Villainous Poetry

[ruy343]

I've got a villain (named Odrik the Mindslaver) that I want to have stand out in the minds of the players. He's a wizard (5th edition, enchanter subclass; but that's not really relevant), and his mind has been shaped by an aboleth to do its bidding (i.e. not nice things).

I want this villain to have a variety of poems at his disposal, which he recites whenever he feels like taunting the players. I've been digging around online for a while now for short villainous poems along the topics of insanity, slavery, and general villainy, and I've had some success, but I would really like some help.

If you know of a poem (or a section/stanza of a poem) that a villain would recite (either in triumph or failure), would you be kind enough to post it here (with credit to the original author, as would be appropriate)? I'd be happy to compile the responses here into a google doc for others to use for your their respective villains if you'd like.

Thanks in advance!

[TheYell]

Paradise Lost

Richard III

He chanted a song of wizardry,
Of piercing, opening, of treachery,
Revealing, uncovering, betraying.
Then sudden Felagund there swaying
sang in answer a song of staying,
Resisting, battling against power,
Of secrets kept, strength like a tower,
And trust unbroken, freedom, escape;
Of changing and of shifting shape,
Of snares eluded, broken traps,
The prison opening, the chain that snaps,
Backwards and forwards swayed their song.
Reeling and foundering, as ever more strong
The chanting swelled, Felagund fought,
And all the magic and might he brought,
Of Elvenesse into his words.
Softly in the gloom they heard the birds
Singing afar in Nargothrond,
The sighing of the sea beyond,
Beyond the western world, on sand,
On sand of pearls in Elvenland.
Then the gloom gathered; darkness growing
In Valinor, the red blood flowing
Beside the sea, where the Noldor slew
The Foamriders, and stealing drew
Their white ships with their white sails
From lamplit havens. The wind wails,
The wolf howls. The ravens flee.
The ice mutters in the mouths of the sea.
The captives sad in Angband mourn,
Thunder rumbles, the fires burn-
And Finrod fell before the throne.

JRR Tolkien, the Silmarillion (Sauron beats an Elf-King in a sorcerous duel)

[Jay R]

Read lots of Shakespeare and other iambic poetry in the few days leading up to it, and then compose doggerel on the spot. It's not as hard as it sounds, and if you sprinkle in PC names and other topical details, it sounds great.

When I do this, I often have some generic bad-guy threatening lines in reserve.

[BWR]

You aren't truly villainous until you go this far.

[TheYell]

Or you could go a slightly different route and still be memorable.

[Blymurkla]

I suspect your players might be a tad bit bored if you launch into long poetry monologues. Now, I don't think you will. But maybe you and your players will have different definitions of 'long'.

So, as an alternative (or probably more of a complement) maybe the villan references famous poems and famous poets. »I don't think even the great Gandly could describe a face as ugly as yours!« (if you want an insult), »Like the eponymous man of The trials of Tergaloth I will now complete my life’s work« (if the villain is boasting about his plans).

I don't now, thought I'd vent the idea ^^

[Angrith]

One of my favorites is from Edgar Allan Poe, the Conquering Worm:

Lo! ’t is a gala night
Within the lonesome latter years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
The music of the spheres.

Mimes, in the form of God on high,
Mutter and mumble low,
And hither and thither fly—
Mere puppets they, who come and go
At bidding of vast formless things
That shift the scenery to and fro,
Flapping from out their Condor wings
Invisible Wo!

That motley drama—oh, be sure
It shall not be forgot!
With its Phantom chased for evermore
By a crowd that seize it not,
Through a circle that ever returneth in
To the self-same spot,
And much of Madness, and more of Sin,
And Horror the soul of the plot.

But see, amid the mimic rout,
A crawling shape intrude!
A blood-red thing that writhes from out
The scenic solitude!
It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pangs
The mimes become its food,
And seraphs sob at vermin fangs
In human gore imbued.

Out—out are the lights—out all!
And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
While the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”
And its hero, the Conqueror Worm.

The last two stanzas especially I think might be useful. The second to last as he summons/introduces a big scary monster, and the final just as he thinks he will win before the PC's take him down.

[N810]

There is always the epicly evil vorgon poetry from hichhikers guide to the galaxy:

Vogon poetry is, of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", four of the audience members died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own large intestine - in a desperate attempt to save life itself - leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.

==Excerpt==
:Relax mind.
:Relax body.
:Relax bowels.
:Relax.
:Do not fall over.
:You are a cloud.
:You are raining.
:Do not rain.
:While train.
:Is standing at a station.
:Move with the wind.
:Apologise where necessary.

or

==An Example==
:''Oh freddled gruntbuggly,''
:''Thy micturations are to me,''
:''As plurdled gabbleblotchits,''
:''On a lurgid bee,''
:''That mordiously hath blurted out,''
:''Its earted jurtles, grumbling''
:''Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]''
:''Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,''
:''Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,''
:''And living glupules frart and stipulate,''
:''Like jowling meated liverslime,''
:''Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,''
:''And hooptiously drangle me,''
:''With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.''
:''Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,''
:''See if I don't!''

[BWR]

There is always the epicly evil vorgon poetry from hichhikers guide to the galaxy:

Vogon poetry is, of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", four of the audience members died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own large intestine - in a desperate attempt to save life itself - leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.

==Excerpt==
:Relax mind.
:Relax body.
:Relax bowels.
:Relax.
:Do not fall over.
:You are a cloud.
:You are raining.
:Do not rain.
:While train.
:Is standing at a station.
:Move with the wind.
:Apologise where necessary.

or

==An Example==
:''Oh freddled gruntbuggly,''
:''Thy micturations are to me,''
:''As plurdled gabbleblotchits,''
:''On a lurgid bee,''
:''That mordiously hath blurted out,''
:''Its earted jurtles, grumbling''
:''Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]''
:''Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,''
:''Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,''
:''And living glupules frart and stipulate,''
:''Like jowling meated liverslime,''
:''Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,''
:''And hooptiously drangle me,''
:''With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.''
:''Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,''
:''See if I don't!''

I'm so pleased to see people read my posts.

*runs off crying*

[N810]

Oops missed that, you totally Ninjaed me on that one.

[comicshorse]

" He who fights and runs away
May live to fight another day "

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64nvb2QUXt4

[Bohandas]

I've got a villain (named Odrik the Mindslaver) that I want to have stand out in the minds of the players. He's a wizard (5th edition, enchanter subclass; but that's not really relevant), and his mind has been shaped by an aboleth to do its bidding (i.e. not nice things).

I want this villain to have a variety of poems at his disposal, which he recites whenever he feels like taunting the players. I've been digging around online for a while now for short villainous poems along the topics of insanity, slavery, and general villainy, and I've had some success, but I would really like some help.

