New OOTS products from CafePress
New OOTS t-shirts, ornaments, mugs, bags, and more
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 86
  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    Since lists are all the rage now. It is time to compile a list on how to get a DM to arbitarily and randomly kill your character and elicite the single and terrifying phrase "Your character dies."


    1. At an important battle you state "I use my magic to turn him into a giant purple ass."
    2. After commenting on how hungry he is you still grab the last slice of pizza.
    3. At the start of the adventure instead of listening to the strange old man in the tavern you decide to mug him and give him a thrashing.
    4. You randomly comment on the physical appearance of the DM's sister(or other female relative.)
    5. You present the DM for a 12 page or longer background story for your character.
    6. ...and expect him to read it all before the game and comment as well as incorporating elements into the story.
    7. You question the motivations for going on an adventure and decide it is better to stay home.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sayn
    You know, I'm beginning to realize that when I chose to go from being a player to being the GM, I essentially went from being a mere leader of some nation to being God. And it feels good.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jade_Tarem View Post
    It's been said that a good backstory is like a skirt - it should be long enough to cover everything that needs to be covered, but short enough that it can keep someone's interest. This... is basically the train of a wedding dress.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Titan in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    On Paper
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    9.
    DM: The duke smiles and guestures forward, two guards carry a treasure chest into the room and set it in front of you. they cerimoniously open it to re-
    you: I attack the duke.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dsurion View Post
    I don't know if you've noticed, but pretty much everything BRC posts is full of awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by chiasaur11 View Post
    So, Astronaut, War Hero, or hideous Mantis Man, hop to it! The future of humanity is in your capable hands and or terrifying organic scythes.
    My Homebrew:Synchronized Swordsmen,Dual Daggers,The Doctor,The Preacher,The Brawler
    [/Center]

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaelaroth's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    The Middle of September

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    10. DM = And then the ant swirled, raging and frothing at the mouth!
    PC = Ants have no mouths!
    DM = But... But....
    PC = Hah! Once again Logic commands all!!!!!

    11. Giggle uncontrollably. All the time. For no reason.

    12. Comment on how the Duke looks mighty fine in that doublet.
    Words, my weapons...
    Je veux aller sous votre peau.
    Spoiler
    Show
    Spoiler
    Show

    Dihan-atar

    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    You rascally psychopath, you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quincunx View Post
    On the phone, people talk back. And over. And aren't obliged to listen.
    Quote Originally Posted by Felixaar View Post
    Kael, awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by CurlyKitGirl View Post
    I has been owned.
    Yup, Kael beat the Book Geek at her own game.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    Don't tick off Kaelawrath. The dear fellow is above reproach.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Tengu's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Poland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    13. Ignore all plothooks, spend all the time brooding in a corner, thinking about your tragic past. If any of the other players tries to do anything, steal the spotlight immediately by doing something stupid and start a monologue about your past.

    I had a player like that.

    Birdman of the Church of Link's Hat

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Northen Virginia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    14. Do anything on this list.
    Last edited by martyboy74; 2007-08-24 at 10:20 AM.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Ranis's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Indianapolis, Indiana
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    13. DM: You see the frog sitting on a stump. As you approach, it begins to spea-
    PC: I hit the frog with my quarterstaff.


    14. I'll make a Knowledge (Physics) to cause the radial diometry of the monster to defy the actual gravity of the planet in a........
    Druid-Ninjatar by the sensuous Serpentine.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ettin in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Canada, eh?
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    15. Whenever you slay an enemy, steal one of their ears. Throw them at important NPCs, while yelling, "What an eerie thing to say!"

    ((How many posts do you think there'll be before someone mentions pun-pun.



    Dang!))

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Northen Virginia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    18. Immediately destroy all corpses, statues, skeletons, or other creatures that could possibly animate before entering the room.

    19. Prop open all doors in such a manner that it is impossible for them to close magically while the party is in the room.
    Last edited by martyboy74; 2007-08-24 at 10:33 AM.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Enzario's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    20. Be a rules lawyer
    21. In the officer's club of the City Watch, stab the guy next to you in the eye.
    22. ...Then point to the head watchman and say, "He did it!"
    23. Bring a 6-pack of Red Bull, then wait until, say, early morning. Don't give your gamemates any until they recreate the Fish-Slapping-Dance with some carp.
    24. Make a Kobold with 3 levels in MOMF... you know the rest.
    25. Get ideas for your characters from threads like this one.
    26. Attack the darkness. A gazebo works well, too.
    Last edited by Enzario; 2007-08-24 at 10:36 AM.
    If a cute girl with a red sash and overalls on slips you a note, ignore it, forget it, and sic the police on her.

    You receive ten fail points. You may spend them as you see fit.

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    SamuraiGuy

    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    Quote Originally Posted by LongVin View Post
    3. At the start of the adventure instead of listening to the strange old man in the tavern you decide to mug him and give him a thrashing.
    This is a perfectly valid response to a clichéd plot starter. Especially if he's carrying something you're not supposed to get your hands on for another 5 levels.

