Relationship Woes And Advice, Part Two (Read First Post)

[Logic]

I will kiss her.

I will not leave her company until I do.

Wish me luck.

You had better! I am living vicariously through you!
(We all know I would not have the courage to do the same.)
Besides, you were going to be a T.I.! How can a T.I. be afraid of a girl!

[Pyrian]

- When/if you hug them, do you turn your head towards them, kiss them on the cheek, and/or press your breasts firmly against them?

Okay, as an admittedly oblivious person, I still have to say that I fail to see how anyone could interpret this one as anything but obviously flirting. I mean, come on.

Oddly, I get this behavior almost exclusively from my married female friends. I really don't think they're coming on to me! But, y'know, who am I to say for sure...

Wish me luck.

Best of luck!

[zeratul]

Gah guys, assuming most of you know my situation I'm still having trouble thinking of weather or not I should ask her if she likes me. Should I ask directly or should I just try to see if she leaves any indication of it?

[Aramil Liadon]

Yay! Best wishes and goodwill to Angel, sympathies to Midnight Son (which I thought had a 'u').
Other than that, all I can offer is the promise that I am lurking here.

[Pyrian]

Should I ask directly or should I just try to see if she leaves any indication of it?

Well, the problem with waiting for indications is that they might not come, and she might be waiting for you to drop the like-bomb first. So, at this point I'd say you ought to ask directly; it's time to move on, one way or the other.

[AngelSword]

Besides, you were going to be a T.I.! How can a T.I. be afraid of a girl!

Well, considering that some of the scariest TIs are women…

[Hell Puppi]

Well, considering that some of the scariest TIs are women…

You better do it, otherwise I can become far scarier than most military women could hope to achieve...

[AngelSword]

You better do it, otherwise I can become far scarier than most military women could hope to achieve...

Please don't hurt me.

[Deuterium]

Ah...self blindness....Know the feeling...annoying...What's even funnier is that I generally know know with a remarkable degree of accuracy if someone likes/is flirting with any of my friends or visa versa....We have worked out a system for this; simple comunication.

A system like this would be great. My friends, however, would probably enjoy sending me the wrong feedback just to watch me squirm...

Yeah, you get a whole different perspective from there

'Tis, indeed. It's really difficult for me to tell most of the time. I think it's related to the fact that I usually don't think that it's possible that a girl is into me.

I'm lucky I met a girl who was smart enough to realise that I liked her and wasn't going to make the next step without some "help" - one moment we were sitting in the park, the next she was lying on top of me and demonstrating this thing you earthlings call "kissing".

I, too, may have ignored obvious signals because I thought it impossible that a girl would be interested in me.

As for the nature of those "obvious signals", I do know what they are, I think everyone has seen enough movies and soap operas to see (admittedly, exaggerated) versions. I just never see it happening to me.

The horrifying conclusion this leads me to is that no-one has ever flirted with me... I refuse to believe that is true, the personification of Deuterium's Self-Confidence has been fighting a losing battle for a long time, but he's not going down just yet.

Yeah, I have that same problem. Occasionally I've had flashes of insight, and I'm a little better than I used to be, but in general I'm fairly oblivious to that sort of thing. So, um... solidarity, brother. Or something.

I'll let you know if I get the answer.

Lesson 1: Use him as furniture.

See above for how I had that blinding insight...

[The Prince of Cats]

Well, the problem with waiting for indications is that they might not come, and she might be waiting for you to drop the like-bomb first. So, at this point I'd say you ought to ask directly; it's time to move on, one way or the other.

I would have to say that you need to make a move. If you want it, work for it. Life is too short for might have beens...

This from a man who always needed obvious signs. I mean one girl realised I was shy and tackle-snogged me. And even after that, I still wasn't sure if she liked me. I am just lucky that women used to throw themselves at me, recognising my sexy oblivious nature.

[Quincunx]

And while Red Mage claims that Febreeze solves everything, it does not work on man-furniture.

. . .Thank you, that clears up one lingering question from MegaCon '04. . ."What was that peculiar bouquet of odors not meant to be combined?" Convention Sunday > Febreeze.

For my part, there's no way the breasts aren't going to get in the way of a hug. They're not detachable. Watch for multi-part hugs: hug and kiss, hug and contented sigh, hug and nestling for comfiness, NOT hug and filch item from back pocket (tho' that may work for some), NOT hug and push away immediately.

[Xykon_Fan]

If a girl ever pick-pocketed me while she was hugging me, I might propose right there. Seriously, a girl who can manage what I am actively trying to learn? She could teach me! Heheh, I might "accidentally" take a while to master back-pocket pickpocketing though.

[Flakey]

On the other hand, his comment that "she decided" this distressed me somewhat I thought it was a mutual concensus...

A break up is very rarely mutual. Even if one person agrees with the other, it is more on the lines of "OK we will split *underbreath* not that I have a lot of choice in this matter anyway".

[magicwalker]

@^: How else would it be?

I'm breaking up with you.

