Describe your Character(s) Poorly

[solidork]

First three are 5e, last three are GURPS.

Social justice barbarian.

"Will it blend?"

The man of someone else’s dreams, literally.

Came to this plane of existence for murder, stayed for the cute boys.

When life gives you shapeshifting powers, invent breakaway pants.

Live tweeting this firefight. #im gonna die lol

[cobaltstarfire]

A dirty bird hobo that may or may not spontaneously combust, and won't stop melting every metal object she gets her hands on. (Kenku Phoenix Sorcerer)


A relative of Big Bird runs away from home to sample the foods of the world, talks like Columbo, and might start raging if you're rude to her friends. (Kiwi Aarakocra Barbarian)



A quiet dragonlady who prefers to speak with actions, she enjoys the sound dry leaves (and bones) make when you step on them. (Dragonborn Tempest Cleric/Fighter)

[Honest Tiefling]

Elf princess. (Well, she is, just that she wears pelts instead of finely crafted clothes, worships an evil spirit, and her tribe practices cannibalism, but still, technically correct.)

[Quertus]

Poorly? Hmmm...

"Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science."

Lay-follower high priest. Curmudgeon face. Fool-of-a-Took tactician.

"My, what big... brains you have."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, patience - how long will that take? Responsibility? Ugh, who can I pawn that off on?"

Gold-plated hero.

Broken wings.

"An ounce of 'judicious use of force' is worth a pound of 'I told you so'."

Pickled lich.

[Beans]

Ooh, let's see.

The cool gay mom every adventuring party deserves, even if she does ship her companions shamelessly.

A crimesicle.

THE BONDAGE AMBULANCE IS HERE WEEEOOO WEEEOOO

Marriage isn't a matter of sexual or even romantic attraction. It's a matter of how many economies you'll crash and how many death-lasers you'll throw for your husbando. (And the answer is "a hell of a lot").

[Millstone85]

The swordmage who is themself a magical weapon. Warforged are deep, man.

The magical girl who was raised by pseudonatural wolves. Lä! Shub-Niggurath!

[VincentTakeda]

Crisis of infinite sues meets infinite stu. They get married and join the circus.

[Cluedrew]

There are some here I really want to ask some questions about, but that might destroy some of the fun.

• Underaged Robot
• Man goes on adventure for retirement.
• Woman goes on adventure for non existent people.
• Foreigner from here. Friends apologize for not liking her.
• Business man with knifes and teeth.

[cobaltstarfire]

I couldn't figure out a way to describe this one but now I know.

Ducky (like from the land before time). But a kobold druid

[The Vanishing Hitchhiker]

• What is a Dragonborn? A miserable little pile of Final Fantasy, Tagalog, and lightning!
• Half-elf needs you all to stop begging for heals, badly.

[ShaneMRoth]

A serial killer who gains superpowers the more victims he kills. But a nice serial killer, like Dexter Morgan.

[SethoMarkus]

"Like Hawkman, but with Evard's Black Tentacles."

"Like if Mxyzptlk forgot he was from the 5th dimension."

"Like a Scottish 'Conan the Librarian'."

[Cealocanth]

"I found this intriguing device that appears to be a stick with tentacles on the end."

[Jay R]

Remember that bully at school who used to like tripping all the other kids? Like that, but with feats and a magic guisarme.

[Telok]

There's, like, spells. And he's a dude, dude. 'Cause he read, like, a book. And owlbears are, like, old, dude. Check out my sharky kangarooroo thingy thing. Dude, this is good stuff, like, let's snort another line.

A clockwork man with organic bodily functions that cause harm.

The inspiring war leader who happened to be a poo throwing monkey.

A crazed dwarven barber who shaved people by (but not with) throwing axes and converted people to the cult of the close shave.

[Red Fel]

Oh, this sounds fun.

