I just had my first session with an idiot player.

[Alysar]

I've only been playing D&D regularly since last fall, I play an online IRC game. Two of the other players have been there since I started. We've gone through a couple other players, and they've all been fairly decent. Until tonight.

The new guy is introduced to the game, and almost immediately starts fooling around with the altar that had been throwing insta-kill traps at us just a little while earlier (a lucky high roll is the only reason my character wasn't killed) and the rest of us were careful to avoid. And even after the first time he triggered something, he STILL kept beating on it. The altar cast a force cage around us. We were in it all of 5 minutes and he tried to justify himself by saying that we have to do something, anything before we starve to death.

Granted, he has an wisdom of 7, but that doesn't mean that he has to play suicidal. It was almost as if he couldn't comprehend that the rest of us didn't WANT to get our characters killed. One of the other players eventually had to attack him to try to get him to stop. Finally the DM had an NPC party member cast an adamantium cage around him to keep him out of trouble.

There was even a whole bit that had something to do with him confusing the rules of D&D with the rules of Star Wars.

After he left the chat room, the DM told us that he would talk to the guy and if he didn't knock it off, he would be gone. I'm thankful for that. If he doesn't, he's going to have to roll up a new character REAL soon because the rest of us will most likely gang up on him before he gets someone killed.

By the way, before the game he said that the only reason he rolled up a chaotic neutral character was because he wasn't allowed to have an evil character.

I just needed to rant about this. The whole reason we play D&D is because it's fun. This was not fun.

I've seen horror stories on the internet about gamers that no one can stand. I always thought they were exaggerated a little. The idiots really are out there.

Anyone want to make me feel better about this by posting stories of players that are as bad or worse?

[Swordguy]

I'd post about stupid things my wife has done, but she reads these forums.

Our couch is NOT comfy...

[Lucky]

Meh, I gamed with two guys with ADHD and one with a massive anger management problem for the longest time. In person.

Besides, if he really screws up anything he's gone, and then just ask the DM to reset to before he was let in.

[SilverClawShift]

I'd post about stupid things my wife has done, but she reads these forums.

Our couch is NOT comfy...

They say you can tell how compromising someone is with their spouse by looking at the amount of effort they put into picking out a nice couch...

[KIDS]

I can completely understand your pain; I played with people like that too, and that one actually did wipe us. To make matters worse he was a NG Elf Cleric/Wizard with Wis 17 and Int 16, but that still didn't help, it ended up chaotic stupid.

On the other hand, you were lucky it was in a chat room. While internet's potential for transferring hateful remarks or stupidity is not to be underestimated, it happening in RL at a gaming table is much worse.

Just don't get upset about it (yeah I know, lame). Or if you do, at least don't let yourself throw insults or such at the player like that because then he will turn out to be the victim. Have fun, the vast majority is made of okay people (thankfully)!

[Argent]

We used to game with a guy who was a living caricature of all bad gamers everywhere. Total lack of personal hygiene, food-stained t-shirts, the "my character has to be the STAR of the show!" complex, and best of all, he always played the most annoying characters ever. The hyperactive 12-year-old sidekick, "hey, guys, let's go beat up some monsters!" character. The bard who always had to break off from the group and go explore by himself (why that guy never got eaten by a wight, I'll never know... oh, yeah, it was because the DM was his best buddy and never let that character get into trouble). The list goes on.

We eventually had to kick him out of the group; 'twasn't a pleasant conversation but our gaming enjoyment went up a thousandfold when he was gone.

[Shhalahr Windrider]

By the way, before the game he said that the only reason he rolled up a chaotic neutral character was because he wasn't allowed to have an evil character.

Spoken like someone with no understanding of the alignment system.

Anyone want to make me feel better about this by posting stories of players that are as bad or worse?

Once in Living Greyhawk, another player tried to push my druid's animal companion into a magical energy field of unknown purpose. When my druid threatened him with retaliation, the player mumbled something about the Living Greyhawk rules against attacking another player.

Total Jerk.

[Wolfgang]

By the way, before the game he said that the only reason he rolled up a chaotic neutral character was because he wasn't allowed to have an evil character.

This is the only reason you need to dump him now. Do not delay.

[Kaelaroth]

I pity you. However... there are greater difficulties.

I myself have played a character who's only other cohort had the Wisdom and Intelligence of a small chicken..

Thus, a new era of utter stupidity was born. Chasing after marbles, attacking sheep.... And then we encountered an actual dungeon. The dragon's animated undead slaves ran at us, swords flailing. This was the oppurtunity for my mage to utilise his awesome Fireballs. yet, the stupid barb runs in, and cleaves. He dies, as I of course can't blast if he's in the way. Blames Me..... grrrr....



Anyone else?

