How to deal with a problem DM?

[Shades998]

I got reacquainted with old buddies of mine and we decided to play D&D together. Unfortunately though while our DM can tell a good story and roleplay npcs at an acceptable level he has some problems with creating internal strife between even the most virtuous of players. He tends to go out of his way to incorporate this into his game play and it has been sited that he may ruin the game for at least a couple individuals including myself.

Generally speaking this was a problem in his previous games tens of years ago. No one wanted to even group up and complete quests together because of his manipulative behavior.

I have address my concerns to him already, and he probably won't change his style and the party is more then likely doomed to have to fight with each other more then actually try to be heroic and accomplish anything in our game world. He says it will promote roleplay, but it just seems to have divided our group.

At this point what do you think I should do? Is this even worth trying to salvage or should I just try to find a new DM with a more positive perspective, even though these guys are my friends.

[Arbane]

How exactly is he promoting strife?

With no further info, my dubiously-helpful suggestions.

Plan A: You could all just go full Deathmatch. And when one PC is left standing ask "Well, that was fun. What's the next game?"

Plan B (for Boring): You could talk to the DM, out of game, and just SAY "We don't want PvP. Please stop."

Plan C: If Plan B is already doomed to failure, go behind his back and unionize the players. Make a pact not to get hostile.

[goto124]

Plan A: You could all just go full Deathmatch. And when one PC is left standing ask "Well, that was fun. What's the next game?"

Deathmatch? I think you mean Paranoia.

[Shades998]

FULL PVP DEATHMATCH, sounds like the best option. LOL!

Well, for instance he put our paladin into a situation that met certain doom. So we had to lie to him to get him out of it, then he intentionally told the paladin that we lied to him through an npc. So now the paladin may end up dissolving the group or splitting it which may take my character out of play. Since I am the one who had to make up the fabrication. We will see next week if the paladin freaks out on everyone. Not a situation I really want to get into. After all it's a game. I never thought I would not look forward to a roleplay session.

[goto124]

FULL PVP DEATHMATCH, sounds like the best option. LOL!

If you want to go FULL PVP DEATHMATCH, talk to all the other players (your buddies) and ask if they would like a FULL PVP DEATHMATCH.

Might work best if it's the comedic kind of FULL PVP DEATHMATCH.

[Shades998]

Comedy characters always have the lowest life expectancy. I will try to be the least funny, or mute my mic so they can't hear me laugh when I lightning bolt them all!

[Gastronomie]

Ehhhh, the best solution seems like searching for a new DM.

If you don't enjoy a game, you should quit it. No reason to stay, really.

[Shades998]

Sound advice. I will look for something new this week.

[Pugwampy]

I dont suppose you could give him the Seseme street speech and remind him this is a cooperative game not only between players but between DM and Players and what he is doing is uncooperative and that peeps dont want to play with him because of that .

[Mr Beer]

Plan C: If Plan B is already doomed to failure, go behind his back and unionize the players. Make a pact not to get hostile.

This is how I would do it but that's assuming you all know each other and his shenanigans.

[Freemason Than]

FULL PVP DEATHMATCH, sounds like the best option. LOL!

Well, for instance he put our paladin into a situation that met certain doom. So we had to lie to him to get him out of it, then he intentionally told the paladin that we lied to him through an npc. So now the paladin may end up dissolving the group or splitting it which may take my character out of play. Since I am the one who had to make up the fabrication. We will see next week if the paladin freaks out on everyone. Not a situation I really want to get into. After all it's a game. I never thought I would not look forward to a roleplay session.

Without further context or other examples, I still don't see what's so terribad about that.

Why did you have to lie to the paladin to get him out of that situation?
Why would the paladin not realize that it was certain doom?
If not beforehand, then could he not at least conclude afterwards that it was in everyone's best interest that the party got him out of it?
And most importantly, if the paladin decides to dissolve the party - isn't that on the paladin then, not the DM?

Plus the latter half of that post is just pure speculation.
Seriously, if that paladin decides to kick you out of the party, blame him.

It's cliché, but communication is key here. Clearly you and your DM have a different view on PvP.
Most people I know are against the party actually fighting amongst themselves, but are fine with them occasionally having disagreements or conflicting stakes in the plot du jour. What one views as adding some roleplay and drama, another can see as manipulative DM behaviour.

Since you've already talked to your DM and he "probably won't change his style" (yet more speculation), you just need to ask yourself if this is a dealbreaker for you.
But first of all I'd suggest actually waiting until next session to see what happens.

[Darth Ultron]

At this point what do you think I should do? Is this even worth trying to salvage or should I just try to find a new DM with a more positive perspective, even though these guys are my friends.

You would be better off finding another DM and another game. Some people are just jerks. But if you want to stay, there are things you can do. You tried the pointless talking too him, so I don't even need to say that would have been useless.

First off, you should never let anyone be a pladain character in a game with a jerk DM. EVER. The paladain is just too vunderable, and it's in the rules. If someone really wants to be a ''good knight'', have them be a good cleric of the god of war. Or a good fighter. Or a good favored soul. Or a fighter/druid(pick warhorse for an aninal compainion), or whatever.

If your stuck in the spot where Joe already has a paladain character, just kill the character. It's easy. Or just have the paladain fall form grace, quick. "ok, DM, so my character is now a fighter, coll, lets continue the game''. Less then five seconds, and poof, no more strife.

Now for any other character he might mess with, just always pick option B. Again, this is so easy. Like the jerk DM sets up a plot where player 3 and player 4 will ''be forced to fight''. Ok, so the characters say ''yup, we hate each other and will fight to the death....on new years eve. But for now, on with the adventure.'' If the DM pulls some sort of ''oh, your characters honor demands you act like a murderhobo'', just have the player say ''ok, I loose my honor and be come just a normal person...lets continue the game''. Again: easy.

Remeber you can always pick B and spin it.

[Hopeless]

Or play a LE character who the Paladin is trying to redeem but the LE character being Tarquin level aware of the tropes considers the Paladin a friend and elects to protect him from the jerk dm by saying,"Yes I lied to you because for you to help me find redemption I must protect you from every jerk ass who thinks paladin's must either fall or die because they think your code of honour demands you throw your life away for no reason... MY code of honour says, NO YOU MOVE!"😎

Spoiler

Show

I consider this the Bucky or Winter Soldier defence!😉