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fable Wright View Post
    Honestly, some D&D builds have been able to parry lightning with their swords. I'm not even surprised here.
    This is Anima Beyond Fantasy. With Aura Extension (Which you can get at level 1 if you are a Technician, or level 2-3 if you are any other martial class) you can parry things like fire, lightning and pure supernatural energy, as well as touch ghosts and other immaterial beings. However this was specially stupid, as it was very clearly an explosive mine fluffed as an acid orb. And Explosive Mines are not fun for whoever is near them. Even more so if you are less than a meter away.

    As I said, Jack is not the smartest pirate captain out there.

  15. - Top - End - #675
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Khaiel View Post
    And Explosive Mines are not fun for whoever is near them. Even more so if you are less than a meter away.

    As I said, Jack is not the smartest pirate captain out there.
    Don't worry, he can just parry the blast wave!
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  16. - Top - End - #676
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Thumbs up Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Hilarious answer using GURPS:
    Assuming a 5,000 ton train, at 8 mph it would deal approximately 129d6 damage.
    That explains the DM's near coronary, then. And technically speaking, I didn't survive, per se.
    I was forcibly transformed into a graveknight. Thankfully, that D.M. quit.
    And come to think of it, it WAS a crossing we were at, with tiny gnomish cars.

    And now, thread-relevant quotes!
    Me: "I'll now do a dramatic pose, leaping grandly into the air, attacking the wraith with my armor gleaming!
    And I roll...{nat 1}. Oh."
    DM: Tch. Alright, mr album cover, you take 18 cursed damage. "
    Me"...Fudge."
    Yes, I actually said "Fudge." I don't cuss. It just feels off.
    Me: "You know what, fudge dramatics. They don't help anyone.
    I jump up to reach the ceiling, and attack the wraith to keep it off of (Thief.)"
    DM: "Alright, and your damage is...{Nat 20.} The wraith dissipates mid-air,
    and I need an aspirin."
    Moral of the story? Being dramatic doesn't work for me. Ever.
    Thank you for reading this, and I hope you have a better day!
    Last edited by IntelectPaladin; 2016-10-03 at 06:21 PM.

  17. - Top - End - #677
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Burning Sunset: "I'm gonna eat the demon!"
    Rouser of Souls: "Don't eat the demon."
    Burning Sunset: "I'm gonna eat the demon!"
    Rouser of Souls: "But it could have horrific and irrevocable consequences."
    Burning Sunset: "But we won't know until we try. And so, I'm gonna eat the demon. FOR SCIENCE!"

  18. - Top - End - #678
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Probably, but why skip out on the fun parts of that quest?


    Was thinking more of skipping out on the messy 9 (?) months after the fun parts. Yikes.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Stellar: “As a player, I have no idea what that word is. Does Stellar? INT check?”
    Doc: “You're allowed to use Google.”
    Viridia: “Please. Ask Jeeves is where it's at.”
    Doc: “It's just ‘Ask.com’ now, isn't it? I think the butler got laid off.”
    I Googled "ask jeeves" just to find out

    Google has been replacing a lot of my INT checks...

    Quote Originally Posted by Joe the Rat View Post
    Overly Endowed Halfling Warlock: I look inside.
    [snip]
    DM: Well, you do tend to stick out a bit... *rolls perception: 4* ...but apparently your boobs fit perfectly into the window space.
    I wonder what the character sheet said.
    Last edited by goto124; 2016-10-04 at 01:33 AM.

  19. - Top - End - #679
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    :Was thinking more of skipping out on the messy 9 (?) months after the fun parts. Yikes.
    Please. Magical Lesbian Babies. That's not magic worth having if they can't spontaneously pop into existence offscreen.
    Yes, I am slightly egomaniac. Why didn't you ask?

    Free haiku !
    Alas, poor Cookie
    The world needs more platypi
    I wish you could be


    Quote Originally Posted by Fyraltari
    Also this isn’t D&D, flaming the troll doesn’t help either.

