A Monster for Every Season: Summer 2
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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheManicMonocle's Avatar

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    Default Zombie invasion!

    So here's the game:

    You are the commander of an army defending a city somewhere in D&D land from zombies. You are also told by the king that if you defend the city in a really creative way you'll be made a nobleman. Type here the most creative way you can think of to defend the city from zombie hordes. Assume the city has walls, and is rather large.

    Edit: also assume you have acces to all the resources of the city, the clerics, wizards, etc.
    Last edited by TheManicMonocle; 2016-11-13 at 06:00 AM.

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Scarlet Knight's Avatar

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Step 1: Create decanter of endless BBQ sauce.
    Step 2: Use fly spell to travel above zombie's reach & spray horde.
    Step 3: Retreat behind walls as zombies devour each other.
    Step 4: Cut off head of final zombie who's now too fat to move.
    A long surcote of pers upon he hade, / And by his syde he baar a rusty blade. - Chaucer

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheManicMonocle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet Knight View Post
    Step 1: Create decanter of endless BBQ sauce.
    Step 2: Use fly spell to travel above zombie's reach & spray horde.
    Step 3: Retreat behind walls as zombies devour each other.
    Step 4: Cut off head of final zombie who's now too fat to move.
    Lol, I don't think that bbq sauce exists in faerune
    "A necromancer is just a really late healer."

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    I have all the wizards/clerics cast Abundant Ammunition on a bunch of barrels full of arrows, then dump them over the walls for arrow waterfalls.

    Alternately, I have the strongest ones cast Fabricate to make a even larger wall(and a equally large pit) out of dirt. Zombies fall down into pit, and the stragglers who live scratch at giant earthworks.
    Last edited by hector212121; 2016-11-14 at 01:54 AM.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheManicMonocle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    What if you got all the clerics in the city to make as much holy water as possible and then drowned them in a tidal wave of holy water
    "A necromancer is just a really late healer."

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Wouldn't work. Costs too much; holy water is 25 GP/ounce.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Clear a large portion of the lawnfields outside the city and develop a variety of plants to defend your housecity.
    "Ye are who ye are on all o' yer days. All o' em. Includin' that worst an' tha best. Ev'ry single one counts. All tha way ta tha end."

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  8. - Top - End - #8
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Scarlet Knight's Avatar

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!



    "Yes, yes, it has beautiful foliage. And I know it needs little care. But honestly, hiring someone to rake the leaves in the fall is...well...just murder."
    A long surcote of pers upon he hade, / And by his syde he baar a rusty blade. - Chaucer

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RPGNovice's Avatar

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    I am just a pathfinder newb, so I am probably missing something, but why not cast grease over them all and then cast a fire spell on top of that?
    Last edited by RPGNovice; 2016-12-08 at 03:24 PM.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    First you make what looks like a hole in the wall, and have it lead to a teleportation gate that leads directly to the Tomb of Horrors. Then you let them funnel into their doom
    The first rule of gaming, before you have even chosen the game is and always should be

    HAVE FUN

    (FUN being defined as it is in dwarf fortress)

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Step one: find sorcerers who all have Draconic Heritage (Red) (Brass) or (Gold) and Draconic Breath. Since every sorcerer has at least first level spells, they can all use at least 3 fire breaths a day.
    Step two: Teach all of the wizards of third level or higher Web.
    Step three: Have all of the wizards who now know web cast web on the zombies, covering as large an area as possible
    Step four: UNLEASH THE DRAGON FIRE
    Repeat daily.
    Quote Originally Posted by Abyssal Keeper View Post
    Please do not lick members of the committee, thank you.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Quote Originally Posted by Masema View Post
    Step one: find sorcerers who all have Draconic Heritage (Red) (Brass) or (Gold) and Draconic Breath. Since every sorcerer has at least first level spells, they can all use at least 3 fire breaths a day.
    Step two: Teach all of the wizards of third level or higher Web.
    Step three: Have all of the wizards who now know web cast web on the zombies, covering as large an area as possible
    Step four: UNLEASH THE DRAGON FIRE
    Repeat daily.
    fire bolt is a cantrip, you don't need the dragonborns at all, just casters with web
    The first rule of gaming, before you have even chosen the game is and always should be

    HAVE FUN

    (FUN being defined as it is in dwarf fortress)

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Quote Originally Posted by braveheart View Post
    fire bolt is a cantrip, you don't need the dragonborns at all, just casters with web
    Doesn't have the same flavour. And in 3.5, Kelgore's Fire Bolt is 1st level. I cannot find a spell of lower level that deals any fire damage.

