Corrupt a Wish II

[PopeLinus1]

Granted. The school closes unexpectedly and you are let go. The building falls into disrepair as no one wants it and vile rumors circulate about why it closed so suddenly, causing everyone to stay away from it out of fear. Even the animals avoid it. The classroom remains completely silent.


I wish karma had a better targeting lock for bad people.

Granted. Everyone is a bad person now, so they are the only people who can be effected.

- - - Updated - - -

Granted. The school closes unexpectedly and you are let go. The building falls into disrepair as no one wants it and vile rumors circulate about why it closed so suddenly, causing everyone to stay away from it out of fear. Even the animals avoid it. The classroom remains completely silent.


I wish karma had a better targeting lock for bad people.

Granted. Everyone is a bad person now, so they are the only people who can be effected.

I wish I had a sandwich

[ChaoticHarmony]

Granted! You get a sandwich. It looks fabulously delicious but the meat is a little dry.

I wish Billy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy knew what to wish for

[Extrail]

Granted! billy if he existed would know what to wish for. Since he doesn't your wish is moot.

I wish billy from billy and mandy is real.

[Crisis21]

Granted. He is real and he knows exactly what to wish for.


Billy: I wish the show The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy never existed!

[PopeLinus1]

Granted. the grim adventures of billy and Mandy never existed. Turns out, in a weird time butterfly effect of this Abraham Lincoln ends up not giving a person their change, never gets the nickname honest Abe and loses the election miserably. The confederate states of America split off from the Union without objection, and shortly thereafter the US is annexed by Canada. Under a century later, Canada is annexed by Germany, which is shortly annexed by the Netherlands.

I’m still hungry, I wish for another sandwich.

[ChaoticHarmony]

Granted! You get another sandwich. On this one, not only is the meat dry, but the bread is stale, and they forgot the pickles.

I wish organic life forms didn't have to use the bathroom

[Extrail]

Granted this is caused by an extermination of all organic life throughout the multiverse. Though they don't defecate once their dead.

I wish everyone was alive again.

[Crisis21]

Granted. Everyone is now alive again, and the first thing we all have to do is use the toilet. World War III erupts over the ensuing fight for the restrooms.


I wish to develop *ahem* venereal cures for all venereal diseases. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

@V: Boo. Cheap cop-out, adding on an unrelated side effect like that.

[RedneckPhoenix]

Granted. Nobody can reproduce anymore, and humanity goes extinct in about 100 years.

I wish The Penguin was an actual penguin.

[Extrail]

Granted as well black canary is an actual black canary, green lanters are just green lanterns, green arrow is an ordinary green arrow, swamp thing is just a log, and the penguin is a superintelligenet penguin. Though none of the other changed characters got the same perk. Needless to say various super-villains utilize this, and now the universe is ruled in fear.

I wish that the superheroes were back to normal.

[PopeLinus1]

Granted. They all revert to human, lose their powers, and are normal to a definition.

You know guys, I hate to give this wish again, but I skipped breakfast so... Sandwich!

[Crisis21]

Granted. Here's your sandwich. The vegetables are kind of rotten, the meat is little rancid, the bread is moldy, and the cheese was found in the milk carton that expired some time last year. Should be fine, so enjoy!


I wish to get a different non-cop-out granting of my previous wish:

I wish to develop *ahem* venereal cures for all venereal diseases. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

@V: Much better.

[CosmicHobbit]

Granted. To go along with STIs, there are STCs (Sexually Transmitted Cures). However, this leads to people purposely infecting themselves for *cough* reasons (insert lenny face here) *cough*. This, in turn, leads to people charging more and more for an STC. This means that only the rich can afford them, leaving the non-rich to die from various diseases. Eventually, everyone dies except for the rich and the carriers or the precious STCs. The rich become less rich as the carriers take advantage of how much money they're willing to dish out, and eventually the rich die off as they keep infecting themselves then realise they can't afford the STC. Eventually the carriers die off as by this time they're so used to charging for their services that they never procreate for free, and none of the carriers are willing to pay for this reason. The carriers die of various reasons, leaving the human race extinct.

I wish to become emperor of a new halfling/hobbit empire on the Earth now that the entire human race is extinct.
It's free real estate

[PopeLinus1]

You are now emperor. But a caste of hobbits form a coup and launch you into space. (Origin story)

I wish I would stop making sandwich related wishes.

[flappeercraft]

Granted. You now make Hamburger related wishes instead.

I wish the underwear of every single person in the world became a flock of mosquitoes including my own.

