Relationship Woes and Advice XXVIII: Happy and Perfect!

[Grytorm]

Ah hello again. I act fairly stupid sometimes in relationship to socializing. Simply put, or not. I had a worthwhile experience this summer, got to study abroad which offered the opportunity to make friends. Well, short story short I messed some things up and said some stupid stuff. But, thats not what I wanted to talk about. Instead, since the end of the trip I have gone out of my way to avoid anyone I met on the trip because I said hurtful things to some people, and I don't want that to happen again.

I discarded what means I had to keep in contact. And the two times I have run into anyone on campus I have done my best to avoid any conversation. Once veering ninety degrees to avoid someone, and the other time just not drawing attention when I encountered them on the way to class. Also, in general I have started to regard most of my interactions, especially with people I (kind of)/(could) find attractive as suspect. Maybe to not say things in a dramatic manner, I just find that any thought on my part related to romance or whatever is inherently misguided/pointless/unwanted.

[Honest Tiefling]

Ah hello again. I act fairly stupid sometimes in relationship to socializing. Simply put, or not. I had a worthwhile experience this summer, got to study abroad which offered the opportunity to make friends. Well, short story short I messed some things up and said some stupid stuff. But, thats not what I wanted to talk about. Instead, since the end of the trip I have gone out of my way to avoid anyone I met on the trip because I said hurtful things to some people, and I don't want that to happen again.

It's good that you are trying not to make the situation worse, but I think that you should consider an apology. It likely won't fix things, but in many ways it is the right thing to do.

I discarded what means I had to keep in contact. And the two times I have run into anyone on campus I have done my best to avoid any conversation. Once veering ninety degrees to avoid someone, and the other time just not drawing attention when I encountered them on the way to class. Also, in general I have started to regard most of my interactions, especially with people I (kind of)/(could) find attractive as suspect. Maybe to not say things in a dramatic manner, I just find that any thought on my part related to romance or whatever is inherently misguided/pointless/unwanted.

I would have to know more, but...Maybe focusing on yourself isn't a bad thing? You don't need to be pursuing a relationship 24/7, and if you cannot take the time to figure things out, I am very leery if you should be in a relationship to begin with.

[Grytorm]

Mhmm. For the apology thing, that is valid. However I feel like only one person was directly hurt rather than a group. I think actively trying to proffer an apology would be inapropriate at this point.

For the second part. I have a feeling that I have communicated my thoughts in a convoluted manner. I do think your response is valid advice but not didectly related to my statements. I agree that I should not pursue relationships. However the statement I made was not suggesting I want to be pursuing relationships instead being meant to suggest general pessimism towards the thought with a hint of self loathing.

Truthfully, I am in a somewhat depressed state right now, at times I make certain to remind myself that I am unwanted and my presence is largely harmful to groups of my peers. Hmm. I played magic the gathering today. I might have been quarrelsome. Hmm. Perhaps I should remind myself of this more often and work it into wider contexts.

I recognize and accept standard encouragement and advice about depression. I am presently not in counseling but I should reconnect. I guess. I refuse to discuss the reasons behind my recent emotional lows with my family but I recognize I should aknowledge them.

I smile warmly at Glassmouse's probable offering of sympathy. I report in some ways I am making progress in connecting with the only person who wants to spend time with me. And I mention productive relationships with professors at university and presence of semi personal tangential dialogue with one of them.

[Honest Tiefling]

Mhmm. For the apology thing, that is valid. However I feel like only one person was directly hurt rather than a group. I think actively trying to proffer an apology would be inapropriate at this point.

Your apology could be directed at the individual. Since you have issues with communication, I suggest writing it down and explain you don't wish to do it in person so you can communicate more clearly and not aggravate them with your presence. But since I don't have much information, that's only advice of course.

Truthfully, I am in a somewhat depressed state right now, at times I make certain to remind myself that I am unwanted and my presence is largely harmful to groups of my peers. Hmm. I played magic the gathering today. I might have been quarrelsome. Hmm. Perhaps I should remind myself of this more often and work it into wider contexts.

Little confused on this, can you explain? I admit, sometimes I have issues reading people, especially through text. So the miscommunication is probably on me.

I recognize and accept standard encouragement and advice about depression. I am presently not in counseling but I should reconnect. I guess. I refuse to discuss the reasons behind my recent emotional lows with my family but I recognize I should aknowledge them.

