Magic of Sigil Prep [Spells]

[The Demented One]

Sigil Prep

Sigil Prep is an academy unlike any other. A great university at the heart of the very multiverse itself, home to the most learned of sages and erudite of scholars and...okay, so maybe more ditzy cheerleaders, thick-headed jocks, and sex-starved teens than great scholars, but close enough. In such a unique place, where the greatest of magical minds meet with the stupidest of teenage minds, it is almost inevitable that dozens of new spells will be invented, both useful and idiotic. Below is a record of some of the more popular spells to emerge from the hallowed halls of Sigil Prep...

Spell Lists

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Assassin

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3rd level
Alter Ego^F: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.

Bard

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0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change.
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar.

1st level
Booze Muse: Gain bonuses to Perform checks from ale.
Hoard Eye: Transform a coin into a magical sensor.
Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse: Create cabin stocked with booze.
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.

2nd level
Bardic Battleaxe of Booze: Turn a guitar into a magic weapon.
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.

3rd level
Sonic Screwdriver: Turn a screwdriver (the cocktail, not the tool) into a sonic grendade.

4th level
Alter Ego^F: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Days of Our One Life to Live: Trap target in a living soap opera.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.

5th level
Toon Town: Laws of comedy and cartoons replace laws of physics.

6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy.
Wave of Tequila: Downpour of tequila knocks down, and intoxicates creatures.

Cleric

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0th level
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.

1st level
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.

3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.

4th level
Alter Ego^F: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.

5th level
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.

7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.

Cleric Domains

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Clerics that attend Sigil Prep find that they are capable of accessing new and...to be honest, pretty damn weird domains. Between being on the Outlands, having the Lady of Pain as a headmistress, and being Sigil Prep, it manages to warp the nature of divine energy. It’s pretty cool. These domains are not offered by any specific god, allowing almost every cleric to take them. However, some do have alignment restrictions, noted in their descriptions. Some spells in the following domains come from the Spell Compendium. They are marked with a *.

Drug Domain

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Alignment: Only Chaotic Neutral, Neutral Evil, and Neutral Good Clerics can take the Drug domain.
Granted Power: You’re like, totally mellow, man. You gain a +3 resistance bonus on saves against effects that would alter your emotions, such as spells with the (fear) descriptor, or the rage or confusion spells.

1. Lesser Confusion: One creature is confused for 1 round.
2. Calm Emotions: Calms creatures, negating emotion effects.
3. Purple Haze: Cloud of "herbal vapors" calms emotions, imposes penalty to Intelligence and Wisdom.
4. Cone of Cannabis: Cone of marijuana smoke causes everyone to like, totally mellow out, man.
5. Memory Rot*: Spores deal 1d6 Int damage to subject, plus 1 Int drain/round.
6. Acid Rain: Rain of LSD dazes or confuses creatures.
7. Reefer Madness: Summon cannabis inside a creature’s body to render it catatonic.
8. Shroomsight: Gain effects of various divination spells...or have a really bad trip.
9. Programmed Amnesia*^M: Destroy, alter, or replace memories in subject creature.

Nerd Domain

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Granted Power: You gain a +2 competence bonus on all Knowledge checks, and can use all Knowledge skills untrained...NERD!

1. Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.
2. Fox’s Cunning: Subject gains +4 Int for 1 min./level.
3. Algebra Blast: Cone of algebra deals math damage.
4. Wall of Algebra: Create polygon-shaped wall of crystallized mathematical energy.
5. Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.
6. Legend Lore^{M F}: Lets you learn tales about a person, place, or thing.
7. Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.
8. Summon Character Sheet: Summon a piece of paper describing a person completely.
9. Army of Calculus: Summon multiple Math Elementals

Party Domain

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Granted Power: You’re always the life of the party. You can expend a use of turn or rebuke undead to inspire courage, using your Cleric level in place of Bard levels to determine the bonus.

1. Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
2. Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
3. Good Hope: Subjects gain +2 on attack rolls, damage rolls, saves, and checks.
4. Illusory Feast*: Subjects become dazed by illusory food.
5. Power Word: Party!: Word of power compels creatures with less than 50 hp to dance.
6. Heroes’ Feast: Food for one creature/level cures and grants combat bonuses.
7. Mage’s Magnificent Mansion^F: Door leads to extradimensional mansion.
8. Irresistible Dance: Forces subject to dance.
9. Call to the Rave: Summon partygoing fey.

Druid

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0th level
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.

3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Purple Haze: Cloud of "herbal vapors" calms emotions, imposes penalty to Intelligence and Wisdom.

4th level
Cone of Cannabis: Cone of cannabis smoke causes everyone to like, totally mellow out, man.
Filthy Hippy Hair: Turn your hair into animated tentacles that can attack and grapple.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.

5th level
Acid Rain: Rain of LSD dazes or confuses creatures.
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.
Stampede of Rabid Sheep: Summon a herd of enraged Dire Sheep.

7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.
Reefer Madness: Summon cannabis inside a creature’s body to render it catatonic.

8th level
Shroomsight: Gain effects of various divination spells...or have a really bad trip.

9th level
Call to the Rave: Summon partygoing fey.

Duskblade

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1st level
Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.

2nd level
Bigby's Shanking Hand: Hand of force pulls down enemies' pants.

3rd level
Alter Ego^F: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Bigby's Obscene Finger: Hand of force infuriates enemies.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.

Hexblade

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1st level
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.

3rd level
Alter Ego^F: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.

5th level
Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.

Paladin

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1st level
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.

2nd level
Weapon of Smugness: Imbue a weapon with your own smug self-righteousness.

3rd level
Alter Ego^F: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.

Ranger

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3rd level
Alter Ego^F: Take on another identity, gaining bonuses to abilities and skills, as well as additional class features.
Rugged Manliness: Channel your inner masculinity for bonuses to physical stats, Survival checks. Males only.

Shujenja

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0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change. (Earth only)
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes. (Air only)
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar. (Fire only)
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water. (Water only)

2nd level
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet. (Earth only)

3rd level
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine. (Water only)

4th level
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)

7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods. (Water only)

Sorcerer/Wizard

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0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change.
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Insistent Reminder: Written reminder pops up when it's important.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar.
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water.

1st level
Cram Session: Summon notes that grant +10 bonus on Knowledge checks on one topic.
Grasp of Algebra: Touch attack deals math damage.
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.
Togafy: Transform clothing into togas. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.

2nd level
Bigby's Shanking Hand: Hand of force pulls down enemies' pants.
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Hoard Eye: Transform a coin into a magical sensor.
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet.
Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse: Create cabin stocked with booze.
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime.

