The mysterious Talking Beer

[Black Jester]

I run an RPG Club at our local school, and like every times I start a new group, I ask the kids what they like to see in their game and what should be avoided. Usually the kids write down pretty standard things - the girls want magic stuff, the boys prefer more martial affairs, both are interested in adventure, treasure and monsters - but this time one actually surprised me: In the category of "things that should be avoided she wrote Talking Beer. I have no idea why, but obviously for the last three days I was basically forced to think about how to include sentient, talking beer in a game (not in the kids game, obviously). So, brainstorm with me: what is talking beer and how could it be important in a fantasy campaign?

[RazorChain]

Talking BEAR silly! The person misspelled it.

Just watch out for smelling pistakes.

[Rakaydos]

"Why did you say that?"

"Oh, it was just the beer talking."

[RFLS]

She may have meant that she doesn't want alcohol to be discussed in game.

[JellyPooga]

I wouldn't want talking beer in my campaigns either. Imagine the horror of drinking it...slowly. O_O

"Aah! No! Not the head! My creamy creamy head!"
"But you're so tasty"
"Arrghlfh!"
"Mmmm, refreshing too"
"Please stop, I can still have a life as a half"
"Sorry buddy, you're going down. It's been hell of a ride"
*chug*

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Maybe it's a wish granting spirit from a bottle?

[Grod_The_Giant]

I wouldn't want talking beer in my campaigns either. Imagine the horror of drinking it...slowly. O_O

"Aah! No! Not the head! My creamy creamy head!"
"But you're so tasty"
"Arrghlfh!"
"Mmmm, refreshing too"
"Please stop, I can still have a life as a half"
"Sorry buddy, you're going down. It's been hell of a ride"
*chug*

Better or worse than the other way around?

"C'mon, drink me!"
"What? No! You're alive!"
"Alive and delicious!"
"I can't do that!"
"Oh, come on, I'm so refreshing!"

[NRSASD]

I think RFLS has the right of it.

Honestly though, I've been a DM for a long time and I thought I've seen it all. That though... that's a new one.

[PrismCat21]

I clicked this thread because I read The mysterious Talking 'Bear', not beer.
I'm not sure if this is worse or about the same level of silly I envisioned. :/

[JellyPooga]

Better or worse than the other way around?

"C'mon, drink me!"
"What? No! You're alive!"
"Alive and delicious!"
"I can't do that!"
"Oh, come on, I'm so refreshing!"

Hmm, I don't know. What if it was a nihilist beer?

"I don't care man...drink me, don't drink me. It's all the same in the end."
"You're such a downer, BeerMan. I need a drink"

[Telonius]

Sounds like an Intelligent Everfull Mug to me.

I would be completely shocked if there were not some kind of item like this in Portable Hole Full of Beer.

[JeenLeen]

So, brainstorm with me: what is talking beer

I agree that it was likely a typo, especially if these are younger kids, and meant talking bears. To be on the safe side, I'd recommend avoiding alcohol and loquacious ursines.
On a serious note, I can see a kid having, for some reason or another, a fear of talking bears. Maybe some horror movie, or a kids story that really frightened them, and it meaning a lot to their enjoyment that it not be in the game. Especially if they might visibly show fear and get teased about it by the other kids.

and how could it be important in a fantasy campaign?

But, going with talking beer, I can see it, for some reason or another, the sentient being that is behind some plot. Kinda silly, but likely to not be noticed.

To take it darker, maybe the drunks in town are hearing voices from their drink, leading them to dark actions when drinking. The beer is a hivemind from the brewery, led by an evil cultist, trying to corrupt the town (or just get its citizens to turn on one another) by putting suggestions and impulses into those who drink it.

Hmm... I might actually use that in a game I'm been thinking of.

[JellyPooga]

To take it darker, maybe the drunks in town are hearing voices from their drink, leading them to dark actions when drinking. The beer is a hivemind from the brewery, led by an evil cultist, trying to corrupt the town (or just get its citizens to turn on one another) by putting suggestions and impulses into those who drink it.

Hmm... I might actually use that in a game I'm been thinking of.

That...that's a terrifying plot. A beer-y hivemind...*shudder* Must be a mead.

[BBQ Pork]

Hmmm......

Myconid variants. Spores... Yeast used in brewing....?

