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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheManicMonocle's Avatar

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    Default Creative Cursing

    So I was wondering if you guys would share any creative ways characters curse in D&D. Like, I know Erevis Cale is fond of saying "Dark and empty!" When something bad happens, or Dahl from brimstone angels says "Ohgma's bloody papercuts!" Or "Watching Gods!" And I think the varied curses of faerune are interesting, so care to share?
    "A necromancer is just a really late healer."

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    I feel like most other cultural cursing immediately loses all emotional impact and just sounds silly. The way to get around that is to take something that already sounds offensive in real life, and give it a D&D twist.

    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".

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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Koo Rehtorb View Post
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".
    I think I might sig this. Mind if I do so?
    Quote Originally Posted by Koo Rehtorb View Post
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".
    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTrevor View Post
    It is always ok to start in a tavern.
    as long as the tavern is ON FIRE.
    Avatar by LoyalPaladin

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Stealth Marmot View Post
    I think I might sig this. Mind if I do so?
    Feel free.

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    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    I compiled a list of alliterative oaths for a bard many years ago.

    By ...

    ... Aladdin’s luminous lamp
    ... Aragorn’s arrogant armpits
    ... Arthur’s argent armor
    ... Balin’s burial box
    ... Belkar’s brazen boxers
    ... Belle’s belligerent beast
    ... Beowulf’s brown breeches
    ... Bilbo’s busted buttons
    ... Boadicea’s bodacious bodice
    ... Boromir’s bloody boxers
    ... Buttercup’s boned breastcups
    ... Cinderella’s spare slipper
    ... Conan’s copper codpiece
    ... Cyrano’s sorry surcoat
    ... Dorothy’s dropping domicile
    ... Dumbledore’s dappled drawers
    ... Durkon’s dirty digit
    ... Elric’s elegant elbows
    ... Eowyn’s excess of earwax
    ... Fezzik’s festering flower
    ... Flitwick’s floating feather
    ... Frodo’s fractured finger
    ... Galahad’s garish greaves
    ... Gimli’s grimy girdle
    ... Hagrid’s howling hounddog
    ... Haley’s happy hairstyle
    ... Hamlet’s happy homelife
    ... Hercules’ hairy helmet
    ... Horus’s horrible horcrux
    ... Inigo’s nasty kneecop
    ... Kimble’s constant quest
    ... Lancelot’s lurid leers
    ... the lush lurid alliteration of Lee
    ... McGonnagle’s magical madrigal
    ... Merlin’s maroon mittens
    ... Daenerys’s Naughty Knickers
    ... Oberon’s ochre overalls
    ... Peter’s precious panpipes
    ... Pinocchio’s pinewood p___
    ... Poppins’s purple pantaloons
    ... Rincewind’s rum-soaked robes
    ... Richelieu’s rancid rantings
    ... Saladin’s soiled smock
    ... Santa’s silver snowflake
    ... Screwtape’s scarlet skivvies
    ... Shelob’s short chemise
    ... Siegfried’s screeching solo
    ... Sinbad’s sinful snifter
    ... Smaug’s smoking smallclothes
    ... Snape’s snarls and snivels
    ... Snorri’s sordid saga
    ... Thorin’s thrilling thong
    ... Zorro’s zestful zither

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheManicMonocle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    I love it thank you, any help with coming up for a good curse for my paladin of ilmater?
    "A necromancer is just a really late healer."

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    Banned
     
    Anderlith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    For Ilmater
    Blight used like the f word. Blight this, blight that, blight you, blight this blighting blighter!!!
    Suffer this!
    Red ties

    Warfaring cultures might swear using Peace
    Falling Stars!
    Draught & famine! For cultures reliant on water
    Dragon teeth!
    Doglegged craven
    Dumber than ugly & twice as stupid
    Thrice cursed, illfaced, wreched, crosseyed bandyman
    Seller of high priced fruit
    Pigbrowed, deplorable, filthlicking, horseswindling crow eared, odorous, vagrant, gnash toothed, sidejawed, fool theft of good temper & quiet company
    Elves or druids might swear by Ash & Oak


    Some from Jim Butcher
    Stars & Stones
    Hell's Bells
    Empty Night

    Brandon Sanderson has excellent curses derived by worldbuilding. Which is the best way to do it.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Oooo good ones all (it's funny you mention jim butcher, I just finished dresden files)
    Last edited by TheManicMonocle; 2016-12-12 at 02:49 AM.