3rd level
Algebra Blast: Cone of algebra deals math damage.
Bigby's Obscene Finger: Hand of force infuriates enemies.
Coffee of Celerity: Summon coffee charged with elemental caffeine.
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
Sonic Screwdriver: Turn a screwdriver (the cocktail, not the tool) into a sonic grendade.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.
Wet Willie of the Damned: Infernal wet willie deals 1d6 damage/level, gives penalty to mental ability scores.

4th level
Wall of Algebra: Create polygon-shaped wall of crystallized mathematical energy.
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime.

5th level
Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.
Power Word: Party!: Word of power compels creatures with less than 50 hp to dance.

6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy.
Sneeze of Doom: Spread disease within a 60-ft. cone of mucus.

7th level
Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness: Summon coffee of the gods.
Ray of Calculus: Fire a beam of pure mathematics.
Wave of Tequila: Downpour of tequila knocks down, and intoxicates creatures.

8th level
Summon Character Sheet: Summon a piece of paper describing a person completely.

9th level
Army of Calculus: Summon multiple Math Elementals

Wu Jen

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0th level
Free Lunch: Conjure up spare change. (Metal only)
Gaydar: Discern creatures' sexual orientation and fetishes.
Light My Fire: Ignite a cigarette or cigar. (Fire only)
Water Trap: Opened item drenches opener with water. (Water only)

1st level
Phantasmal Streaker: Create an illusory, naked double of yourself.
Protection from Men: Ward subject against attack and mental control by male creatures.
Protection from Women: Ward subject against attack and mental control by female creatures.
Psychic Paper: Convince target to see what you want them to see on a sheet of paper.
Spite: Turn two creatures hostile towards each other.

2nd level
Dimension Strip: Teleport away a creature’s clothes.
Insant Pitfall: Create a hole in the ground beneath your enemies' feet. (Earth only)
Slimeball: Summon a projectile of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)

3rd level
Magic Circle against Men: Magical circle wards against or traps male creatures.
Magic Circle against Women: Magical circle wards against or traps female creatures.
Viral Gossip: Spread rumors about a person.

4th level
Wall of Slime: Create a wall of slippery, smelly slime. (Water only)

5th level
Common Courtesy: Counter others' spells, unless they ask permission.

6th level
Powder Keg: Infuse a keg of ale with explosive energy. (Fire only)

Spells

Acid Rain
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Drd 5, Drug 5
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Long (400 ft.+ 40 ft./level)
Area: Cylinder (60 ft. radius, 30 ft. high)
Duration: 1 round/2 levels
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: No

Sigil Prep Druids have finally figured out a way to combine their love of nature-based magic and their love of bombarding their brains with psychogenic chemicals. The acid rain spell causes acid (the “hey, let’s go listen to Pink Floyd” kind, not the “OH GOD MY FACE IS MELTING!” kind) to rain from the skies. Each round, all creatures within the area of the acid rain must make a Fortitude save or be struck with hallucination. If they fail, there is a 50% chance they are dazed that round, as they sit and stare at the pretty colors, and a 50% chance that they are instead confused, zonked out of their little minds.

Algebra Blast
Evocation [Math]
Level: Nerd 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will half
Spell Resistance: Yes

No one’s exactly sure how it works, but a couple of the nerdier Sigil Prep guys have worked out a way to channel the power of mathematics into a bizarre kind of elemental energy. Algebra blast lets you use this energy, sending out a cone of elemental mathematics that deals 5d4 + X math damage, where X is equal to one quarter the square of your caster level, max +25.

Focus:
A slide rule.

Alter Ego
Illusion and Transmutation (Glamer)
Level: Asn 3, Brd 4, Clr 4, Dusk 4, Hex 3, Pal 3, Rgr 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 10 minutes/level

It seems like half of Sigil Prep has an alter ego. From changelings leading double, triple, or quadruple lives to the handful of masked vigilantes, everyone has use of a secret identity. The alter ego spell makes this possible. Upon casting this spell, you take on the illusionary form of your alter ego, similar to the disguise self spell. This does not allow you to disguise yourself as another person–the form you take on is completely original, invented by you. In addition, you gain a +4 enhancement bonus to the ability score of your choice, and gain a competence bonus equal to your caster level, max +10, to any two skills of your choice, as long as both skills are modified by the ability score you chose to grant the enhancement bonus to. Finally, you gain a single extraordinary class feature of any class, as long as it is a class feature that is granted at 5th level or below.

Focus
A silver mask polished to a mirror sheen, worth 50 gp.

Army of Calculus
Conjuration (Summoning) [Math]
Level: Nerd 9, Sor/Wiz 9

The ultimate piece of mathemagic, army of calculus functions as the elemental swarm spell, except that it summons Math Elementals.

Bardic Battleaxe of Booze
Transmutation
Level: Brd 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Target: 1 guitar touched
Duration: 1 round/level

When worst comes to worst at a concert, you may just have to beat the hell out of someone with your guitar. This spell turns a guitar into a powerful weapon. For the duration of the spell, it is treated as a +1 battleaxe. You are automatically proficient with it, and takes no penalties from using an improvised weapon.

Material Component:
A mug of ale, poured on the guitar.

Bigby’s Obscene Finger
Evocation [Force]
Level: Dusk 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Magical hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes

One of Bigby’s adolescent creations, created during his tenure as a Sigil Prep student, this spell has since entered the spellbooks of many a young student. This spell creates a floating, Medium-size hand of force that immediately begins giving a rude gesture to all enemies. Any enemy that sees the hand must make a Will save or be forced to attack the hand in preference to you or your allies. It does not have to attack the hand, but it may not attack you or your allies until the hand is destroyed or its duration runs out.

The hand never provokes attacks of opportunity from opponents. The hand takes damage as a normal creature, but most magical effects that don’t cause damage do not affect it. The hand has an AC of 15 and 2 hp per caster level. The hand uses your saving throw bonuses when making saves. As a move action, you may move the hand 10 ft. The disintegrate spell or a successful dispel magic spell destroys it.

Focus
A leather glove, with all but the middle finger cut out.

Bigby’s Shanking Hand
Evocation [Force]
Level: Dusk 2, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Magical hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

Sister to Bigby’s obscene finger, this spell is among the ultimate forms of arcane humiliation. The spell creates a floating, Medium-sized hand of force that appears anywhere within range of the spell. When you cast the spell, you must designate a single creature for the hand to target. The hand relentlessly attempts to shank the designated creature, dragging down its pants. To shank a creature, the hand must first make a touch attack. The hand has a base attack bonus equal to your own, and a Dexterity score of 20. If the touch attack is successful, the hand and the creature then make opposed Strength checks. The hand’s Strength score is 20. A creature wearing a belt receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Strength checks to avoid being shanked, and a creature not wearing pants cannot be shanked.

