City distractions

[RazorChain]

I'm looking for ideas for small scenarios in a city. The PC's are trying to uncover an assassination plot before a high profile wedding and I'm going to throw in some plot hooks for small scenarios and see if they get sidetracked.

The scene is a 13th century coastal city with plenty of crime, low fantasy.

The Player characters

A monster slayer who is interested in hunting down monsters (a la witcher)
A faerie blooded warrior, she has a soft spot for the downtrodden and empowering women.
A anachronistic viking warrior who slept in the faerie world for 3 centuries. Mostly interested in fights
A charming merchant son who loves to show off his gift for gab
A renegade mage, hellbent on finding a cure for his dying mother and is interested in all things magical.

[FreddyNoNose]

Don't forget to add in the backup plan. Perhaps the primary assassin isn't aware of a backup plan so no magic can force him to give up information. Or better yet, he falsely believes he was hired by a local to do the job but the local is just a patsy. Perhaps another guild, the thieves guild, wants this guy getting into trouble for plan and the assassins guild is doing a favor in case things go wrong...

[RazorChain]

Don't forget to add in the backup plan. Perhaps the primary assassin isn't aware of a backup plan so no magic can force him to give up information. Or better yet, he falsely believes he was hired by a local to do the job but the local is just a patsy. Perhaps another guild, the thieves guild, wants this guy getting into trouble for plan and the assassins guild is doing a favor in case things go wrong...

I like that idea, different "cells" not knowing about each other and locals who believe they have hired by somebody else just to throw the PC's off the scent.


Else I'm looking for different distractions, different scenarios and see if the PC's ignore their duties to pursue other interesting things while they should investigating the assassination plot.

[Celestia]

There are always prostitutes. They can be distracting.

[The Fury]

A person, or people selling churros from a cart that always seems to show up at key points in the investigation. Are they involved in the assassination plot?

...As it turns out, no. They're just selling some churros. Want a churro?

[Guizonde]

i always like adding in pit-fights (humans, dogs v dogs, rooster fights, things like that) for bets and violence. gambling dens can be fun, but if you don't have an easy mechanic for it, i will be a time sink, so think ahead. lastly, prepare 3 taverns: one is high end for great food and drink, another is a middle of the road one with beds to sleep in and tolerable food and drink, and the last is a dive bar where not only is the fare awful, but the risks for a bar fight are great.

pickpockets can hit up your party, which is fairly harmless but potentially a long distraction.

why not throw in a minstrel caravan or puppet shows? look at disney's hunchback of notre-dame, the gypsies did have caravans from where they played music, did puppet shows, juggling acts. you've got a big wedding going on? why not make it a carnival to add to the revels? it was a pretty common practice.

[Celestia]

A person, or people selling churros from a cart that always seems to show up at key points in the investigation. Are they involved in the assassination plot?

...As it turns out, no. They're just selling some churros. Want a churro?

This is awesome, especially if it keeps showing up everywhere, even in dungeons and stuff.

The party disables half a dozen lethal traps, reassembles the ancient key, and opens a door that has been sealed for centuries.

"Hola! Want to buy a churro?"

[Herobizkit]

* A group of children involve the PCs in a game of hide and seek, tag, or some other fun activity. Having the children be thieves is optional (and probably expected). If the players turn them down, one of the children doesn't return; the PC's later find the mother asking the clearly disinterested guards for help. (The child is fine; perhaps he didn't want to share his churros).

* An alleged Monster Tamer™ has a pair or three unusual animals caged and 'for sale'. If the PC's don't bite, one of them (let's say a blink dog, or a carbuncle) gets a whiff of delicious churros and teleports to the nearest cart. The Monster Tamer didn't know it could DO that... and hey, where's his License?

* A pair of religious types are having a heated discussion in the town square over how best to create a new temple to the God/dess of Wealth/Plenty. As a crowd gathers, the merchant's son is recognized and asked for his input. If the PC's ignore the discussion, the religious types come to agreement and ask opinions on which merchant company to use for the gold transport/protection. Maybe a churro cart as a disguise?

* a travelling circus of all-Halfling (or gnome, if you must) entertainers and Illusionists comes into town performing acts of acrobatics and magical spectacle. One halfling, an alleged strongman, is seen lifting an impossibly large crate. If the PC's ignore them, they overhear one of the audience say that they saw the halfling take some kind of herb before he started his performance. Must be magical... maybe he put it in a churro?