    And they're Sorcerer's with dragon heritage. Not dragonborn.
    Last edited by Masema; 2016-12-09 at 05:14 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Abyssal Keeper View Post
    Please do not lick members of the committee, thank you.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Xanyo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Step 1: Find a few fresh corpses.
    Step 2: Use their brains as bait.
    Step 3: Lead the majority of the zombies a good distance from the castle.
    Step 4: Put a Contingency(explosion): Teleport on yourself.
    Step 5: Polymorph any Object one of the zombies into antimatter.
    Step 6: Clean up.
    INTP-A.
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  15. - Top - End - #15
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ElfPirate

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Step one: Realize Zombies have no intelligence or constitution. They will never be physically or mentally exhausted. Their stats aren't 0, they are simply non-existant.
    Step two: Ask a wizard to divide all the iron in the city into an ammount of parts equal to the zombie's inteligence.
    Step three: As the gate spell takes you through a black hole, leave the zombies behind, as they are too dense for the black hole get.
    Step four: Enjoy lording over your alternate plane city.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Step 1: Have Wizards enchant chariots with the Fly spell
    Step 2: Get present boxes and enchant them with Fireball spells at CL 10
    Step 3: Put 20 Fireball gifts in each chariot
    Step 4: Put 2 people dressed as Santa Claus per Chariot
    Step 5: Send these guys flying over the zombies while dropping the gifts over the hordes of zombies while screaming "HO HO HO MOTHER******" like madnen

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Step 1: Acquire an ungodly large number of rakes.
    Step 2: Set them in front of the walls of the city such that they will thwack whatever zombie that steps on it in the head.
    Step 3: Make popcorn.
    Step 4: Sit back and watch the zombies knock them selves down by stepping on the rakes and getting hit by them.
    Step 5: Get bored of watching the zombies be incapable of getting around such a simplistic trap.
    Step 6: Launch artillery strikes on the zombies until they are no more.
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

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  18. - Top - End - #18
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Xanyo's Avatar

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Step 1: Capture a couple dozen zombies.
    Step 2: Cast a Glyph of Warding on each zombie, set to go off in 24 hours. Use the glyphs to store Fireballs.
    Step 3: Attach an Everburning corpseTorch to those same zombies.
    Step 4: Watch the other zombies flock around the treated zombies.
    Step 5: Wait.
    Step 6: Clean up the burnt zombie flesh.
    INTP-A.
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  19. - Top - End - #19
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Djinn_in_Tonic's Avatar

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Assuming the larger of Faerun's cities (using Waterdeep as a model), we get about 130,000 citizens. By 3.5 rules that gives us about 1,300 guards, and an extra 6,500 we can easily conscript.

    We've also got about four members of every character class around level 15-17, but it falls rapidly off from there. I'd argue we have closer to 16 of each class due to the city size, but that's debatable. Still, in terms of protecting an entire city, that's probably insufficient against suitably large numbers of zombies (since most classes can only kill about four per round, or rely on spells which will eventually expire). Sure, our heroes may never die, but the towns in trouble. Especially since a plan that relies on a small subset of those people is untenable at best.

    So we have a few options.

    My favorite? Put a monk or other high AC fighter wearing pieces of raw meat at every major gate entrance, give him a reach weapon and a lot of opportunity attacks, cover the area in front of him with ball bearings to trip up zombies, and put highly skilled archers (Any level 8+ Rogues, rangers, fighters, scouts, etc) at arrow slits around him. The undead, if not suitably commanded to be a greater threat, will almost certainly take the path of least resistance to the smell of flesh, letting you bottleneck and dispose of them swiftly. Just drop the gate, clear out the bodies, and reopen it again every now and again, and swap out the defender if the undead manage to get lucky rolls. A level 15 halberd-weilding, meat-wearing PC class should be able to handle basically a limitless number of undead if you use gate limiting shenanigans to keep the flow manageable, and zombies shouldn't be smart enough to understand a portcullis.

    And if that doesn't keep zombies off the walls? Cast Continual Flame on them. The 3.5 rules have to maximum object size, so that should get you a constantly burning city with gaps in the flame at the gates. Sure, there's no heat...But zombies aren't smart enough to make that connection, and will probably shy away from fire towards the already more tempting meat-covered gate guards.

    Advantages of this plan? Minimum damage to the city and surrounding farmland, doesn't require high level casters, and requires very little in terms of disruption to life inside the city. Should also work against any rate of zombie invasion outside of...well, you'd have to hit the city with much more than the city's population each day, I'd guess. Given that an AoO build defender with archers as backup could probably kill 8 zombies a round every round for an entire day at every gate...That's 11,520 dead zombies at every gate the city has, and probably only requires 2-3 defenders per gate (aside from the firing squad). If you use ALL the PC classes you have at your disposal? You could up that to 20,000+ per gate easily.
    Last edited by Djinn_in_Tonic; 2017-02-16 at 12:45 AM.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Troll in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Throw a horde of angry house cats at them

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Zombie invasion!

    Pigeon guided Paladin Railgun.
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