A shanked creature takes a -10 ft. penalty to its base land speed, and takes a -2 penalty on all Balance, Climb, Hide, Jump, Move Silently, Ride, Swim, and Tumble checks. A shanked creature may pull its pants up as a move action.

The hand never provokes attacks of opportunity from opponents. The hand takes damage as a normal creature, but most magical effects that don’t cause damage do not affect it. The hand has an AC of 15 and 2 hp per caster level. The hand uses your saving throw bonuses when making saves. As a move action, you may move the hand 10 ft, or change the creature targeted by its shanking attempts. The disintegrate spell or a successful dispel magic spell destroys it.

Focus
A leather glove and a pair of boxers

Booze Muse
Enchantment
Level: Brd 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 min./level (D)

Odds are, if you’re a Bard, and you go to Sigil Prep, you’re probably drunk. Why not take advantage of this? After casting this spell, you gain a +10 morale bonus on all Perform checks. The enhancement bonus increases to +20 at caster level 5th, and to +30 (the maximum) at caster level 9th.

Material Component
A mug of ale, consumed during the casting of the spell

Call to the Rave
Conjuration (Summoning)
Level: Druid 9, Party 9
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Multiple summoned fey, no two of which can be more than 30 ft. apart
Duration: 10 min./level (D)

When you need a few more people for your party, just send out a call to the rave, and summon a legion of fey ready to party - or fight, it you need them to do that, but why would you? As soon as you complete this spell, 2d4 Satyrs, without pipes, are summoned. Ten minutes later, 1d8 Pixies are summoned. Ten minutes after that, 1d3 Nymphs appear. Each creature has maximum hit points for each HD.

The fey obey you explicitly and never attack you, even if someone else gains control over them. You do not need to concentrate to maintain control over them. You can dismiss them one at a time or in groups.

Coffee of Celerity
Conjuration and Transmutation (Creation)
Level: Clr 3, Drd 3, Shu 3 (Water), Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Summoned coffee
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 round/level or until discharged

Not everyone at Sigil Prep is a binge-drinking alcoholic. The more studious students tend to be binge-drinking caffeine fiends, and this spell is just right for them. It summons a delicious cup of coffee. However, in addition to being delicious, the coffee is charged with raw, elemental caffeine. Anyone who drinks the coffee of celerity gains a +30 caffeine bonus to all of their movement speeds, and gains a +1 caffeine bonus on all Reflex saves and Initiative checks. In addition, the drinker may discharge the effects of the coffee of celerity to take a single extra move action, but if they do, they are dazed until the end of their next turn after taking it. However, the coffee of celerity must be drunk while hot in order to gain the benefits. It remains hot for 10 minutes, and then becomes cool, losing its elemental potency, though not its flavor. Finally, anyone who drinks a cup of coffee of celerity, whether hot or cool, does not need to sleep for 24 hours, though they must still rest to recover spells.

Material Component
A handful of coffee beans mixed with ground licorice roots.

Coffee of Cosmic Awesomeness
Conjuration and Transmutation (Creation)
Level: Clr 7, Drd 7, Shu 7 (Water), Sor/Wiz 7
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 minute/level or until discharged

Sometimes, even coffee of celerity isn’t enough. That’s when you need to call in the big guns. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness summons a cup of coffee infused with the cosmic essence of the divine coffee drunk by the gods themselves. The effects of drinking a cup of coffee of cosmic awesomeness are like those of coffee of celerity, but more so. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness grants a +50 caffeine bonus to all movement forms, and a +5 caffeine bonus to Reflex saves and initiative checks. The drinker of a cup of coffee of cosmic awesomeness may make two extra attacks whenever he makes a full attack. Discharging the effects of coffee of cosmic awesomeness allows the drinker to accelerate to the point where time seems to slow down, as the spell time stop, for 1 round. Coffee of cosmic awesomeness makes its drinker immune to fatigue and exhaustion, and they do not need to sleep for a week, even if they drink it after it has cooled.

Common Courtesy
Abjuration
Level: Nerd 5, Sor/Wiz 5, Wu Jen 5
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 minute/level or until discharged

Not everyone at Sigil Prep is a mannerless slob. Some are very, very insistent on enforcing common courtesy. While under the effects of this spell, any character within 10 ft./level of you that casts a spell must first ask your permission to cast it. When a caster comes within range of you, he receives a mental ping alerting him to this. If he fails to, you may immediately make an opposed caster level check with him. If you succeed, then that spell is countered. If a character asks permission, and you deny it, you may also make an opposed caster level check to counter the spell, but doing so discharges common courtesy.

Cone of Cannabis
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Drd 4, Drug 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: No

Woah, man. It’s all about the cosmic energy, y’know? I mean, the cone of cannabis spell, it like, sends out a big cone of smoke, the kind you get from burning those little weeds, man. Anyway, all creatures in the cone that fail their save, like, totally mellow out, as the calm emotions spell. Yeah, they also get more in touch with nature, y’know, and take 1d10 points of Intelligence and Wisdom damage.

Cram Session
Conjuration and Divination (Creation)
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Summoned notes.
Duration: Instantaneous

Who needs to study, when you can just whip up a magical cram session? When you cast this spell, you must choose a specific topic (for example, not dragons, or even red dragons–but “that dragon over there” would be a valid topic). The cram session spell summons notes relating to that topic. By looking over them, you gain a +10 competence bonus on any Knowledge checks made about that specific topic. In addition, you can make untrained Knowledge checks about that topic, although the bonus to the check is halved if you do so. The bonus increases to +20 at 5th level, and to +30 at 9th level. Note that using the cram session spell during a test is cheating, and most professors are rather quick to “dispose of” anyone they catch using it.

Days of Our One Life to Live
Transmutation
Level: Brd 4
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature
Duration: 24 hours
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

No one wants to even think about this spell. With it, you can turn some poor fool’s life into a living soap opera for 24 hours (funnily enough, no one at Sigil Prep, not even the Bard who came up with this spell, knows what a “soap opera” is. One of the professors said something about “interplanar memetic transference through dimensional breeches in the fourth wall,” and that sounds about right). Events in the target’s life just become generally more dramatic, and things like identical twins, amnesia, torrid love affairs, comas, and so on become far, far more common. The DM has free reign over the exact effects of this spell, and is advised to make the target’s life just as miserable as any other soap.

