Relationship Woes And Advice, Part Two (Read First Post)

[Logic]

Sorry to hear that AngelSword. May your luck change for the better.

[Cult_of_the_Raven]

yarg. I have a similar problem, PhallicWarrior. A person I care about very deeply lives about a two-hour drive to the southeast of where I live. It really really eats at me, because I too have to rely on my parents to provide me with transportation. neither of our parents really approve, so we rarely see each other at all. Amazingly, we've managed to stay 'with' each other for over a year now, despite having seen each other less than five times over the course of the year - most of the time under the careful watch of our respective parents. We keep in touch over email, but with his computer in for repairs this week, I feel very lonely and full of teenage self-doubt indeed.

my humble advice - long-distance relationships are hard and painful. If you can't be seriously committed to making it work, then it might not be a good idea to start something that difficult. However, if you like her enough to wear the pain of a relationship like that, it might be worth a try.

[FdL]

Hmmm...I know I can't do long-distance, so I avoid it. It's a shame, but I know myself.
Actually I find that lately I've started appreciating old fashioned human relationships, so I tend to prefer presence, closeness, skin, etc. and move away from the virtual or distant. I want a simpler life.

[zeratul]

Ok guys, here's an update. The more I see her my feelings for her increase but, given my problems with the to two selfs (self esteem, and self confidence) I have problems expressing this. I overthink most things when I'm around her as well so, I think I don't come of as well around her as I do around other people. Anyway, I wrote my emotions the only way I seem to know how nowadays, poetry.

WARNING - is very sappy read at your own risk

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I still lack the confidence to show how much for you I feel
For to long my emotions I've tried to conceal
my joy at mearly seeing you is beyond comprehension
There's just to many things bout you I could mention

Now I know this minuscule selection of words may seem cliché
But it seems that this just makes it easier to convey
And though with this I'll always struggle with at least to some degree
I will try to move a way more from the introverted me

Your flash of white brings ecstasy from it's mere presence
Your beauty makes the moon glow brighter in recompense
To be your match in grace the raven could not feign
Yet still these paltry words cannot your essence explain.


And I know this minuscule selection of words may seem cliché
But it seems that this just makes it easier to convey
And though with this I'll always struggle with at least to some degree
I will try to move a way more from the introverted me

[Ego Slayer]

Aww, that's sweet, Zer. ^_^

[Dragonrider]

@Zeratul: Yes, very sappy, but you know what? Poetry is one of the best ways I know to get things out. I write a lot of (no doubt) very bad poetry that I will never, ever show to anyone, because it helps me sort things out and make sense of my own feelings, plus it's a kind of release. Somehow when you put things in rhyme, it makes it a little easier to think. So keep going, that's very good. (and by the way, that sounds a lot like one I wrote about a year ago...I hope your situation turns out better than mine did. )

(I wrote two very pathetic pity-me poems today on how I'm trying to move on - irony in itself since as long as I'm writing poetry about it, I clearly HAVEN'T yet. But it's only been two weeks...it'll take a while yet)


@Cult_of_the_Raven: Long-distance friendships/relationships ARE hard to maintain (all my friends are long-distance...), but in some ways I think it actually strengthens them - that is, if they're strong to begin with. You only keep something like that up if you really care about a person. EMAIL IS YOUR FRIEND.


@AngelSword: We should make a club for people who're in that boat. I wonder how many of us are out there on this board alone?

[Zeb The Troll]

WARNING - is very sappy read at your own risk

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I still lack the confidence to show how much for you I feel
For too long my emotions I've tried to conceal
my joy at merely seeing you is beyond comprehension
There're just too many things about you I could mention

Now I know this miniscule selection of words may seem cliché
But it seems that this just makes it easier to convey
And though with this I'll always struggle with at least to some degree (remove one of them)
I will try to move away more from the introverted me

Your flash of white brings ecstasy from it's mere presence
Your beauty makes the moon glow brighter in recompense
To be your match in grace the raven could not feign
Yet still these paltry words cannot your essence explain.


And I know this miniiscule selection of words may seem cliché
But it seems that this just makes it easier to convey
And though with this I'll always struggle with at least to some degree (remove one of them)
I will try to move away more from the introverted me

I'll admit, I don't do poetry very well but this, to me, has a nice flow and sounds honest. I made a few suggestions for corrections but they are all mechanical (mostly spelling) and in no way change what you're trying to get across.

Are you contemplating sending this to her? Or writing it down and giving it to her? I would think it would be well received, but then I'm not sure I'm the person to judge what a young teenage girl would think. I would at the very least make the mechanical corrections before doing so, though.