You don't want to be looking for things that are presented as poems. You want to be looking for heavy metal (and punk and rap) song lyrics

Spoiler: Go To Hell by GWAR

Show

The halls of our keep rock with ruin and war
The walls cry and crumble, Broken the sword.
The tombs and the tomes. The world's honeycombed.
We must possess the underearth.

Down, down, down

Toll the bell, we're going to hell!
Here we seek the fruit of creation.
Bloodstained wine. It sweetens our time
Here we seek the final salvation

Go to hell!

I'm headed to the promised land
Swam boiling surf, trod bloody bloody sand
As pissed-off pilgrims we'll travel below
And seek the finest filth that hell can bestow

A realm of madness, the cringing of queens
A realization, the crushing of dreams
The worm-gnawed fruit of all your pretty schemes
Between heaven and hell all is not what it seems

From what I've heard it's a pretty cool place
A sea of urine where rats eat your face
And a sadist like me can pursue his vocation
I'm goin' to hell because I need a vacation

We're gonna go to hell!
Toll the bell, we're goin' to hell!
Here we see the fruit of creation
Writing in slime. Blood sweetens our time
Here we seek our final salvation

The lies they told you
Laid the foundation for this place
The book that they sold you
Worship this god but do not look at his face
Beneath our keep the tunnels run so deep
To reclaim our right. We retreat from this fight
And enter now the land of the dead

Toll the bell! We're going to hell!
Here we seek the fruit of creation
Blood-stained wine. It sweetens our time
Here we seek the final salvation

Is this what you fear?
That the sum of your life will leave you here?
Or do you think when you die you are done?
The pain of your death has only just begun
I'm headed now to join the damned
Into the oven the dead souls are jammed
We come for the master, the king of the cruel
This is the place where it is better to rule

You're seeking heaven but you're not allowed in
Your soul is falling and you never can win
The game is fixed but there's no one to blame
Because Heaven and hell - They are one and the same

All abandon.
Abandon all your hope, ye who enter here
And you can go to hell!

Spoiler: When You're Evil by Voltaire Hernandez

Show

when the devil is too busy
and death's a bit too much
they call on me by name you see
for my special touch
to the gentleman i'm Miss Fortune
to the ladies i'm Sir Prise
but call me by any name
any way it's all the same

i'm the fly in your soup
i'm the pebble in your shoe
i'm the pea beneath your bed
i'm the bump on every head
i'm the peel on which you slip
i'm the pin in every hip
i'm the thorn in your side
makes you wriggle and writhe

and it's so easy when you're evil
this is the life you see
the devil tips his hat to me
i do it all because i'm evil
and i do it all for free
your tears are all the pay i'll ever need

while there's children to make sad
while there's candy to be had
while there's pockets left to pick
while there's grannies left to trip -
-down the stairs; i'll be there
i'll be waiting round the corner
it's a game i'm glad i'm in it
cuz there's one born every minute

and it's so easy when you're evil
this is the life you see
the devil tips his hat to me
i do it all because i'm evil
and i do it all for free
your tears are all the pay i'll ever need

i pledge my allegience to all things dark
and i promise on my damned soul
to do as i am told
for beelzebub has never seen
a soldier quite like me
not only does his job but does it happily

i'm the fear that keeps you wake
i'm the shadows on the wall
i'm the monsters they become
i'm the nightmare in your skull
i'm the dagger in your back
an extra turn upon the rack
i'm the quivering of your heart
a stabbing pain, a sudden start

and it's so easy when you're evil
this is the life you see
the devil tips his hat to me
i do it all because i'm evil
and i do it all for free
your tears are all the pay i'll ever need

Spoiler: Decay of Grandeur by GWAR

Show

Lights fade, all is shade
Zombies stalk the promenade
This is promise of eternity
Piles of dead, impaled head
Steaming peat is wretched red
They say history is written in such ways

Trust in rust, dirt and dust
Worms awaiting all of us
At least that's what I heard
Crows soar, lions roar
Chaos rules forevermore
(The human race is the only X factor)

The decay of grandeur
From riches to rot
The decay of grandeur say
To have and then have not

Kings crouch, the throne is doomed
Assassins reach the inner room
The jester has become the interloper
The Queen is struck, then runs amuck
Her carriage wallows in the muck
The cemetery was moved indoors

Decay of grandeur
From riches to rot
The decay of grandeur say
To have and then have not

Some say we have lost our reason
Some say we have lost our minds
Spinning in the blackest wisdom
Coveting the darkest wine
I say have your host amongst us
And there you tarry for a time
All your virtue shall desert you
Decaying grandeur, box of pine

First the sound, and then the smell
Sonorous the eldritch bell
Send you to the seven hells in time

Decay of grandeur
From riches to rot
The decay of grandeur say
To have and then have not
In time, in time, in time, in time...Decay

Spoiler: Mister Happy by ICP

Show

I'm kind of fat and I sweat a lot,
But that's the only bad quirky things that I got.
That, and maybe the whole murdering aspect,
But we ain't even really got to that yet.

I love people, I love everything about them,
And that's why I gotta live life without them.
I know it don't make any sense to you, but **** you,
This song is about me, exclusively.

Murder, Murderous, Murderation,
A murdering mentality without an explanation.
I'm Mr. Happy and I ride a bike (ding!),
It ain't got a seat, I just sit on the pipe thing.

I'll whistle, I sing, I'll pet your poodle.
I'll twist and squeeze your neck like a wet noodle.
'Cause I'm so happy I'll stab your ***,
And lay down next to you, dead on the grass,
And say: "Oh it feels so good, every time I murder I get happy!"

I love you, so hand me your neck
Let me teach you about love and respect
RESPECT THE FACT THAT I LOVE TO KILL!!!!!
...Wait a minute ya'll I gotta take my pill
(Zanoffs. It works. I'm down to only 3 people a day...)

My victims, I give them love and care
I don't want to get blood everywhere
I don't use a chainsaw, or a butcher knife,
That's so 90's, get it right

I never mutilate or chop my loves
All I really need is a pair of gloves
Or maybe a car, I'll run 'em down with it
I know that can be messy, but the birds will get it
Don't you see that I love you fat idiots

I'm Mr. Happy, I'm all about fun,
Now get in the pit and try to kill someone!