Dimension Strip
Conjuration (Teleportation)
Level: Brd 2, Party 2, Sor/Wiz 2, Wu Jen 2
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

Of all the teleportation spells in the multiverse, dimension strip is the single most used one on Sigil Prep’s campus. If the target fails its save, then all of its clothing, armor, and items are teleported 10 ft. away from them in a randomly chosen direction, leaving them rather naked. It’s always advisable to cast protection from women before using this spell.

Filthy Hippy Hair
Transmutation
Level: Drd 4
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 round/level

Filthy hippies and their filthy long hair...it wouldn’t be such a problem if it weren’t for this spell. When you cast filthy hippy hair, your hair extends and animates, becoming a filthy mass of hair-tentacles that are enough to stock a Japanese schoolgirl’s nightmares for weeks. You gain one tentacle attack/3 levels, max 4 tentacles. The tentacle attacks deal 1d4 damage if you are of Medium size, 1d3 damage if you are of Small size, and so on. Each tentacle’s reach is equal to your natural reach plus 5 ft. In addition, whenever you hit a foe of your own size or smaller with a tentacle attack, you can attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If you win the grapple check, you establish a hold. You cannot cast this spell if you have no hair.

Free Lunch
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Brd 0, Shu 0 (Earth), Sor/Wiz 0, Wu Jen 0 (Metal)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Created coins
Duration: Instantaneous

Sometimes, making ends meet is hard when you’re a student. This spell will help you scrape by. Upon the completion of this spell, three copper pieces appear in your hand. They are completely normal, except for a aura of faint conjuration. The merest mention of this spell has been known to drive Economics majors into a blind rage; please don’t taunt them.

Gaydar
Divination
Level: Brd 0, Clr 0, Drd 0, Shu 0 (Air), Sor/Wiz 0, Wu Jen 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped emanation
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

Few realize how useful this spell is to a successful love life at Sigil Prep. By studying creatures within the area of the gaydar spell, you can determine details about the creature’s sexual orientation and tendencies. The amount of detail revealed depends on how long you study each creature:

1st round
Determine the sexual orientation of each creature within the area of this spell as either asexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, or pansexual. Note that this spell reveals what the subject believes his orientation to be, rather than the actual orientation–for example, a gay man who has not yet come to terms with his homosexuality would register as being straight.

2nd round
General nature of each creature’s sexual kinks and fetishes.

3rd round
Specifics of each creature’s sexual kinks and fetishes.

Grasp of Algebra
Evocation [Math]
Level: Dusk 1, Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes

Hard to take seriously as it is, having a basic grasp of algebra can pack a wallop. As you cast this spell, you must make a touch attack against your target. If your attack is successful, the target takes 1d4+X math damage, where X is the square of your caster level, max 1d4+25.

Hoard Eye
Divination (Scrying)
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, M, F
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: 150 ft./level
Duration: 1 hour/level

This neat spell is always useful if you’re worried about someone pinching your stuff. It turns a single coin into a magical sensor, that you can see through as if it were one of your own eyes. You can see everything within 30 ft. of the coin, as the scrying spell, although you can only look in one direction at a time. You can switch between your own perspective and that of the coin as a swift action. You can only see through the coin if it is within range of the spell.

Material Components
A paste made from rare truffles mixed with gold dust, worth 25 gp.

Focus
A coin made of any kind of metal.

Insistent Reminder
Transmutation
Level: Sorc/Wiz 0
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Paper touched
Duration: Permanent
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

When you go to Sigil Prep, it helps to have somewhere where you can write everything down. Between homework, dating, partying, and slaying the unearthly abominations that crashed your kegger, it gets hard remembering everything. The insistent reminder spell makes sure you don’t forget. This spell inscribes a single reminder, no longer than 2 words/level, on a sheet of paper. Whenever the information stored in the reminder becomes critical for you to recall, the reminder levitates in front of your face, as long as it remains in your possession.

Instant Pitfall
Transmutation
Level: Shu 2 (Earth), Sor/Wiz 2, Wu Jen 2 (Earth)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One 5 ft. square
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: No

A classic in Prank Wars, the instant pitfall spell disintegrates a section of the floor or ground beneath your feet, creating a pitfall within one 5 ft. square. Floors made up of most substances–wood, stone, dirt, even iron–can be disintegrated, though floors made up of tougher or rarer substances, such as adamantine, cannot be affected.

The pitfall is up to 10 ft./level deep, max 50 ft.; however, it is never so deep as to go straight through the floor without having a bottom. Any Medium or smaller creature standing in the square when you cast the spell may attempt a Reflex save to move into any adjacent square. If he fails the save, he instead falls into the pitfall, taking falling damage as normal. Any Medium or smaller creature that moves into the square must also save or fall.

A fallen creature can climb out with a DC 15 Climb check. Large and larger creatures are not affected by the pitfall. Note that using this spell indoors does tend to anger whoever might own the building you’re casting it in.

Leomund's Well-Stocked Alehouse
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M

Despite all the magical achievements of the great mage Leomund, none is remembered better by the students of Sigil Prep than this spell, created during Leomund’s wild years at Sigil Prep.It functions as Leomund's secure shelter, except as above and that the building created is neither protected by arcane lock nor alarm, and is not staffed by unseen servants. It is, however, stocked with five kegs of ale. The ale reverts to lukewarm water if removed from the instant alehouse.

Material Component:
A mug full of ale. The ale created by the spell is of the some kind the mug is filled with.

Light My Fire
Evocation (Fire)
Level: Bard 0, Shu 0 (Fire), Sorcerer/Wizard 0, Wu Jen 0 (Fire)
Components: S
Casting Time: 1 swift action
Range: Touch
Target: Cigar, pipe, or similar item touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

With just a snap of your fingers, you can set yourself on the way to lung-cancer inducing goodness. This spell immediately lights a single cigar, pipe, or similar smokeable item. The heat it produces is not enough to deal any damage.

Magic Circle against Men
Abjuration
Level: Clr 3, Pal 3, Sor/Wiz 3, Wu Jen 3
Components: V, S, DF, Gender

Sometimes guys just can’t take a hint. That’s why this doozy was invented. This spell functions like magic circle against evil, except that it provides defenses similar to protection from men, and it can imprison a male called creature. (To determine the gender of a called creature, roll 1d2–1 is male, 2 is female, unless the creature is specifically always a member of one gender or another.)

Gender Component:
You must be female to cast this spell.

Magic Circle against Women
Abjuration
Level: Clr 3, Pal 3, Sor/Wiz 3, Wu Jen 3
Components: V, S, DF, Gender

Sometimes guys just can’t take a hint. That’s why this doozy was invented. This spell functions like magic circle against evil, except that it provides defenses similar to protection from women, and it can imprison a female called creature. (To determine the gender of a called creature, roll 1d2–1 is male, 2 is female, unless the creature is specifically always a member of one gender or another.)