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Overlard's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2007

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    27. Create a grappling character, but never learn the grappling rules.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    if you know the Dm's trying to do something, and you purposefully sabotage it, it doesn't matter how cliche or ridicolous whatever the Dm is trying to do is, your being disruptive. Being not interested / small time mugger is a slighty different story.

    If you want to get your dm to kill your character arbitrarily, be an Ass, that always works

    Logos
    On the first day of Dnd my dm gave to me
    http://filbolg.wordpress.com/

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Spiryt's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Poland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    28. Mumble some nonsenses about filed off dice everytime you roll 8 (or lower) on d20.
    Avatar by Kwarkpudding
    The subtle tongue, the sophist guile, they fail when the broadswords sing;
    Rush in and die, dogs—I was a man before I was a king.

    Whoever makes shoddy beer, shall be thrown into manure - town law from Gdańsk, XIth century.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    FireSpark's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    447th layer of the Abyss
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    29: Ask for the name of every NPC you make contact with. Every. Last. One.

    30: During the climatic confrontation with the BBEG, and he is performing his monologue, keep asking "Why?" over and over again.

    31: Try to steal everything in sight. Including other people's pants.
    Last edited by FireSpark; 2007-08-24 at 10:49 AM.
    The light shine on you, and the Creator shelter you. The last embrace of the mother welcome you home.




    Wanna check out all the nifty Homebrews I've done? Click Here! Hurry!

    Awarded the Bronze Donkey by Serpentine, for the Ass at the End of the Universe.

    Come on in and give a shout out from where ever you are!!

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Somerville, MA
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    Quote Originally Posted by LongVin View Post
    Since lists are all the rage now. It is time to compile a list on how to get a DM to arbitarily and randomly kill your character and elicite the single and terrifying phrase "Your character dies."

    4. You randomly comment on the physical appearance of the DM's sister(or other female relative.)
    5. You present the DM for a 12 page or longer background story for your character.
    6. ...and expect him to read it all before the game and comment as well as incorporating elements into the story.
    These are all encouraged where I come from. Though we hand over our backstory at least a week in advance so the DM has time to figure out how to use our plot hooks and we don't expect them to show up immediately.

    If you really wanna irritate a GM with background, here's how you do. Actually here's how I've done it - these are all thing's I have in fact done to GMs.

    32. Google for old Bill Brasky sketches from SNL. Replace all instances of Bill Brasky with your character's name (in this case it was Bucky d'Forrest). Claim this as an original work and hand it to your GM.

    33. Escribir en espanol.

    34. Don't tell your GM that your new bard character is actually your old bard who faked his own death and assumed a new identity. The background story you give the GM is what the original bard wrote in planning for his new role. Then have the character critique the story he just wrote and talk about how hard it'll be to get into character. Your GM will know something is amiss but shouldn't figure it all out till the last couple sentences. This one's a little trickier, but if done right your GM will actually slap you.
    Last edited by valadil; 2007-08-24 at 10:49 AM.
    If you like what I have to say, please check out my GMing Blog where I discuss writing and roleplaying in greater depth.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Troll in the Playground
     
    UserClone's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Connecticut
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    35. Have your 7-Con Bard agree to melee one-on-one with a tough-looking Hobgoblin Lieutenant; then let the party Warmage cast a stinking Cloud on the two of you. Trust me, you'll quickly be CdG'd.
    Last edited by UserClone; 2007-08-24 at 10:50 AM.

    Beguiler, you just got served.
    ALL hail DirtyTabs, creator of this wonderful UserClone TRONpony!
    *sigh*
    X Stat to Y Bonus
    Quotes:
    Spoiler
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by BRC
    Railroading isn't saying "There is a wall there", Railroading is when you say "There is a wall everywhere BUT there"


  17. - Top - End - #17
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Northen Virginia
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    Quote Originally Posted by FireSpark View Post
    30: During the climatic confrontation with the BBEG, and he is performing his monologue, keep asking "Why?" over and over again.
    Heisenberg's horror doesn't work if they're already insane.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    DraPrime's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    36. Do what my friend did. Get caught making out with the DMs sister.
    Avatar by Serpentine.
    "Love takes up where knowledge leaves off."
    - St. Thomas Aquinas

  19. - Top - End - #19
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaelaroth's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    The Middle of September

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    37. Sing Happy Birthday at innapropriate moments.
    38. Try and chat up the Evil Overlord.
    39. Make quotes from Shakespeare. All the time. For no reason.
    Words, my weapons...
    Je veux aller sous votre peau.
    Spoiler
    Show
    Spoiler
    Show