Spoiler: If I Was A Serial Killer by ICP

Show

[Violent J]
If I was a Serial Killer
They would find all my victim's heads
In funky ol' gas station toilets
And if I was a Serial Killer
I would be strange and deranged
And I would never change

If I was a Serial Killer
I'd be known as the smoker
Cause I'd cut off and smoke all they hair
and if I was a Serial Killer
I would sleep on broken glass and thumbtacks
and I would smoke mad crack

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
First thing I would do is kill a couple hotties
They'd always get some mustard up decapitated bodies
Dumped on State police law just before dawn
To let em know my ritual had begun
I'd crack a 40 with the devil tell him dig me a hole
cause I'm coming when I die until them I'm in control
This is if I was a Serial Killer and though I ain't
but if I was I'd do my walls all blood red with blood paint
This is if I was a Serial Killer and though I ain't
But if I was I'd never stop cause I know I can't
...
[Violent J]
If I was a Serial Killer
I would bury all my special projects
underneath the garden in my grandmother's backyard
And if I was a Serial Killer
I would be strange and deranged
And I would rock my hatchet chain

Spoiler: Go Into the Water by Dethklok

Show

We reject our earthly fires
Gone are days of land empires
Lungs transform to take in water
Cloaked in scales we swim and swim on

We are alive, and we'll metamorphasize
And we'll sink as we devolve back to beasts
Our home is down here, and we've known this for years
We must conquer from the sea, we build an army with water steeds

We'll rise, from our depths down below
Release yourselves, drown with me
We will conquer land with water

We reject our earthly fires
Gone are days of land empires
Lungs transform to take in water
Cloaked in scales we swim and swim on

Spoiler: Awaken (Mustakrakish The Lake Troll) by Dethklok

Show

(The time has come, to awaken him.

I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld,
To bring forth this beast and,)

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Take the land, that must be taken.
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep,
Break forth from your grave eternally.

I command you to rise, rise, rise, rise,
rise, rise, rise, rise.

I'm the conjurer of demons,
I'm the father of your death.

I bring forth the ancient evil,
I control his every breath.

I instigate your misfortune,
With the birth of killing trolls.

I awaken armageddon,
Feeding on a thousand souls.

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Take the land, that must be taken.
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep,
Break forth from your grave eternally.

Weak will die and land will all be burned
Mustakrakish king and death to worlds.

I command you to rise

Spoiler: Doctor Evil by They Might Be Giants

Show

Evil, evil is his one and only name
Evil, in his mind there is no other game!

When your name is Evil, that is good or so you think,
but you're so very wrong.
It's evil!

But being wrong is right, so then you're good again,
which is the evilest thing of all...

Do you find his subtle ways, invite you? does he excite you?
If his contradictions should atract you, should he distract you....

Heaven help you then,
You're finished, it's the end,
There'll be no retrieval,
From the evil...

The evil he will do.
He's evil.
He's Doctor Evil.
His name is Evil.

Spoiler: Slave Ship by Darkest of the Hillside Thickets

Show

Off in the distance rises up a mighty roar
I look around to see I'm not touching the floor
I'm just a pawn in ancient pan-galactic wars
To mine the Ether Ore is my eternal chore
Not here, not now, not any more
I'm tired and my head is sore

Asteroids live and breathe, and planets fall in love
Bat-beings groan and seem to fit you like a glove

Traverse Orion's leg in the blink of an eye
Warm hands at dying suns and boiling midnight skies

No day or night, eternal vacuum hard and cold
I slave where 'time' means 'growing old'

Slave ship, we're on another run
Into the dying sun!

Spoiler: We Kill Everything by GWAR

Show

In hulking halls of hatred where the master makes his throne
Beyond the asteroid belt, where his body floats alone
His mind begins to wander the worm begins to turn
All life he must now squander the universe must burn
He plans eternal war, as the eternal way
But now there is a force which even he must obey

Time and the events within, chronicles of hate and sin
Everything, it has a start, but the end is always the best part

Our quest - to find the broken bits
Put them back and make them fit
And once that we have read the end
The tablet will blow up again [X4]

And we'll kill everything [X3]
Including ourselves

Summoning the Master
Call his form most vile
Champing mass of questing flesh
Protoplasmic pile
Ancient hunger, never filled until the universe is killed
The endless host of merging soul
Sucked into the feeding hole
Guts and giblets cascade down
Rectal *******, flattened ground
Please pay attention to the plot
As I kick out this monster's snot
Splitting skulls and raking ribs,
Trephinated drainage sieve
Protruding mass of reeking bile
Which forms infected booger pile
Assemble now the tablet
Hope that it's not Braille
Bring forth now the Master
So we can end this tale
And we'll kill everything [X3]
Especially ourselves

Transmogrify your plasmic swarm
Evaporate before time's storm
And dedicate your life to porn
And dedicate your life to porn

You think that life has a reason?
You think your god has a soul?
I bare my bum to the heavens I think a head is a hole.
And we'll kill everything [X3]
Including ourselves

Spoiler: Apes of Wrath by GWAR

Show

Flecked with gore I face you
My hide is writhing with worms
I come from the place where the Flesh Sculptors pile
Wretched creations born of blood and bile

The creatures that lived here
And now held in our thrall
The mayor and his cronies
Have been nailed to the wall
This pattern of violence
It hinges on fate
The seal of your coffin
You found out to late

The Apes of Wrath!
The Apes of Wrath!

I am the ruler
The mutilator of dreams
All life falls apart at the seams

The creatures that lived here
And now held in our thrall
The mayor and his cronies
Have been nailed to the wall
This pattern of violence
Hinges on fate
The seal of your coffin, you
Found out to late

The Apes of Wrath!
The Apes of Wrath!

Prepare yourselves for violence
A spinning, flailing mass
Tips are jocked, jaws are clocked, we sit back and laugh
Spitting bloody chicklets, veins are bulging from their throat
The blood fills a moat
You must fight with boats
Trying to express your rage
You must use your fists
Personality dissolves in a
In a red and raging mist

The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath!
The Apes of Wrath! The Apes of Wrath!

I am the ruler
Mutilator of dreams
Truth be told, I enjoy the role
Illicitor of screams

Spoiler: Abyss of Woe (Violence Has Arrived) by GWAR

Show

After the carnage steam rises through snow
You have been consigned to the Abyss of Woe
My eldritch war-suit is pasted with brains
This empty feeling - all that remains

RED WITH RAGE
I abide in the pit of woe
(Red with rage)
Crucified in the Abyss of Woe
And for my crime, this is my time
My unholy...crime

The cycle of torment the pleasure of sin
Licking the lap where my load must begin
I rode a tide of vengeance that could never be denied
Hail the crimson blur - violence has arrived!

RED WITH RAGE
I abide in the pit of woe
(Red with rage)
Crucified in the Abyss of Woe
And for my crime, this is my time
My unholy crime

The trail of our campaign attracted great scorn
But we ventured onward through the Tundra of Tor
Soon I had attracted a posse of trolls
Who'd grown fat and sloppy from the roasting of souls...