I don't know why you don't want to speak with your family on these issues, but...I love my own family a lot, but there are some issues I can't discuss with them. I don't think there's an issue in not talking about this with your family if you don't think it'll be productive.

If you feel like you are depressed, please do visit a professional if able. It doesn't work for everyone, and not all professionals are competent at their jobs. But depression is a serious issue, and I've seen too many people be hurt by it.

If your lungs were acting up, you'd go the doctor. Your brain is an organ like any other, so if there is cause to think that it might not be working properly, get help.

[Grytorm]

For the confusing babble about depression. In part I was mumbling about my negative self talk/emotional state. I have begun to feel more antisocial and uncomfortable around other people. I at times silently chastise myself so I can remember that I need to stay away from people. I hurt people, my presence worsens the lives of others, I should stay away from them.

For the not approaching my family part. I feel a decent amount of shame in relation to my actions a few months ago. I do not particularily want to share that part of the experience with my family. And yeah, I should return to my therapist.

[Honest Tiefling]

For the confusing babble about depression. In part I was mumbling about my negative self talk/emotional state. I have begun to feel more antisocial and uncomfortable around other people. I at times silently chastise myself so I can remember that I need to stay away from people. I hurt people, my presence worsens the lives of others, I should stay away from them.

I know it is difficult to deal with negative thoughts. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and that you are allowed to make mistakes. No one is perfect, and what matters is trying to improve. You are a person too, and you have needs as well.

For the not approaching my family part. I feel a decent amount of shame in relation to my actions a few months ago. I do not particularily want to share that part of the experience with my family. And yeah, I should return to my therapist.

Tell them when you're ready. If you are never ready, maybe that's for the best.

[Coidzor]

Ah hello again. I act fairly stupid sometimes in relationship to socializing. Simply put, or not. I had a worthwhile experience this summer, got to study abroad which offered the opportunity to make friends. Well, short story short I messed some things up and said some stupid stuff. But, thats not what I wanted to talk about. Instead, since the end of the trip I have gone out of my way to avoid anyone I met on the trip because I said hurtful things to some people, and I don't want that to happen again.

I discarded what means I had to keep in contact. And the two times I have run into anyone on campus I have done my best to avoid any conversation. Once veering ninety degrees to avoid someone, and the other time just not drawing attention when I encountered them on the way to class. Also, in general I have started to regard most of my interactions, especially with people I (kind of)/(could) find attractive as suspect. Maybe to not say things in a dramatic manner, I just find that any thought on my part related to romance or whatever is inherently misguided/pointless/unwanted.

It sounds like you may need to talk to a mental health professional about why you acted that way if you're feeling guilty about it but not contrite and are also going to such extreme measures to be avoidant even when no one has antagonized you or given indication of such an aim.

Might be able to delve into your tendency to jump the gun and over-invest as soon as you think there's even a chance of something potentially being an option.

[hawkboy772042]

So I've dating this girl for around 6 months then we decided to move in together. Almost immediately after moving into her place, it felt like I was walking on egg shells with all of her particular rules. After a week or two, I started to get the hang of it, but at the same time she wanted me to come with her and her family to Italy. I couldn't do it as I had to go on a business trip around the same time, resulting in us being away from each other for almost 3 weeks.

When I finally got back, she told me how she was angry at how I didn't message/call her enough (which I did at least message every other day) while belittling the efforts I did do in terms of communication and chores around the house. Then she decided the next day to tell me that it was over. Overall, it just seems unfair to have moved into her place after only a month to have this happen. I asked her to at least give it another month of us just living together and possibly going to couple's therapy, but she outright refused.

Is there anyway to get her to change her mind and at least try rekindle the relationship?

[Anonymouswizard]

So I'm not actually sure what advice I'm looking for, but I'm in a weird situation that I'm not 100% sure how to deal with.

So I've had a crush on one of my friends from university since January/February time (she was an acquaintance back then), which worked out well enough, I told her about it as soon as we became friends because I thought it was something she should know. She didn't feel the same way but we remained friends.

Well about a week ago she confessed she'd developed feelings for me. Normally this wouldn't be a bad thing, a boy and a girl like each other and so they go on a date together, all that jazz (assuming you like that music, I do but don't think it's date worthy*). The problem is that she was a foreign student, and now there's not only a national border but also the English Channel in the way. We've ended up in a loop of wanting to date, neither of us wanting to have a long distance relationship as one of our first ones, neither of us being in a position to move (she's studying for another qualification right now, I don't speak her language), and so on.

