IC Adventurers in the Hands of an Angry God

[ThurlRavenscrof]

First, James turns into the stalwart paladin, complete with clanking armor, a regal up-turned-nose expression, and holy symbol proudly displayed. Jacob laughs and playfully shoulders his twin. His arm glides effortlessly through the illusion of the armor.
"Verily, fellows, I say unto you, we shall fulfill our vows of honorable honor! My god and master Lord Fart has declared it thusly!
Our righteous fury and whirling blades will smote the fiends of hell and bleach throughout the black ichor of their hearts..."
He crosses his arms self importantly and gives sneers at no one in particular.
"Nice! Now do the orc!" Jacob encourages.
Aureus' features oddly, grotesquely, morph into that of Oona's.
"Quiet boy." Fake Oona looks at Jacob laughing. "No more happiness. I... feel a strange pain in my fingers... like I need to... strangle an adolescent!" Jacob pretends to cower while James reaches out his illusion arms towards his brother's throat. Then he looks over at Oona and waggles his eyebrows.
"You got the teeth wrong." Real Oona mutters after a long moment of intimidation.
"Oooohhhh!" Jacob shouts in appreciation "She TOLD you." He goes to high five Oona.
Fake Oona's feature's start to morph into Mark's.
Before he's able to open his mouth to imitate the cleric, Mark creates a duplicate of himself and initiates a 3 way high five with all of himself.

[ThurlRavenscrof]

James morphs from Mark into the lithe and radiant sun elf, stretching and arching in comically seductive ways. The new Val turns dramatically towards Oona. "Let's play a game, you and I" the new Val coos, using far more tongue movements than are necessary to form words "It's called Strip and Compliment Val. I'll go first..." Jacob laughs heartily beside his brother.

But his laugh dies slowly as he happens to catch a glance of the road up ahead. A rather large tree has fallen across the road. To the right side of the road, a steep slope sweeps downward. To the left side of the road, a dense forested area. The tree will have to be removed before the cart can proceed down the path.

[scalyfreak]

Oona stops as soon as she sees the three, and begins to scan the dense forest closely, searching for signs of people. She leaves examination of the tree to others, assuming the worst, and wastes no time getting her weapon ready for whatever, or whoever, tipped a tree across the road in such a convenient ambush spot.

[Desril]

Val doesn't waste the opportunity. Seeing James morph into her, she smirks at his idea of a game, "Oh? Well then," she says, while sliding over to lean against herself, tracing a finger up her double's leg, "Why don't we play a little, and see if I think you're good enough to get a reward? After all...I've already done the stripping, and nothing's stopping you."

As she says it the tree blocking the road comes into view, but the elf pays it little attention. It's not as if she was in a hurry, the others could take care of the tree, and she was bored. Playing with the twins could be interesting, and maybe, she thinks deviously, she could get the one brother to mistake her double for the real version. The reaction then would be priceless...A shame she didn't have the magics necessary to fool Mark as well.

Spoiler

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Val is an *******

[ThurlRavenscrof]

As the real Sun Elf traces her finger up the young man's leg, the party can easily see him getting more nervous. However, in his current disguise, the party actually perceives it as a dressed Val getting more nervous - it's a strangely unsettling sight as no one can imagine Val looking uncomfortable at the hint of sex.
"I... nothing's stopping me-" His voice breaks comically and he looks down in embarrassment. Jacob, who has always seemed like the braver of the two, reaches over to his brother's head, snatches the leather cap off his head, and puts it on his own head. James transforms back into himself and Jacob morphs into a version of Val wearing the merest implication of clothing.
"If I remember correctly, the name of the game was Compliment Val..." Jacob intones, sounding very pleased with himself "So go ahead." He reaches out and tucks a bit of hair behind the real Val's ear. Though Val sees a copy of her own hand, she feels the hand of a boy.

[JbeJ275]

Looking wistfully at the action going on beside him, mark has his duplicate run out in front of the log, swing if there is anyone to give a response, he freezes stock still as he does this like an uncommanded illusion might.

[Majin]

Theren just mutters to himself something about "...using magic frivolously", and shakes his head. Perhaps getting embarrassed by Val could be a start of the kids' punishment. Wherever had they gotten such a magic item?

Theren mostly concentrates on driving the mule, and keeping his eyes on the road ahead. There seemed to be a tree lying on the road. Either there had been a storm, or someone wanted to set up an ambush for unwary travelers.

Theren casts a spell to help himself focus, and tries to spot if anyone is hiding nearby.