[Serpentine]

Zer, it seems like every time you say anything, you remind me more and more like my ex I mean, it's not like he ever wrote any poetry that I know of, and I don't think he's ever been a goth (though he is a metal-head now), but, I dunno, I just get this Adam-vibe off of you Don't worry, it's not a bad thing

[zeratul]

I'm also kinda new to writing poetry that isn't sad DR, but yeah I agree. Poetry, my bass, and these here wonderfull forums are where I express things the most.

[Serpentine]

Oh geez, you play guitar as well? >headdesk< You don't watch Star Trek, draw and listen to Metallica, too, do you?

[zeratul]

Hmm, well I love drawing midevil weapons, and I probably would like metallica. But I can't get into star trek. Though I know enough about it to know that the USS make **** up by Voltaire is hillarious.

[Dragonrider]

Okay, I admit it - I'm too vain to let the opportunity pass me by, and Zer has inspired me. A precedent, you know...once one person's knocked down the barriers, everyone wants to be just like him.

So this is one example of my own little let-down of self-pity which should Never Be Seen By Human Eyes:

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It wasn’t enough
All the prayers I said,
The tears I shed
I guess it couldn’t be;
And though within I’m dying,
Still I keep trying
For I want, I need, to be free

It wasn’t enough
For you saw things through
And now she loves you
And it’s tearing me apart;
And though you want to be friends
Try to make amends
I’m gathering the fragments of my heart

It wasn’t enough
And though I try to keep living
Try to start forgiving
It’s harder to forget;
And now I’m trying to let go
Though in my heart I know
That it’ll take a while yet

Yes. (is modest.) I'm wonderful. (is amused. )

[Hannes]

Well, bleh. There's this girl that I really, really like. So. There was a small party at my place and I started flirting. Five minutes later we were making out and I was the happiest man on earth. As the alcohol level rose and the night drew nigher it became clear that there will be adult actions. Now, when I tried to talk to her about a relationship the next day, she was giving me the usual "I'm sorry, it's just that there's so much going on and I'm not girlfriend of the year etc etc."
And so, now I though that "Okay, I guess it'll go over in a few days." Now, half a month has passed and the back of my head is still longing for her... You know, when you get a free moment and let your mind wander then her face is the first thing to come. And it really makes me feel empty and void, as if life's telling me
"Hey, you like her, don't you? Well, she doesn't like you!"

Also, figuring out that you want to live ALONE without seeing any friends for a year is weird somehow

[Serpentine]

Hmm, well I love drawing midevil weapons, and I probably would like metallica. But I can't get into star trek. Though I know enough about it to know that the USS make **** up by Voltaire is hillarious.

I'm guessing that's meant to be "medieval". Guh. Well, at least there's one difference, anyway... Uh, and I'm sorry I'm not saying anything useful, but, well, I don't have anything useful to say...

[zeratul]

Are you contemplating sending this to her? Or writing it down and giving it to her? I would think it would be well received, but then I'm not sure I'm the person to judge what a young teenage girl would think. I would at the very least make the mechanical corrections before doing so, though.

I've considered it, I probably won't but what do you guys think?

[Dragonrider]

If you do, my friend, you will be a braver soul than I am.

...



GO FOR IT!!!

*hahahaha*

(cackling evilly at the thought of shaping someone else's life to do what I never could...in other words, living vicariously through you )

(I think I'm up too late)

[Cult_of_the_Raven]

@ dragonrider - yes. email is very much my friend. also, your poetry is beautiful. now that a bandwagon is teetering on the edge of formng, I shall jump on it and submit my own. Warning - it's kind of long, and very sappy.

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Somewhere in the land of bleeding doubt,
An eerie sigh is heard over and over again.
And here in this place, my heart reaches out,
For it knows what it is to feel this pain.

When a heart that is broken is your only respite
When living your life seems an unwinnable fight
When you can’t bear the weight of your sword anymore
And you’ve forgotten what it is that you are fighting for
Remember that no matter where in life you stand or fall,
You can still hear your heart’s mournful call.

Somewhere in the land of sobbing cries,
I scream with the pain of my soul, then moan,
Tearing up my heart, weeping through your lies,
Never have I felt so very awfully alone.

When a heart that is broken is your only respite
When living your life seems an unwinnable fight
When you can’t bear the weight of your sword anymore
And you’ve forgotten what it is that you are fighting for
Remember that no matter where in life you stand to cope,
You can still feel another heart’s call and sad hope.

Somewhere in the land of my torn-up years
My heart cries out to another, and feels its drive.
Your laugh makes me forget my hard tears
And through it all, you force me to survive.

