Female Armor. Any Explanation?

[8BitNinja]

I'm kind of pissed off about female armor. I can't believe armor designers would screw over an entire gender with their trade.

Women get the same protection as men, but while men have to wear massive, bulky armor, women get to wear a mail bikini. Do you know how much an encumbrance plate is? I wouldn't wear it if there was a lighter variant for men.

So why are women protected so well by barely anything, while men have to wear an entire steel mill's worth of metal for protection?

If you haven't gotten it by now, this thread is a joke, so don't take the opening comment too seriously.

[Koo Rehtorb]

[Cernor]

What on earth are you talking about? I thought real men charged into battle wearing naught but a kilt! And occasionally sandals. I can't believe there are men so insecure in their masculinity that they'd feel the need to hide behind, as you so eloquently put it, an entire steel mill's worth of metal!

[AvatarVecna]

I'm kind of pissed off about female armor. I can't believe armor designers would screw over an entire gender with their trade.

Women get the same protection as men, but while men have to wear massive, bulky armor, women get to wear a mail bikini. Do you know how much an encumbrance plate is? I wouldn't wear it if there was a lighter variant for men.

So why are women protected so well by barely anything, while men have to wear an entire steel mill's worth of metal for protection?

If you haven't gotten it by now, this thread is a joke, so don't take the opening comment too seriously.

The whole 'chainmail bikini' thing isn't realistic, but then again nothing else is either. Still, there's time where I wish designers (and the art team) would actually design "females in armor" rather than "females in armor". Earlier today, I was looking for a nice image to go with my scythe-wielding death paladin decked out in full plate. As you can imagine, death-themed full plate isn't super-difficult to find, but apparently adding the scythe makes such an image too hard to find. I eventually settled for two pictures: this one for the armor, and this one for the "weapon on horse that also has armor in it, but not good armor". But those were found after wading through quite a few image results for "female plate armor scythe", like:

Spoiler: Warning: Contains Questionably Safe Content

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Spoiler: This one...

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Spoiler: ...this one...

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Spoiler: ...this one...

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Spoiler: ...this one...

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Spoiler: ...this one...

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Spoiler: ...this one...

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Spoiler: ...this one...

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Spoiler: ...and this one.

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You know what, when I usually build this character, they don't have armor at all, so I can be flexible on the armor, it doesn't have to be plate, but many of these are barely even wearing clothes! Ugh...

[Lord Raziere]

Tch. Wimps. Kilts are for cowards, real warriors learn martial arts to tough their skin up until it becomes harder than steel then acquire regeneration. Honestly, parrying is just a scrub's way of taking it head on. Dodging is for losers who can't take a hit. Armor is admitting you've already lost because you have to hide in a makeshift turtle shell to even survive a fight for either gender. The whole question is irrelevant really.

[Millstone85]

It is simple. There are more gods than goddesses among the deities of war. In addition, the former are usually straight or closeted while the latter are openly lesbian. Thus, female warriors gain a great degree of protection from the divine gaze.

[Jormengand]

It is simple. There are more gods than goddesses among the deities of war. In addition, the former are usually straight or closeted while the latter are openly lesbian. Thus, female warriors gain a great degree of protection from the divine gaze.

Not to mention the divine gays.

[Anonymouswizard]

What on earth are you talking about? I thought real men charged into battle wearing naught but a kilt! And occasionally sandals. I can't believe there are men so insecure in their masculinity that they'd feel the need to hide behind, as you so eloquently put it, an entire steel mill's worth of metal!

Kilts? Real men wade into battle with nothing but their mighty sword!

Or is that the bedroom? I forget.

In all seriousness though, am I the only person out there who finds a woman in full gothic plate sexier than one in a chainmail bikini? Because I don't know why, but the idea of a woman who can legitimate kick my arse turns me on more than a woman wearing a paladin themed stripper's costume. I can't tell you how happy I am that in Dragon Age Origins I can make a female human warrior and stick her in massive gothic plate, and there's no boob bumps at all, the armour is just slightly thinner than on men and looks functional.

[JustSomeGuy]

Judging by those pictures, the entire steel mill was used up on the scythes already.

[AvatarVecna]

Kilts? Real men wade into battle with nothing but their mighty sword!

Or is that the bedroom? I forget.