I guess I just kind of wanted to rant somewhere, and I've annoyed my friends with this enough already. Any advice would be welcome, although I can't promise I'll be ale to use it.

* Then again, my experience on that front is nil.

[dehro]

Is there anyway to get her to change her mind and at least try rekindle the relationship?

Don't.
by how you describe the unfolding events, you've dodged a bullet.
That would be my first reply, based on instinct and on my interpretation of your post. That said, if you're really in love, you may want to take your time to find other accomodations, without rushing but also without dragging your feet too noticeably... in that time, you could try to at least mediate your current situation by finding compromises and showing to be willing both to keep the relationship going, but also to accomodate many of her rules. If she sees you're genuinely trying, she might rethink her course of action. If then things still don't work out, you'll have gained some experience and taking your time will allow you to find the best suitable accomodations rather than move out suddenly and taking whatever comes your way.
But really.. it's a long shot and by how you've painted her, she doesn't sound like she's inclined to even consider your relationship as still going.. and I reiterate, you'd best move on.
Next time, take your time before moving in... learn how your future partner is at her house by staying over a lot, doing weekends or even work day sleepovers.. get a feel for her in her domestic and professional life before you decide to jump the gun. Talk things out before, establish what rules there are and focus on the ones you don't like in the conversation. I moved in with my partner after a year of being together.. and that seemed a short time to me.. but we were both older than you probably are now (pure guess on my part), and we did talk a great many things through. We still have our moments where different lifestyles and sometimes sleep patterns cause some strife.. but that's part of the deal.

[Cozzer]

Is there anyway to get her to change her mind and at least try rekindle the relationship?

Sorry, but I really don't think so.

Or, trying to be more positive: she might change her mind, but you cannot influence that. If she's going to change her mind, she will. If she isn't going to, you trying to change her mind would be seen as clingy and needy and would just reinforce her decision.

So yeah, it might seem backwards, but starting to think and act like it's over will help you even if you two are going to get back together in the future. In my opinion, at least (I've recently discovered I'm not as good at breakups as I hoped I'd be, but I think I've the theory straight ). Take care of yourself, and initiate typical breakup protocols (look out for number one, give yourself treats, try doing something new to redefine yourself, and so on).

[ve4grm]

So I've dating this girl for around 6 months then we decided to move in together. Almost immediately after moving into her place, it felt like I was walking on egg shells with all of her particular rules. After a week or two, I started to get the hang of it, but at the same time she wanted me to come with her and her family to Italy. I couldn't do it as I had to go on a business trip around the same time, resulting in us being away from each other for almost 3 weeks.

When I finally got back, she told me how she was angry at how I didn't message/call her enough (which I did at least message every other day) while belittling the efforts I did do in terms of communication and chores around the house. Then she decided the next day to tell me that it was over. Overall, it just seems unfair to have moved into her place after only a month to have this happen. I asked her to at least give it another month of us just living together and possibly going to couple's therapy, but she outright refused.

Is there anyway to get her to change her mind and at least try rekindle the relationship?

Cozzer and dehro both have good advice.

I'll just add to the chorus that it looks like this might be for the best. It seems like your personalities would have clashed eventually, regardless.

Additionally, if she is willing to call the whole relationship off over a trip where you didn't call enough, it feels like either there's something more going on underneath that you're not seeing (bigger concerns on her part), or she wasn't as invested in the relationship as you seem to be.

Take it as a learning experience, find a new place to live, and move on. It's hard, but we wish you the best of luck.

So I'm not actually sure what advice I'm looking for, but I'm in a weird situation that I'm not 100% sure how to deal with.

So I've had a crush on one of my friends from university since January/February time (she was an acquaintance back then), which worked out well enough, I told her about it as soon as we became friends because I thought it was something she should know. She didn't feel the same way but we remained friends.

Well about a week ago she confessed she'd developed feelings for me. Normally this wouldn't be a bad thing, a boy and a girl like each other and so they go on a date together, all that jazz (assuming you like that music, I do but don't think it's date worthy*). The problem is that she was a foreign student, and now there's not only a national border but also the English Channel in the way. We've ended up in a loop of wanting to date, neither of us wanting to have a long distance relationship as one of our first ones, neither of us being in a position to move (she's studying for another qualification right now, I don't speak her language), and so on.