Spoiler: OOC

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Perception: (d20+4)[16] + Guidance: (d4)[3]

[ThurlRavenscrof]

As Oona prepares her weapon, and Theren scans the trees, Mark's duplicate moves out to the tree. It's pretty realistic looking until three arrows sail right through his illusory torso.

Spoiler: Combat

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Everyone roll initiative. Oona at advantage.
Jacob at disadvantage (1d20+1)[7] (1d20+1)[6]
James at disadvantage (1d20+1)[4] (1d20+1)[19]

Spoiler: Theren

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Theren sees two orcs in the woods. One is up in a tree shooting arrows, one is lying flat on the ground with a crossbow. When the crossbow wielding orc sees that Mark is an illusion, she jumps to her feet and starts running towards the cart. Orcs' initiative at advantage (1d20+2)[11] (1d20+2)[18]

[AssaultMage]

Aureus, who has been leading the procession along the trail, preferring the company of the sober and intelligent Theren to the boisterous and chaotic murmurings of the party members in the cart. He noticeably stiffens at the boy's impression, and is trying his best to avoid becoming annoyed with his more colorful companions when he spots the tree. He calls a halt, mentally applauding Mark's decision to send his duplicate ahead. Carefully he unslings his shield from its strap, and places a wary hand on his sword's hilt. He is only slightly surprised when the arrows flash through the double's torso, and swings his shield into a defensive posture.

Spoiler: OOC

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Aureus rolls for initiative: (1d20+0)[4]

[JbeJ275]

You f***s! You killed me!

With a final salute to his fading duplicate, Mark conjures a longsword near the orcs, fires a bolt from his crossbow and ducks for cover behind the cart.

Spoiler: Rolls

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Spiritual Weaopon Attack: (1d20+5)[23]
SW Damage (1d8+3)[11]

Crossbow Attack (1d20+4)[16]
CB Damage: (1d8+2)[10]

[Desril]

Val
HP 21
AC 13

Seeing her companions come under fire, Val stops teasing the boys and stands up in the cart, looking for the enemy. A simple pair of orcs weren't worth wasting a lot of power or effort on, however, nor was there a point in reactivating her shadowy protection from this distance. Instead, she simply held her hand aloft and fired a bolt of arcane energy toward the most clearly visible opponent.

Spoiler

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No map, so not sure if I have a clear line of shot to anything. Hitting the orc with the least amount of cover with a simple eldrtich blast (1d20+5)[24]
Damage (1d10+3)[4]

[scalyfreak]

The moment an arrow comes flying towards and through Mark's magical double, Oona's grip on the glaive shifts and she goes into full attack mode. Remembering what Val and Mark said about blasting magic and shooting arrows, Oona stays away from the most obvious line of sight between the cart and the approaching orc, trying her best to give her allies at least one clear shot at the enemy as she charges in.

Spoiler

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Glaive attack roll: (1d20+6)[25]
Damage: (1d10+4)[14]

[scalyfreak]

Spoiler: Critical damage bonus rolls

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Additional critical damage: (1d10)[7]
Half-orc bonus on critical hits: (1d10)[1]

[ThurlRavenscrof]

Using the teamwork and prowess of a trio of adventures who had known and fought with each other for years, Mark, Val, and Oona quickly dispatch the orc running towards the cart. As Oona deals the the killing blow to her, she notices two things. One, this orc is much bigger and stronger than Oona would expect and her armor seems much nicer than average. This is likely a leader of some sort they have killed. Two, on her armor, the symbol of Gruumsh is painted.
The group knows there are more enemies in the woods but so far only Theren has seen one of the others.
James ducks down below his seat in the cart. Jacob, still disguised as Val, jumps from the cart and runs up to where Oona finished off the orc. "What's going on?"

[scalyfreak]

Oona makes note of the armor and physical characteristics of her fallen enemy, but does not dwell on either one for long, choosing instead to drop the glaive and get her shield and sword at the ready while she looks for the archer that killed Mark's magical mirror image earlier.

"What's going on is, you're getting yourself killed. There's an archer, and you're an easy target, you idiot."

Spoiler: action clarification

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OOC: Using this round's bonus action to get shield up. Sword comes out to play next round.

[Majin]

Theren, HP: 17/17 AC: 15, PPerception: 14

Theren jumps down from the wagon and draws his wand, pointing it at the remaining orc. "There's still one in the tree. I'll try to put it to sleep." Theren moves a few steps closer and quickly weaves a pattern in the air with the wand, and says "Somnus."

