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Thread: In Need of Bad Goblin Poetry
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2017-03-20, 02:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
- Gender
In Need of Bad Goblin Poetry
Hi all,
I am going to be running a comically depressed goblin poet as an NPC in my campaign and I need help coming up with some cringe worthy poems for him to recite. Please help me by submitting your most amateur, melodramatic, and pretentious goblin poetry.
Thank you.Thanks to Gurgleflep for bringing my avatar to life.
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2017-03-20, 03:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
- Location
- Arcadia
- Gender
Re: In Need of Bad Goblin Poetry
Roses are red,
Violins are blue,
Goblins are green,
Green is best color.Creator of the LA-assignment thread.
Come join the new Junkyard Wars and build with SLAs and a breath weapon!
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Extended signature!
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2017-03-20, 03:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Gender
Re: In Need of Bad Goblin Poetry
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles,
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and slipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!
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2017-03-20, 04:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Re: In Need of Bad Goblin Poetry
No matter where you go...there you are!
Holhokki Tapio - GitP Blood Bowl New Era Season I Champion
Togashi Ishi - Betrayal at the White Temple
Da Monsters of Da Midden - GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Season V-VI-VII
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2017-03-20, 10:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- Tail of the Bellcurve
- Gender
Re: In Need of Bad Goblin Poetry
Snotrag's Lament:
My oozing fungus,
Trampled.
My slimy cave,
fireballed.
My shiny trinkets,
Stolen.
My lumpy head,
Severed.
My flapping ears,
Bounty.
My corpse,
Reanimated.
My fate,
Just another bodycount to save the world.
Kill the Clerics!
The cleric said to me,
You live in squalor and dirt.
We will set you free,
Clean your cave!
Wash your clothes!
Use our words!
No skulking in the Dark!
Worship the burning Light!
Obey us, we are right!
In the light our eyes cannot see,
but it is the cleric who is blind.
In the dark we were free.
The warchief said to me,
We live in misery and brightness.
The dark sets us free.
Fetch the axes!
Sharpen the spears!
Get the cleric!
Stake him to the floor!
Feed him to slugs!
Nail the skull to the door!
In the dark our eyes can see,
The cleric's dead and gone for good.
In the dark we are free.
The Burning Village Happy-Dance
Wall breaks!
Warrior shakes!
Towers fall!
Loot haul!
Flames flick!
Swords snick!
Blood flows!
Fire grows!
You're tall and strong and brave,
But goblins put you in your grave,
You style yourself a hero and all,
But goblins will drink from your skull.
Sheep Bleet
Delicious Meat!
Axe thwack!
Head stack!
Children cry!
Children die!
Village destroyed!
Goblins overjoyed!
You're tall and strong and brave,
But goblins put you in your grave,
You style yourself a hero and all,
But goblins will drink from your skull.
'Cause you were strong and brave
But goblins put you in your grave
You were a hero and all,
Now we drink from your skull!
Blood-red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
When they shot him down on the highway,
Down like a dog on the highway,And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.
Alfred Noyes, The Highwayman, 1906.
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2017-03-20, 11:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2016
- Location
- Oregon
- Gender
Re: In Need of Bad Goblin Poetry
There once was a goblin from mandiloo
Who's grog tasted like goo
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
I think I'll cook my shoes too
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2017-03-21, 03:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
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2017-03-21, 04:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
Re: In Need of Bad Goblin Poetry
Little byte
to descent commits
Will anybody hear
From the acid terrible cry
Anus happily bubbles....
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2017-03-21, 08:21 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Gender