Gender Component:
You must be male to cast this spell.

[The Demented One]

Phantasmal Streaker
Illusion (Figment)
Level: Brd 1, Hex 1, Sor/Wiz 1, Wu Jen 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Illusory double
Duration: Concentration, max 1 minute/level
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: No

There’s no better distraction than a naked guy running around. Why go to the bother of getting cold yourself when there’s the phantasmal streaker spell? You create an illusory duplicate of yourself. It is an exact resemblance of you, except that it is completely lacking in clothing. As a move action, you may move the figment up to 10 ft./level. The figment has AC equal to 10 + your size modifier + your Dexterity modifier. If the figment is successfully damaged, then it dissipates, ending the spell’s duration.

In addition, when you cast this spell, you may choose to make your double either extraordinarily attractive or extraordinarily repulsive. If you choose to make it attractive, then the first time any creature of the same type as you that is attracted to members of your gender sees the figment, it must make a Will save or be fascinated for 1d4 rounds. If you choose to make it repulsive, then the first time any creature sees the figment, it must make a Fortitude save or be sickened for 1d4 rounds.

Powder Keg
Evocation [Fire]
Level: Brd 6, Sor/Wiz 6, Wu Jen 6 (Fire)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Targets: Touched keg of ale
Duration: 10 min./level or until triggered
Saving Throw: Reflex half and Fort partial
Spell Resistance: Yes

No good student of Sigil Prep’s world-renowned College of Arcane Knowledge should be without the ability to blow stuff to high hell, regardless of what situation he finds himself in. The powder keg spell imbues a keg of ale with the force of elemental fire, causing it to explode when trigger. When the caster casts this spell, he chooses one of three triggers: The keg can explode upon being touched, upon being tapped for ale, or upon the caster's verbal command, as long as the caster is within 200 ft of the keg. When the keg is triggered, it explodes, dealing 1d6 points of fire damage, max 20d6, to all creatures within 10 ft./level of the keg, Reflex half. In addition, the explosion vaporizes the ale, adding intoxication to injury. All creatures caught in the explosion that fail a Fortitude save are nauseated for 1d4 rounds.

Power Word: Party!
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Party 5, Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature with 50 hp or less/level
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes

You utter a word of power that causes weaker creatures to be caught by an insatiable urge to party. Each affected creature is affected as by the calm emotions spell and begins dancing uncontrollably, as the irresistible dance spell. However, if any of the affected creatures are attacked, then the duration of this spell immediately ends.

Protection from Men
Abjuration
Level: Clr 1, Pal 1, Sor/Wiz 1, Wu Jen 1
Components: V, S, DF, Gender

For when the war of the sexes gets bloody. This spell functions like protection from evil, except that the deflection and resistance bonuses apply to attacks from male creatures, and male summoned creatures cannot touch the subject. (To determine the gender of a summoned creature, roll 1d2–1 is male, 2 is female, unless the creature is specifically always a member of one gender or another.)

Gender Component:
You must be female to cast this spell.

Protection from Women
Abjuration
Level: Clr 1, Pal 1, Sor/Wiz 1, Wu Jen 1
Components: V, S, DF, Gender

You might laugh, but Sigil Prep chicks can be brutal. This spell functions like protection from evil, except that the deflection and resistance bonuses apply to attacks from female creatures, and male summoned creatures cannot touch the subject. (To determine the gender of a summoned creature, roll 1d2–1 is male, 2 is female, unless the creature is specifically always a member of one gender or another.)

Gender Component:
You must be male to cast this spell.

Psychic Paper
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Language-Dependant, Mind-Affecting]
Level: Brd 1, Hex 1, Sor/Wiz 1, Wu Jen 1
Components: V, F
Casting Time: 1 swift action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./level)
Target: One creature
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

A Sigil Prep classic, the psychic paper spell can do everything from faking an ID to convincing your professor you did your homework. It works by convincing the target to see whatever you tell him to see written on the paper used as the spell’s focus. As you cast the spell, you must verbally suggest to the target what you want him to see . If they fail their save, then their perceptions are fooled, and they see what you want them to see. The image is not illusionary, but rather, created by the targets’s own subconscious expectations. Thus, if you use this spell to convince your professor you did your homework, he would see the kind of work he normally expects from you. Although psychic paper is not an illusion spell, a true seeing spell will overcome it.

Focus
A piece or sheet of blank paper.

Purple Haze
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Drd 3, Drug 3
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Cloud spreads in 20-ft. radius, 20 ft. high
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates; see text
Spell Resistance: No

The purple haze spell creates a cloud of “herbal vapors”, derived from the favorite weed of Sigil Prep’s druids. All creatures that are within the cloud when it first forms must make a Fortitude save or take a -4 penalty to Intelligence and Wisdom, as well as being reduced to a calm, relaxed state, as the calm emotions spell, for as long as they remain in the cloud and for 1d4+1 rounds after they leave the cloud. Any creature that succeeds on its save but remains in the cloud must continue to save each round on your turn.

Ray of Calculus
Evocation [Math]
Level: Dusk 5, Nerd 7, Sor/Wiz 7
Components: V, S
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Ray
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will half
Spell Resistance: Yes

The ultimate revenge of the nerds. You fire off a beam of pure mathematical energy, requiring a ranged touch attack to hit your target. If the attack is successful, the ray deals 10d4+X math damage, where X equals twice your caster level, max 10d4+40.

Reefer Madness
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Druid 7, Drug 7
Components: V, S
Range: Close (25 ft + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One living creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial
Spell Resistance: No

Sigil Prep Druids don’t take kindly to being interrupted while they’re “communing with nature.” Unlucky students who piss off the upperclassmen Druids may find themselves getting hit with some reefer madness. The spell creates a massive amount of cannabis inside the targets body, rendering them catatonic. If the target fails its save, it takes enough Intelligence and Wisdom damage to bring both scores to 0, putting it in a temporary coma. Even if it saves, it still takes 2d10 points of Intelligence and Wisdom damage.

Rugged Manliness
Transmutation
Level: Rgr 3
Components: V, S, Gender
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 10 minutes/level

Rangers. It doesn’t get any manlier than that. This spell taps your inner manliness, bolstering your masculinity. You gain a +2 manliness bonus to all your physical stats, and gain a +4 manliness bonus on all Survival checks.

Gender Component
You must be male to cast this spell. Sorry, ladies.