[jayem]

Small scale smuggling. Just enough to lead to suspicious. Perhaps with a side hint on successful discovery (maybe they've had to move because the assassin's were using the same drop points) or a useful resource (maybe you can call up on their help) to allow you to regain some of the time you lost following the wrong person.

[FreddyNoNose]

I like that idea, different "cells" not knowing about each other and locals who believe they have hired by somebody else just to throw the PC's off the scent.


Else I'm looking for different distractions, different scenarios and see if the PC's ignore their duties to pursue other interesting things while they should investigating the assassination plot.

One of my "traditional" assassin guild "hangouts" is a slaughter house. Carving up animals for food as well as learning about general anatomy and about cutting effectiveness. PCs might find a trail leading to someone working there not knowing its the guilds place...

[Aneurin]

The street-curb "seer". An old man or woman with a bunch of different charms on their barrow starts shouting at the PCs; they know what they're seeking, they can provide assistance and so on. Ideally, sounding like they really know something about the PCs' mission.

They don't, of course, they just want to sell their entirely mundane charms and trinkets and are trying to convince the PCs they know more than is, in fact, the case.

[jayem]

The street-curb "seer". An old man or woman with a bunch of different charms on their barrow starts shouting at the PCs; they know what they're seeking, they can provide assistance and so on. Ideally, sounding like they really know something about the PCs' mission.

They don't, of course, they just want to sell their entirely mundane charms and trinkets and are trying to convince the PCs they know more than is, in fact, the case.

But then they get murdered because in their ignorance they actually did say something close to the bone (and hence something they said is actually by chance a lead) or the murderer leaves another clue.

[RazorChain]

Thanks for all the tips.

The premise is that the PC's are trying to uncover a assassination plot before a Dukal wedding, the young Duchess has just come of age and is marrying an upstart baron against the will of an usurper king. The kingdom is already at war with a neighboring kingdom and is on the brink of civil war as well. The PC's have allied themselves with the groom (the duke to be) and want to see him come to power.

The PC's have at the moment 13 days to uncover the plot before the wedding and have the groom well guarded so the best opportunity for the assassins to strike is either during the wedding or the festivities.

So what I'm doing is testing their focus, if they manage to track down the assassins before the wedding then the villain will try to take matters into her own hands and reveal herself to finish the job.

So I'm throwing in a lot of plot hooks, scenarios and interesting things to see if they get sidetracked.

The things I have at the moment is this

A) The Cindarella story. A wealthy merchant matron invites Roberto the merchant son and his entourage to a dinner. She knows he's friendly with the groom and wants to see if he can get her two daughter invited to the wedding where they can mingle with the nobility in hopes in securing them noble suitors. Of course she has a radiantly beautiful stepdaughter she treats as a servant. This is guaranteed to get Alma, the Fey blooded warrior's interest as she hates social injustice and always tries to help out the downtrodden.

B) The Scam. During an evening the PC's witness two muggers robbing a pretty peasant girl. The muggers will run off as soon as they see the PC's. The girl will be eternally grateful and see if they can walk her home. If they do she'll end up planting a big kiss on one of them and try to relief him of his purse. If she manages that I'm pretty sure they'll use time and resources to track her down as they keep most of their wealth in their purses (this is not DnD economy)

C) The Dispute. Escalation of dispute with a crime lord. This is an escalation of a conflict with a long standing enemy, He wants a property that Roberto, the merchant son, owns and is willing to burn it down if he doesn't get it for a "reasonable price".

D) The Seer. While the party is on their business in the city an old, blind, street seer tells them cryptically that "Death looms over them" and offers them to throw the bones for them to see what the future has in store. If they accept his offer he will say something equally cryptic that may make sense with their current mission and send them somewhere chasing a red herring.

E) The Smuggler. A former associate of Johannes the renegade mage (who has a smuggler background) offers him in on a lucrative deal moving a mysterious item into the city. It's a quick job but he needs someone he can trust to watch his back. This will interest Johannes as he likes all things magical.

F) Medieval fair. It's soon the 1st of May and the Mayfair will be big this year because of the wedding. A tournament with a grand melee, jousting, archery competition. Jugglers, entertainers galore. I'm pretty sure at least 2-3 PC's want to partake in some competitions and win a hefty price purse.

