The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

[ben-zayb]

Being better at teaming up with pestered witches should be a universal wish at this point. Those cranky bunch can really be hard to deal with!


I wish to make a deal with Old Nick himself.

[Archeoaevis]

Being better at teaming up with pestered witches should be a universal wish at this point. Those cranky bunch can really be hard to deal with!


I wish to make a deal with Old Nick himself.

You want to make a meal with your what? I'm sorry, but I just can't grant that. Actually, I'm calling the insane asylum right now.

I wish for a hug.

[Flyingbooks42]

You fish for a bug? I thought fishing was just for catching fish.

I wish for a time machine.

[Crisis21]

Here you go, one lime-making machine.



I wish there were more good deeds in the world.

[Anonymouswizard]

You want more food seed in the hold? Just show me to the vehicle!

I wish I could forget the Fifth of November, gunpowder, treason, and plot.
I see no reason
That gundpowder treason
Should ever be forgot

[Pex]

You're only supposed to get one wish, but fine:

https://www.oursportscentral.com/ser...-5-4/n-5411525
https://eq2.fandom.com/wiki/No_Ember_Hornet
http://www.susanpowteronline.com/
https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=season...sons%20hospice

I wish for a good night's sleep.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted! Here's a big plushie lamb that goes perfectly with your bedspread.

I wish for an astronomer's telescope.

[Brighteyes]

Granted! Here's a big plushie lamb that goes perfectly with your bedspread.

I wish for an astronomer's telescope.

A gastroscopic scope? Thats a great idea, never can be to careful with gastrointestinal cancer. Granted!


I wish for a pitcher of lemonade.

[Crisis21]

Making a fruit-based baseball knock-off? Sounds interesting. I kind of want to see the end product, really. Eagerly granted.



I wish for a real-life eevee.

[Korith]

Granted! You now have a real life incorporeal Emcee that announces in a booming voice everything you're about to do right before you do it.

I wish for a pair of X-ray binoculars.

[Pex]

Ray Barone coming right up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mSD8R-_uhA

I wish for a pink polka dot ping pong ball

[Crisis21]

Ice rink polka with a lot of ding-dongs? Sure thing!



I wish for an adorable calico cat.

[Masema]

Ice rink polka with a lot of ding-dongs? Sure thing!



I wish for an adorable calico cat.

A deplorable colicky bat? Sure thing.

I wish I had more time on my hands.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish I had more time on my hands.

Okay. Here's some very impressive ooze. I don't know why you would want "some slime that is grand," though.

I wish for a part in a good action film.

[Dutch]

Okay. Here's some very impressive ooze. I don't know why you would want "some slime that is grand," though.

I wish for a part in a good action film.

Huh?- You want to pat your hand on a hot grill. Okay if you want!

I wish for the ability to grow wings.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Oh, okay! Empathy for girl things! I'll give you a second parallel set of memories to help you understand both children and women better.

I wish I didn't have a stomach ache.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish I didn't have a stomach ache.

Okay. You will never have a "stoic cake." I don't know why you care about stoicism in your desserts though.

I wish I owned every video game ever.

[SunderedWorldDM]

Okay? I gave this feather a stunted brain. It can barely do second-grade math. You asked for a very idiotic feather, right?

I wish I could come up with a better response.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

With a better... huh. I think most people tend to grow up before they get a spouse... but then, I guess if you were married off young it probably wasn't to anyone good the first time around, so I can kind of see where this wish would come from. Maybe I can make it so you marry a friend you grew up with?

I wish to get a week of vacation at the end of the year.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish to get a week of vacation at the end of the year.

Your drunk friend performs a surgery to remove a mole with a dull knife. What? You asked for "a weak operation by a friend with beer."

I wish for an everlasting gobstopper.

[Crisis21]

You're in luck, I have a coupon for half off never-hopping mob-toppers.


I wish for a giant frog.

[ben-zayb]

Brock Lesnar is monstrous enough as he is, and now you want the giant version? Fine, welcome to suplex city.


I wish to fuse Santa Claus and the Grinch.

[Magic_Hat]

I wish to fuse Santa Claus and the Grinch.

You want "four salsa claws to pinch"? Okay.

I wish I was playing a JRPG.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

An AR pee pee? I guess I can give you a pair of those holo-glasses for your bathroom.

I wish to avert World War 3.

[Crisis21]

Sure, I can help you invent that. I'd really like to hear about the first two world worgs though if you've got the time.


I wish to drive the world's fastest car.

[Anonymouswizard]

Okay, I've given your puss an insane desire to eat, as well as an infinite supply of treats. That's what you wanted, to derive the world's fattest cat.

I wish the 'wish granting on a budget' thread had a bigger budget.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Granted! The thread becomes Fish Grunting on a Badger II: The Badger is Large Now

I wish for a Trans-Siberian Orchestra album.

[Pex]

Here's your ticket for the train that will travel across Portugal and Spain to visit all the orchids of plums in the Iberian peninsula.

I wish I had a ticket to travel through Portugal and Spain.

[ben-zayb]

Alright, I grant you a ticket to travel through portals in space.

Also, never let it be said that we didn't inform you that these portals are unstable, invisible, and elusive.


I wish for Pex to have a safe trip through those portals.

[Crisis21]

I can definitely ensure his safe trip on these turtles.


I wish for a happy new year!