Shroomsight
Divination
Level: Drd 8, Drug 8
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 10 minutes/level

With a handful of mushrooms and a bit of magic, Druids can see a higher plane of existence, beyond time and space...or give themself a really, really bad trip. The effects of this spell are determined by rolling 1d100. On a roll of 90-100, you get it good, gaining the benefits of the foresight and true seeing spells for the duration of this spell. On a roll of 70-89, you’re still going strong. You gain the benefits of the true seeing and moment of prescience spells. On a roll of 30-69, you just gain plain old true seeing for the duration of the spell. However, on a roll of 1-29, you end up in a bad way. You take 1d10 points of Intelligence and Wisdom damage, and are confused for the duration of the spell. Bummer.

Material Component
A handful of hallucinogenic mushrooms worth a total of 250 gp.

Slimeball
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Brd 2, Sor/Wiz 2, Wu Jen 2 (Water)
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Effect: Ball of slime
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1d6 rounds
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: No

A perennial favorite in the numerous Prank Wars that ravage the dorms of Sigil Prep, the slimeball spell conjures up a sphere of slippery, odorous slime, and then launches it at one unfortunate victim, requiring a ranged touch attack to hit. If the attack is successful, you cover your target in slick slime. Each round, he must make a Reflex save or slip, falling prone. In addition, the slick slime coating his hands makes holding items difficult. When hit by the slimeball, the target must make a Reflex save for each item he is holding, or drop it at his feet. If he tries to pick up an item while covered in slime, he must make another save or drop it. Finally, upon being hit by the slimeball, the target must make a Fortitude save or be overcome by the slime’s stench, becoming nauseated for as long as the slime covers him. After 1d6 rounds, the slime diffuses into nothing more than dirty water. However, as a full round action, the target of this spell can wash himself off with water, which also removes the slime.

Material Component
A flask of dirty water, with a drop of grease mixed in.

Sneeze of Doom
Necromancy [Evil]
Level: Clr 5, Drd 5, Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

A nefariously icky spell, this spell allows you to breathe–or rather, sneeze–out a blast of filth-ridden mucus. Each creature caught in the area of the sneeze of doom must save or contract a disease of your choice, chosen from the list of diseases for the contagion spell, which strikes immediately, with no incubation period. In addition, the save DC for subsequent saves against the disease is increased by 2.

Material Component
A handkerchief covered with Otyugh slime and rat bile.

Sonic Screwdriver
Evocation
Level: Brd 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: 30 ft.-radius burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude half
Spell Resistance: Yes

Nothing goes together like alcohol, sonic damage, and British science fiction. With this spell, you infuse a screwdriver (the “mm, vodka and orange juice” kind, not the “I don’t think so, Tim” kind) with sonic energy, and lob it at your foes. You aim, not at a creature, but at a single square. You must make a ranged touch attack against AC 20 to hit the square you selected. If you fail the attack roll, the spell still works, but the screwdriver instead hits a randomly chosen square adjacent to the square you targeted. When the screwdriver impacts, it deals 1d8 sonic damage/level to all creatures in the square it hit, 1d6 sonic damage/level to all creatures in squares adjacent to the square it hit, and 1d4 sonic damage/level to all other creatures in the area of the spell. It can deal a maximum of 10 damage dice of damage, regardless of the size of the damage dice.

Material Component
A cocktail of vodka and orange.

Spite
Enchantment (Charm) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Brd 1, Hex 1, Sor/Wiz 1, Wu Jen 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: Two creatures, no further than 30 ft. apart
Duration: 1 hour/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

Also known as the “break up curse”, the spite spell turns two creatures against each other. Each creature that fails its save has its attitude toward the other target change to hostile for the duration of the spell. After the duration of the spell ends, the two may reconcile, but unless they realize that they had been enchanted, the damage caused by this spell may be permanent.

Stampede of Rabid Sheep
Conjuration (Summoning)
Level: Drd 5
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 full round action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Rabid dire sheep, no two of which can be more than 30 ft. apart.
Duration: 1 round/level

You summon 1 rabid Dire Sheep/level. (see below). These are treated like normal Dire Sheep, but they are constantly enraged, as the rage spell, which is factored into the stat block below. They appear where you designate and act immediately, on your turn. They attack your opponents to the best of their ability. If you can communicate with animals, such as by the speak with animals spell, you can direct them not to attack, to attack particular enemies, or to perform other actions.

Rabid Dire Sheep

Spoiler

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Large Animal
Hit Dice: 5d8+15 (38 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (+6 natural, -2 rage)
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+12
Attack: Bite +8 melee (1d4+7)
Full Attack: Bite +8 melee (1d4+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Trample
Special Qualities: Low-light vision
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 11, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 8, Cha 8
Skills: Jump +10, Listen +5, Spot +1
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Temperate plains
Challenge Rating: 3
Alignment: Always True Neutral

Stampede (Ex)
A frightened flock of Dire Sheep flees as a group in a random direction (but always away from the perceived source of danger). They literally run over anything of Large size or smaller that gets in their way, dealing 1d12 points of damage for each five Dire Sheep in the flock (Reflex DC 20 for half). The save DC is Strength-based.

Summon Character Sheet
Conjuration and Divination (Creation)
Level: Nerd 8, Sor/Wiz 8
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 4 hours
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Summoned character sheet
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes (see text)

Know your enemy. This spell summons up a sheet of paper that describes a person or creature named by you. The sheet details that character’s mental and physical attributes on a seemingly arbitrary numerical scale, as well as his proficiency at various skills, and aptitude at combat. It lists some of the more unique talents possessed by the character, each with a name and short description, like “power attack” or “evasion.” It also lists all spells that character has prepared or known, all of his significant possessions, all languages he speak, and a brief description of his personal history. You must be on the same plane as the character whose sheet you summon. They may make a Will save to negate this spell, and you must overcome their spell resistance to summon the sheet. Some speak of this spell causing damage to some kind of interplanar barrier known as the “Fourth Wall,” but they’re probably just making it up.

Togafy
Transmutation
Level: Brd 1, Party 1, Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 30 ft.
Area: 30 ft.-radius burst, centered on you
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates (object)
Spell Resistance: Yes (object)

Essential to any good party, the togafy spell transmutes all clothing within its area into togas, good for any frat party. The quality of the clothing determines the quality of the toga it is turned into–a set of ratty street clothes might be turned into a soiled bedsheet, whereas a fancy evening gown would be turned into an elegant, hand-woven toga. Magical clothing transformed into a toga retains all of its magical properties.

Focus
A toga, worn by you.