In all seriousness though, am I the only person out there who finds a woman in full gothic plate sexier than one in a chainmail bikini? Because I don't know why, but the idea of a woman who can legitimate kick my arse turns me on more than a woman wearing a paladin themed stripper's costume. I can't tell you how happy I am that in Dragon Age Origins I can make a female human warrior and stick her in massive gothic plate, and there's no boob bumps at all, the armour is just slightly thinner than on men and looks functional.

It does it for me a bit too.

But as far as armor goes, functionality is important. Looking super-sexy while wearing basically nothing means you're not looking as cool or as badass as you could be if you were wearing something even a bit more functional. It doesn't have to be much, but a chain shirt instead of a chainmail bikini isn't asking much, right?

Judging by those pictures, the entire steel mill was used up on the scythes already.

Lol, that's a fair assessment.

[Oneris]

Because male armor is designed to appeal to males, and female armor is also designed to appeal to males. Guys like to project into a super masculine figure, and they like staring at underdressed feminine figures, particular the backside if it's a 3rd person game. I'd hazard that 1st person shooters and other games have a much lower ratio of ridiculously heavy male armor to ridiculously revealing female armor.

[Kiero]

As far as the ancient Greeks were concerned, real men fought naked (and oiled) because they were proud of their bodies and keen to show them off. For sport, at least.

Obviously in war you went armoured.

[VoxRationis]

The whole 'chainmail bikini' thing isn't realistic, but then again nothing else is either. Still, there's time where I wish designers (and the art team) would actually design "females in armor" rather than "females in armor". Earlier today, I was looking for a nice image to go with my scythe-wielding death paladin decked out in full plate. As you can imagine, death-themed full plate isn't super-difficult to find, but apparently adding the scythe makes such an image too hard to find. I eventually settled for two pictures: this one for the armor, and this one for the "weapon on horse that also has armor in it, but not good armor". But those were found after wading through quite a few image results for "female plate armor scythe", like:

Why are the scythes all so big? Does that make them really that much better at being scythes?

[AvatarVecna]

As far as the ancient Greeks were concerned, real men fought naked (and oiled) because they were proud of their bodies and keen to show them off. For sport, at least.

Obviously in war you went armoured.

Waitiaminute...

...are you saying that "300" was historically innaccurate?!!

[ComradeBear]

Because male armor is designed to appeal to males, and female armor is also designed to appeal to males. Guys like to project into a super masculine figure, and they like staring at underdressed feminine figures, particular the backside if it's a 3rd person game. I'd hazard that 1st person shooters and other games have a much lower ratio of ridiculously heavy male armor to ridiculously revealing female armor.

*mumbles something about overwatch and booty*

Granted, my wife usually chooses to be a skimpily dressed femme-fatale when she plays, so I don't think it's as simple as "guys like armor and naked chicks."
I also have female artist friends who usually draw their females as somewhat skimpily armored and sexy. So some ladies like to be deadly and sexy at the same time, IME.

As with most things, I tend to say that this summary is not accurate and somewhat dismissive. Just my 2cp. Don't really wanna start a fight about it, tho.

[AvatarVecna]

Why are the scythes all so big? Does that make them really that much better at being scythes?

I dunno, is a greatsword really any better than a longsword? It's only a bigger version of a normal sword.

Bigger weapon means more weight behind the blow. That kinda thing matters for weapon-wielders. Of course, too big and they become unwieldy, which most of these scythes would be I imagine. So yes, the images full of scantily-clad women going to battle wearing a stripper uniform are even less functional than originally proposed!

[Cernor]

Kilts? Real men wade into battle with nothing but their mighty sword!

Or is that the bedroom? I forget.

Ji'e'toh dictates that more honour is earned in battle by touching a foe with your open hand than by killing them... Wonder how much honour slapping them in the face with your "mighty sword" is worth?

However, the benefit of kilts is that they let you flaunt your manhood status as a warrior in a socially acceptable manner, while remaining easy to remove in case you want to ditch it on the battlefield.

[Anonymouswizard]

Because male armor is designed to appeal to males, and female armor is also designed to appeal to males. Guys like to project into a super masculine figure,

Speaking as a man, personally I take masculine because I fail at fabulous.

and they like staring at underdressed feminine figures, particular the backside if it's a 3rd person game.