G) Monster hunt. Luzio the monster slayer will be approached by an minor city official that has heard a slayer is in town. He wants to offer him a contract to investigate the sewers. Couple of rat catchers have gone missing in the sewers and now they refuse to do their jobs. The rat catchers say that something is lurking down there, the city watchmen refuse to have anything to do with it. "We can't have the city overrun with sewage and rats can we? Just before the wedding?"

H) The Bounty. If the villain finds out the PC's are making progress, she will put out a general bounty on them in the criminal underworld. She will be using a patsy to put out the bounty to throw them off the scent. The bounty is just big enough to have some local ruffians cause them trouble but the professionals will be staying at home.

Now I just need to find out the details and I'm set. If somebody has a plot hook to a small scenario feel free disclose.

[FreddyNoNose]

Thanks for all the tips.

The premise is that the PC's are trying to uncover a assassination plot before a Dukal wedding, the young Duchess has just come of age and is marrying an upstart baron against the will of an usurper king. The kingdom is already at war with a neighboring kingdom and is on the brink of civil war as well. The PC's have allied themselves with the groom (the duke to be) and want to see him come to power.

The PC's have at the moment 13 days to uncover the plot before the wedding and have the groom well guarded so the best opportunity for the assassins to strike is either during the wedding or the festivities.

So what I'm doing is testing their focus, if they manage to track down the assassins before the wedding then the villain will try to take matters into her own hands and reveal herself to finish the job.

So I'm throwing in a lot of plot hooks, scenarios and interesting things to see if they get sidetracked.

The things I have at the moment is this

A) The Cindarella story. A wealthy merchant matron invites Roberto the merchant son and his entourage to a dinner. She knows he's friendly with the groom and wants to see if he can get her two daughter invited to the wedding where they can mingle with the nobility in hopes in securing them noble suitors. Of course she has a radiantly beautiful stepdaughter she treats as a servant. This is guaranteed to get Alma, the Fey blooded warrior's interest as she hates social injustice and always tries to help out the downtrodden.

B) The Scam. During an evening the PC's witness two muggers robbing a pretty peasant girl. The muggers will run off as soon as they see the PC's. The girl will be eternally grateful and see if they can walk her home. If they do she'll end up planting a big kiss on one of them and try to relief him of his purse. If she manages that I'm pretty sure they'll use time and resources to track her down as they keep most of their wealth in their purses (this is not DnD economy)

C) The Dispute. Escalation of dispute with a crime lord. This is an escalation of a conflict with a long standing enemy, He wants a property that Roberto, the merchant son, owns and is willing to burn it down if he doesn't get it for a "reasonable price".

D) The Seer. While the party is on their business in the city an old, blind, street seer tells them cryptically that "Death looms over them" and offers them to throw the bones for them to see what the future has in store. If they accept his offer he will say something equally cryptic that may make sense with their current mission and send them somewhere chasing a red herring.

E) The Smuggler. A former associate of Johannes the renegade mage (who has a smuggler background) offers him in on a lucrative deal moving a mysterious item into the city. It's a quick job but he needs someone he can trust to watch his back. This will interest Johannes as he likes all things magical.

F) Medieval fair. It's soon the 1st of May and the Mayfair will be big this year because of the wedding. A tournament with a grand melee, jousting, archery competition. Jugglers, entertainers galore. I'm pretty sure at least 2-3 PC's want to partake in some competitions and win a hefty price purse.

G) Monster hunt. Luzio the monster slayer will be approached by an minor city official that has heard a slayer is in town. He wants to offer him a contract to investigate the sewers. Couple of rat catchers have gone missing in the sewers and now they refuse to do their jobs. The rat catchers say that something is lurking down there, the city watchmen refuse to have anything to do with it. "We can't have the city overrun with sewage and rats can we? Just before the wedding?"

H) The Bounty. If the villain finds out the PC's are making progress, she will put out a general bounty on them in the criminal underworld. She will be using a patsy to put out the bounty to throw them off the scent. The bounty is just big enough to have some local ruffians cause them trouble but the professionals will be staying at home.

Now I just need to find out the details and I'm set. If somebody has a plot hook to a small scenario feel free disclose.

Have you figured out who is going to be the target of the assassin(s)? How about who is behind it? Is there someone who is pitting two groups against each other? How about people who are going to take advantage of this situation?