Spoiler: OOC

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Cast Sleep on the orc.

Sleep: (5d8)[30]

[ThurlRavenscrof]

The orc drops sleeping from the tree like a rock, crumpling onto the ground like a doll.
Gravity damage (3d10)[12]

[ThurlRavenscrof]

The party can see that he's barely alive and waking up

[AssaultMage]

Aureus strides forwards towards the fallen orc and moves to finish him with his sword. He keeps his shield raised and ready for any other comers, and trusts Theren, the elf, and Mark to watch over him from afar. He knows Oona will be close by as well. Recognizing the need for strategy, he yells out, "Oona, defend the cart and the boys! Theren, Val, watch our backs! Mark, just...
chip in where you can!" The illusory duplicate was a good move. Hopefully the shifty cleric had more tricks up his sleeve.

Aureus: HP: 22/22 AC: 19 (shield ready)

Spoiler: OOC

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Aureus rolls to attack the fallen Orc (1d20+5)[8], with (1d8+3)[9] damage. May have a bonus due to him having fallen?

[AssaultMage]

(sorry for the delay again!)

Attack 2:(1d20+5)[12] Damage: (1d8+3)[8]

[ThurlRavenscrof]

Aureus swings into the ground as the half dead orc rolls away. He jumps to his feet and launches an attack at the armored man in return.
Arrows begin flying out from the trees and the party notices the remaining archers responsible for them. 3 of them remain in the trees now. 2 come for the half orc who killed their leader and one for the unarmored sun elf beside her.

Spoiler: Rolls

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great axe on aureus (1d20+5)[10] (1d12+3)[9]
arrows on oona (1d20+3)[11](1d8+1)[5](1d20+3)[10](1d8+1)[9]
arrow on jacob (1d20+3)[21](1d8+1)[7]

[ThurlRavenscrof]

Jacob crumples lifeless on the ground. His hat rolls off and the illusion of Val disappears - leaving only his true form and an arrow through his neck.

[scalyfreak]

Oona reflexively lifts her shield as she hears bow strings twang. Jacob falling beside her is ignored for now, as she keeps her shield at the ready and draws her sword. A quick glance tells her that following Aureus's order to defend the cart and people in it will leave him alone against four orcs, so she stays where she's at for now. And switches to orcish.

"You missed me! I killed your leader, and you're just hiding up there like cowards! Worthless dog ****s who can't do anything right!"

Oona slowly takes a few steps forward, placing her armored self and her shield in front of the fallen orc and teenager, and switches back to the common human tongue. "Mark, Val, bring them down!"


AC: 19
HP:28/28

[JbeJ275]

Bit busy saving lives here Oona.

With that Mark dashes closer to Oona and casts Spare the dying on Jacob's body, with a backhand he gestures to the glowing longsword letting it fly 20ft towards the orc archers.

[scalyfreak]

"That works too." Oona nods, her eyes never leaving the orcs in the trees, and shifts position again. Just a few steps this time, that keep her firmly in the line of fire between the orc archers and Mark. "Stay behind me. There's archers." There's a hint of a smirk in her voice, as if she finds it a bit humorous that a second un-armored member of their little group has run within reach of the deadly arrows.

[ThurlRavenscrof]

Oona hears an Orcish reply shouted back at her from the trees. "Give us one of your dead for Gruumsh, half-human! Then you can go!" The voice is harsh and completely lacking in empathy or tact.

[scalyfreak]

"Come get him!" Oona shouts back with the same lack of tact, and language, as the archer in the tree. Her stance and the way she holds her sword make it more than clear that anyone who wants the corpse she and now Mark are guarding, needs to go through her first.

Spoiler

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Holding my action until someone comes close enough to attack, at which point I'll do so, which will end my second turn.

[Desril]

With nothing better to do, Val glares up toward the archers, moving to a better vantage point if necessary, and unleashes another barrage of arcane energy.

Spoiler

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Not sure if I have line of sight to them, so moving closer to the archers if necessary to get a clear shot, then Eldritch Blast (1d20+5)[6]
Damage (1d10+3)[4]

[ThurlRavenscrof]

Val watches as her arcane blast sails comically into a nearby tree.
James remains hidden in the cart.
Jacob is breathing now, though still remains unconscious.

[AssaultMage]

Aureus neatly deflects the Orc's swing with his shield and presses the attack.

Spoiler: OOC

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Attack: (1d20+5)[24] Damage: (1d8+3)[10]