When a heart that is mending is your only respite
When living your life seems a barely winnable fight
When you can’t bear the weight of your sword anymore
And you’ve almost forgotten what you are fighting for
Remember that no matter where in life you stand the night,
In the end, all that matters is love that’s stood the fight.

[SDF]

Well you have to be careful when giving someone poetry, to make sure there isn't something they can misinterpret. That is why I prefer writing songs, with the tone of your voice and the musical melody you can make them get a certain feeling from it that may not be there with just written word. I'd give it to her if it is really what you want to express to her. Art is, after all, a way of expressing yourself through non-conventional means.

[zeratul]

Well you have to be careful when giving someone poetry, to make sure there isn't something they can misinterpret. That is why I prefer writing songs, with the tone of your voice and the musical melody you can make them get a certain feeling from it that may not be there with just written word. I'd give it to her if it is really what you want to express to her. Art is, after all, a way of expressing yourself through non-conventional means.

Heh, thus comes my loophole. Most of my poetry is written in such a way that if I wanted to I could convert it into a song.

[Dragonrider]

I like it, Cult_of_the_Raven. The bandwagon will expand to fit whoever needs a ride!

[Logic]

Oh geez, you play guitar as well? >headdesk< You don't watch Star Trek, draw and listen to Metallica, too, do you?

2 and a half out of 3.

[zeratul]

I like it, Cult_of_the_Raven. The bandwagon will expand to fit whoever needs a ride!

We should form a tortured artists club .

[Cult_of_the_Raven]

We should form a tortured artists club .

that would be fun and hilarious.

[Logic]

...now that a bandwagon is teetering on the edge of formng...

I have a small collection of unfinished poetry, and I suppose it is only fair to show it to the person I wrote it about before you guys. That is, if I ever finish it. It's not exactly flattering, but it is because of "relationship woes and advice."

[Amotis]

Personally I've made my worst compositions in the depths of angst and "tortured artists". It just pays too much attention to the things that make bad art, in my opinion. Too much self and too little restraint or control. It just flows and flows with things you can't keep your mind off, not letting you manipulate or fixate on things that make relatable, intricate, or just comprehendable outside your current mood. Of course, that's just an artistic merit perspective. Psychologically, it's very helpful to get all those feelings out and I advicate it fully.

[zeratul]

Ok, back on topic, anyone got some advice for Hannes?

[SDF]

The nice thing about music is, with enough talent, you can make selections of the dictionary into a nice song. :P

Personally I've made my worst compositions in the depths of angst and "tortured artists". It just pays too much attention to the things that make bad art, in my opinion. Too much self and too little restraint or control. It just flows and flows with things you can't keep your mind off, not letting you manipulate or fixate on things that make relatable, intricate, or just comprehendable outside your current mood. Of course, that's just an artistic merit perspective. Psychologically, it's very helpful to get all those feelings out and I advicate it fully.

That is why I try to avoid those things when writing. They have their place, but I find angst themes droll and very... meh. I guess it is okay if you are James Joyce though. I have a very analytical mind I think, and when I start I always look at the mood I'm trying to set and establish it congruently with the theme and emotion. There is no wrong way to do art, but there is what I consider bad art.

I'm not sure I want a SO right now. It certainly is lonelier, but I've been having enough trouble dealing with my friends lately. Not so much girl/boy woes, but problems with interpersonal relationships. There are some very specific problems, but I'll just say we've always seen the world very differently. That was one thing we all enjoyed when we were younger because we would have long, thoughtful philosophical conversations often, but as we've gotten older and had to deal with real issues we have all applied our own view to our lives. Lately it has created a lot of tension between us to the point where I've found myself not answering my phone when they call... I long for a simpler time, but it's life I guess. Nothing is easy.

[AngelSword]

GRR. I HATE WHEN ATTEMPTS TO MAKE AMENDS GO AWRY.

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It seems I was wrong, then. Perhaps you're not the kind person I once thought you were. I genuinely sought friendship with my message. But you seem so caught up in looking for the "dirty truth" in everything I say that you've missed that.

You truly are the cold hearted person you once called yourself.

Not only that, you show how spineless you are by not having the gall to give me a real response.

So go, continue the song and dance for your friends. I see the real you.

[Serpentine]

Oh dear. That one was TK, then? I'm afraid if you're gonna fix this up, you're gonna have to bite the bullet and call her.

[Zeb The Troll]

@AS - Ouch. I don't know what you said to draw that response, but you're definitely going to have to forego electronic communication to clear this up. Call her or visit her (if you can).