I guess I just kind of wanted to rant somewhere, and I've annoyed my friends with this enough already. Any advice would be welcome, although I can't promise I'll be ale to use it.

* Then again, my experience on that front is nil.

Long distance relationships aren't impossible... but they are difficult, and can be emotionally taxing. Know what you're getting into if you agree to that.

That said, I assume you're English (since you're speaking it) and she's... French? Belgian? Dutch? Checking on Google Maps, London to Paris is a short flight, and can be found round-trip for under £100 (cheaper if you don't travel on weekends, down to around £50). So you're in a better position than many to follow your long-distance romance.

Take from that what you will, as I obviously don't know your financial situation.

Regardless, you seem to have developed a good friendship, so that's a plus whatever happens!

[Anonymouswizard]

Long distance relationships aren't impossible... but they are difficult, and can be emotionally taxing. Know what you're getting into if you agree to that.

That said, I assume you're English (since you're speaking it) and she's... French? Belgian? Dutch? Checking on Google Maps, London to Paris is a short flight, and can be found round-trip for under £100 (cheaper if you don't travel on weekends, down to around £50). So you're in a better position than many to follow your long-distance romance.

Take from that what you will, as I obviously don't know your financial situation.

Regardless, you seem to have developed a good friendship, so that's a plus whatever happens!

Yeah, it's just that our inexperience leads to nerves and being unwilling to start on both sides.

She's French, so yeah it's not exactly going to be too hard to see her if I can get a decent job (still looking, but I had a decent interview for an NHS position). I'll to look at this.

And yep, I think the reason I'm not too bothered at the moment is because she's at least a great friend.

[lio45]

On our continent, the width of the English Channel would barely be enough to consider it a LDR - personally I've "commuted" to girlfriends over greater distances than that!

If you're both interested in each other, you should let such a bit of distance get in the way.

[Honest Tiefling]

Is there anyway to get her to change her mind and at least try rekindle the relationship?

Don't bother. It sounds like an abusive relationship to be honest, so ditch her.

A good partner would have discussed the rules of the home to accommodate both and react reasonably so that both parties can adjust. A good partner would have encouraged your career and tried to make plans around it. A good partner doesn't belittle you.

[Anonymouswizard]

On our continent, the width of the English Channel would barely be enough to consider it a LDR - personally I've "commuted" to girlfriends over greater distances than that!

If you're both interested in each other, you should let such a bit of distance get in the way.

Unless I can get a job that'll let me move to the continent Brexit is also going to be a problem (although I can get Irish citizenship).

I'll talk to her about it, it's very much something we both want, but neither of us having had a serious relationship (and this potentially literally being my first) makes me even more worried about screwing it up.

At this point I'm worried one of us is going to abandon everything and run off to the other. It'll certainly solve our 'no you're smarter' argument.

[Cozzer]

Don't bother. It sounds like an abusive relationship to be honest, so ditch her.

A good partner would have discussed the rules of the home to accommodate both and react reasonably so that both parties can adjust. A good partner would have encouraged your career and tried to make plans around it. A good partner doesn't belittle you.

I understand where you're coming from, but I'm honestly a bit scared of how easy it is to label a relationship as "abusive" or "toxic" on the Internet, after having heard only one side of the story. I mean, maybe her requests were completely obivious and basic stuff that she didn't discuss beforehand because normally it wouldn't be necessary. When you hear the story of a breakup (or of a crisis in the relationship) from one of the people involved, of course the other one will seem like the bad guy. (I'm not suggesting that hawkboy is the bad guy either! Just pointing out that "abusive" is kind of a very strong word).

[ve4grm]

On our continent, the width of the English Channel would barely be enough to consider it a LDR - personally I've "commuted" to girlfriends over greater distances than that!

Fair enough, though a national border will complicate things. But I've known brits who consider a 2 hour drive to be a "day trip" where you wouldn't be able to get anything else done that day. A 2 hour drive doesn't even get me out of my province.

Unless I can get a job that'll let me move to the continent Brexit is also going to be a problem (although I can get Irish citizenship).

Ugh, Brexit. You might want to grab that Irish tag while you can, anyways. It seems like it'll make a lot of things easier for the folks who can get it. Vacations, at a minimum.

I'll talk to her about it, it's very much something we both want, but neither of us having had a serious relationship (and this potentially literally being my first) makes me even more worried about screwing it up.