Uhh, no.

*bad comedy skit then ensues*

EDIT: spelling

[Alarra]

If a girl ever pick-pocketed me while she was hugging me, I might propose right there. Seriously, a girl who can manage what I am actively trying to learn? She could teach me! Heheh, I might "accidentally" take a while to master back-pocket pickpocketing though.

Pick-pocketing while hugging is definitely flirting in my book. I mean, come on, you're touching their butt! At least every time I've done this I've certainly been flirting.

[Jibar]

I'm really worried about the number of people endorsing stealing here.
Come on, we have a lot of impressionable youths here, don't encorouge them to turn to the Dark Side like that. Teach them proper values, like safe sex and the best way to make toast.

[Glaivemaster]

I'm really worried about the number of people endorsing stealing here.
Come on, we have a lot of impressionable youths here, don't encorouge them to turn to the Dark Side like that. Teach them proper values, like safe sex and the best way to make toast.

Everyone knows that the best way to make toast is taking it from other people! Same with everything else you mentioned (don't ask me how it works, it just does)

Back to the flirting thing - I find that if I talk with a girl I like, I automatically flirt, even if I have no intention of trying to go out with her. Fortunately, this isn't so problematic as I so rarely talk to members of the opposite sex

[CurlyKitGirl]

Gah guys, assuming most of you know my situation I'm still having trouble thinking of weather or not I should ask her if she likes me. Should I ask directly or should I just try to see if she leaves any indication of it?

Ask her now.

[sktarq]

Pick-pocketing while hugging is definitely flirting in my book. I mean, come on, you're touching their butt! At least every time I've done this I've certainly been flirting.

yeah every time girls nicked my notebooks (they live in my back pocket) they've been mad about me (why I don't know).

[Dragonrider]

Okay, guys, so I think I mentioned that my dad wrote me a song after my mom told him about my problems...and played it for me...well, last night he wrote me an email telling me to look in a certain folder on the desktop. Turns out he recorded an mp3 of the song. I just about started crying, it was so sweet of him.

Spoiler

Show

I know you're lookin' around
And things don't look all that good to you
But don't go back underground
You've still got plenty of good to do

You know in all the wide world
There ain't no place like home
And people out there are scared
They're gonna end up alone

I know you set your sights high
You've been fillin' your heart with love
You're doin' all the right things
Sometimes it's just not enough

You've created a friendship
That can last your whole life
Though it don't seem like it now
It's worth this moment of strife

Though all the signs of the world
May say you're on the wrong track
Don't think of going back

Keep the word in your heart
Keep your feet on the road
Keep your eyes on the horizon
You can carry this load

Putting each brick in its place
One day you'll have a whole wall
Be confident there's no waste
Should even some of them fall

The ediface that you build
Will be a beauty to see
Though it will come at a cost
You know that nothin' is free

Yeah, you may lose what you want
Yeah, you may lose what you want
Though you may lose what you want
You'll surely find what you need
You'll find what you need

I know you're lookin' around
And things don't look all that good to you....

I guess it's kind of weird...I mean, my parents and I have always gotten along really well, but it's really cool to suddenly realize how much they care and that they really are there for me.

It's not like when you're young, and you think that your mom and dad can solve any problem with a snap of their fingers...but they can make your life a lot easier. This is kind of how my dad always communicates, through songs...when I was younger he and I used to fight a lot, and we got through it because he wrote me a song that made me go ...oh. Anyway, the advice he gave makes me feel a lot better.

[Sir_Norbert]

Wow. That song is pretty damn amazing. Well, it's making me cry, at least.

[zeratul]

That's really nice. Hooray for cool parents!

[Dragonrider]

Wow. That song is pretty damn amazing. Well, it's making me cry, at least.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. :)

[FdL]

I'm lucky I met a girl who was smart enough to realise that I liked her and wasn't going to make the next step without some "help" - one moment we were sitting in the park, the next she was lying on top of me and demonstrating this thing you earthlings call "kissing".

Yeah, that's cool. Happened to me too, and I tell you, I have no problem in girls taking the initiative. Well, nowadays it's me who asks girls, I'm not that shy anymore (well, a bit). I try to make it as frontal

I, too, may have ignored obvious signals because I thought it impossible that a girl would be interested in me.

As for the nature of those "obvious signals", I do know what they are, I think everyone has seen enough movies and soap operas to see (admittedly, exaggerated) versions. I just never see it happening to me.

You're like me in that sense, I can relate with what you're saying.

The horrifying conclusion this leads me to is that no-one has ever flirted with me... I refuse to believe that is true, the personification of Deuterium's Self-Confidence has been fighting a losing battle for a long time, but he's not going down just yet.

It's probably just that you haven't noticed. If you hang out with people and meet people, there's a factual probability that some girl has been attracted to you in some degree, and that leads naturally to flirting. Even if just talking to girls, flirting happens naturally.