What is the reason behind the assassination? Prevent the marriage and political ties that result? Jilted ex-lover or rival? Perhaps a cult believes the couple will have a child that will go on to do something that needs to be prevented. That child grows up to be evil or good?

How about the various groups and factions that might try to influence the characters in their mission?

Previously mentioned more than one assassin. What if the assassin is killed? Perhaps by the PCs or an NPC. Does that mean the threat is over?

[RazorChain]

Have you figured out who is going to be the target of the assassin(s)? How about who is behind it? Is there someone who is pitting two groups against each other? How about people who are going to take advantage of this situation?

What is the reason behind the assassination? Prevent the marriage and political ties that result? Jilted ex-lover or rival? Perhaps a cult believes the couple will have a child that will go on to do something that needs to be prevented. That child grows up to be evil or good?

How about the various groups and factions that might try to influence the characters in their mission?

Previously mentioned more than one assassin. What if the assassin is killed? Perhaps by the PCs or an NPC. Does that mean the threat is over?

Ok this is going to take some time explaining.

The target of the assassination attempt is Baron Niccolo Rosefort. In an earlier adventure the PC's helped him and the young Duchess to seize power of the Duchy of Apulia after a coup staged by her uncle. Now that the Duchess has come of age, she can marry Rosefort against Kings Tancred wishes, as his hold on the duchy is tenuous at best.

King Tancred is an usurper in a way, he's a bastard and his grandfather was a king. He has the backing of lot of the nobility as the legal heir is Empress Constance, sister to the late king who died childless. Tancred has ruled for 3 years but is at war with Empress Constance and her husband Heinrich VI. King Tancred wants to marry his younger son to the Duchess to stabilize the kingdom as the barons of Apulia are rebelling. Baron Roseforts hates King Tancred as he was responsible for the death of his father and has thrown his lot with Emperor Heinrich and is behind the rebellion.

King Tancred wants Rosefort dead and has sent Selena Giovanni, the black rose of Sicily, to make sure that the marriage doesn't take place or will be veeeery short lived. Selena Giovanni is a vampire of the Giovanni clan (the King has no clue about that) and it suits the Giovanni clan to see the Kingdom of Sicily is unified at the moment.

The factions are the royalists and the rebels but this is rebel territory and most of the other factions don't matter. The Church is trying to mediate peace. The Hermetic Order is sworn not to take parts in politics and doesn't care as long as they get left alone to their devices. The city guilds and crime lords are mostly neutral.

The players are working incognito for Rosefort but as they start to investigate Selena will probably find out about it. There was one attempt already that the PC's managed to thwart and they suspect there will be more. They are pretty sure King Tancred is behind it but he's in Sicily and out of their reach. So at the moment they are following leads, using contacts to try to uncover more.

Selena has no interest in getting her hands dirty and is using blood bonded assassins and trying to subvert people to do the job and she suffers from the disadvantage that she can't enter the Dukal Palace without invitation. On top of that the Palace is warded because there is a court Magus of the house Flambeau who specializes in fire magic...and she really doesn't want to tangle with a magus that wields fire. But if all else fails she will go there to take care of things in person because one of her mortal kinsmen, Vittorio Giovanni of the Venetian Merchant Bank has an invitation+1 to a ball after the wedding.

[The Fury]

This is awesome, especially if it keeps showing up everywhere, even in dungeons and stuff.

The party disables half a dozen lethal traps, reassembles the ancient key, and opens a door that has been sealed for centuries.

"Hola! Want to buy a churro?"

Hey, if you need a running gag for your campaign, like most of my ideas I wasn't using that one. I guess I've just had churros on the brain.

* A group of children involve the PCs in a game of hide and seek, tag, or some other fun activity. Having the children be thieves is optional (and probably expected). If the players turn them down, one of the children doesn't return; the PC's later find the mother asking the clearly disinterested guards for help. (The child is fine; perhaps he didn't want to share his churros).

* An alleged Monster Tamer™ has a pair or three unusual animals caged and 'for sale'. If the PC's don't bite, one of them (let's say a blink dog, or a carbuncle) gets a whiff of delicious churros and teleports to the nearest cart. The Monster Tamer didn't know it could DO that... and hey, where's his License?

* A pair of religious types are having a heated discussion in the town square over how best to create a new temple to the God/dess of Wealth/Plenty. As a crowd gathers, the merchant's son is recognized and asked for his input. If the PC's ignore the discussion, the religious types come to agreement and ask opinions on which merchant company to use for the gold transport/protection. Maybe a churro cart as a disguise?