But we were surrounded at the Valley of Krin
And it was a battle we never could win
But still I hacked madly with my back to the wall
Heeding the horn of my funeral call

The mutilated millions I was born to appall
Heads leap from shoulders as they flock the mall
The Butcher of Bertok, The Infernal Throne
Laid waste to usurpers 'till I stood all alone

Ripped out guts
Gouged out eyes
If you kill them
They will die

RED WITH RAGE

Spoiler: Immortal Corruptor by GWAR

Show

Centuries of carnage
Centuries of chaos yet unfolding
A planet built on bone
Spinning in a space
Unmolded

Armies are arrayed
Like toys on tabletops it's almost funny
Bodies raped and flayed
The sea is red with blood the sky is sunny

Immortal!
Corrupter!

Your entrails are displayed
Upon a rack we break the bones within you.
Your fighters are dismayed
and wonder if it is wise to continue
to resist my will.
The babies that I bake fill a volcano.
I'm clogging up the kill.
My wretched baby paste requires Drano.

I'm out of my mind
Immortal Corrupter
Malignance defined
Chew the womb,
seal the tomb,
leave the dead behind
Immortal Corrupter
Dagger of the mind

The betrayer is enraged
His mask is gone his crimson hauberk cloven
His brains they are arrayed
Amongst the ruin of the lies he'd spoken

Immortal!
Corrupter!

I'm out of my mind
Immortal Corrupter
Malignance defined
I'm out of my mind
Immortal Corrupter
Dagger of the mind

Spoiler: Mack the Knife by Kurt Weill, Elizabeth Hauptmann, and Bertolt Brecht

Show

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
But he shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old Macheath, babe
And he keeps it out of sight

You know when that shark bites with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, though, wears old Macheath, babe
So there's never, never a trace of red

Now on the sidewalk, ooh, sunny morning, uh-huh
Lies a body just oozin' life
And someone's sneaking 'round the corner
Could that someone be Mack the Knife?

There's a tugboat down by the river
Where a cement bag's just a-droopin' on down
That cement's just, there for the weight, dear
Five'll get ya ten, old Macky's back in town

And Schmul Meyer, is still missing
Like so many wealthy men:
Mack the Knife has got his cash box.
God alone knows how or when.

Jenny Towler turned up lately
With a knife stuck through her breast
While Macheath walks the Embankment
Nonchalantly unimpressed.

Where is Alfred Gleet the cabman?
Who can get that story clear?
All the world may know the answer
Just Macheath has no idea.

And the ghastly fire in Soho -
Seven children at a go -
In the crowd stands Mack the Knife, but
He's not asked and doesn't know

Spoiler: War Party by GWAR

Show

I hear your body burning
A piping and piteous sound
The crows all tear apart your corpse
after the flames have gone down
You're dragged through the streets
With a chain 'round your neck
Hung from a bridge on the outskirts of town
They never find your head

Come and join the War Party
And see exotic lands
Your blood has stained the desert sands
Your blood is running through your hands

Still you expect pity
And you shall recieve none
Why did death come hard for you
You gave it to some
You joined the War Party
Your purpose was clear
You did your job with skill, you raped and you killed
Why so surprised that you finally got billed?

You put the gun to your shoulder
You put lead through a brain
You left bodies to molder
You spread havoc and pain
They will call you a hero
I call you an ignorant slave
Because before you died you acted surprised
So soon you were shown to your grave

Come now and join the War Party
And see exotic lands
Your blood has stained the desert sands
Your blood is running through your hands

All men die
So don't ask why
What the hell else did you think you were for?
You were made to decay
It's better that way
This is the price of your war

Spoiler: Dead Body Man by ICP

Show

[Violent J]
Dead bodies, dead bodies all over the street
Fifty-five, sixty-five bodies at least
I hang with the stiffs till the break of dawn
I'm always finding bodies when I'm mowing the lawn
Drag em in the house, throw em in the oven
Wicked clown lovin that dead body gloven
Tastes like chicken finger lickin deep fried
I ate a dead body, but don't tell, I lied
I just ate my first dead body last week
Still gots the finger nail caught in my teeth
Before you start yelling and cursing my name
Remember something's wrong with my brain, insane
Second I was born, doctor threw me 'gainst the wall
Kicked open the door and he whipped me down the hall
I'm sliding and I'm bouncing off **** like a hockey puck
And my mother's like "What the heck?!"
He said I was born of an alien race
Born with a hatchet and a juggalo face
But I'm not a martian, you wouldn't understand
I'm just the dead body man

[v.o.]
"We got bodies, dead bodies
We got fat ones, skinny ones
Males, females, hermaphrodites
We got somebodies, we got nobodies
Bodies, bodies, bodies, woo!"

[Violent J]
Dead bodies, dead bodies in the back of my van
All the little kiddies love the dead body man
I drive through my neighborhood ringing my bell
Some people run cuz they don't like the smell
Others line up just as quick as they can
To try and catch a glimpse of the dead body man

Spoiler: What A Friend We Have in Cthulhu by Consortium of genius feat. Rt.Rev.Ivan Stang

Show

Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
Then rip your eyes out so you cannot see

I was feeling down and dejected
And every day felt more like a curse
Then I thought about the horror
That sleeps deep beneath the waters
And remembered it could get much worse

Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll rip your eyes out so you cannot see

So just how big a friend is Cthulhu?
He's unlike any friend you've ever known
Though he's bigger than a house, he's as quiet as a mouse
Till he comes the rip the flesh right from your bones

Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll rip your eyes out so you cannot see

Now deep within his house at R'lyeh
Dead Cthulhu dreams while waiting for the hour
When he'll rise out of the brine, and come forth to crush your spine
As he shambles forth to show the world his pow'r


Now people, everybody testify before Cthulhu!
girl: I just broke up with my cheating slimeball husband, and I'm waiting for Cthulhu to come back and fix him and his lousy, no good...
guy: Well, actually I didn't used to be able to walk. But, now I can... RUN!!!!