It would be cool to really know, without a doubt, when a girl is flirting with you. But you know what the key to this is? The fact that she's flirting might mean she likes you, but doesn't mean she's going to acknowledge it and act upon it. The thing is flirting is sometimes its own end. And sometimes girls (and guys too I guess) "just flirt". Which doesn't mean there isn't an attraction, but sometimes it doesn't go beyond it. I hope that came out clear :p

A break up is very rarely mutual. Even if one person agrees with the other, it is more on the lines of "OK we will split *underbreath* not that I have a lot of choice in this matter anyway".

Yeah, totally. It can't be mutual, because a breakup precisely implies that there is some agreement about the relationship that you cannot reach :p

I don't know if it's an euphemisim or a term someone invented to cover the fact that he/she's been dumped...

@Zeratul: I see you've been sitting on this. I totally understand you because that kind of thing happens to me too. But it seems to bug you at this point, which is a very good indication that you should do it ASAP. Otherwise it's just something you're keeping inside, and thinking it over and over won't solve it.

@AngelSword: Yay! ^^ You rule, go for it. She's so cute too, here's wishing it goes ok :)

[Rykaj]

It would be cool to really know, without a doubt, when a girl is flirting with you. But you know what the key to this is? The fact that she's flirting might mean she likes you, but doesn't mean she's going to acknowledge it and act upon it. The thing is flirting is sometimes its own end. And sometimes girls (and guys too I guess) "just flirt". Which doesn't mean there isn't an attraction, but sometimes it doesn't go beyond it. I hope that came out clear :p

Yep, the 'just flirt'. I do it alot, mainly just because it's fun and it's flattering if it works. The funny thing is the more often you do it you start figuring out that it's just a skill and like any skill, practicing alot helps improve!

That said, I think flirting here is a little more blunt here so we might have it easier. Hugs and kisses are just standard methods of communication, even the so-dubbed breasthug isn't that rare and definately not a shout-out in a football stadium. But I have to say:

Lesson 1: Use him as furniture

That's one of the most blatant uppercuts with the clue-club you can make. Really charming though, I'll admit that

[Vampiric]

Quote:
Lesson 1: Use him as furniture

That's one of the most blatant uppercuts with the clue-club you can make. Really charming though, I'll admit that

And, from a guy's point of view, we love it when a girl sits on our lap, especially if they are the one you're trying to flirt with intentionally.

[Deuterium]

Lesson 1: Use him as furniture.

Come on, we want lesson two!

[Xykon_Fan]

Come on, we want lesson two!

Has every girl done lesson one yet? If not, I don't think Serp will start the next one...

Hey girls, I'm sure there are plenty of willing guys around here who would love to give you a hand with completing lesson one!

[Serpentine]

@^: How else would it be?

I'm breaking up with you.

Uhh, no.

*bad comedy skit then ensues*

Happened with a friend of mine, but replace "no" with "if you do I'll kill myself", and follow it up with "then I'm not eating until you break up with me" and the implementation of said threat. At least Goff and I are both aware of the situation, regardless of who wants what.

A lot of people want the lessons continued Hmm... >ponders back to active flirting duty...<
Ah, this should do -
Lesson 2: Offer/request massages, and/or/including hands or feet when, for example, sitting around or watching a movie (I used to do this when watching horror movies. Helped to distract me). This is helped by actually having some education in massage.

[Alarra]

Happened with a friend of mine, but replace "no" with "if you do I'll kill myself", and follow it up with "then I'm not eating until you break up with me" and the implementation of said threat. At least Goff and I are both aware of the situation, regardless of who wants what.

Been there, done that. Well, in any case, I've tried to break up with someone, had them threaten suicide, guilt me into staying another 3 months, try again, same threat, 1 more month, finally actually stick to my convictions and break up with them....have them actually attempt it and wind up in the hospital for awhile, leaving me feeling like it's entirely my fault.

And on the topic of mutuality in breakups, it actually can be. Case in point...myself and Chris. We'd been unhappy for months, I'd decided near the end of March that he and I needed to break up, but didn't do anything about it. So when he decided to break up with me near the end of April, I was relieved. So yes, it can be mutual.

A lot of people want the lessons continued Hmm... >ponders back to active flirting duty...<
Ah, this should do -
Lesson 2: Offer/request massages, and/or/including hands or feet when, for example, sitting around or watching a movie (I used to do this when watching horror movies. Helped to distract me). This is helped by actually having some education in massage.

In my personal opinion, I don't like to request massages. If someone gives me a massage, unbidden, rockstar....but requesting it? Nay. And I don't generally offer, but rather, just give them one, while say, I'm standing behind their chair. People don't generally mind.

But as far as the idea of massages as a form of flirting....even the slightest touching can have the same effect. Placing a hand on someone's arm while talking to them, or even casually moving your hand so that it's somewhat against them. However, keeping this in mind, I'm a rather touchy person in the majority of my relationships, friendships, boyfriends, flirtations in general. I touch and hug and pet people, just part of my personality I think. But really, I'm a very flirtatious person.