  20. - Top - End - #680
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

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    Quote Originally Posted by IntelectPaladin View Post
    That explains the DM's near coronary, then. And technically speaking, I didn't survive, per se.
    GURPS is a nice system to adapt mechanics for any genre idea, but it has some funny quirks.

    I'm curious about how you "technically didn't survive per se" that collision. Sounds like physics didn't follow through somewhere. :3


    Quote Originally Posted by CrazyPenguin View Post
    Rouser of Souls: "But it could have horrific and irrevocable consequences."
    Like a bad case of IBS (Infernal Bowel Syndrome)


    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Was thinking more of skipping out on the messy 9 (?) months after the fun parts. Yikes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cazero View Post
    Please. Magical Lesbian Babies. That's not magic worth having if they can't spontaneously pop into existence offscreen.
    My character can get access to an artificial womb. He probably could splice up some DNA and grow magic babies from two subjects.



    GM: “It took about five seconds for Doc to realize that the horse wasn't actually wearing anything at all!”

    GM: “Doc is going to get his cybernetics from a guy who's vocabulary regularly includes the phrase 'hey bro'.”

    Moon: “We harvested some samples from [the taint mutants], in case you were interested in purchasing them.”
    Doc: “Ever the businesspony.”
    Moon: “Moonshadow is all about the money.”
    Doc: “There's something extra-brazen about selling Stitch samples of slain mutant from her own basement.”
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2016-10-04 at 07:44 AM.
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  21. - Top - End - #681
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    biggrin Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post

    GURPS is a nice system to adapt mechanics for any genre idea, but it has some funny quirks.

    I'm curious about how you "technically didn't survive per se" that collision. Sounds like physics didn't follow through somewhere. :3
    As my rather hidden fans could tell you, I leave hidden messages in every post I make.
    Which I had hoped was adequate enough of an explanation.
    I've been using them as a hidden commentary for a long time.
    Spoiler: My reply to Mr. Digo, forum celebrity.
    Show

    In response to your question, I "died" in that trainwreck.
    Which was so full of black lives (I-e cultists), that their life force "seeped into my decrepit form,"
    And thus, a custom Graveknight was born. With ethics, and morals. It was the fun of evil, without the evil.
    For those who don't know what one is: http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/b...aveknight.html

    I hope that answer's your question, Mr. Digo.
    And now, we resume our forum-mandated quotes!
    Are they mandated, or are they just the rules? That's going to bug me all day.
    DM: "As you approach the train {Three days after wrecking it,} you feel unnaturally uneasy.
    The overcast clouds take on a blacker tone, the wind begins to howl, higher pitched than you've ever heard.
    DM: "Lighting strikes not 3 miles away. The cold, dead remains of the locomotive seem enshrouded in inky blackness. The wind hit's a crescendo, sounding as if it were laughing, the locomotive seem's to shift in the distance, the unnatural fear increases, blackness is seeping from the train!
    DM: As everything hits it's critical point, you see! A black, 7-foot armored form, outlined against the sky!
    And as the rising fear nearly overwhelms you at this introduction, a voice booms across the landscape!
    Me: "Hey, guys."
    Our D.M. had a flair for the dramatic, when need be.
    Thank you for reading this, and I hope you have a better day!
    Last edited by IntelectPaladin; 2017-01-12 at 02:19 PM.

  22. - Top - End - #682
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by IntelectPaladin View Post
    For those who don't know what one is: http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/b...aveknight.html

    I hope that answer's your question, Mr. Digo.
    Oooooh, that's the context I was missing. Didn't know a Graveknight was "living impaired" (I haven't truly played Pathfinder).
    Thanks, it's cleared up now.

    (You don't have to call me 'Mr.', I ain't that old yet. ;)
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  23. - Top - End - #683
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    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    (You don't have to call me 'Mr.', I ain't that old yet. ;)
    But old enough to have a daughter!