Toon Town
Transmutation
Level: Brd 5
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 full round action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: 60 ft. emanation, centered on you
Duration: 1 round/level

A very odd spell, but a useful one for Prank Wars. Everything within the range of a toon town spells seems a bit more...cartoonish. The normal laws of physics are replaced by laws of comedic timing and classic, albeit slightly fourth-wall breaking, cartoon tropes, as adjudicated by the DM. This has some unusual effects on combat. All damage dealt to someone with the range of a toon town spell is halved, and becomes nonlethal damage. However, even if they’re not fully damaged by an attack, they may suffer embarrassing, cartoonish consequences, as determined by the DM. Spells and effects that cause ability damage, ability drain, or negative levels, as well as spells with the death descriptor, work in the range of a toon town spell.

Material Components
Miniature models of an anvil, a stick of dynamite, and a wooden mallet.

Viral Gossip
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Brd 2, Sor/Wiz 3, Wu Jen 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 60 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: 1 day/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

This is a nasty, nasty spell to lay on someone. When you cast viral gossip, think of a person you know, and make up a rumor about him–nothing longer than a sentence. This spell only affects people that know, at least in passing, the chosen person. All such people in the range of this spell must make a Will save, or believe that your rumor is true, and something they’ve known for ages. Even worse, it spreads. Whenever someone who knows the chosen person comes within 5 ft. of a character affected by this spell, they too must make a Will save–although with a +2 bonus–or be affected themselves. Rumors can spread all over Sigil Prep in a matter of hours this way.

Wall of Algebra
Evocation [Math]
Level: Nerd 4, Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Polygon of mathematical energy, with sides of one 5-ft. square/level
Duration: 1 min./level
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No

You channel the power of pure mathematics to create multiple vertical walls of crystallized algebraic energy that intersect to form a polygonal shape. You can create walls arranged into equilateral triangles, squares, or hexagons. The polygon must be firmly anchored to a flat floor. You cannot form the wall of algebra in a space occupied by a creature.

Each side of the polygon is a straight line of up to one 5 ft.-square/level. The wall is one inch/level thick, and each 5 ft. section of wall has 3 hp/inch of thickness. Creatures can hit the wall automatically. A section of wall whose hit points drop to 0 is breached. If a creature tries to break through the wall with a single attack, the DC for the Strength check is 15 + caster level.

However, any creature that passes through a breach in a wall of algebra must still pass through a thin layer of plasma-like mathematical energy, which deals X math damage to them, where X is the square of half your caster level, max 25 damage, with no save.

Material Component
A sheet of graph paper.

Wall of Slime
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Brd 4, Drd 4, Shu 4 (Water), Sor/Wiz 4, Wu Jen 4 (Water)
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Effect: Slime wall with area up to one 5-ft. square/level
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: No

Once people start casting walls of slime, you know the Prank War's gotten serious. The spell create a flat, vertical wall of oozing slime. The wall is self-supporting, and will stand vertical even if there is nothing to support it, though it must rest on a solid surface.

The wall is one inch thick/4 levels, and is composed of one 5 ft. square/level. You can double the wall’s area by halving its thickness. Each 5-foot square of the wall has 5 hit points per inch of thickness and hardness 0. A section of wall whose hit points drop to 0 is breached. If a creature tries to break through the wall with a single attack, the DC for the Strength check is 20 + 1/inch of thickness. The wall cannot be conjured so that it occupies the same space as a creature or another object.

The wall of slime exudes a sickening stench. Any creature that comes within 30 ft. of the wall must make a Fortitude save or be sickened for as long as they remain within 30 ft. of the wall and for 1d4 rounds after. Any creature that succeeds on its save but remains in proximity to the wall must continue to save each round on your turn.

Because the wall of slime is made of easily permeated slime, a creature may attempt to move through it, going from one side to the other. Doing so requires either a Strength check or an Escape Artist check, with DC equal to 15 + 1/inch of thickness. However, any creature that moves through the wall is automatically covered in slime, as the slimeball spell, for 1d6 rounds. Moving through the wall does not damage it.

Material Component
A bucket full of filthy water mixed with oil.

Water Trap
Abjuration and Conjuration (Creation) [Water]
Level: Clr 0, Drd 0, Shu 0 (Water), Sor/Wiz 0, Wu Jen 0 (Water)
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Object touched
Duration: Permanent until discharged (D)
Saving Throw: Reflex negates, see text
Spell Resistance: No

A convenient, cheap security spell, water trap imbues any item that can be opened and closed with a defensive ward that drenches any creature that tries to use it. If a creature opens the item, then the ward is discharged, summoning about a gallon of water a foot in the air above the opener’s head. The opener must make a Reflex save or be drenched. This does not cause any damage or negative effects, but it tends to be uncomfortable and embarrassing.

A water trapped item cannot have a second closure or warding spell placed on it. A knock spell automatically dispels a water trap. An unsuccessful dispel magic spell does not detonate the spell.

You can use the water trapped object without discharging it, as can any individual to whom the object was specifically attuned when cast. Attuning a water trapped object to an individual usually involves setting a password that you can share with friends.

Note that magic traps such as water trap are hard to detect and disable. A character with the trapfinding ability can use the Search skill to find a water trap and Disable Device to thwart it. The DC in each case is 25.

Wave of Tequila
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Brd 6, Sor/Wiz 8
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Area: 30 ft. burst
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial (see text)
Spell Resistance: No

The wave of tequila summons a mind-bogglingly large amount of super-strong tequila, which pours down on all creatures caught in the area of this spell, leaving them soaked with alcohol and unpleasantly inebriated. All creatures in the area of this spell are knocked prone by the downpour of tequila, and are nauseated for 1 minute, and take 1d10 points of Constitution damage. A successful save negates that Constitution damage and causes the creature to be sickened, not nauseated. However, after the minute is up, the creatures that failed their saves must make another save or take 1d10 additional points of Constitution damage. Creatures that are immune to poison are immune to the effects of this spell.

Weapon of Smugness
Evocation [Law, Good]
Level: Pal 2
Casting Time: 1 round
Range: Touch
Target: Weapon touched
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

If there’s one thing Paladins have in abundance, it’s smug self-righteousness. This spell lets you channel that into your weapon, using the force of your ego to smack down those less holy than thou. Any creature struck by the touched weapon must be saved or be overcome by your smugness. The exact effects of this depend on your alignment. If the creature is Lawful Good, then it is unaffected. If it is Lawful Neutral or Neutral Good, it is stunned for 1 round. If it is Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil, or True Neutral, then it is dazed for 1 round and takes 1d3 points of Charisma damage. If it is Chaotic Evil, it is dazed for 1d3 rounds and takes 2d4 points of Charisma damage. The weapon only affects creatures in this way if wielded by you or another paladin.