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    just the name of any deity, or the name of their symbol, or of an object used in worship

    Those trying not to blaspheme might substitute a similar sounding word or phrase (ie. "by george" instead of "by jove", "sacre bleu" instead of "sacre dieu" or "sacrement", etc. in the real world.) (In game perhaps "armadillo" for "olidammara", "veluna" for ehlonna and/or vecna, "trash dump" for "tharizdun", "solar" for "pelor", "caroline" for "corellon",

    References to the lower planes are also a good place to start, particularly if they evoke a strong mental image (ie. "hell's bells", "bloody hell", etc. in the real world) (in game, perhaps "gray wasting", "infernal engine", "hellfire", "charon's changepurse", "chemada's forges", "hell's hosts", "dark eight", "prince of demons", "wasted towers", "corpse strewn pesh", "abyssal abominations, etc. Plus both real world examples)
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    If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. That you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear, and this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream. -Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 5, Scene 1

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    as bad as a blasted gnome is a favorite of mine


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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MonkGirl

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Koo Rehtorb View Post
    I feel like most other cultural cursing immediately loses all emotional impact and just sounds silly. The way to get around that is to take something that already sounds offensive in real life, and give it a D&D twist.

    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".
    Other fun variations: "Ludicrously Specific Body Part", "Biologically Implausible Body Part", or both. Tiamat's third teat!

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    BarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    You could always call people "VACUOUS, TOFFEE-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERTS!" Screaming it at the top of your lungs is not optional.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Cernor View Post
    You could always call people "VACUOUS, TOFFEE-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERTS!" Screaming it at the top of your lungs is not optional.
    Hey I came to this thread for an argument!
    Quote Originally Posted by Koo Rehtorb View Post
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".
    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTrevor View Post
    It is always ok to start in a tavern.
    as long as the tavern is ON FIRE.
    Avatar by LoyalPaladin

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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Telok's Avatar

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Well I heard a curse on someone else recently: "May you have an injury that is not covered by workman's comp."
    Niven's Laws, #5
    If you've nothing to say, say it any way you like. Stylistic innovations, contorted story lines or none, exotic or genderless pronouns, internal inconsistencies, the recipe for preparing your lover as a cannibal banquet: feel free. If what you have to say is important and/or difficult to follow, use the simplest language possible. If the reader doesn't get it then, let it not be your fault.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    One thread a while ago talked about a setting where the gods were malevolent beings (or at least perceived as such), so common oaths and curses involved things like asking for their blessing or attention to come upon one's foes.

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    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Stealth Marmot View Post
    Hey I came to this thread for an argument!
    Oh, I'm sorry, this is abuse.

    Anyway, my usual methods are the alliterative/rhyming deity + object combination ("Sweet bacon of Boccob!" "Sweet fjords of Kord!" etc.), or word substitution.

    Here's one of my favorite word-substitution strings:
    Quote Originally Posted by Team Four Star, Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Ep. 19
    Vegeta: Son of a gum-chewing funk monster! Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me? Forget my life! Always surrounded by miserable failing clods, like this whole world decides to bend me over and find me in the Alps, like I'm some sort of schlock receptacle! Well, as far as I care, these miserable cows can have a fancy barbecue WITH A GODDAMN PIG!
    Both methods do require a quicker mind. The thing I like about the former method is that you can make it situationally appropriate. For example, say your party is in some kind of ancient temple, and discovers the central chamber - "Sweet altars of Abaddon!" Say you're walking into the castle treasury - "Sweet topaz of Tiamat!" You can make it fit the context.
    My headache medicine has a little "Ex" inscribed on the pill. It's not a brand name; it's an indicator that it works inside an Anti-Magic Field.

    Blue text means sarcasm. Purple text means evil. White text is invisible.

    My signature got too big for its britches. So now it's over here!

  17. - Top - End - #17
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    You could always look at some quotes from Sam from Sam & Max. Dude had many expletives that weren't expletives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Koo Rehtorb View Post
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".
    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTrevor View Post
    It is always ok to start in a tavern.
    as long as the tavern is ON FIRE.
    Avatar by LoyalPaladin

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by The Vanishing Hitchhiker View Post
    Other fun variations: "Ludicrously Specific Body Part", "Biologically Implausible Body Part", or both. Tiamat's third teat!
    In my next game, my character will swear by shouting, "Ludicrously Specific Body Part!"

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    2D8HP's Avatar

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    amused Re: Creative Cursing

    The quote below has inspired my IC cussing:

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    why for the love of Lolth's blue panties did you bother bringing a nine year old kid to a gang fight?! Your babysitting privileges are hereby revoked!
    Grim specter of noogie hangs like shroud over us all


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    Does the game you play feature a Dragon sitting on a pile of treasure, in a Dungeon?
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    You're an NPC stat block."I remember when your race was your class you damned whippersnappers"
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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel View Post
    Oh, I'm sorry, this is abuse.

    Anyway, my usual methods are the alliterative/rhyming deity + object combination ("Sweet bacon of Boccob!" "Sweet fjords of Kord!" etc.), or word substitution.