Actually, from real life I've discovered that a woman's backside looks just as nice in a pair of trousers, if not better, as do men's. Call me a weird bisexual person who doesn't understand why lesbians are supposed to be hot, but why am I supposed to prefer staring at a woman's exposed arse/tits that looking at a badass warrior in badass armour. Heck, I like mail armour and scale armour, my home setting prioritises them over plate.

I'd hazard that 1st person shooters and other games have a much lower ratio of ridiculously heavy male armor to ridiculously revealing female armor.

Actually the ridiculously heavy male armour is still prominent, because they have to put something on the box so we know who we're apparently playing (otherwise I pretend it's Jim from the house next door). Less ridiculously revealing female armour, but I'm not 100% sure those games have female characters.

[Oneris]

*mumbles something about overwatch and booty*

Granted, my wife usually chooses to be a skimpily dressed femme-fatale when she plays, so I don't think it's as simple as "guys like armor and naked chicks."
I also have female artist friends who usually draw their females as somewhat skimpily armored and sexy. So some ladies like to be deadly and sexy at the same time, IME.

As with most things, I tend to say that this summary is not accurate and somewhat dismissive. Just my 2cp. Don't really wanna start a fight about it, tho.

I'm merely attempting to make a corollary to Third Person Seductress, which is a documented trope that 3rd person games with a female player character tend to be disproportionately sexualized.

[BladeofObliviom]

Spoiler: Obligatory

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[8BitNinja]

I love the joke comments, but to address the "serious" ones.

I'm not asking why it exists, I don't care about that. I need to know why a mail bikini protects for women as much as wearing an M1 Abrams for men.

[Cluedrew]

Personally, what gets me is not actually the female armour, but when it is put beside much more realistic* male armour.

I usually twitch whenever I see the armour with cut a ways or impossible proportions I twitch a little. A few weeks ago I was reading a comic and a female with an over the top body and it actually took a while to register that it was borderline impossible. Then the male lead comes back into frame with his ridiculous height, shoulders so wide his upper body curls out and muscles just rippling through his shirt. Everyone in that story is over the top.

So I guess put both or neither in ridiculous armour, never one.

* Which is not to say real, but it has plausible deniability of being battle armour.

[Stealth Marmot]

Spoiler: Did you know?

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Also...

Spoiler: SCIENCE!

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[Vinyadan]

Tch. Wimps. Kilts are for cowards, real warriors learn martial arts to tough their skin up until it becomes harder than steel then acquire regeneration. Honestly, parrying is just a scrub's way of taking it head on. Dodging is for losers who can't take a hit. Armor is admitting you've already lost because you have to hide in a makeshift turtle shell to even survive a fight for either gender. The whole question is irrelevant really.

This reminds me of the way in which Joe Frazier seemed to block with his head during his second fight against Muhammad Ali (Ali won by judges' decision).

Waitiaminute...

...are you saying that "300" was historically innaccurate?!!

Lolz.

[Cluedrew]

To 8BitNinja: Hand-wave. If there was a in universe explanation I'm sure the men would be using it too.

Every explanation I have seen has been... ironic commentary at best.

[JNAProductions]

This thread makes me laugh.

[georgie_leech]

To be clear, you're complaining that men have to wear such ridiculous amounts of metal in the name of masculinity when they could get away with wearing a few bits of chain around the groin, right? Hear hear!

[Talakeal]

What on earth are you talking about? I thought real men charged into battle wearing naught but a kilt!

That's actually a common misconception.

You see, in reality the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.

[warty goblin]

It pretty clearly isn't an explanation for chainmail bikinis, but women in realistic armor tend to look pretty much like men in realistic armor. Since the goal of a lot of fantasy art is to have a cool looking and identifiable character, as opposed to a suit of armor that contains some sort of mystery-person, designing the armor to reveal the sort of person wearing it isn't that crazy. I mean sure there's the odd defective person like me who goes 'ooh, fluted tassets!' or who gets annoyed by the constant depiction of vikings in scale armor, but that's probably not a large chunk of the market. Like I said, not what's going on with combat lingerie, since what's going on with that is pretty obvious. Sexy (for some value of the term) character is sexy.

[Deophaun]

Look, have you ever tried to stick a sword in someone when you have their jubblies shak'n and bake'n right in front of you? It's down right distracting, of course you're going to miss. That's why the function of the breastplate has, historically, been to lift and separate, not this "deflect incoming blows" nonsense that's popular in the pulp fiction market.