Relax. Long distance can work, and it's easier than ever in the age of internet and Skype. With you two, you're in a better situation, because it isn't really "long" distance, and you can visit on a semi-regular basis. (Even if it's only a weekend every few months, it helps.)

At this point I'm worried one of us is going to abandon everything and run off to the other. It'll certainly solve our 'no you're smarter' argument.

That's a better argument to be having than most.

Yeah, don't do that. Start long-distance. Keep up online and on trips. Have online "dates" where you do dinner and a movie together. See how it feels.

Gradually, you'll get a feeling of whether it needs to be escalated or not. Just take it slow to start, and make sure you know where each other is at with their feelings.

[ve4grm]

I understand where you're coming from, but I'm honestly a bit scared of how easy it is to label a relationship as "abusive" or "toxic" on the Internet, after having heard only one side of the story. I mean, maybe her requests were completely obivious and basic stuff that she didn't discuss beforehand because normally it wouldn't be necessary. When you hear the story of a breakup (or of a crisis in the relationship) from one of the people involved, of course the other one will seem like the bad guy. (I'm not suggesting that hawkboy is the bad guy either! Just pointing out that "abusive" is kind of a very strong word).

Yeah, I wouldn't say it's obviously abusive or anything. But it does seem like a mismatch.

[Honest Tiefling]

I understand where you're coming from, but I'm honestly a bit scared of how easy it is to label a relationship as "abusive" or "toxic" on the Internet, after having heard only one side of the story. I mean, maybe her requests were completely obivious and basic stuff that she didn't discuss beforehand because normally it wouldn't be necessary. When you hear the story of a breakup (or of a crisis in the relationship) from one of the people involved, of course the other one will seem like the bad guy. (I'm not suggesting that hawkboy is the bad guy either! Just pointing out that "abusive" is kind of a very strong word).

Hrm. I think I was a bit aggressive with my language. I think you have a very good point, so it might be better to label this relationship as 'unhealthy'. Many relationships end sadly in a lot of fighting as baggage and hurt is carried over throughout the years without a definite 'bad guy'.

But without some indication of work being put in by both sides (such as seeing a relationship counselor) to address the fighting, I don't think this is a worthwhile relationship.

[Anonymouswizard]

Fair enough, though a national border will complicate things. But I've known brits who consider a 2 hour drive to be a "day trip" where you wouldn't be able to get anything else done that day. A 2 hour drive doesn't even get me out of my province.

I live near London, and it's only like a five hour drive to another country!

At least among the people I know four hours is considered the maximum you should drive at any time, and you shouldn't really drive more than six in a day (on the other hand we mock Americans for not walking). Because the UK is a lot smaller than many countries we're used to small drives.

Ugh, Brexit. You might want to grab that Irish tag while you can, anyways. It seems like it'll make a lot of things easier for the folks who can get it. Vacations, at a minimum.

I plan to, I have Irish grandparents so it's relatively simple right now. I just want to be in employment before I pay 100 euros to be on the foreign births register.

Relax. Long distance can work, and it's easier than ever in the age of internet and Skype. With you two, you're in a better situation, because it isn't really "long" distance, and you can visit on a semi-regular basis. (Even if it's only a weekend every few months, it helps.)

Yeah, I guess. I hope to be posting 'you know that stupid post I made? Turns out I was just being stupid and it worked out' two years down the line.

That's a better argument to be having than most.

Yeah, don't do that. Start long-distance. Keep up online and on trips. Have online "dates" where you do dinner and a movie together. See how it feels.

Gradually, you'll get a feeling of whether it needs to be escalated or not. Just take it slow to start, and make sure you know where each other is at with their feelings.

I'll take that advice, she might be down in London town in December, so I'll talk to her about it then.

[Honest Tiefling]

I've done the LDR thing before, so some tips:

1) ALWAYS make time for each other. This is important, since you don't have the other person there with you. Skype is probably your best bet, so make sure both parties have a function computer. Plan trips to see each other, and activities to do online, even if it is as simple as watching a movie together.

Of course, given these forums, you should try to run a campaign for her or vice versa.

2) It will take work and trust. It just won't work without that, so if either party has jealous tendencies you might have some issues. You need to be able to communicate clearly, and be willing to put in more effort then if you were in the same room.

3) Sounds like the two of you have plans for your future, so make sure you discuss it with her. I don't mean settling down and getting married, but I mean where you might be in the next few months and the like.

