Silliest skill/stat check results

[Mai]

The only similar topic I could find was only about diplomacy/intimidation, so... I guess i'll go to forward with this.

What are the funniest, silliest, etc. Dice rolls you have ever God relating to any skill/stat/etc.

For example I have a cat hengeyokai about to (hopefully) be in an epic game. And I have this mental image of her taking cat form, mewing, and meeting the dc for your average town gaurd or whatever. Sure her intimidation is only a +13, but hey, 12 levels of cleric can really put a hurting on your stat points. And this mental image got me curious what goofy rolls other people have done. Be it epic and awesome (to the point of silliness) or just downright weird and freaky.

So, if no one minds, what are your funny stories? Perhaps you were a gnome and rolled a may 20 on a grapple check with a bear, or whatever else, be it a hilarious success or an epic fail. (For example I was watching the d&d YouTube channel and their games and in one game, with projared, a raven shifter tried to fly stealthily up and get the location and such of a pair of hags, so the dm ruled his every wingbeat was so loud it echoed off the windmill walls.)

I don't have any myself I'm a newbie and the only game I am in really hasn't even started much, still in the meeting each other phase.

[Gizmogidget]

In a game recently where I DM'd for a couple 9 year olds, one of them who was playing a tiefling bard rolled 2 natural 20's on a disadvantaged strength check to kick down a door to save a bunch of innocents. (The bard had been hit by a hex spell earlier) The door was only DC-10 to kick down though, and the bard had a 14 strength. Now in my games if you over do something bad things can happen. As such the door starts to fly towards the hostages, and I ask the player in question to roll me a d20. The player rolls a 1, and fails to grab the door, and it crushes some old dude. Funnily enough later that session they opened up a bakery in the dude's honor and then got a cleric to cast raise dead on him.

[JBPuffin]

I think the funniest single-roll result in recent memory was the time my 5e crew got on a boat, and a storm started brewing on the horizon (actually a ghost ship's aura of menace, but I digress). My druid tries to figure out what's up and gets a total of 0 on his Nature check.

You heard me right. Natural 1, -1 Int, no training (Arctic life was more of a thing you survived than studied). He starts flailing his arms around, screaming about the end of the world as we knew it because the sky was falling on their heads in droplet form. Also, the lightning freaked him out, but that was the lesser of two panic buttons .

This was also the same sequence of events that led him to discover the power of the Giant Eagle. Good times, man...

[Trampaige]

In a game recently where I DM'd for a couple 9 year olds, one of them who was playing a tiefling bard rolled 2 natural 20's on a disadvantaged strength check to kick down a door to save a bunch of innocents. (The bard had been hit by a hex spell earlier) The door was only DC-10 to kick down though, and the bard had a 14 strength. Now in my games if you over do something bad things can happen. As such the door starts to fly towards the hostages, and I ask the player in question to roll me a d20. The player rolls a 1, and fails to grab the door, and it crushes some old dude. Funnily enough later that session they opened up a bakery in the dude's honor and then got a cleric to cast raise dead on him.

...a 9 year old rolled double 20s and you punished him by having him murder someone's grandfather.

You monster.

[JBPuffin]

...a 9 year old rolled double 20s and you punished him by having him murder someone's grandfather.

You monster.

I'd say it turned out to be a smashing success.

[KillianHawkeye]

Well, there was that one time I introduced a new side villain into an adventure I was running (he was looking for the same bad guy as the PCs but for totally different reasons) and I utterly forgot to give him any ranks in Sense Motive. So, instead of getting into a fight with my scary bad guy and his undead minions, the PCs told him that the other guy was somewhere else and my shiny new villain took off to have his revenge someplace else.......

Let's just say I don't make that mistake when writing up characters anymore.

[Mai]

I think the funniest single-roll result in recent memory was the time my 5e crew got on a boat, and a storm started brewing on the horizon (actually a ghost ship's aura of menace, but I digress). My druid tries to figure out what's up and gets a total of 0 on his Nature check.

You heard me right. Natural 1, -1 Int, no training (Arctic life was more of a thing you survived than studied). He starts flailing his arms around, screaming about the end of the world as we knew it because the sky was falling on their heads in droplet form. Also, the lightning freaked him out, but that was the lesser of two panic buttons .

This was also the same sequence of events that led him to discover the power of the Giant Eagle. Good times, man...

How??? Don't druids get a natural +2 to that? O.O

And wow... Yeah... Good to know, put ranks in sense motive.