[Crisis21]

Granted. All of the newly formed mosquitos immediately seek you out and drink your blood. You are left a shriveled corpse in short order. Everyone who lost their underwear due to your wish then beats your corpse into dust.


I wish people would reduce, reuse, and recycle more.

@V: What are you talking about, I said 'wish' clear as day! The red color is not a correction!

[Extrail]

Since there is no wish in the last post an error occurs and people start recycling mosquitoes this causes a huge pandemic of mosquitoes biting, and causing diseases.

I wish that people would reduce, reuse, and recycle more.

[PopeLinus1]

They do! Your the first person to be recycled but in the next decade almost all of canada’s population will be. Well it solved world hunger at least.

I wish I was God-Emperor of what remains of Canada.

[Kneenibble]

You come to rule with cosmic and imperial authority over this massively wide and now even less populated land mass, where the maples go untapped, the lakes go unfished, the hockey rinks go unzambonied, and young forests encroach upon vast acres of unharvested grain. But however you are styled, as this nation's ruler, your actions are still subordinate to our sovereign Queen Elizabeth II. And she does not share power.


I wish for an underemployed gym bunny grad student to fry chicken for me every Wednesday evening.

[flappeercraft]

Granted but Wednesday is now named Wendesday so you never get it since there are no Wednesday evenings.

I wish I lost five kilograms in weight without losing muscle mass or having and health problems from it.

[Crisis21]

Granted. Now, the weight loss is a bit asymmetrical and includes about half your hair. The left half. Your face ended up a little twisted too from how the operation was performed. There may be some screaming from women and small children as you walk down the street, but at least you've lost weight!


I wish people would stop adding riders as their only method of twisting the wish. You can corrupt the things people ask for without needing to add things they didn't.

[AuthorGirl]

Granted. Many people become discouraged from posting because they cannot express their favourite ideas. This thread becomes dull and a bit sad.

I wish I could confidently and successfully roleplay NPCs in my D&D game.

[flappeercraft]

Granted but doing so requires a lot of practice, at least 16 hours a day for 10 years straight.

I wish my water bottle automatically refilled every time it was empty.

[PopeLinus1]

It fills to the Brim. You had it secured but water sprayed start spurting out. Your drenched in water and then... boom, the water bottle explodes, sending metal directly into your face. You are knocked unconscious as water begins filling the land mass around you

But... I don’t know where you are so I’m just going to say your in the exact center of the Sahara Desert. The water, in a few short years turns it from a desert to a thriving environment. A strong community builds up around it, as people in overpopulated African countries like Nigeria and Ethiopia can expand out and create new homes.

Wow this wish turned out ok.

I wish I was God-Emperor of what was once the Sahara Desert

[Extrail]

dang late post oh well hmm your wish is granted but know you will only be god-emporor of the sahara for a single nanosecond.

I wish i gained a 100 bucks everytime i wrote a post.

[AuthorGirl]

dang late post oh well hmm your wish is granted but know you will only be god-emporor of the sahara for a single nanosecond.

I wish i gained a 100 bucks everytime i wrote a post.

Granted. You and the entire Playground are being assiduously audited by the relevant government agencies.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

[flappeercraft]

Granted. You and the entire Playground are being assiduously audited by the relevant government agencies.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

Granted. A random person whose name is "I" gets a girlfriend, just not you.

I wish that for all mathematical, computational and scientific purposes that 1=2

[AuthorGirl]

Granted. A random person whose name is "I" gets a girlfriend, just not you.

I wish that for all mathematical, computational and scientific purposes that 1=2

Granted. Now, I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure literally everything stops working properly.

Now, I wish to have a girlfriend.

[Crisis21]

Granted. You now have a girlfriend, and she's actually kind of hot. I'm sorry to say however that in all other respects she is the worst girlfriend ever. She never lets you hang out with your friends or visit family, constantly finds fault in everything you are and do, and cheats on you daily. Among many other horrid things.


I wish AuthorGirl's absolutely horrid girlfriend was crushed to death by a falling anvil.


@V: Please, I know better than to still have feelings for someone that horrible. I didn't try to save her, I tripped.

[ChaoticHarmony]

Granted! In order for this to happen, you have to lure her to the correct spot, we marked it with a big X for you. You tell her to meet you there so you can talk about how horrible AuthorGirl is. When she arrives at the spot, you realize that it is one of your ex girlfriends(you can pick) that you still have feelings for. In an heroic attempt, you dash to knock her out of the way before the anvil crashes into her, only for you to make the barest contact as the anvil crushes you both.

I wish that life had meaning