    Both methods do require a quicker mind. The thing I like about the former method is that you can make it situationally appropriate. For example, say your party is in some kind of ancient temple, and discovers the central chamber - "Sweet altars of Abaddon!" Say you're walking into the castle treasury - "Sweet topaz of Tiamat!" You can make it fit the context.
    So like a combination of Robin and Hermes Conrad?
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    If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. That you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear, and this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream. -Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 5, Scene 1

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    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    The quote below has inspired my IC cussing:
    You won an internet. Yes, you did.

    Here's my two cents;

    By...

    Mordenkainen's graying beard

    Bigby's saggy left glove

    [insert high-level NPC name]'s [whatever]
    Cool elan (no not that kind) Illithid Slayer by linkele.


    Editor/co-writer of Magicae Est Potestas, a crossover between Artemis Fowl and Undertale. Archive Of Our Own FanFiction.net DeviantArt
    We also have a TvtTropes page!


    Extended signature here.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    You won an internet. Yes, you did.

    Here's my two cents;

    By...

    Mordenkainen's graying beard

    Bigby's saggy left glove

    [insert high-level NPC name]'s [whatever]
    By Elminster's ever-wandering genitals!
    Quote Originally Posted by Koo Rehtorb View Post
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".
    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTrevor View Post
    It is always ok to start in a tavern.
    as long as the tavern is ON FIRE.
    Avatar by LoyalPaladin

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    Titan in the Playground
     
    Red Fel's Avatar

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    So like a combination of Robin and Hermes Conrad?
    More like a combination of Hermes Conrad and a generic D&D character. Who is played by Hermes Conrad.
    My headache medicine has a little "Ex" inscribed on the pill. It's not a brand name; it's an indicator that it works inside an Anti-Magic Field.

    Blue text means sarcasm. Purple text means evil. White text is invisible.

    My signature got too big for its britches. So now it's over here!

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    Spamalot in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel View Post
    Here's one of my favorite word-substitution strings:
    Classic. :D


    Quote Originally Posted by Stealth Marmot View Post
    You could always look at some quotes from Sam from Sam & Max. Dude had many expletives that weren't expletives.
    I've done some weird swearing based on the old Sam & Max Hit the Road computer game:

    Sam: "Percent sign, ampersand, dollar sign."
    Max: "And colon, semicolon too!"
    Psychic: "What are you [bleep]ing doing?"
    Sam: "Swearing in longhand, asterisk-mouth."


    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    The quote below has inspired my IC cussing:
    XD

    After we were visited by the third god due to invoking their name too many times, the party forbids me to use that phrase anymore because they don't want her showing up as number four.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GreataxeFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Bellow random words/phrases in Finnish (or any other language members of your gaming group don't speak).

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    just the name of any deity, or the name of their symbol, or of an object used in worship

    Those trying not to blaspheme might substitute a similar sounding word or phrase (ie. "by george" instead of "by jove", "sacre bleu" instead of "sacre dieu" or "sacrement", etc. in the real world.) (In game perhaps "armadillo" for "olidammara", "veluna" for ehlonna and/or vecna, "trash dump" for "tharizdun", "solar" for "pelor", "caroline" for "corellon",
    "watch fob" "corncob" or "mee krob" for "Boccob", "clavichord" for "Kord", "squirrel" for "Nerull", "cupboard" for "Cuthbert", "rescind" for "Ye'Cind", "wow" for "Rao" (possibly the expression's in-setting etymology), "teacup" or "placemat" for "Tiamat", "abattoir" for "Abbathor", "ouija" for "Wee Jas", "vegetation" "vicodin" or "percodan" for "Vergadain", "umlat" for "Ulaa", "mordant" or "mordent" for 'Moradin", "automat" or "fungo bat" for "Kurtlmak", "luck" "lol" or "cloth" for "Lolth",

    and that's without getting into gog/jebus/crikey type minced oaths with no other meaning
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2016-12-14 at 01:46 AM.
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    If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. That you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear, and this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream. -Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 5, Scene 1

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Koo Rehtorb View Post
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".
    I recommend a change to
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Name of Offensive Body Part".

    The original version is subject to ... unfortunate misinterpretation.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    There is a book series called Widdershins Adventures where the main character curses by saying things like hopping hens or figs instead of using real curse words. Also a good read i recomend it.


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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: Creative Cursing

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    I recommend a change to
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Name of Offensive Body Part".

    The original version is subject to ... unfortunate misinterpretation.
    Well...to be fair...it is creative in its own way...
    Quote Originally Posted by Koo Rehtorb View Post
    "Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".
    Quote Originally Posted by ImNotTrevor View Post
    It is always ok to start in a tavern.
    as long as the tavern is ON FIRE.
    Avatar by LoyalPaladin

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