[BWR]

Ars Magica some years ago. we were investigating a dank demon-infested cave. GM wants us to roll Awareness. For those who don't know of AM's system, you roll 1d10. On a 0, something bad usually happens, on a 1 you reroll and double the result, with 1s doubling every time you roll them. I roll something like 130. The GM says I see blood dripping from the ceiling...a whole second before everyone else notices it without having to roll. It was only atmospheric and had no mechanical effect whatsoever. With that roll I could have thrown a knife blindly into the darkness and hit and killed the demon regardless of where it was hiding, but it was wasted on literally nothing of value.

That still irks me,

[Kol Korran]

A long time ago, one player played a dwarf fighter, with the worst of luck. On nearly any "save or die" fortitude save, he rolled a 1 (With being a dwarf fighter ,and high constitution, he really only needed a 2 to succeed). He got turned to stone, died of massive damage and more...

At one point the player decided the bad lack was due to the dwarf refusing to worship any god (In the Forgotten Realms setting), so the character was cursed. He did some research, and decided to worship some dwarven god he liked. But to prove his worship, he decided to craft a holy symbol.

Problem was, we were undercover in a town subjugated and controlled by a massive enemy army. And the only forge was held by enemy soldiers. So... we disguised ourselves as some mercenaries, and bluffed about the dwarf being our smith, and paid for some time for him to work in the forge. So far, so good, yeah?

Now the dwarf had abysmal charisma, and no ranks in disguise or bluff. We decided to counter this by bluffing (successfully) that he is mute, deaf, and always grumpy and sour (Not hard to sell... ) The DM said this was a good bluff. We thought we had this in the bag!

Comes the dwarf's time to forge, and roll his bluff. Now, with the previous stories, he had quite a circumstantial modifer.
Dwarf's player, allready rolling the dice in his hand "So, what do I need to roll?"
DM: "With your story? Oh, you're cool. Just don't roll a..."
The dice landed on 1...
We all look at it, and the dwarf's player facepalms hard. "I can't believe it!"
The DM, grinning widely : "Your dwarf is caught up in the religious fervor, and start singing hymns of praise to his god, only to suddenly see the forge's soldiers and task master look at you angry, with swords drawn..."
Dwarf's player: "Ah sh*t! I'm all alone here, the others are far away right?"
DM: "Right"
Dwarf: "Then screw this! I'm doing this the DWARF way!" He raced to the door, blocking it, and then continued to single handedly kill all the guards and soldiers, with the tools he tried to forge his holy symbol with, then quickly finished to forge his holy symbol (Now drenched with the blood of his enemies), heat p the forge, and ran away (with our help by then, we were cracking up the whole time), while the forge burned down...

It seemed his god approved! His bad rolls streak ended! Well, at least for that character...

In our party, "Just don't roll a..." Is usually followed by merry religious-themed singing...

[Flemkopf]

So, I was recently DMing a one-off with a bunch of family members (we are a pack of nerds), and one of the girls is fourteen and very boy crazy. The basics of the adventure was that everyone was some sort of non-human/non-standard race, and they were taking down the evil overlord. Yes, that Evil Overlord. Did I mention that the entire party either was or leaned towards evil? So, she was playing a dryad which wasn't required to stay near a tree, and her young adult brother managed to convince her to wear a chainmail bikini (from dndwiki, where else?). The dryad was named Dulcinea, and there was some sort of enchantment attached to her where everyone who said her name had to sing it.

So, the party (comprised of a Dryad, Pixie, Giant, and some sort of undead lord) goes to negotiate a (fake) alliance with one of the overlord's lieutenants. Well Dulcinea's player, being the teenager she was, decided that it was best to lean over, grab the lieutenant by the lapels, and proceed to kiss him very firmly on the lips. Well, there weren't any obvious guards, but there were a bunch of snipers and magicians watching from above, and one of the magicians got Dulcinea with a hold person right as she was landing the kiss on him. She failed the save, and there she was, frozen stiff while holding this guy's lapels in a death grip. Cue the lieutenant's fumbling backwards away from this girl, who promptly tips over to the ground.