• Okay, like, a tsundere. But, who trains you with swords. Also was maybe sort of a sailor, ish?
• I mean, he's not "holier than thou," just pretty decent; it's just that the rest of the party is legitimately horrible.
• He really just wants to kill you and then eat yomeow meow meow (dammit).
• Who knew that much ugly could mix with that much ugly?
• "Why don't you notice me daaaaaaaad?"
• He may not have mastered first person pronouns, but he has a cunning plan.
• Short, with lasers.
• She likes flowers, also murder.
• "Take this... My love, anger, and all of my sorrow!" But as a Paladin.
• Beware the kitty.
• Smells bad. Uses spinal columns as flails. Gets paid in fist-sized emeralds.

[Prince Zahn]

"I'm not lonely! I have all the friends I could ever charm!"

He keeps a tall-eared mafia don in his hat, as well as his fireballs.

Like If the hunchback of Notre dame was bigger, meaner and would kick your butt "because you asked for it".

Little girl in love with another little guy. She can see into the future but did not foresee THIS tragedy.

[Yora]

Dwarf Fighter. This is literally everything I do remember about him.

[VincentTakeda]

Handful of people on a leaky boat going to save the world? Heheheheheh. Sorry.

[kraftcheese]

Big green bookworm

[Requiem_Jeer]

The current party:

Cat or Dragon?

Bond, Q Bond.

Blender Djinn

Crystal Dragon Jesus

Laser Dragon

[GrayDeath]

"Once" and "future" Elven High Wizard ... too bad there`s a "current" one....

[Herobizkit]

A mixed-race woman who put an ocean between herself and paradise instead of dealing with the emotional fallout from her absentee father and overbearing mother.

Also she's sort of a Planeteer.

[Cluedrew]

To the Blue Rebellion:

• One who cures the dead (but not death) and is having too much fun.
• Has the answers to far too many questions.
• Born to great joy and a full vocabulary.
• A boy was cut apart, a weapon was put back together.
• Inherited a great legacy. Takes it and humor seriously.
• Creates reality in art class.
• Like puzzle pieces, they take up less space when put together.
• The most adult person in the room is incapable of growing up.
• The second greatest invention of a great inventor.

Some others I forgot:

• A gnome bard, with too much responsibility for either.
• Had ideas, real name unknown.
• Studied books, good at soccer.
• Preformed magic with a door knocker.

And I might just be out of characters now...

[Phoenixguard09]

Good lord.

3 Coins:
- A border collie with an armoury, a love of sailing and poor people skills.
- A walking, carnivorous stormcloud with poor people skills.
- A changeling with serious self-image problems, an unhealthy archery fixation and poor people skills. (Noticing a trend here?)
- A crazy possum with far too many knives and not enough common sense.
- A drunken dwarf with various unhealthy habits, bad dreams and, you guessed it, poor people skills.
- A fun-loving, yet sadistic Inuit shapeshifter.
- A friendly, yet destructive walking barricade of armour, shields, horns and hair.

Whispers:
- Horse-nomad twins, one relatively normal, the other bat**** insane.
- An annoying twelve year old shapeshifter.
- One man, like seven personalities, one sword and an undead pupper...
- A mountain of fur who can't read or write, but enjoys killing things.
- A cursed mess of a carnivorous elven princess.

Great Maw:
- A horribly unlucky Scotsman who can occasionally get spirits to put things to sleep.
- A nice Drow necromancer.
- The Tauren Rogue...
- A remarkably well-adjusted racism victim.
- An avalanche of greatswords and fur.

I'm not very good at this game.

[Lord Raziere]

-cyborg martial artist cosplayer lesbians lost in the past
-hyperactive reality-warping slime girl, only 12 years old.
-the most arrogant elitist of all time, wants to prove self by beating up golden monkeys
-floppy-eared elf, bitter about knowing more than you.

[Anonymouswizard]

Hmmm... just going for my current characters:

I could adventure, but I literally make twice as much money selling beer.

*bzzt* you look like you are in need of rescuing, please stand by *bzzt*

[JAL_1138]

Jack of all trades, master of looking like an idiot.

[Mastikator]

Dumber version of Sherlock Holmes

[The Glyphstone]

The Heavy from Team Fortress 2.