4) If you two have a tradition of gift giving, (even if it is cheaper, more sentimental items) secure a good service to do so. It might be a good way to show affection.

[Grytorm]

It sounds like you may need to talk to a mental health professional about why you acted that way if you're feeling guilty about it but not contrite and are also going to such extreme measures to be avoidant even when no one has antagonized you or given indication of such an aim.

I think I should mention one detail which might not have been clear. The study abroad program I participated in ended around, seven weeks ago. Which makes the proposed apology somewhat more difficult than is assumed. Thank you.

[lio45]

At least among the people I know four hours is considered the maximum you should drive at any time, and you shouldn't really drive more than six in a day (on the other hand we mock Americans for not walking). Because the UK is a lot smaller than many countries we're used to small drives.

I'm used to the opposite, I do Quebec-Florida several times a year, I leave in the morning and arrive the next day in the evening, with a ~8 hour night sleeping in my vehicle somewhere around Virginia/Maryland.

For two years I had a gf who was a 3-hour drive away (within my province). Now we've moved together. I also had a cross-border relationship with a Yankee for a while, a shorter drive actually, and had that one lasted I suppose I'd have relocated to her side. A border isn't really a problem for the right person, if you're close enough to see your family and friends from time to time, which would be your case in northern France or her case in SE England.

[lio45]

Start long-distance. Keep up online and on trips. Have online "dates" where you do dinner and a movie together. See how it feels.

Gradually, you'll get a feeling of whether it needs to be escalated or not. Just take it slow to start, and make sure you know where each other is at with their feelings.

Agreed. You're both interested in each other, so you guys have nothing to lose by trying to make it work. I think you'll regret it if you don't attempt it and see where it goes.

[Anonymouswizard]

I've done the LDR thing before, so some tips:

1) ALWAYS make time for each other. This is important, since you don't have the other person there with you. Skype is probably your best bet, so make sure both parties have a function computer. Plan trips to see each other, and activities to do online, even if it is as simple as watching a movie together.

Of course, given these forums, you should try to run a campaign for her or vice versa.

2) It will take work and trust. It just won't work without that, so if either party has jealous tendencies you might have some issues. You need to be able to communicate clearly, and be willing to put in more effort then if you were in the same room.

3) Sounds like the two of you have plans for your future, so make sure you discuss it with her. I don't mean settling down and getting married, but I mean where you might be in the next few months and the like.

4) If you two have a tradition of gift giving, (even if it is cheaper, more sentimental items) secure a good service to do so. It might be a good way to show affection.

Thanks for the advice, if I can convince her to give it a chance (and once I have a job, can't leave the country while looking for one due to how benefits work). I do want to work everything out in person though, seeing how close it really is.

Oh, and she refuses to play any RPG unless it's played in French, she did express interest but thinks her English is worse than it is

Agreed. You're both interested in each other, so you guys have nothing to lose by trying to make it work. I think you'll regret it if you don't attempt it and see where it goes.

Well you guys have convinced me, now all I need to do is convince her.

[AuthorGirl]

Well you guys have convinced me, now all I need to do is convince her.

Though I had no part in said convincing . . . best wishes to you both!

[2D8HP]

....now all I need to do ...

Well I'm utterly charmed by this.

I'm imagining a sepia tone movie with a young Hugh Grant playing Anonymouswizard, and a young Audrey Tautou as the French lass.

[ve4grm]

Thanks for the advice, if I can convince her to give it a chance (and once I have a job, can't leave the country while looking for one due to how benefits work). I do want to work everything out in person though, seeing how close it really is.

Oh, and she refuses to play any RPG unless it's played in French, she did express interest but thinks her English is worse than it is

Bah! As a Canadian, I've played with Quebecois folks who, upon trying to count distance, couldn't think of the number 4, had to stop, start over, and count in French! This same friend learned his first English from D&D books.

"Ok, I move one, two, three... euh... ... ... undeuxtroisquatcinq..."

On a serious note, I definitely get the concern. Though language issues can be minimized with nothing more than a group willing to be a bit patient while you search for a word.

Well I'm utterly charmed by this.

I'm imagining a sepia tone movie with a young Hugh Grant playing Anonymouswizard, and a young Audrey Tautou as the French lass.

In my headcanon, it is entitled: "We? Oui!"

[AuthorGirl]

Well I'm utterly charmed by this.

I can't tell if that's sarcasm or not