[TheAlmightyOne]

I always game with a bunch of idiots. They all seem to think the answer to every problem is stick a sword through it. Not kidding. There was actually a time where we found a magical alter so the wizard stabbed it, got electrocuted and then the cleric tried to pick up the alter cloth. Both spellcasters unconsious in the first 3 minutes of the game. After that we decided the rules could go hang so now we play just for fun. The cleric has a collection of spleens.

[Gaelbert]

I've had players burn down a city in 5 minutes that I spent three or four hours working on. My next city was made of stone.

[Shhalahr Windrider]

I've had players burn down a city in 5 minutes that I spent three or four hours working on. My next city was made of stone.

Personally, I just don't flesh out my cities with any but the most necessary of details. Lets me adapt to that kind of situation. Also leaves more time for Super Metroid.

[AKA_Bait]

I had a pyromaniac player. Didn't matter what character he played. Whatever it was, whatever alignment, whatever was going on he would find a way to set fire to SOMETHING. Usually a building when the party, including himself, are still inside.

Another fun bunch are these two players, who I am still in a group with, that inevitably play gay male lovers (these are two girls btw). It matters not how things start out, by the end they are writing slash about the dwarf and the half elf, the two humans, the blackguard and the monk or whatever combonation they happen to be that game. Doesn't sound so bad... until you live through it over and over and over again. The fact that the two players are cousins and roomates... doesn't help.

[shakes019]

My least favourite brand of idiot is the one who always has to go off on his own, no matter how many players are in the group. Or keeps going on that his evil/neutral character doesn't want to go on the adventure.

[Breaon]

The easiest solution to most of these issues is to talk to the "trouble" players as a DM, on the side.

[Deepblue706]

It sounds like you should kill this person. No, not the character, the person.

I suggest a tub full of lye - he'll completely dissolve, in time.

Or if you use more mundane means, eat the body.

[elliott20]

I used to be the troubled player at the table since I used to smoke. It's not that they minded the smoke, but rather the place we played at (my apartment) didn't have the best ventilation, so they would come out smelling like smoke. After about two sessions, one of my friends asked if I could just smoke outside while they're over, which I started doing.

That is, until I started playing one of my "dirty harry" characters. And suddenly they actually WANTED me to smoke at the table as it somehow... added to my character.

yeah, I thought it was funny too. But still, it only lasted while the character was in play.

[Tibor]

We've had a few bad players in our group. One girl kept falling asleep and then would get mad when we woke her up for her turn, there was another guy who couldn't understand the actions in a turn (ie you can't full attack if you've moved) no matter how many times we told him.

From people screaming battle cries on an ambush attack before we were ready to attack (and thus had to face battle ready Dwarves with tower sheilds in a 10ft tunnel), to the barbarian who thinks smashing traps rather then letting the rogue disable them is funny. We just give them two chances and then put them out of the group.

[de-trick]

I feel your pain

[PMDM]

This is why a smart DM will try and keep "team punishments" away from any "individual punishments".

Or, simply put, the stupid character was being stupid, not you. Why should you have to pay for his mistakes? If I was DMing, I would have had a personal magical affect happen to him, involving level loss, or permanent ability drain, or just something that permanently messes up their face. The Chaotically Stupid players hate it when you maul their faces.

[Curmudgeon]

By the way, before the game he said that the only reason he rolled up a chaotic neutral character was because he wasn't allowed to have an evil character.

I suggest you start allowing evil characters in the future. If their actions are offensive you've got a better in-game justification for killing them than player stupidity.

I like playing evil characters. They're self-motivated. I also like playing smart characters, who realize that betraying their support structure is just suicidal. Really, the biggest difference is that there's got to be a tangible reward for dangerous missions, not just the "satisfaction of a good deed" (AKA experience points).

I don't care about good/evil, but chaotic really bugs me.

[mostlyharmful]

most of these posts assume something that bothers me, that it is solely up to the DM to regulate the behaviour of the players in the party away from chaotic stupid. If someone behaved like the lunatic rogue around my character in life and death situations then IC i'd feel I had to do something, doesn't matter if its physical or verbal or just leaving him behind but having a liability on the team is a problem for the team and leaving it up to the DM is like waiting for god to intervene to solve the problem.

[Kurald Galain]

Chaotic is simply a bad name, in that its dictionary definition does not match its D&D definition. The axis could better be called "team player" vs. "individualist" or something. Less snappy, but less confusing.

[Quietus]

Chaotic is simply a bad name, in that its dictionary definition does not match its D&D definition. The axis could better be called "team player" vs. "individualist" or something. Less snappy, but less confusing.

And you'd have everyone and their brother playing "Individualist" so that they can justify their actions with "Screw that, I work alone!"