[Black Jester]

Considering that our school is in Northern Germany, I'm pretty sure that it was not a spelling error (sprechendes Bier und sprechender Bär are quite differrent).
I just found the idea too cute for not sharing it.

[Lord Torath]

Yeah, I'd recommend asking the girl what she really meant.

Still, talking beer would be hilarious. A Beer Elemental? A Beer Weird, instead of a Water Weird?

[JeenLeen]

Considering that our school is in Northern Germany, I'm pretty sure that it was not a spelling error (sprechendes Bier und sprechender Bär are quite differrent).
I just found the idea too cute for not sharing it.

In English, "talking beer" could mean (although it would be an unusual phrasing) "the act of talking about beer", like talking sports, or "beer that talks". Does that ambiguity exist in the German words, too?

[Koo Rehtorb]

She probably meant bear and probably heard about Sir Bearington.

[PrismCat21]

On a serious note, I can see a kid having, for some reason or another, a fear of talking bears. Maybe some horror movie, or a kids story that really frightened them, and it meaning a lot to their enjoyment that it not be in the game. Especially if they might visibly show fear and get teased about it by the other kids.

The Berenstain Bears could be quite horrifying at times. Didn't you ever read: The Berenstain Bears In The DARK?

[Yora]

In English, "talking beer" could mean (although it would be an unusual phrasing) "the act of talking about beer", like talking sports, or "beer that talks". Does that ambiguity exist in the German words, too?

No, that doesn't work. I really can't think of anything it could mean except beer that is talking.

Maybe it's a really bad script and supposed to be a T and not a B, in which it would be "talking animal".

[Joe the Rat]

That was my best guess (tier), but that's one hell of a handwriting typo.

I fully support the introducing a sentient hivemind yeast colony beer to any fantasy setting. Comedy, horror, it's all good.

[Nupo]

"C'mon, drink me!"..."Oh, come on, I'm so refreshing!"

Beer says that to me all the time. In fact I swear I can hear the muffled voice of one in the refrigerator saying that right now.

[FreddyNoNose]

Yeah, I'd recommend asking the girl what she really meant.

Still, talking beer would be hilarious. A Beer Elemental? A Beer Weird, instead of a Water Weird?

And the whole avoiding them. Does that mean you have to find a way to work around them? Or she doesn't want to encounter one?

Oh, perhaps the start of the campaign is a celebration of the elimination of all Talking Beers. The decade long battle finally came to a head, their leader, the great kegger, was smashed upon the ground and died. Nobody cried over spilled beer.

[Mastikator]

Better or worse than the other way around?

"C'mon, drink me!"
"What? No! You're alive!"
"Alive and delicious!"
"I can't do that!"
"Oh, come on, I'm so refreshing!"

"Okay I'll do it"
"AHAHAHAHA I live inside you now"

[ka_bna]

That...that's a terrifying plot. A beer-y hivemind...*shudder* Must be a mead.

The talking beer is a mishap from a drunk wizard, trying to Awaken a bear. The beer, groggy with it's newfound intelligence, took revenge by letting himself get drunk by the wizard. In the stomach of said wizard, it took the soul of the wizard.

Now the beer is trying to lure travellers into drinking the beer, and then taking their souls. It most happily preys on magical souls (like wizards), because it believes if it intoxicates itself with enough magical souls, it will end its grogginess by becoming a non-sentient beer again.

In a totally unrelated plot, a talking beer became president and passed a law that makes it legal to arm beers.

[Joe the Rat]

But how does the beer get out?

...nevermind.

[Guizonde]

gives a whole new spin on the phrase "oh, beer, you're the only one that really understands me..."

prepare googly eyes when the beer inevitably responds with "of course, you're too sober for this silliness."

i'd go with beer elementals for followers of cayden caillean or brewers, but that beer hivemind is too scary to think about. i love it!

[ka_bna]

But how does the beer get out?

...nevermind.

Finding out is one sidequest the party does not want.

[FreddyNoNose]

But how does the beer get out?

...nevermind.

They say you only rent beer, does that turn a bar into a brothel?....

[denthor]

Maybe? Rich did something that you might like.

Click on the comic then click on the ! MARK IN THE CENTER

About third down is incentive comics.

Just scroll though those you will see Elan& Durkon.

The joke is right there I am on my phone or I would provide a link