* a travelling circus of all-Halfling (or gnome, if you must) entertainers and Illusionists comes into town performing acts of acrobatics and magical spectacle. One halfling, an alleged strongman, is seen lifting an impossibly large crate. If the PC's ignore them, they overhear one of the audience say that they saw the halfling take some kind of herb before he started his performance. Must be magical... maybe he put it in a churro?

...My gosh... this is amazing. Also, I think I'm gonna have churros on the brain for a while now.

[RazorChain]

Well if the characters were in Spain I might use Churros but they are currently in Italy.....

[The Fury]

Well if the characters were in Spain I might use Churros but they are currently in Italy.....

Hey, don't let my current fascination with churros slow down your plot. You can always use some other snack food.

[RazorChain]

Don't you worry, one of the plot features kidney pies....delicious kidney pies. Worst thing is that it's made from human kidneys and the pie maker dumps the corpses into the sewers were they rise again.....

[Velaryon]

Well if the characters were in Spain I might use Churros but they are currently in Italy.....

Use calzones instead?

[FreddyNoNose]

Use calzones instead?

At least they aren't cart dogs!

[Coventry]

Some additions to consider

The unrelated assassin - The party stumbles across the scene of the murder of some minor noble, mere seconds after it occurs. As the poor guy staggers out into the street and keels over (with the dagger in his back), the party sees a furtive figure (dressed in very dark grey clothing) step out and look intently at the dying man ... before realizing that he has been seen by the party. A chase scene ensues, where the assassin tries to hide, gets noticed, gets caught and gets killed.

This is totally not the assassin they are looking for, and has no knowledge whatsoever of the real plot.

The street party - the party enters a street, where a huge celebration is underway. Fireworks, singing dancing, drinking ... a lot of noise. Maybe the unrelated assassin tries to use that as cover to escape. (He should fail, though).

The nosy constable - A local constable (or other lawman) notices the PCs acting ... strangely. Maybe they were sneaking around, or maybe they were where the should not be. He starts shadowing them, under the belief that they are UP TO NO GOOD. The party will spot the town guard from time to time ... standing at the churo stand, walking along behind them as they visit their contacts, already sitting inside the bar when they go to meet a different contact, just happening to write a ticket for the horse they have illegally parked.

The domestic dispute - as the party travels down an alley, they hear shouting (both male and female) from up ahead. If they stop to listen, she is accusing him of sleeping with some other woman, and is throwing things at him. He may be throwing things back at her. Score special points if he heads out to the street, and one of her tossed items (chamber pot? spaghetti dinner? throwing vase?) hits a PC by accident.

The funeral procession - a very solemn procession down a street that the PCs want to cross, and the PCs are forced to wait for the procession to pass before they can continue. If necessary, the Nosy Constable is the one that prevents them from crossing until the procession passes.

The unwanted heroic understudy - A gangly teenager, carrying the kind of gear normally associated with a poor first level adventurer, has decided that she needs a mentor, and has picked one of the PCs as the perfect one. If the PCs turn her down, she may become a future nemesis, much like "Incrediboy" became "Syndrome" in the "Incredibles" movie.

The loud explosion - a short distance away, the PCs hear a very LOUD explosion. Maybe this is the start of the street party, above, or maybe is just some alchemist's shop with an apprentice that added too much "ker" to the "bo" before mixing in the "om". Bonus points for finding the dazed apprentice, standing at the epicenter of the destroyed alchemy lab, more-or-less unhurt. Currently deaf, and definitely in shock, but otherwise only minor nicks and bruises. The surrounding buildings? Not so much. The nosy constable, upon seeing the PCs in the area, maybe blames them.

The magnitude 3 Earthquake - not very serious, but enough to be felt, rattle glasses on the table, knock picture frames askew, and freak out the local wildlife. Some neighbors blame the quake, unfairly, on the not-so-deaf-anymore ex-apprentice alchemist. The nosy constable, upon seeing the PCs in the area, maybe blames them.

The backyard scientists - The paryt literally picks up the horrendous stench of a rotting corpse. If they check it out, they ultimately find it is two people (Jadam and Amie), who are testing whether or not it is impossible to get the stench of death completely out of an expensive carriage. They come to the conclusion that the Myth is confirmed, and have to destroy their test carriage.