Pretty much all my players later failed what can best be described as an IRL will save. After some hijinks through the palace they finally get into The Overlord's private chambers, where they walk in and see...an old man reading a book to a five year old girl. The first words out of his mouth were "Must you really come right now? I'm sure you know how important it is to spend time with the grandchildren." Cue a bunch of shocked and confused looks and various comments of "We have come to kill The Evil Overlord." "If you must do that than do it. But could you please explain to my granddaughter why you must kill her dear Grandpa?" A few seconds into a jumbled explanation, the floor drops out from under the PCs into a pit of alligators, while the five year old runs away from the lever she just pulled back towards her grandpa, The Overlord. With an energetic conversation of "Grampa! Grampa! Did I do it right?" "Yes, dear. You did it perfectly," they then teleport to his stronghold, where they enjoy ice cream before the PCs showed up again. Good times.

[JBPuffin]

How??? Don't druids get a natural +2 to that? O.O

And wow... Yeah... Good to know, put ranks in sense motive.

Nope. Not in 5e.

[daniel_ream]

The dryad was named Dulcinea, and there was some sort of enchantment attached to her where everyone who said her name had to sing it.

Well, that is traditional.

[eru001]

So the party in a multiverse hopping campaign ended up at hogwarts and needed to get to the top of the castle. The completely non-magical gunslinger took one look at the moving stairs and was just done with it. He walked up to the stairs pulled his gun, pointed it at the stairs and threatened to tear them down and resculpt them into a twenty foot statue of his hindquarters if they did not hold still. The player then proceeded to roll a nat 20 on the intimidate check. The stairs held still.

[Stealth Marmot]

While playing a rather sneaky and doubletalking character with a good amount of Bluff, I said to one of the other party members "I'm a terrible liar." The DM had that character make a sense motive check. They lost by a fair amount, and the DM informed him that his character believed mine, and consequently will be suffering a -2 on Sense Motive checks against him because he now thinks he isn't a good liar.

[Quertus]

I'm sure there are crazier, but the worst I can remember off hand is repeatedly failing to notice the enormous dragon. In the middle of our camp. While I was awake.

On the positive side, I was playing a character who had befriended an NPC godling. Said NPC had been so helpful, one day I asked if there was anything I could do in return. The NPC said no, there was only one thing he really wanted. He was working on building up his skills so that he could one day join the gods.

So, of course, I asked what, exactly, that entailed. I was informed that the gods had a big telepathic network. To prove his worthiness, he had to connect to it.

Well, telepathy was my character's specialty. So of course he volunteers to see what he can do. The GM warns me that this is a potentially suicidal endeavor, but never let it be said I let a little thing like death make me bail on my friends. So I decided to start by trying to see exactly how big of a challenge this was, to just try to view this network. So I roll, crit success. To the GM's surprise, he us now explaining the divine telepathy network for my character. Seeing how it works, my character determines to give it a shot. So I roll. Now, because I explicitly bought a 1% luck / probability manipulation power, I manage to roll, well, a 101 on a d100*. Off the charts critical success. So, yeah, I figured out how to connect the godling to the divine telepathic network. **** property story pacing, he ascended right then and there. And then was no longer there to help the party.

Wait, did I say this was the good one?

* or a 0 on a d100, I don't remember if high or low was good. If the latter, yes, I rolled a zero

[Efrate]

In a 3.5 maritime campaign, my halfling scout with his neg 1 strength modifier managed to pull a 20 foot shark up onto the ship after we had killed it. The 20+ strength raging orc failed, the entire crew helping one another failed, and I go up, being so proud of my skills and maybe drunk,and proceed to roll a nat 20, vs. the dc 18 which everyone else failed to reach. I singlehandedly pulled up a huge creature to the awe of everyone else on the ship.

I proudly proclaimed myself the strongest sailor on the ship and they couldn't argue.

[lylsyly]

My very first 3.5 session, I was playing a Halfling rogue and my partner in crime was a half-orc/half-minotaur thug fighter.

We got busted on a job and ran up to the roof. It was 25 feet to the next roof, a distance my thug buddy could jump with out a problem, but my little old self ...

He picked me up and threw me (with no warning), DM said roll a strength check and he rolls the only 1 I have ever seem him roll ...

End result? SPLAAAT!

[Stealth Marmot]

My very first 3.5 session, I was playing a Halfling rogue and my partner in crime was a half-orc/half-minotaur thug fighter.

We got busted on a job and ran up to the roof. It was 25 feet to the next roof, a distance my thug buddy could jump with out a problem, but my little old self ...

He picked me up and threw me (with no warning), DM said roll a strength check and he rolls the only 1 I have ever seem him roll ...

End result? SPLAAAT!

"Ewwww it's raining halflings!"

"This early in the year?"