    Dihan-atar

    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    You rascally psychopath, you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quincunx View Post
    On the phone, people talk back. And over. And aren't obliged to listen.
    Quote Originally Posted by Felixaar View Post
    Kael, awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by CurlyKitGirl View Post
    I has been owned.
    Yup, Kael beat the Book Geek at her own game.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    Don't tick off Kaelawrath. The dear fellow is above reproach.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Titan in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    On Paper
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    Ask for the DC to steal your own pants without you noticing. (Actually somthing you must do in the online game kingdom of loathing).
    Quote Originally Posted by Dsurion View Post
    I don't know if you've noticed, but pretty much everything BRC posts is full of awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by chiasaur11 View Post
    So, Astronaut, War Hero, or hideous Mantis Man, hop to it! The future of humanity is in your capable hands and or terrifying organic scythes.
    My Homebrew:Synchronized Swordsmen,Dual Daggers,The Doctor,The Preacher,The Brawler
    [/Center]

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kaelaroth's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    The Middle of September

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    41:
    DM: You see a vast mysterious castle, surrounded by a swirling, black cloud, where lightnin-
    PC: Control Weather Nice'n'Sunny now!
    Words, my weapons...
    Je veux aller sous votre peau.
    Spoiler
    Show
    Spoiler
    Show

    Dihan-atar

    Spoiler
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    You rascally psychopath, you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Quincunx View Post
    On the phone, people talk back. And over. And aren't obliged to listen.
    Quote Originally Posted by Felixaar View Post
    Kael, awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by CurlyKitGirl View Post
    I has been owned.
    Yup, Kael beat the Book Geek at her own game.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kneenibble View Post
    Don't tick off Kaelawrath. The dear fellow is above reproach.

  22. - Top - End - #22
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Telonius's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Wandering in Harrekh
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    42. Constantly ask people where their towel is.
    43. Create a high-charisma character. In the opening bar scene, start hitting on the waitress. Demand that the results be described in detail. (Works best if DM is of the same gender as you).

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    In a shadow of a shadow
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    44: Ask the gold dragon if he is single. This also provides an IC explanation for the bolt of lightning that suddenly hits your character if "Big G" has sorcerer levels.
    Last edited by Leliel; 2007-08-24 at 11:53 AM.
    My Homestuck role is Thane of Space of the Land of Insanity and Frogs.

    The Malkavians would be proud.

    ***

    Thanks to Mokipi for the Exalted avatar!

    For avatars of your own, he's on White Wolf.

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Montréal
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    Quote Originally Posted by Telonius View Post
    42. Constantly ask people where their towel is.
    43. Create a high-charisma character. In the opening bar scene, start hitting on the waitress. Demand that the results be described in detail. (Works best if DM is of the same gender as you).
    You have an odd definition of "best" :P

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    Quote Originally Posted by Enzario View Post
    26. Attack the darkness. A gazebo works well, too.
    We literally had to do that once. Damn spell-like abilities...

    44. Demand you take falling damage whenever your character trips - especially over fences etc.
    45. Insist you 'send the cleric'.
    46. Get your character drunk, and start to make balance checks.
    I lack a humurous opinion/outlook

  26. - Top - End - #26
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Harold's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    47 when adding your hit and damage say all the math out loud.
    Last edited by Harold; 2007-08-24 at 11:57 AM.
    Chocolate Milk, the king of all dairy drinks.
    avatar by baboon army
    If God didn't want us to eat animals, why would he have made them out of meat?
    Spoiler
    Show
    I would have been orange if it was an option.


  27. - Top - End - #27
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Telonius's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Wandering in Harrekh
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    Quote Originally Posted by Harold View Post
    47 when adding your hit and damage say all the math out loud.
    We actually have a guy who does that. And he's a barbarian. Eventually we had to write up an excel sheet Power Attack reference to keep ourselves from lynching him.

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Harold's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    We actually have a guy who does that. And he's a barbarian. Eventually we had to write up an excel sheet Power Attack reference to keep ourselves from lynching him.
    I have someone who does that too, and every time we had to tell them to do it in there head they took 1 point of stupidity damage.
    Last edited by Harold; 2007-08-24 at 01:13 PM.
    Chocolate Milk, the king of all dairy drinks.
    avatar by baboon army
    If God didn't want us to eat animals, why would he have made them out of meat?
    Spoiler
    Show
    I would have been orange if it was an option.


  29. - Top - End - #29
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    EndgamerAzari's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    48. Have your already-powerful character bitch at the personification of Fate for not giving him a present.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Iames Osari View Post
    Translation [of "Stop Posting"]: I don't know how to argue against this, so I'm just going to tell you to shut up in attempt to make it look like the counterargument is so blatantly obvious that I don't even need to explain it in a suitably condescending tone.
    Quote Originally Posted by .... View Post
    The proper way to run a fight at ECL90 gestalt is to line up and kick each other in the genitals. The first one who falls over loses and his character's soul is devoured by the winner.
    FREE video game and anime music!

  30. - Top - End - #30
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Anxe's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Davis, California
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Ways to get the DM to kill your character

    49. Steal the artifact of goodness and then sell it to a fence. (I actually did this one once. Hilarious, but ended up dead.)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •