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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    On the "Web"

    Default Monster: The Bard's Worst Nightmare

    Fine Aberration
    Hit Dice: 6d8 (27)
    Initiative: +6
    Speed: 5 ft, Burrow 20, Swim 30
    Armor Class: (10 + 8 size + 4 NA + 6 Dex), touch , flat-footed
    Base Attack/Grapple: +12 / -13
    Attack: Bite +18
    Full Attack: Bite +18
    Damage: Bite 2d4 + disease and Drain
    Space/Reach: 1 in. X .5 in./ 0
    Special Attacks: Disease, drain
    Special Qualities: Darkvision 60, DR 10/+1, lechery, weakness,
    Saves: Fort +6, Ref +12, Will +11
    Abilities: Str 1, Dex 23, Con 11, Int 16, Wis 14, Cha 15
    Skills: Hide 9 ranks +31, Move Silently +15, Listen +11, Spot +11
    Feats: Ability Focus (Drain), Darkstalker, Weapon Finesse
    Environment: Any
    Organization: Solitary or nest (may the gods help those poor men)
    Challenge Rating: 4
    Treasure: None
    Alignment: Usually Chaotic Evil
    Level Adjustment: -

    The barmaid you've bedded welcomes you into an embrace and as you begin your lovemaking venture. You slide inside of her you feel a sharp pain followed by a burning sensation. She locks her legs around you and whispers, "Surprise, hun."

    Disease (Ex): Ball Buster: Fort Save DC 18; Inc. Time: 3d6 days; Init. Dam.: 1d4 Con; Sec. Dam.: 1d6 Dex; Ter. Dam.: Sterilization; Cure: 10 Consecutive Saves; cannot be removed with Remove Disease
    Sterilization: If you fail the third save, over the course of 1d4 days your ovaries or testicles and the appropriate tubes become smaller and then absorbed into the body to be disposed of and the skin/flesh surrounding them shrinks or grows to accommodate the shrinkage of the glands until there is no way to tell that they were there at all if they were visible. You are no longer able to produce viable offspring but can still use the reproductive organ(s) for fun times.
    Drain (Ex): You must make a fort save (DC 16) or take 1d4 Con damage. This save is Charisma based.
    Lechery (Su): While the itchlix is within a female host, the host takes a -10 penalty to all seduction attempts. Males are bitten during copulation, females have an egg placed inside of them during copulation that hatches within 1d4 hours afterwards into a itchlix.
    Weakness: If a Remove Disease spell is cast on the host, the itchlix takes 14d10 untyped damage

    This evil thing was made because I know a good number of people don't think about these sorts of things when they play bards...
    Last edited by Aniikinis; 2017-08-09 at 09:56 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quarian Rex View Post
    Sometimes you need more than well crafted crunch. Sometimes you need well crafted crunch that is playable in the game.
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Ogre in the Playground

    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Vancouver <-> Dublin

    Default Re: Monster: The Bard's Worst Nightmare

    Ha! Would fit perfectly in the Book of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.

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