He'll fix all of your problems in a heartbeat
Even if your life's a total mess
Both your mortgage and divorce
Will be washed away of course
With whatever you still owe the IRS

So if you can make friends with Cthulhu
He's the antithesis of all life (he thinks we're scum)
If you see him you'll go deaf
Right before you lose your breath
And cut your ears off with a carving knife

Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally (no not at all)
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll gouge your eyes out so you cannot...
Tear your eyes out so you cannot....
Rip your eyes out so you cannot see

Spoiler: The Witch by ICP

Show

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
The witch jumped on my back last night, I couldn't breathe
In it's clutch, I was frozen with fright
It went on for, what seemed like hours of terror
To see the witches face, stare in the dark at the mirror

[Violent J]
The witch told me, my girlfriend was a demon
And all this fallin' in love crap, I'm dreamin'
And it's pain to the angels, if I don't deliver
Sealed her off in a barrel, and rolled her in a river

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
The witch told me, my left arm is possessed
So I broke it at first, and then I went and confessed
But they put me in a home, my arm still wouldn't leave me alone
Finally had to chew it off at the bone

[Violent J]
The witch told me, to crawl under my house and just wait
Don't panic if I suffocate
I bit the tail off a oppossum down there at one point
It's so boring, and it's dark but the witch is my light

[Chorus]
Something is standing between me and my sanity!
They say my witch is a dream, morbid fantasy!
I say wake the dead, wake the dead, wake em'!
WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE EM'!
I say wake the dead, wake the dead, wake em'!
WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE EM'!

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
The witch taught me, how to cut up a body
It's nasty and wretched, and hella bloody
But it's gotta get done, and somebody's gotta do it
I kick the bloody face in, and I put my knife through it

[Violent J]
The witch jumped on me again, here we go
Layin' in my bed, I can't breathe anymo'
Layin' in my bed, I can't move anymo'
There's a demon floating in my face, clampin' my jaw

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
The witch told me, I gotta murder this one kid
K, well, maybe the witch didn't then, but I did
With a ninja suit, crept through like a black widow
with the crossbow, stuck him in the neck like ditto

[Violent J]
The witch told me, about blood that rains
Out of the neck, and what particular veins
And about murder witnessin', death settin' in
And it ain't no heaven, that's lettin' me in

[Chorus]
Something is standing between me and my sanity!
They say my witch is a dream, morbid fantasy!
I say wake the dead, wake the dead, wake em'!
WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE EM'!
I say wake the dead, wake the dead, wake em'!
WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE EM'!

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
The witch told me, to put my feet in the fire
And hold on, til everything below the knees gone
Now I'm in a wheelchair, with only an arm but don't care
I can still throw my hatchet in the air

[Violent J]
The witch got me, in a predicament, it ain't good
I got somebody head posted on my hood
4:30 a.m. and we rollin' through the ghetto
Shaggy ridin' shotgun, and the witch is in the middle

[Chorus]
Something is standing between me and my sanity!
They say my witch is a dream, morbid fantasy!
I say wake the dead, wake the dead, wake em'!
WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE EM'!
I say wake the dead, wake the dead, wake em'!
WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE THE DEAD! WAKE EM'!

Spoiler: The Water God (Murmaider 2) by Dethklok

Show

The gods watch over you
And they consider what you've done...

But now you've hidden away
Regained your strength
Deep in a cave
Your power is regained

And your legacy has spread
To the deepest of the sea
The one that brought them vengeance
That fights for his belief

He can swim through matter
He has poisoned teeth
His tentacles have murdered
His scream can kill the weak

He's got
Explosives
Check
Corrosives
Check

A master of the art of murder
Mermaids weep the blackened tears

So you swim to a sunken ship
Invited by a soul who bleeds from the lips
This prophet who beckons you wades in the dark
Speaks an ancient language this language is of sharks

He says 'you are the one that I decree
The one that can save us and set us free
You've gained the power of a deity
You have the strength to wake us from this sleep'

And so you swim on
And so you swim on
Keep swimming now

And the prophet gives to you this warning
'If this path is chosen you'll be met with strife
For you will be seen as an enemy of the sacred
And the gods will curse you for the rest of your life'

And you say:
'I get by just fine'
Check
'I've known much worse life'
Check
'I've conquered dark times'
Check
'They should fear my mind'
Check

So now you know then go then
Swim on through the cold then
Harness your strength
Because one day you may be called
To meet the mighty gods
Deep within the ocean
And if you're not prepared
Your soul will not be spared

Your eyes have gone black
You'll never look back
You'll never stop swimming
You'll always be tracked

Your life has transformed
Your power has grown
Your minions stretch for leagues
From your bloodied coral throne

A crown of murdered foes
Will sit upon your head
Those that wish to challenge you
Will wish that they were dead

The beasts of the sea will collect and submit
Pray for your forgiveness and live as you permit

And you say:

I am the water god

You will bow to the water god
You will live for the water god
And you will die for the water god

Live for the water god
Die for the water god

And the deities loom nearer

Spoiler: Jagermonsta by GWAR

Show

If you look at it you'll get drunk
The frothing mass of filthy chunk
The bloodshot eye and boiling spew
To kick the butts of stupid little punks like you

Seeking ancient wisdom, drinking with the gods
Rolling in the gutter, craving bloated bloody scrod
Where it came from none can say
Though they do so anyway
Memories of brain-cells lost
Promote a drunken holocaust

Try - to tame the fury of the Jagermonsta
Try - you drink, you die

Drinking, stinking, falling down
Acting like a brainless clown
A drunk who got what he deserved
At least his corpse is well-preserved

The Jagermonster comes to slay
By making you get drunk today
Then drive your car until it skids
Into a short bus of short bus kids
Who burn alive, you drunken ****
and then get hit by another truck
Leave bleeding morons in the dirt
The funny thing is you're not hurt
The cops don't come, you get away
You'll live to drink another day...
Hooray!

Every stupid thing I do
the Jagermonster tells me to

Bring forth now the virgin,
Soon her flesh to flay.
What, she's not a virgin?
Well, let's kill her anyway.
That means we can screw her
And screw her we will.
Then we will go get drunk and find
Someone else to kill!

Drunken vengence from the grave
Hooves are flailing, nailing slaves
Beware the power of the Jagermonster!

Spoiler: The Killer Rap from Scary Movie 1

Show

...
I'm a Denny's surprise
I'll scoop out both of your eyes
Na, na, na, na
Scrape the meat off your thighs
Leave your carcass for flies
Cause everyone who meets up with me
In the end
Eventually dies
...
I'm a badass killer
There ain't nobody iller
You're ice cold dead
Cause I'm the bloody chiller

I'm gonna slice and dice
Cause murder's my vice
I'll stab you once or twice
Maybe even thrice

Carve initials in your liver
Make you quiver
Deliver
Yeah, that'd be nice

I'll dissect your heart
Rip your entrails apart
Hack off your head
And that's just the start
...
I promise you pain
I'm totally insane
I promise you pain
I'm totally insane
I promise you pain
I'm totally insane

Now let me tell ya once again:

I'm the badass killer
There ain't nobody iller
You're ice cold dead
Cause I'm the bloody chiller

[Graysire]

Fire and Ice by Robert Frost

[FreddyNoNose]

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li...ns/n8838?snl=1

[Calen]

Read lots of Shakespeare and other iambic poetry in the few days leading up to it, and then compose doggerel on the spot. It's not as hard as it sounds, and if you sprinkle in PC names and other topical details, it sounds great.