  24. - Top - End - #684
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I wonder what the character sheet said.
    "Note to self: When someone asks you to "sample" a potion to identify it, say no."
    Hilarity did ensue that day...
    Why yes, Warlock is my solution for everything.

    Quote Originally Posted by obryn View Post
    Active Abilities are great because you - the player - are demonstrating your Dwarvenness or Elfishness. You're not passively a dwarf, you're actively dwarfing your way through obstacles.

  25. - Top - End - #685
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    DM: "I'm just sayin', if I were gonna terrorize the populous, and I was given the choice between an annoying horn and napalm, I'm going with the napalm.
    Sheogorath: "But napalm just doesn't hold the same terror in the public consciousness right now, what with the clowns running amok.
    DM: "Napalm will always be terrifying, by merit of it being f***ing napalm."
    Sheogorath: "But like, people hear the horn honking, there's this dread that hits them that you just don't get with napalm."
    DM: "I'm pretty sure most people will be pretty scared if I point a flamethrower in their face."

  26. - Top - End - #686
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Inevitability's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by CrazyPenguin View Post
    DM: "I'm just sayin', if I were gonna terrorize the populous, and I was given the choice between an annoying horn and napalm, I'm going with the napalm.
    Sheogorath: "But napalm just doesn't hold the same terror in the public consciousness right now, what with the clowns running amok.
    DM: "Napalm will always be terrifying, by merit of it being f***ing napalm."
    Sheogorath: "But like, people hear the horn honking, there's this dread that hits them that you just don't get with napalm."
    DM: "I'm pretty sure most people will be pretty scared if I point a flamethrower in their face."
    A DM who is encouraging his players to resort to flammable death? That's new.
    Creator of the LA-assignment thread.

    Join the new Junkyard Wars round and build with Cloaked Dancer and a companion creature!

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  27. - Top - End - #687
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire_Stirge View Post
    Gumdrop's Dutch?
    As much as a floating squid/jellyfish can be.
    ====

    Gumdrop: It is no wonder your kind are always so grumpy. Walking is extremely stressful.
    ====

    Ray: All I know is that Gumdrop is in the kitchen, and if you value your eyes you will not go in there.
    ====

    Ray: Yeah, but with my plan, we get to catch the bad guy and bring Disco back. Ergo. Best. Plan. Ever.
    GM: That cataclysmic sound you just heard was Ray's alignment shifting.
    ====

    Fashion Statement: Of course I freelance on the side. Those wonderful super-hero gizmos and gadgets don't pay for themselves.
    ====

    Lisa: I feel stupid for even asking this, but... why do you even have access to sixty industrial-strength mirrors?
    Fashion Statement: *perplexed* You don't?
    ====

    Ray: In my defense, never said anything about not making out.

  28. - Top - End - #688
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by D.KnightSpider View Post
    industrial-strength mirrors?
    Google isn't telling me what those things even are, let alone their purpose!
    Last edited by goto124; 2016-10-04 at 08:15 PM.

  29. - Top - End - #689
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    digiman619's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Google isn't telling me what those things even are, let alone their purpose!
    I would assume they are for observatory telescopes.
    Quote Originally Posted by digiman619 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cosi View Post
    In general, this is favorable to the casters.
    3.5 in a nutshell, ladies and gents.
    Avatar by Coronalwave

  30. - Top - End - #690
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

    Not exactly an ingame quote, but at the moment it was kind of hilarious.

    GM: Well, now that Valerion is out, what's your next character?
    Me: I've been thinking about Dr Doctor Zoidberg's death, and I kinda miss him.
    GM: Well, you could always make your next character as his brother or something...
    Me: I've also been watching JoJo lately...
    GM: I don't like where this is going.
    Me: So this is my new character, Joyce Joystar Zoidberg, Zoidberg's daughter, aka JoJo Zoidberg.
    GM: I'm going to try to kill myself. See you next Saturday, I guess.
    Last edited by Khaiel; 2016-10-05 at 04:34 AM.

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