Wet Willie of the Damned
Necromancy
Level: Clr 4, Dusk 3, Hex 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 hour/level
Saving Throw: Will partial
Spell Resistance: Yes

A spell so disgusting it could only come from Sigil Prep, the wet willie of the damned is among the most feared weapons in a necromancer's arsenal. By shoving a spit-covered finger in your enemy's ear, you can fry their brains with negative energy. You must make a touch attack to successfully stick it in their ear. If the attack is successful, you zap their head with negative energy, dealing 1d6 points of damage/level, max 10d6. Also, direct exposure to negative energy is never a good thing for brains, with your target taking a -2 penalty to all mental stats for 1 hour/caster level. A successful Will save halves the damage and negates the ability penalties. Undead creatures are healed, rather than harmed by this damage, and gain a +2 bonus, not a penalty, to their mental stats. Creatures without ears are immune to the effects of wet willie of the damned.

[Korias]

These things seem straight outta Munchkin... But their so awesome. I cant ever see them being used in an actual game (Well, Bigby's Shanking Hand might...), but in any humorous game, they fit perfectly.

[The Demented One]

These things seem straight outta Munchkin... But their so awesome. I cant ever see them being used in an actual game (Well, Bigby's Shanking Hand might...), but in any humorous game, they fit perfectly.

Some of these are actually pretty useful in real gameplay, mostly the more combat-friendly ones.

[Fax Celestis]

I hereby request Leomund's well-stacked librarian. Not library, librarian.

[The Demented One]

I hereby request Leomund's well-stacked librarian. Not library, librarian.

...would that be Conjuration, or Transmutation?

[Fax Celestis]

...would that be Conjuration, or Transmutation?

Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of a not-so-unseen servant.

[Vhaidara]

You people have way to much time on your hands.

[The Demented One]

You people have way to much time on your hands.

Habeeb it!

[Fax Celestis]

Habeeb it!

THE AWFUL AWFUL TRUTH COMES OUT! D1 IS REALLY NARUTO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *cries*

...my worldview is shattered.

[Nerd-o-rama]

Your Gaydar spell needs a clause:

If Amizath d'Orien enters the area of effect of this spell, the caster must make a Will Save DC 15 or be Stunned for 1d4+1 rounds.

Seriously. That girl...uh, guy...whatever she is at the moment...is just confusing.

Other spells to consider:

Summon Fan Favorite: Summons a changeling bard named Zenra for 1 post/level. Then he leaves again, and the caster gets his room.
Snark (Psionic Power): Improve the audience's reaction by one step, as with a successful use of Diplomacy. Decrease party members' by the same.

(I love Alter Ego, by the way)

[Moff Chumley]

I am terribly sorry to sound cliche, but this thread is made of win.

[The Demented One]

Summon Fan Favorite: Summons a changeling bard named Zenra for 1 post/level. Then he leaves again, and the caster gets his room.

This is so, so true.

[Mr. Moogle]

HOLY MOTHER COLLEGE PRANKS... Wall of slime around the cheer leaders table /snigger

Also getting slime on you should reduce your charisma.

[The Demented One]

Added a nifty list of spells by class.

[Macrovore]

DUDE! you designed Sigil Prep? I love that CS!

[The Demented One]

DUDE! you designed Sigil Prep? I love that CS!

No, no, no, that was Captain Swift, someone far greater and funnier than me. I was just a player in his original Sigil Prep game, and decided to make a few spells for the setting.

[SurlySeraph]

Rugged Manliness is very, very powerful. As it rightly should be.

[The Demented One]

Rugged Manliness is very, very powerful. As it rightly should be.

Hell yeah.

[Fax Celestis]

Hell yeah.

I am confused as to why it doesn't provide a bonus to abilities on interacting with females.

[The Demented One]

I am confused as to why it doesn't provide a bonus to abilities on interacting with females.

Because Rangers are all about manliness and roughing it in the wild, not picking up chicks.

[Fax Celestis]

Because Rangers are all about manliness and roughing it in the wild, not picking up chicks.

Yeah, but chicks dig that. You'd think a circumstance bonus for Viggo Mortensen appeal.

[The Demented One]

Yeah, but chicks dig that. You'd think a circumstance bonus for Viggo Mortensen appeal.

I guess. After all, what can't rugged manliness grant a bonus to?

[Shiny, Bearer of the Pokystick]

And that's why I don't play rangers.
Everyone knows chicks dig Rogues.

That said; having linked my way to the setting, I love it, having seen it, I love these spells, having seen these spells, I like, totally love you, man.

That's right; they're so good, they shot me straight to the homo-erotic portion of drunkenness.

[The Demented One]

That's right; they're so good, they shot me straight to the homo-erotic portion of drunkenness.

The best part, isn't it?

[TheLogman]

Free Lunch, Instant Pitfall, Psychic Paper, and gobbledegook are a little too powerful, but maybe I'm wrong.

Altogether, amazing dude. Some are useful for standard adventuring, but mostly, these are just the spells to set the stage for Sigil Prep.

I can just see it:

Professor of Magical Theory: Comeon people! You have to get the incantations for these spells down! You must understand why your words are powerful, and why these Material Components work the way they do!"
(Students snicker, as the professor exclaims how hard spells are to really cast)
Professor: "I mean it! I've seen the spells you do in the halls and over the grounds! How are those going to help in the Real World? When a squad of Orcs comes dashing after you, what are you gonna do? You've filled your brains with these useless spells, and in the end, which is going to be more useful against these Orcs? The ability to light their Pipes, and dress them in togas, or the ability to blast them with magical force?"
(Students grumble, and get back to work, outside, a group of Druids sit outside in a group Purple Haze, simultaneously letting out "Duuuuude"."

[The Demented One]

Free Lunch, Instant Pitfall, Psychic Paper, and gobbledegook are a little too powerful, but maybe I'm wrong.

I see your point on most of them, but...Free Lunch? A level 20 sorcerer who uses all his spell slots to cast that spell every single day for 10 years would make a grand total of...<does math>...657 gp. In copper pieces. I don't think that's too bad.

[captainswift]

No, no, no, that was Captain Swift, someone far greater and funnier than me. I was just a player in his original Sigil Prep game, and decided to make a few spells for the setting.

Well, this Captain Swift dude is a genius, is what.

Good to see you again, Zenra. Keep up the good work.

[The Demented One]

Well, this Captain Swift dude is a genius, is what.

Good to see you again, Zenra. Keep up the good work.

Always glad to do anything with that marvelous setting of yours. Might you consider putting these spells up on the Sigil Prep website?

[Yuki Akuma]

..Oh God, thank you for posting that link.

It's given me far too many ideas for my own good.