When I do this, I often have some generic bad-guy threatening lines in reserve.

I have done this, the players hated the character and have sworn to slay him.

And as Blymurkla said keep it short. I was throwing a short 4 to 6 lines at my players every round. As if the character was reciting the poem in mid combat. (It was flavored as part of his spell casting.)

[TheYell]

Of course if you're REALLY EVIL

When she was just a girl she expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep and dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl she expected the world
But it flew away from her reach and the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly

And dream of para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

She'd dream of para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

La-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I know the sun must set to rise"

This could be para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

This could be para-para-paradise
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

This could be para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

This could be para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh, oh

This could be para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

This could be para-para-paradise
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

[2D8HP]

While some class this up with Milton and Shakespeare, I'm just going to treat this as "Song quotes but Eviiiilll!

Spoiler: Pirate Jenny (Seerauber Jenny) from The Threepenny Opera by Kurt Weill

Show

You people can watch while I'm scrubbing these floors
And I'm scrubbin' the floors while you're gawking
Maybe once ya tip me and it makes ya feel swell
In this crummy Southern town
In this crummy old hotel
But you'll never guess to who you're talkin'.
No. You couldn't ever guess to who you're talkin'.

Then one night there's a scream in the night
And you'll wonder who could that have been
And you see me kinda grinnin' while I'm scrubbin'
And you say, "What's she got to grin?"
I'll tell you.

There's a ship
The Black Freighter
With a skull on its masthead
Will be coming in

You gentlemen can say, "Hey gal, finish them floors!
Get upstairs! What's wrong with you! Earn your keep here!
You toss me your tips
And look out to the ships
But I'm counting your heads
As I'm making the beds
Cuz there's nobody gonna sleep here, honey
Nobody
Nobody!

Then one night there's a scream in the night
And you say, "Who's that kicking up a row?"
And ya see me kinda starin' out the winda
And you say, "What's she got to stare at now?"
I'll tell ya.

There's a ship
The Black Freighter
Turns around in the harbor
Shootin' guns from her bow

Now
You gentlemen can wipe off that smile off your face
Cause every building in town is a flat one
This whole frickin' place will be down to the ground
Only this cheap hotel standing up safe and sound
And you yell, "Why do they spare that one?"
Yes.
That's what you say.
"Why do they spare that one?"

All the night through, through the noise and to-do
You wonder who is that person that lives up there?
And you see me stepping out in the morning
Looking nice with a ribbon in my hair

And the ship
The Black Freighter
Runs a flag up its masthead
And a cheer rings the air

By noontime the dock
Is a-swarmin' with men
Comin' out from the ghostly freighter
They move in the shadows
Where no one can see
And they're chainin' up people
And they're bringin' em to me
Askin' me,
"Kill them NOW, or LATER?"
Askin' ME!
"Kill them now, or later?"

Noon by the clock
And so still by the dock
You can hear a foghorn miles away
And in that quiet of death
I'll say, "Right now.
Right now!"

Then they'll pile up the bodies
And I'll say,
"That'll learn ya!"

And the ship
The Black Freighter
Disappears out to sea
And
On
It
Is
Me

(1928 Represent!)

Spoiler: The Mariner's Revenge Song by The Decemberists

Show

We are two mariners
Our ship's sole survivors
In this belly of a whale
It's ribs are ceiling beams
It's guts are carpeting
I guess we have some time to kill

You may not remember me
I was a child of three
And you, a lad of eighteen
But, I remember you
And I will relate to you
How our histories interweave
At the time you were
A rake and a roustabout
Spending all your money
On the whores and hounds
(Oh, oh)

You had a charming air
All cheap and debonair
My widowed mother found so sweet
And so she took you in
Her sheets still warm with him
Now filled with filth and foul disease
As time wore on you proved
A debt-ridden drunken mess
Leaving my mother
A poor consumptive wretch
(Oh, oh)

And then you disappeared
Your gambling arrears
The only thing you left behind
And then the magistrate
Reclaimed our small estate
And my poor mother lost her mind
Then, one day in spring
My dear sweet mother died
But, before she did
I took her hand as she, dying, cried:
(Oh, oh)

"Find him, find him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave"

It took me fifteen years
To swallow all my tears
Among the urchins in the street
Until a priory
Took pity and hired me
To keep their vestry nice and neat
But, never once in the employ
Of these holy men
Did I ever, once turn my mind
From the thought of revenge
(Oh, oh)

One night I overheard
The prior exchanging words
With a penitent whaler from the sea
The captain of his ship
Who matched you toe to tip
Was known for wanton cruelty
The following day
I shipped to sea
With a privateer
And in the whistle
Of the wind
I could almost hear
(Oh, oh)

"Find him, find him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave

There is one thing I must say to you
As you sail across the sea
Always, your mother will watch over you
As you avenge this wicked deed"

And then, that fateful night
We had you in our sight
After twenty months, it seemed
Your starboard flank abeam
I was getting my muskets clean
When came this rumbling from beneath
The ocean shook
The sky went black
And the captain quailed
And before us grew
The angry jaws
Of a giant whale

Don't know how I survived
The crew all was chewed alive
I must have slipped between his teeth
But, oh, what providence
What divine intelligence
That you should survive
As well as me
It gives my eye great joy
To see your eyes fill with fear
To lean in close
And I will whisper
The last words you'll hear
(Oh, oh)

Spoiler: Midnight Rambler by The Rolling Stones

Show

Did you hear about the midnight rambler
Everybody got to go
Did you hear about the midnight rambler
The one that shut the kitchen door
He don't give a hoot of warning
Wrapped up in a black cat cloak
He don't go in the light of the morning*
He split the time the cockrel crows

Talkin' about the midnight gambler
The one you never seen before
Talkin' about the midnight gambler
Did you see him jump the garden wall
Sighin' down the wind so sadly
Listen and you'll hear him moan
Talkin' about the midnight gambler
Everybody got to go
Yeah

Did you hear about the midnight rambler
Well, honey, it's no rock 'n' roll show
Well, I'm talkin' about the midnight gambler
Yeah, the one you never seen before

Well you heard about the Boston,
It's not one of those
Well, talkin' 'bout the midnight, sh,
The one that closed the bedroom door
I'm called the hit-and-run raper in anger
The knife-sharpened tippie-toe...
Or just the shoot 'em dead, brainbell jangler
You know, the one you never seen before

So if you ever meet the midnight rambler
Coming down your marble hall
Well he's pouncing like a proud black panther
Well, you can say I, I told you so
Well, don't you listen for the midnight rambler
Play it easy, as you go
I'm gonna smash down all your plate glass windows
Put a fist, put a fist through your steel-plated door

Did you hear about the midnight rambler
He'll leave his footprints up and down your hall
And did you hear about the midnight gambler
And did you see me make my midnight call

And if you ever catch the midnight rambler
I'll steal your mistress from under your nose
I'll go easy with your cold fanged anger
I'll stick my knife right down your throat, baby and it hurts!