[Kurald Galain]

And you'd have everyone and their brother playing "Individualist" so that they can justify their actions with "Screw that, I work alone!"

Well, yeah, but that seems better than people doing random stuff because they're chaotic. Kind of like how novice VtM players consider Malkavians. And die the next round.

[JEntropy]

Our bard in my first campaign caused some serious issues for the party.

After being jailed and breaking free, we had to pass up through the dungeon, into the cellar, and finally a busy kitchen/mess hall. We had commandeered some uniforms, and were attempting to pass through unnoticed. The bard yelled out "The Secret Ingredient is People" and started chucking kitchen tools at the npc cooks. Meanwhile, all we have are improvised weapons ("DM, please tell me there is a butcher knife or a cleaver hanging from the rack")...

Later on, we suspected an oddities dealer as being a member of an ancient group of cultists. The bard stirred up a mob and sent the rabble to his doorstep, while our paladin attempted to calm everyone down and avoid what ended up in disaster. Understand though, the bard was doing this out of retaliation: he had previously snuck into the house during the night, attempting to catch the cultist unaware, and had a short sword planted in his chest, his gear taken, and his body dumped onto the porch.

Eventually, the PC ended up dying, ironically in a valiantly fought battle, not one of his wacky ideas. The game ended up going on hiatus after that chapter was finished, and when it resumed the DM didn't invite him back, because "his playing style didn't mesh well with everyone else's".

Not nearly as bad as your experience (mine wasn't actually bad, he just repeatedly got the group into trouble) but I thought it might make you feel a bit better.

These things get weeded out in time. A good DM won't kill your character because someone else has a deathwish.

[Dhavaer]

Another fun bunch are these two players, who I am still in a group with, that inevitably play gay male lovers (these are two girls btw). It matters not how things start out, by the end they are writing slash about the dwarf and the half elf, the two humans, the blackguard and the monk or whatever combonation they happen to be that game. Doesn't sound so bad... until you live through it over and over and over again. The fact that the two players are cousins and roomates... doesn't help.

If you have a pair of male players, you could get them to make female characters and do the same thing. Bonus points if one of them is an elf princess.

[Lolzords]

This guy in the game we're playing this week is the biggest attention whore ever, ginger, tubby and a complete arse.

So far, all but one of his characters have been chaotic evil elven rangers called "pie" and he's given them the exact same stats and equipment. Also, every character sheet he tries to be funny by writing "ass" instead of ash.

The character he plays in this is a chaotic evil half-orc barbarian (even though we already had a half-orc barbarian) and he dies in three rounds. Basically, our huge party had split into two groups and he was in the group under my leadership.

It went something like this.

DM: Ok, you see *STUFFS* what do you do?
Ass: I DRAW OUT MY GREATSWORD AND RUN DOWN THAT HALLWAY SCREAMING!!
(He did this even though we split up and he knew (he watched) that he was a member of this party and he ran off the way the other party went.)
DM: Ok, you do that. *moves counter off map* Now, back to you lot.

It's lucky we have a cool teacher called Mr Williams dungeon mastering for us as even though the guy is being an idiot he deals with him in a decent way.

Anywho, later he was running down a hallway and came across the other group, and he had watched the other group about 20 mins ago fall into this river filled with piranhas. He sprints through the pond and is reduced to -5 hitpoints as he gets out, he lies half in half out and he makes no attempt to try and stabilize himself even though it was suggested by four people.

Now, the other party had set something off just now and was running down the hallway, the psion dragged Ass out the way and kept on running. As ass was killed by the thing that the party had set off, he blamed it on the Psion and buggered off on to the computers for the rest of the day talking to himself.

I swear, none of his characters have lived 30 minutes their creation, you have to feel sorry for them.

[Arbitrarity]

Our bard in my first campaign caused some serious issues for the party.

After being jailed and breaking free, we had to pass up through the dungeon, into the cellar, and finally a busy kitchen/mess hall. We had commandeered some uniforms, and were attempting to pass through unnoticed. The bard yelled out "The Secret Ingredient is People" and started chucking kitchen tools at the npc cooks. Meanwhile, all we have are improvised weapons ("DM, please tell me there is a butcher knife or a cleaver hanging from the rack")...

Spoiler

Show

Soylent Green is made of PEOPLE!

[Aquillion]

Thus, a new era of utter stupidity was born. Chasing after marbles, attacking sheep.... And then we encountered an actual dungeon. The dragon's animated undead slaves ran at us, swords flailing. This was the oppurtunity for my mage to utilise his awesome Fireballs. yet, the stupid barb runs in, and cleaves. He dies, as I of course can't blast if he's in the way. Blames Me..... grrrr....

You should've just fireballed him. He's a barb, he gets d12s to your fireball d6s, so he ought to have survived even if he doesn't save.