[RazorChain]

Some additions to consider

The unrelated assassin - The party stumbles across the scene of the murder of some minor noble, mere seconds after it occurs. As the poor guy staggers out into the street and keels over (with the dagger in his back), the party sees a furtive figure (dressed in very dark grey clothing) step out and look intently at the dying man ... before realizing that he has been seen by the party. A chase scene ensues, where the assassin tries to hide, gets noticed, gets caught and gets killed.

This is totally not the assassin they are looking for, and has no knowledge whatsoever of the real plot.

The domestic dispute - as the party travels down an alley, they hear shouting (both male and female) from up ahead. If they stop to listen, she is accusing him of sleeping with some other woman, and is throwing things at him. He may be throwing things back at her. Score special points if he heads out to the street, and one of her tossed items (chamber pot? spaghetti dinner? throwing vase?) hits a PC by accident.


The backyard scientists - The paryt literally picks up the horrendous stench of a rotting corpse. If they check it out, they ultimately find it is two people (Jadam and Amie), who are testing whether or not it is impossible to get the stench of death completely out of an expensive carriage. They come to the conclusion that the Myth is confirmed, and have to destroy their test carriage.

Thanks for the scenarios. I'm going to use these....especially Jaydem and Amy. It so happens that the PC's are trying to track down a carriage which is pretty much a red herring. All the better when they see Jaydem and Amy blow it up with some alchemical concoction in front of them before they can do anything

[FreddyNoNose]

Thanks for the scenarios. I'm going to use these....especially Jaydem and Amy. It so happens that the PC's are trying to track down a carriage which is pretty much a red herring. All the better when they see Jaydem and Amy blow it up with some alchemical concoction in front of them before they can do anything

With all these assassin suggestions you might think there is a secret assassins convention going on in town.

[Guizonde]

With all these assassin suggestions you might think there is a secret assassins convention going on in town.

"stabcon! come on and fulfill all your assassin daydreams! included in the moderate price tag of 3500gp/day is a free hour in the caltrop pit!"

make sure it's a trainwreck. angry mob not included, torches and pitchforks sold separately.

[Vogie]

With all these assassin suggestions you might think there is a secret assassins convention going on in town.

Or better yet, there's an actual Assassin's Guild convention going on downtown, at the conference center, and everyone thinks that's fine. It's perfectly legal, and mostly discussion panels and vendors... but it's only been going on for a handful of years, and they've asked the attendees to avoid performing assassinations so they can continue having the convention there.

Still, the haystack is made entirely of other needles.

[Joe the Rat]

Use calzones instead?

Bomboloni, Ciambelle, or Zeppole to keep with the fried dough dessert theme?

I'd use Cannoli, but that's more Sicilian. (Which could be construed to point to a particular connection between said purveyor of pastry and a certain association of businessmen who may or may not have an interest in the proceedings, but would, if circumstances fell in the right direction, find it most beneficial to their own interests, and those of your associates' ability to walk. Capice?)

[Bulhakov]

A few ideas for random things to happen when walking through a market:

- a player catches a glimpse of a tentacle reach out of a sewer hole and steal a fish from a basket
- there's a commotion as one of the shopkeeps is about to chop off the hand of a young thief he just caught (and the crowd is split between those cheering him on and those yelling to wait for the city watch)
- in a side alley a bunch of youths are beating a guy to a pulp (turns out it's Julia's gang, telling Romeo to stay away)

[FreddyNoNose]

Or better yet, there's an actual Assassin's Guild convention going on downtown, at the conference center, and everyone thinks that's fine. It's perfectly legal, and mostly discussion panels and vendors... but it's only been going on for a handful of years, and they've asked the attendees to avoid performing assassinations so they can continue having the convention there.

Still, the haystack is made entirely of other needles.

They could have games too: instead of killing people, they try to mark them (put a coin on them for example) without getting caught. Replace poisoning people with dropping a fun but harmless magic potion in food/drink with fun result: turn purple, into a clown, they sing loudly, etc.

[FreddyNoNose]

"stabcon! come on and fulfill all your assassin daydreams! included in the moderate price tag of 3500gp/day is a free hour in the caltrop pit!"

make sure it's a trainwreck. angry mob not included, torches and pitchforks sold separately.

My father went to Stabcon 2017 and all I got was a lousy pitchfork!