Spoiler: Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell by The Stooges

Show

Dirty face and dirty luck
Knew right away
That I had to get my hooks in you

Yeah yeah yeah

I'm runnin' low on memories
If you want to make a buck boy
You gotta be a teasin' whore
Say yeah yeah!

I need it all baby
Thats no lie
I need a lover with an alibi

I want to fall
Into a love so sweet
Honey
Be able to blame it all
On the beat

Hot flesh and a touch of bone
Smell is in the air
But I am feelin' so alone
Ahgh ahgh
I say yeah yeah

Hallucination, true romance
I needed love
But I only lost my pants
Ahgh ahgh
And that ain't all

I'll tell you honey its a cryin' shame
All the pretty girls
Well they look the same

I want to fall
Into a love so sweet
Honey
Be able to blame it all
On the beat

Whew!

Hey! hey!

Your pretty face is going to hell
Your pretty face is going to hell
Honey honey I can tell*
Your pretty face is going to*

Hell!

Thats right baby!

Hell!!

Dirty face and dirty luck
Knew right away
That I had to get my hooks in you

I say yeah yeah yeah

I'm runnin' low on memories
If you want to make a buck boy
You gotta be a teasin' whore
And that ain't all

OW!

I need it all honey
Thats no lie
I need a lover with an alibi

I want to fall
Into a lovin' sweet
Honey
Be able to blame it all
On the beat

Whew!
Yeah! Yeah!

Your pretty face is going to hell
Your pretty face is going to hell
Honey honey I can tell
Your pretty face is going to hell
Honey baby
Know it will blow your mind
Honey honey
You're right upon it if you blow that **** up
You'll go to hell! to Hell!
Oh honey!!! whew!
When or where you want
Then baby baby you're no more
Baby baby
Baby baby

Honey baby
Don't ya fight me
Please don't ya fight me
Please don't ya fight me
Please don't ya fight me
Please honey don't ya...

Baby baby
Baby baby baby
Take a little little pill and
Run around in our famous hell
Ah honey baby
Hell hell hell
Honey:
Hell hell hell

Hell hell hell
Hell hell hell
Hell hell hell

I said honey:
Hell hell hell
Oh baby

Your pretty face is going to hell
Your pretty face is going to hell
Honey honey I can tell
Your pretty face is going to hell

Hell! hell! hell! Hell!
HELL!
HELL!
HELL!
HELL!

Spoiler: Search and Destroy by The Stooges

Show

I'm a streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm
I'm a runaway son of the nuclear A-bomb
I am the world's forgotten boy
The one who searches and destroys
Honey gotta help me please
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby, detonate for me
Oh

Look out honey, 'cause I'm using technology
Ain't got time to make no apology
Soul radiation in the dead of night
Love in the middle of a fire fight
Honey, gotta strike me blind
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby, penetrate my mind

And I'm the world's forgotten boy
The one who's searchin', searchin' to destroy
And honey I'm the world's forgotten boy
The one who's searchin', only to destroy, hey

Look out honey, 'cause I'm using technology
Ain't got time to make no apology
Soul radiation in the dead of night
Love in the middle of a fire fight
Honey, gotta strike me blind
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby, penetrate my mind

And I'm the world's forgotten boy
The one who's searchin', searchin' to destroy
And honey I'm the work's forgotten boy
The one who's searchin', only to destroy, hey

Forgotten boy, forgotten boy
Forgotten boy said, hey, forgotten boy, said
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

Spoiler: Bedazzled by the Prince of Darkness (Peter Cook, and Dudley Moore)

Show

(Ooooh, I'm bedazzled)
I don't care
(Ooooh, I'm bedazzled)

So you said
(You knock me out)

I don't want you
(You blast me off)
I don't need you
(You burn me up)
I don't love you
(You plug me in)
Leave me alone
(You switch me off)
I'm self contained
(You let me off)
Just go away

(I'm bedazzled
I'm bedazzled
I'm bedazzled)

(You glitter)
I'm fickle
(You glitter)
I'm cold
(You shiver)
I'm shallow
(You drive me wild
You drive me wild)
You fill me with inertia

(You knock me out)
Don't get excited
(You blast me off)
Save your breath
(You burn me up)
Cool it
(You plug me in)
I'm not interested
(You switch me off)
It's too much effort
(You let me off)
Don't you ever leave off?

(I'm bedazzled
I'm bedazzled
I'm bedazzled)

(You glitter)
I'm callous
(You glitter)
How dull
(You shiver)
You bore me

(I'm bedazzled
I'm bedazzled
I'm bedazzled)

I'm not available

[Pugwampy]

Instead of long poetry why not limricks ?

[Bohandas]

Spoiler: Beat You To Death by GWAR

Show

I am a throwback to primeval age
I'm easy to anger I'm quick to enrage
Get in my way and you forfeit your life
I'll orphan your children and widow your wife

Fight now! Til' there's only one left
Right now! I will lay you to rest

I am the bringer of of thunder and pain
My fists of lead fall upon you like rain
Resistence is futile your fate has been sealed
I will not stop until you have been killed

Fight now! Til' there's only one left
Right now! I will lay you to rest
Cry out! With your last dying breath
Die now! As I beat you to death

I need no weapon to bring you to heel
My fist in your face is the last thing you feel
Beg me for mercy and see what it gets you
My only real pleasure is getting to hit you

Fight now! Til' there's only one left
Right now! I will lay you to rest
Cry out! With your last dying breath
Die now! As I beat you to death

I have no room in my heart for compassion
If you piss me off I will simply start smashin'
Your pleas for reason are simply pathetic
Why waste my words when my fists are poetic

Beat you down
To the ground
Break your bones
Final blow

And blood will flow

It's clobberin' time!

I hate you I hit you
I hate you I hit you
I hate you I hit you
I beat you to death

Spoiler: Bad Company by Bad Company

Show

A company, always on the run
Destiny is the rising sun
I was born, a sixgun in my hand
Behind the gun I'll make my final stand
That's why they call me

Bad company
And I can't deny
Bad company
'Til the day I die
Oh, 'til the day I die
'Til the day I die

Rebel souls, deserters we are called
Chose a gun and threw away the Son
Now these towns, they all know our name
That sixgun sound is our claim to fame
I can hear them say

Bad company
And I won't deny
Bad, bad company
'Til the day I die
'Til the day I die

Spoiler: Face Fisted by Dethklok

Show

I am be dangerous now
Not me hurt
When stairs fell down
Me pushed by you
Me hit head
Me nose broke
Soon you be dead
Soon you be dead

So strong my face is
You punch break fingers
Kick me you're limping
Stab me you're bleeding
I am be angerous now
You throwing rock at me
Hit eye and it no hurt me
I'm strong
You're not
You're not

I'm making time for fighting
I'm clearing time for hitting
We'll meet and I will beat you
Our schedules permitting
I pick out fighting outfit
Don't want my pants too tight
Need clothes to breath to beat you
You'll be beaten down tonight

You're an ugly man
You're as dumb as sand
Your mom's slow and fat
Your mom blew a rat
You are a mistake
You have sex with cake
You think you're so tough
You're a living bluff
I will put you down
I will make you drown
I will make you bleed
I am filled with speed
I cannot feel pain
I might be insane
I am victory
I write history
Feel my fist
On your face
You hate this
I feel great

One, two, three, four
Five, six, seven, eight

So strong my face is
You punch break fingers
Kick me you're limping
Stab me you're bleeding
I am be furious now
You say the bad word at me
You pull a string and trip me
I fall down
You run
You run

I am making time for fighting
I think it's time to beat you
I think it's good decision
That I destroy and teach you
You put on very fast shoes
And try to run away
I'm very strong and fast though
You're going down today

Spoiler: Tarred And Feathered by Darkest of the Hillside Thickets

Show

Here's a story
of what I'd like to see
What I'd like to do
What I'd like to be
I have only a hatchet
Here's some injury
Let's have a cheer for fear
for blood and agony

These are the tools of my trade
I want you tarred and feathered

Here come the monsters
they know what to do
Hey, Monsters!
What can I learn from you?
You've been killing people
since the dawn of time
should I cut and clout
or should I drown and slime?

Here's a length of chain
here's a railway tie
Here's some silver fish hooks
to slip in their eyes
here's an ice pick
never let it thaw
Heres' some sandpaper to
rub their nipples raw

Here's some jellyfish
Hide them in their pockets
Here's some metal cubes and jacks
Force them in their sockets
Here's some barbed wire
Feed it up her colon
Here's an iron mallet
Keep her knuckles swollen

[Jay R]

Instead of long poetry why not limricks ?

The limerick form is not traditionally associated with menace.

[2D8HP]

The limerick form is not traditionally associated with menace.

Tell that to the poor victims of Nantucket!

[Bohandas]

Spoiler: Behind Blue Eyes by The Who

Show

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

Spoiler: Skullcrusher Mountain by Jonathan Coulton

Show

Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you've enjoyed your stay so far
I see you've met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
But I assure you he's harmless enough
He's a sweetheart, calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don't like it
What's with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don't like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet

Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere
And all the fools who live their foolish lives may find it quite explosive
But it won't mean half as much to me if I don't have you here

You know it isn't easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain
Maybe you could cut me just a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I've been patient, I've been gracious
And this mountain is covered with wolves
Hear them howling, my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet
I shouldn't kill you yet
I shouldn't kill you yet

Spoiler: Evil Genius by Momus

Show

Oh what fun it is to be
An evil genius
Best friend of Beelzebub
And Epicurus
Old Macdonald had a farm
Totally devoid of charm
Face it now your other friends
Look really tedious
Oh what fun it is to know
An evil genius

Welcome to my secret lair
My evil palace
Evil statues, evil fountains
Evil sun on evil mountains
Have an evil glass of wine
Made with malice
May I introduce my wife?
Evil Alice

Women are attracted to
The evil genius
Probing for his inner being
They find his [redacted]
His boudoir philosophy
Is such seductive sophistry
The girls will drink his Kool-Aid
When he leaves for Venus
Oh what fun it is to love
An evil genius

Who will set you dreaming in
A world that's dreamless?
Who will earth your discontent
Your stubborn meanness?
Old Rasputin had a beard
The Etruscans disappeared
Circumstantial evidence
Of evil genius
Oh what fun it is to be
An evil genius

Who will inherit the mantle of
The evil genius?
Who will take the world over
When he leaves us?
Who'll drag the world up to his level
The pedestal of subtle evil?
Don't believe in groping God
Or groupie Jesus
Oh what fun it is to be
An evil genius

Old Macdonald had a farm
There is no cause for alarm
Oh what fun it is to be
A total genius

So turn to Beelzebub
Or Zoroaster
Evil's just a way of life
So there's your answer
Criminal insanity
Is such a lovely energy
Oh what fun it is to be
An evil genius

Spoiler: Epiphany from "Sweeny Todd"

Show

Sweeny:
His throat was there beneath my hand.
I had swear I had him!
His throat was there and now he'll never come again.

Mrs. Lovett:
Easy now, hush love hush
I keep telling you whay's your rush

Sweeny:
When? Why do I wait?
You told me to wait -
Now he'll never come again.
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with ****
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one they put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

Now we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Joanna
No I'll never hold my girl to me - finished!
(shouted) Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, you sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengenance.
I will have salvation.
(shouted) Who sir, you sir?
No one in the chair, come on! Come on!
Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir - anybody.
Gentlemen don't be shy!

Not one man, no, no ten men.
Not a hundred can assuage me -
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on dishonorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

[Bohandas]

The limerick form is not traditionally associated with menace.

You could probably find some Batman comics with menacing limericks. I mean Gotham has both The Joker and The Riddler running around

[Bohandas]

Spoiler: Controller by Oingo Boingo

Show

There's someone knockin' on my door
There's someone knockin' on my door
I think they're looking for me
I think they're looking for me
Pretend there ain't nobody home
Don't make a sound; don't even move
Don't give them nothing to see
I think they're looking for me

I got to run

There's someone crawling in my yard
There's someone creeping on my roof
There's someone tapping my phone
I feel it deep in my bones
They want to probe my intuition
They want to find out what I know
Why don't they leave me alone?
Why don't they leave me alone?

I got to run

Might be the catcher
Or the controller
Can't be too careful
I take precautions
They're very clever
I got to run!

Faceless surgeons armed with razors
Cut out our imagination

Faceless surgeons armed with razors
Cut out our imagination
It's a strange thing
Deadly reason
Razors cut with such precision
Probing deep without detection
Razors never lie
But it's all right

I think they're looking for me

Spoiler: Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads

Show

I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous and I
Can't relax
I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire
Don't touch me I'm a real live wire

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

You start a conversation you can't even finish it
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed
Say something once, why say it again?

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là
Realisant mon espoir
Je me lance, vers la gloire ... OK
We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....